


Dancing to the Pain

by ChangeTheCircumstances



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Clem and Javi join the Saviors, Darker Clem, Darker Javi, F/M, Found Family, Game/TV Show Crossover, Gen, M/M, Minor Character Death, Negan's still a shit, The New Frontier AU, What if Javi didn't make it back to his family in time?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-09-14 15:22:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 101,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16915407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeTheCircumstances/pseuds/ChangeTheCircumstances
Summary: Clementine agrees to take Javi back to the junkyard but the herd is moving differently than they expected. They can't get to the junkyard and Prescott is out of the question. Instead, they find they have to take a different path, one that instead of leading them to the New Frontier and David ends up turning them around and right into the arms of the Saviors.





	1. Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to do an AU with Clem and Negan and then I thought to bring Javi into it too because I love him a lot and doing this during season 3 seemed like a good idea. The Negan/Javi idea is something that's popped into my head. It may not actually happen in the story but it's definitely an idea I'd like to explore so who knows.
> 
> I think I'm going to do about three or four chapters for this story give or take. Also, the title of the fic is from the song Solid Eyes by O. Children. They're a cool band, definitely check them out! Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: Also, in writing chapter 2, I have realized that three chapters definitely won't be enough for the story that I have planned out. I also added a few more tags that I think are relevant enough for the story. Thanks again for reading and kudos thus far!

Javi had convinced Clementine to take him back to the junk yard with the promise of giving her his van. They were turning to go down the road when they saw the _muertos_.

“Shit, they got here faster than I thought,” muttered Javi, noting how they’d changed directions as well. He glanced back to Clementine. “Is there somewhere we can go?”

“There’s a town near here but we’d probably have to go straight through the walkers.”

Javi had heard a few unique names for the undead so he figured those were her equivalents of _muertos_.

“We’ll go this way. Come on, there’s a place that should be safe for the night. Turn around.”

Javi did, going now in the opposite direction of his family. It made him a bit anxious as his heart hammered at the thought. It should have made him even more anxious that he was relying on a kid to eventually take him back that way but somehow he knew he could trust Clementine. She’d clearly seen some shit and had probably been unluckier than most. But she was clearly intelligent and hadn’t shot him on sight. That was good at least.

“You know, it would probably be better if I could defend myself,” Javi commented, gesturing with his still bound hands.

“I don’t know you. This way, I don’t have to worry about that.”

“Hey, fair enough,” sighed Javi. At least they were heading away from the majority of the _muertos_. Hopefully nothing major would happen that would require Javi to defend himself.

* * *

Maybe if the herd hadn’t been quite as quick, if they’d changed directions. Maybe if Javi hadn’t been forced to leave his family…

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

It didn’t matter anymore. The simple detour became so much more when Clementine’s temporary hideout turned out to be full. Though both Clementine and Javi had been pretty on edge, the group had appeared nice enough. Besides his own people, Javi hadn’t been around many others.

The group welcomed them into their own and when Clementine had said they just needed a place to stay for the night, the leader had said, “Hey, totally fine. We’re just moving through too. So, where you guys headed?”

They had both kept their answers vague even if the group slowly had them growing more and more comfortable. They laughed and joked and even offered Javi and Clementine some of their food. In retrospect, Javi wasn’t sure if maybe he was just too nice and hadn’t grown as accustomed to the new world as he’d thought, or maybe it had just been bad luck that the group they encountered turned out to be psychos.

But then, maybe didn’t matter anymore.

They jumped them without warning. Neither Javi or Clementine had abandoned their weapons but they were severely out numbered and when Clementine's gun didn't fire, they had to rely on other methods. Javi managed to knock someone’s tooth out and Clementine stabbed another in the side. However, they ended up tied up all the same. Now the people weren’t looking at them with kind, open faces but full of eagerness and hunger.

Three days Javi and Clementine ended up losing. Three days as they were dragged through the forest, kicked and beaten whenever they tried anything. The plan was for them to die, maybe for fun, for added food, it was hard to fully understand their reasoning. But instead of dying, Javi and Clementine got away on that third day, covered in blood and stumbling from exhaustion as they were barely able to stay on their feet. They looked like two _muertos,_ but at least they didn’t have to worry about being chased anymore. They had time to catch their breath now.

Despite what they’d just been through, upon getting out of his bonds, Javi’s immediate reaction hadn’t been wanting to kill them. He’d just wanted to get away. But Clementine had told him that it was too big of a risk. What if they led these psychos straight to Javi’s family? What then?

That simple question had changed Javi’s mind real quick. It was obvious there was no reasoning with these people and maybe…just maybe reason didn’t have a place in this world either.

So they got away and did the long trek back to the junkyard even though Javi knew the chances of finding his family were slim to none now. He was just thankful Clementine was still by his side, even if it was only because she might still get that van.

And after two days of walking, they came to find the van was there. Only it was dead as could be and full of bullet holes. Everything was full of bullet holes but no fresh bodies. If anyone had fallen, they might have already gotten devoured or maybe even dragged away to be buried depending on the situation.

Javi’s head jerked around as he heard Clementine’s foot crunch on something. She picked up the cassette player, clearly surprised that it looked in relatively good shape minus the fact that she’d just broken the casing a bit.

“Mariana…”

Clementine looked at him questioningly.

“My niece. She…she never would have left that behind. Not unless she had to.”

They looked around at the numerous bullet holes.

“I’d say she had to. Any idea where they could have gone from here?”

“I told them to stick to the road. That moving was the best idea.”

Clementine nodded in agreement.

“But we didn’t have any goal in mind or anything.”

“Which direction would they have likely headed?”

“We were going that way. There was nothing behind us and they thought the herd was heading in that direction so no way would they have gone that way either.”

“We could try and make it to that settlement I told you about,” Clementine replied as she walked over and handed the cassette player over. Javi immediately pocketed it. “There’s a chance they ended up there or someone scouting from there ran into them.”

“Are they friendly?”

“One of the bastards there sold me the faulty ammo,”  Clementine said with a hardened look coming into her eyes, referencing the major reason why they’d been captured by those psychos at all. She would have successfully shot several of them otherwise and maybe they wouldn’t have wasted all that time being held captive. “So I’m going to have to talk to him about it. But in general they’re fine enough. Nothing like what we just went through. They are a community.”

Javi nodded in understanding as he reluctantly agreed it was their best bet. After scouting the area again for some supplies, they started back on the road in the direction of this community. Eventually they went off the pavement, Javi trusting Clementine’s sense of direction. It was about a half day’s journey with both of them clearly exhausted by the end of it. They were quite literally running on fumes by this point.

Obviously if Javi’s family wasn’t there, he was going to want to get back out on the road immediately. However, he had to admit that was suicide. He’d have to sacrifice some time that could be used to catch up to them for rest instead if he didn’t want to risk making a mistake out here.

Only Clementine didn’t actually lead them to a settlement near the end of the day. They reached a mass grave, some dead still slowly walking around but the majority of the ground just covered in undistinguishable rotting guts. If anyone had survived, they sure as hell hadn’t been able to stick around.

“No…no this shouldn’t have happened!” Clementine angrily growled, staying just soft enough that the _muertos_ didn’t hear them. “The walls were solid. They shouldn’t have broken.”

They both approached carefully, taking down the _muertos_ near them as they looked over the area. Despite how the dead had clearly won the fight, it also became clear that they hadn’t been the ones to start it. Some truck had been run through that looked similarly patched up to the one Clementine had run off the road.

Clementine admitted she didn’t know if they were part of a particular group or not and they didn’t find anything to suggest Javi’s family had gone here either. At least that meant they could still be alive.

“Were these people fighting with a nearby community or something? Maybe Kate ended up nearer to that one?” Hope started to build in Javi’s chest.

But Clementine broke it down immediately. “I only passed through here a few times. But they seemed as peaceful as you can be in this kind of world. And I don’t know of any other communities in the area.”

Javi softly cursed as Clementine came across a still working vehicle. The one plus of all this carnage was that any survivors hadn’t had time to take much with them. There was still plenty to scavenge as Javi and Clementine carefully took out the _muertos_.

Javi had found a backpack and was filling that up as Clementine double checked the car, finding nothing wrong with it and a tank full of gas. However, she didn’t turn it on yet since the noise would undoubtedly draw the remaining _muertos_.

She looked to him, hesitating a second before she softly called out, “You should get in. There’s a chance we could catch up with your family.”

“Thanks.”

Javi quickly finished packing up what he’d found and carefully went to the other side of the car. When Clementine started it, the dead immediately started to turn towards them. However, as they descended on the place, Javi and Clementine were long gone with just the dust left behind.

“I’m a bit surprised you’re still trying to help me. You got what you wanted,” Javi admitted once they were far away from the remnants of the settlement.

Clementine gave him a look that made Javi want to quickly backpedal. Maybe he was overstepping his boundaries or had just insulted her or—but no. She relaxed after a moment and gave a curt nod. “You had my back. I’m just paying the debt.” The way she said it suggested that there was a bit more to her reasoning, certainly some heart left, but she hid it well and the drive turned silent in the passing minutes.

* * *

That first day they hadn’t been able to go far, both just too exhausted. They ended up sleeping in the car after carefully pulling off and into the brush. The plan was to sleep in shifts but both had completely passed out. If something had tried to jump them, they would have woken up immediately anyways considering being a light sleeper was a skill one needed in the new world. Still, Clementine was a bit irritated about it, even if she simultaneously seemed pleased that Javi hadn’t tried to take advantage of the situation in anyway.

After that they’d driven a lot more. Clementine always kept at the wheel, showing that she had only come to trust Javi so far. As they drove, they back tracked a few times looking for signs and even going off rode. They only ever ran into one group though when they’d momentarily left the car at one point. The group had been pretty guarded, not a surprising quality anymore.

When it was clear they weren’t getting anywhere, Javi had finally just blurted out what he’d wanted to know. He’d just been careful in making it clear he didn’t care where their settlement was or how big it was or anything like that if they had a community. He just needed a little information and that was it.

“I just need to know if you’ve seen a woman with two kids. A girl and a boy in their early teens. All of them Hispanic. They were probably on foot. Please, I just need to know.”

But the guys had shook their heads and said they hadn’t. Neither had anyone come through their camp that looked like that. There wasn’t any reason for them to lie, none that Javi could see. So he had to turn around and try and look for other leads, figuring that this one would probably turn cold pretty damn quick anyways.

He couldn’t have known that immediately after leaving, one of the men had said, “But wait, wasn’t there that—”

“She was in a group, remember? They came from what was left of Prescott and in cars, duh? Probably not the same damn people.”

The first man had looked like he might run after Javi and Clementine anyways, just in case, but had eventually chosen not to. Javi had no way of knowing.

So they continued the search. And continued and continued until eventually Clementine pulled over one day. She turned the car off and looked at him. Javi’s gut dropped as he realized he was going to be forced to make a choice, then and there.

“We’re starting to just waste gas,” said Clementine. “Maybe your family is still out there. I’ve seen crazier things happen. But I can’t waste my time in this area anymore. I…we can split the supplies but once I leave, I’m gone for good.”

Javi almost got out of the car immediately. He almost said, “How the hell could I just abandon them like that?! No way!”

But he didn’t. He sat and stared at the dashboard and realized he had nothing. He had no idea where his family was. If they were wandering on foot, if they’d found a car or a community or were _muertos_ in the forest. Javi preferred to think they were alive. There was certainly a chance of that but in the end, that part didn’t matter right now. What mattered were Javi’s chances of finding them again.

And after driving around the area longer than Clementine should have felt obligated to do so, those chances were practically zero now. The thought didn’t make Javi want to give up. If anything, it made him want to fight harder, if not for his family’s memories, then for the chance that they could cross paths again. But he’d have to survive in order to do that and just getting out of the car and aimlessly wandering around was not going to help him survive.

“I think I’ll stick with you a little longer Clementine. If you don’t mind,” Javi admitted, his voice breaking slightly even though he thought his reasoning sound.

Clementine looked a bit surprised and perhaps even a little relieved as she tried for an indifferent shrug. “Fine by me. And you know you can just call me Clem.”

“Ok, yeah cool. Clem,” Javi said, trying for some small sense of normalness. “Are we headed anywhere in particular?”

She shook her head. “Just out of this area. It’s been bled dry enough as is.”

Javi couldn’t agree more considering all the time they’d spent moving around it. Clem started the car and quickly pulled them back onto the road. At the next major street they took a right. Neither Javi nor Clem realized it was taking them in the opposite direction of Richmond, of Javi’s family, and the New Frontier. They wouldn’t realize that until years later.

Neither did they know what they were headed into but they would figure that out much sooner rather than later.

* * *

Clementine’s more sullen, quiet act slowly started to break down as it was just Javi and her on the move. It was hard trying to act solo when you were constantly with someone else and Javi was just more of a talkative person. He talked if he got nervous or when things were just too quiet. And he did like the silence sometimes! But it also got too much with Clem so he would mention things about Mariana. He’d talk about Gabe and Kate and all their time on the road.

She didn’t usually say much when he did, not about herself. Slowly she did start to make comments about them though. She’d even laugh when Javi would tell a funny story about them. And it was slowly getting easier to laugh at those stories again.

Javi had thought he’d been hardened when he’d killed his dad and lost his mother, brother, and uncle all in one day. But no, losing everything had hardened him. He could still hold onto hope that they were out there, but focusing on it just depressed him.

So he just focused on the good parts of the past and he focused on the present. He focused on getting to know Clementine as well as she would allow it and making sure they protected each other. The day he realized that was just as important to her was when she finally allowed him to drive one afternoon. She’d held onto that wheel like it was a lifeline for the longest time. But now Javi knew she really had come to trust him.

And then maybe…just maybe they were becoming friends as Clementine finally opened up to him. They had parked off on the side of the road and were sitting near their small campfire. They’d been talking mainly about their plans for tomorrow when Clementine suddenly interrupted and asked, “So you never really joined a group?”

“Nothing besides my family.”

Clementine gave a curt nod. Javi waited, wondering if that would be it and if he’d have to start talking again. Or maybe she’d decided it was best if they turned to silence now. But no, she spoke up and softly murmured, “I was with…I guess about three different groups, you could say.”

“What happened to all of them?”

“Dead and gone mostly.”

If this conversation had started a little earlier on in their partnership, Clem probably would have shut up by now. But Javi had not only proven himself trustworthy by this point but also as a friend, despite how hard Clementine hadn’t seemed to want that. However, she had kept everything in for so long that she realized she needed to vent, and not just to the open air or some dead walker. For Clementine, she realized that Javi wasn’t going anywhere, at least not for a while. And she had missed that feeling, knowing someone had her back.

So she finally spoke about her past. “There was Lee. First. Then Lee and Kenny and his family. Doug. Eventually Ben too. And Lilly.”

“What happened with that one?”

“We just slowly started to fall apart. Lilly was losing it. Kenny too. He’d killed her dad after he had a heart attack. Lee tried to save him but Kenny thought it was too late.”

“Jesus Christ. And this was at the start? How old were you?”

“Eight. We were all trapped in this room together. If he had turned, we all would have died,” she softly admitted. She took a deep breath, the fire dancing across her face before she continued. “And after that shit happened we found out someone had been stealing our supplies for another group, Kenny later told me it was Ben. We got run out of there because the other group didn’t get their usual supplies. When we finally stopped, Lilly actually got it right .She accused Ben of stealing but Lee fought her on it. He defended Ben and so had Doug and Lilly shot Doug in the heat of the moment. Then we found out Kenny’s son was bitten and his wife couldn’t handle that and we…

“We came across a couple. Omid and Christa. It was them and me and Lee and Kenny and Ben and this old man who’d lived on the train we found.”

“You guys were living in a train? Seriously?”

“Only for a bit. We were actually using it to drive to the coast.”

“It was working?!”

Clementine’s lips quirked a bit. “Yeah. I’d never been on a train before. Even with everything that happened those…those few days were good times,” Clementine softly admitted. Lee had taught her a lot on that train and she remembered passing through the countryside with fondness. However, like everything, that too had ended. Clementine’s smile dropped just a bit as she continued.

“But then we got to Savannah, Georgia. Things started to fall apart again. We met more people, more betrayals. Saw a community torn apart. And…and this guy who the group had ripped off earlier he…I shouldn’t have listened to him. But I thought he knew where my parents were. They were supposed to be in Savannah. I thought he could help but instead he…”

When Clementine didn’t immediately continue, Javi murmured, “You were a kid. It’s not your—”

“But it was,” stressed Clementine. “You can’t stay a kid in this world. Not one that god damn naïve. I got…because of me Lee got bit. We’d been together at the beginning. We found each other and he…he basically raised me. And in the end he…he saved me. And I realized I had just lost my parents and Lee all in one go.

“I saw them you know. My parents. As we were leaving. And when Lee just kept getting sicker and sicker he…I didn’t want to. He told me and I didn’t want to but I thought about my parents and I…I knew he was right. I couldn’t let him become one of them. So I shot him. And I left.”

Silence fell over them. Nothing moved except the occasional noise from the underbrush and the crackling fire.

Javi let out a slow, shaky sigh. His eyes were closed as he whispered. “I killed my dad.”

Clementine looked over.

“He was dying and…I didn’t realize it at the time but it was the day. The day the world ended,” Javi admitted. “I remember traffic being backed up for miles so I jumped out and ran. I hadn’t seen him in so long. I hadn’t been there when he needed me so I knew I had to be there to say goodbye. But it was too late. When I finally got there, gasping for air from how far I’d run, he was gone. And I could tell everyone blamed me for not making it in time, at least a little. Well…maybe not Kate but everyone else for sure.”

“And then he came back,” Clementine murmured.

Javi nodded. “I didn’t understand why he was doing it at the time. I mean, to be fair I still thought it was him. The only thing I did understand though was that he’d lost it and it was was him or my brother. There was nothing else I could have done and I…I bashed his head in. He’d bit our mother pretty badly before I put him down so my brother had to take her into the city. I never saw them again and realizing now that they were headed into the thick of it…”

Clementine nodded in understanding.

“My uncle Hector was with us too but he’d gotten bitten so we lost him pretty quickly. We were in denial for a bit but soon we had to accept what had happened to my mom. And probably my brother too. We stuck around as long as we could but we had to leave eventually if I wanted to keep Kate and the kids safe. We left him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, same here,” Javi said with a heavy sigh. The silence continued for a moment longer, both just calming their breathing and getting their thoughts together. “But after that we basically just kept driving. What about you?”

“Remember Christa and Omid?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I eventually found them and we traveled for a while. But we ran into this girl and she killed Omid. Christa was pregnant at the time but she lost the baby and then I lost Christa in the middle of the fight. I didn’t see her die but she…she was gone and I never found her again. And that’s when I came across the second group.”

Clementine continued, Javi only interrupting her here and there or answering a small question she had for him. He heard about how she lost the second group, how she basically became a big sister and ended up with the guy Kenny from before, constantly wondering if she’d done the right thing. She touched the scars just above her eyebrow as she talked about that and then came mention of the New Frontier.

Javi had mentioned his brother’s name was David but neither him nor Clem made the connection without photos to prove it. It helped that David had never mentioned any family and Clem had never asked. They simply kept talking, Clementine eventually murmuring, “The worst part is…I hate them more for taking AJ away than for their actual model. Now that I’ve thought about it…I don’t think a group of that size can exist in the way that people did before. You can’t be lenient about rules, not if you want to keep everyone as alive as possible.”

“So you’re basically saying freedom doesn’t belong in a world like this.”

“Possibly,” whispered Clem. “I could never work with them again anyways though. Not for taking AJ away from me.”

Javi couldn’t help but agree. If he’d had Mariana or Gabe taken from him like that…or possibly even Clementine now, he would have done anything to get them back. Before, his first thought might have been to try and negotiate but not now. Now he’d lost too much and when he decided he’d do anything, he meant it.

* * *

The car wasn’t perfect. It didn’t last and they eventually went on foot for a long amount of time. They came in contact with a few people as they walked along trails and through woods and along the road. The contact never lasted long, Javi having taken after Clem’s distrust of others. Sometimes that truly paid off as well. Nothing was ever as bad as when they been kidnapped and nearly killed by that one group. However, there were a fair amount of fights that happened between them and others with bodies left behind as they continued on.

Before, Javi would have probably tried to negotiate first. But not this time. Perhaps not anymore. He’d lost so much. Now that he saw Clem as a true friend, he knew he couldn’t lose her. She’d slowly become the only thing he had left. So when one person they came into contact tried to take Clementine as a hostage, Javi had just shot the man without hesitation. He hadn’t asked for his story or had tried to stop more bloodshed. He had just shot him and Clem was safe and alive because of it.

“Thanks,” she breathlessly said, rubbing her bruising throat.

“No problem,” Javi murmured with a small smile, not even losing a moment’s thought on the corpse behind her.

As they continued to survive with each other, it no longer became a question of when Javi would leave. He wouldn’t, they looked out for each other and they’d stick together through thick and thin. Javi grew to respect her even more, look up to her, and an almost sibling like relationship formed. It wasn’t an obvious, of course Javi was like the older brother simply because he was older, kind of one. It was more complex, both being more knowledgeable about different things due to their personal experience. Javi was just thankful someone had talked to Clementine about her period because that part would have become lost on him.

But otherwise they had started to create their own little patterns. Javi always stayed back when they ran into others as almost everyone severely underestimated Clementine. Then if needed, he could always catch them from behind as Clementine surprised them from the front.

If either of them needed to blow off steam because something had gone wrong, the other always kept watch on them as they never let any small arguments get between them. They took turns going into unknown places, especially the one time they went through a deserted town. They took turns hunting and they took turns teaching each other little things to pass the time.

At one point, Clem was actually able to get her hands on some paper and pencils. She had ended up showing Javi some simple tips on how to draw and he had to say he was pretty impressed.

She ended up pulling up an old drawing that she hadn’t shown him yet, another sign of the strengthening bond between them as she confided in him. “It’s pretty crap. Right?” she said with a sad chuckle.

“Oh I don’t know. I think the color patterns are pretty damn impressive.”

Clem rolled her eyes and punched Javi in the shoulder.

“Who’s it of?”

“Kenny and his family. Duck and I were drawing together. I’d meant to give this to him but…it just didn’t happen.”

“Wish I had a picture or something of some of my family,” Javi sighed. “I just didn’t think to grab anything like that.”

“Well it wouldn’t have been pretty useful.”

“Still…but what are you drawing now?”

“You gotta guess.”

Javi cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“If you guess it right before I finish it then…you get the next can of soda we find.”

“Ok, deal!”

For once feeling relatively safe, they spent their time holed up as Javi tried to figure out what the hell Clementine was drawing. He came saying random things and when he finally said, “Oh shit it’s me!”

“Too late, already finished it.”

“That not fair! You totally weren’t!”

“I was the one drawing. How could you possibly know?” smirked Clem.

Javi shoved her and she shoved back twice as hard without warning, causing Javi to tumble over.

“I totally win that.”

“Oh was that the goal, to win?” laughed Javi. He pushed himself back up and looked at the picture again. “You know, I really like this actually.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I keep it?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Javi’s smile stretched farther as he carefully folded the sketch up and pocketed it.

Though they didn’t have free time often, Clem occasionally showed him other drawing tips though more often than not Javi preferred to just sit and watch her. Then like with Clem’s drawing abilities, Javi started teaching her some simple Spanish words and phrases.

It started out when Clem asked about one of the occasional swears he used. Obviously it was a swear considering the specific times it slipped out and how he always said it, but Clementine still had no idea what it meant. “So what does _chingados_ mean?”

“Oh,” Javi said, immediately growing a little sheepish. To be fair, Clem sometimes cursed more than he did but he still got a little self conscious about it now and then, remembering how he’d tried to keep Mariana’s and Gabe’s mouths clean. “It’s just something my dad would say a lot. Every time he did, mom would hit him,” he said with a slight chuckle. “It’s a pretty simple one.”

“Yeah, but what does it mean?”

“Uh, the closest thing would probably be like, what the fuck. Though it’s not like a direction translation or anything.”

Clem snorted and tried to say it again. “ _Chingados_?”

“Yeah, exactly like that,” laughed Javi.

“What are some other words?”

“Uh…”

Clementine rolled her eyes. “They don’t have to be curse words. Or do you only know curse words?”

“I actually do speak Spanish you know?”

“Well say something then.”

“ _¿Qué onda?_ ”

“What’s that mean?”

“It’s like, what’s up if you’re talking to a familiar friend. It’s used informally.”

“Could you teach me others?”

“Really?”

“Yeah I…I’ve always liked learning. And Lee…he never got the chance to, but we had this idea of having our own little classroom. He’d get to teach all sorts of history and I’d have my own little desk… He worked at a college as a professor.”

“Well, I’m definitely not a professor and I can probably teach you jack about history. But I can definitely try and teach you some Spanish.”

“Well, let’s see how you do then, teach.”

Javi of course knew the words, but they both quickly found he really wasn’t a teacher. However, he sure as hell tried, even starting up where he’d try to get Clem to learn at least three new words a day. Sometimes they overlapped as Javi and even Clem might have forgotten what they’d already gone over.

However, they kept up the practice in order to fill the silence and the long nights.

* * *

By now they’d been traveling for several months. Late spring had turned to summer and then fall had begun. Now Clem had started noticing a problem with Javi because of it. Finally, Clem decided to teach Javi one of the last lessons Lee had taught her.

It wasn’t quite cold enough to need a fire though they were sat close together as they rested from another long trek.

Javi was actually in the middle of teaching her some more words when she suddenly pulled a strand of his hair.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Your hair’s getting too long.”

“Well we’ve been on the road for a while—”

“Doesn’t matter. Always be mindful of your hair. Somebody could way too easily grab this. Person or walker,” replied Clementine. She bent down and grabbed the knife she kept strapped to her leg. “I can cut it now if you like.”

“Uh…”

“You did mine that one time.”

“We managed to find some scissors that one time,” snorted Javi.

Clem raised the knife a little higher.

Javi quickly leaned back.

“Fine, be that way.” She shoved the knife back into the sheath and pulled a hair tie off of her wrist. “At least do this then, ok?”

“Ok, yeah. Probably not a bad idea.” Javi took it and clumsily tried to pull all the strands into a tied ponytail.

“Nope. Stop, this is starting to hurt.”

Javi rolled his eyes as Clementine grabbed him and pulled his back to her. She quickly fixed it and managed to tie it better.

“Ok, but we’re really going to need find some scissors and maybe a new razor because my last one broke.”

“I’ll put it on the list,” replied Clem. “But just remember, if nothing else, keep your hair short.”

“I promise I will,” Javi smiled. “Thanks.”

* * *

As they continued to travel and the seasons passed, there was one goal. Put simply, it was to survive. Groups broke down, got dangerous, so they continued their method of staying alone and constantly moving. The longest they stayed any one place was a week at this old gas station they found on the side of the road. However, like always, they eventually left that too. Of course, there were pros to being mainly scavengers and they could always hunt too. However, living only that kind of live style and constantly moving had their own tolls as well. Though they always tried to stay stocked, their food and water situation got unpredictable from time to time and there was always the risk of it getting worse.

Now there was a whole new problem coming their way though they’d known it would happen sooner rather later. The temperature started to drop, getting colder and colder as winter neared. Staying warm started to become a problem and it looked like they’d need to find a more permanent place to settle down for part of the winter. Of course, they couldn’t just pick any place as they could find themselves stuck and without food. Starving to death was definitely an issue they had to work around.

And then, to add on top of that, Javi got sick.

He wasn’t bitten or anything like that, thank god. But it started off with him just feeling woozy. And then a fever had started to build up and he couldn’t keep his food down. Right away Clem had been careful around him so as not to get sick too as she started to focus on looking for medicine more so than any other supplies. They didn’t find anything of much use except a face mask at one point which Javi quickly used to try and keep whatever bug he had from Clementine.

If they had a more secure, warmer place and didn’t have to move so much, maybe Javi would have been able to fight off the virus without much issue. However, they were running low on a lot. Javi was getting more and more dehydrated, and more and more hungry. Clementine was losing him and it quickly became clear she wasn’t going to be able to save him on her own.

Now instead of focusing on medicine, Clementine looked for a new vehicle for them. Time had become their biggest enemy.

It was pure luck that she managed to find one as soon as she did, Javi only getting weaker by the day. It was a bike that had been hidden away and somehow overlooked. She’d never ridden one so she took just enough time to get used to it so she didn’t fling Javi off on the first try. For a while now, they’d kept their distance from each other, Javi not wanting to risk her getting sick, but this meant they didn’t have a choice anymore.

Javi got on behind her, still trying his best to keep his face turned away as he coughed into his mask.

Clem looked for any signs of life as they rode. Her eyes strained for the telltale signs that a community was in the area. They rode two days in total and on the second one, Javi finally drifted away. He just suddenly couldn’t hold on anymore. Clem lost her balance as she tried to keep them righted and grab Javi at the same time. They twisted on the road, Javi falling off as Clem went down with the bike. Her jeans ripped apart on her left side as she skidded across the ground, blood streaming down her leg as she dragged herself from under the bike. She pulled herself up, limping on the likely fractured leg. She had to get back to him. She had to save him.

“No, not like this,” she growled through her gritted teeth. Surrounded by walkers, being taken down by another group, fine. But not like this. Javi couldn’t die without a fight.

Her leg throbbed as she came up beside him, quickly dropping to her knees.

“Javi, come on Javi you have to stay awake.” Clem shook him hard, pulling his head off the pavement as his eyes lazily opened. His face was partially scrapped up from the pavement and the mask had gotten torn off. It was hard to say but it looked like he’d broken his left arm too.

“I don’t think I’m gonna make it,” whispered Javi.

“No, you made it this long. We can keep going!”

“I…I don’t think I can.”

“No! We agreed! We would do anything and everything to protect each other. You’re all I have left now and I will not let this end with me leaving you behind like every other time!”

Javi coughed and Clementine quickly supported his head more. She could hear walkers starting to move in around them, drawn by the noise of their crash.

“You…you’re all I have left too,” whispered Javi.

“Exactly! So we can’t give up.”

“I don’t…I don’t think we have a choice. Not this time.”

Clem closed her eyes. Tears tried to prick through, angry and hot in the cold, winter air. Javi was right. The bike definitely wasn’t going to ride and no way was Clem going to be able to drag Javi away. It was so much like when she’d left Kenny that the anger only grew. What was the point if this was how it ended with everything that she touched?

Javi’s head rolled to the side as he spotted one of the nearing _muertos_. “I shouldn’t…shouldn’t have to ask this of you.”

Clem shook her head, already understanding. “You don’t have to.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to say that either.”

“If…if it’s anything to you, I’m glad I met you.”

“Well of course you are. I saved your life.”

Javi managed a small laugh at that which quickly devolved into another hard cough. Clem gently let his head fall back on the ground before she reached around back to where her gun still was. She then used her left hand to grasp his as her right hand clasped the gun.

“See you around,” whispered Javi.

“Yeah—”

Gun fire erupted around them and Clem instinctively let go. She focused on covering Javi instead, keeping them both flat to the ground. She heard the walkers fall and the moment the gun fire subsided Clem had her gun out. Only now she was pointing it at the surrounding area and not Javi.

She still kept low, partially on top of Javi’s chest as she propped herself up with her free hand. Slowly people began to emerge from the surrounding trees.

“Well, now what the fuck do we have here?”

Clem turned to face the man, gun still raised as her face hardened. They all had a fair amount of weaponry and they looked comfortable around each other. Their clothes also seemed way too nice for them to be some kind of nomadic group. Maybe these were the people Clem had been hoping to find. She lowered her gun but only slightly.

“You know, if you’re trying to say thanks, you’re doing a piss poor fucking job of it little lady.” The man grinned and swung his bat up onto his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Clem replied. She eased up a bit more but only because she needed their help if she wanted to keep Javi alive. It was time to play polite and grateful, at least for now.

“He bitten?”

“No,” she quickly said before adding, “You didn’t have to help.” She hoped the leading statement would get the man to explain who the hell they were and what their angle was. It seemed to work.

“God damn right about that so you make sure you count yourself extra fucking lucky we came along.” Did that grin ever leave his face? “Figured you had fuck all on you but again, it’s you’re fucking lucky day. We’re looking to expand and you are welcomed to join.”

Clementine’s eyes narrowed. “Listen, I just need medicine for my friend.”

“Just medicine. Hmm…well what great skills or services are you willing to trade for that?”

Her face darkened but before she could even get out a word, a disgusted look came across the man’s face.

“Really? Jesus fucking Christ what is this piss poor world coming to where a kid like you automatically assumes shit like that from me? I’m talking like guarding a fucking wall, handling a gun.”

Clem eased back up.

“You seem pretty fucking capable. Do some shit like that, we’ll fix up your friend, and maybe you’ll want to stick around.”

“Yeah…maybe,” murmured Clementine. “You actually have meds?”

“You god damn bet we do! Even our own fucking doctor.” The man stepped even closer and this time Clem completely dropped her gun, putting it back in the waist of her jeans. The other people relaxed as the man leaned over and eyes went wide. “Well I’ll be damned. Javier Garcia!”

“Y-you know him?”

“I guess your friend didn’t tell you,” the man laughed. “To be fair, I doubt you were watching that kind of TV before this shit all happened.” Clem just continued to stare, utterly confused as to what the guy meant. They’d talked about the day the world had gone to shit but honestly not much about before. The man continued as he asked, “So what’s his little fucking problem?”

“A…a stomach bug of some kind. He probably would have been fine if we had the food and a warm place but…”

“Well gone are those fucking problems little lady.” The man held out his hand. “I’m Negan. Welcome to the Saviors.”

Clementine hesitated for a second before finally taking it. He pulled her up with ease as she said, “Clementine. And I guess you…know of Javi.”

“You bet your ass I do,” grinned Negan. He gestured around. “Get him up and let’s hurry on home boys.” Clementine took a step back, wanting to try and keep an eye on everyone. Just because she was agreeing to go with them didn’t mean she trusted them. However, Negan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and effectively held her to his side. She watched as one woman grabbed the bike. She looked it over and then started to push it forward, either deciding it was worth saving or that they could salvage it for parts. Clementine’s eyes turned back to Negan though as he said, “Now Clementine, I like to get to know the people I bring into my little community. So tell me, how does a badass like you manage to survive this long?”


	2. First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a quick thanks to anyone reading this! Again, this was originally not going to be that long but then I thought about it and realized I would be rushing a lot of character development if I didn't make it at least a little longer. I'll probably figure out exactly how many chapters I'll need after I post the next or fourth chapter.
> 
> Also, I'm taking elements from the comic books but more from the TV show just because I'm more familiar with it but you'll probably see references to both in this. Also, they'll probably interact with Rick's group in some future chapter (which means an awkward reunion between Glen and Clementine) but that will largely be a background, side thing as the story is going to focus on the developing dynamic between Clem, Javi, and Negan, and the New Frontier when they jump back into the picture.
> 
> And because I can't help myself, I also made a playlist for this fic if anyone is interested: https://8tracks.com/changethecircumstances/dancing-to-the-pain
> 
> Anyways, thanks again for the kudos and I hope you enjoy this going forward!

As Clementine limped along, Negan never offered to help her. If anything, he kind of made it a bit more difficult as he had that arm slung around her. She couldn’t tell if he was being a dick, didn’t think she was in that much pain, or if this was some weird test. Either way, she wasn’t looking for any handouts so she stayed quiet except when answering the pointed questions that came her way. She kept things largely vague when it came to before her or Javi had gone on the road.

In short, she said, “We’re all each other has,” which seemed to satisfy Negan enough. He didn’t really care about the names and the past groups. He clearly just wanted to know if they’d have to worry about some group coming out of nowhere, accusing them of kidnapping Clem and Javi now.

When describing the months that Javi and her had spent together, Clementine was more truthful as she didn’t see anything in her statements that could be used against them. Besides, she wanted to prove she was willing to work with these guys, at least until Javi was better, and it was easier to telling the truth or a partial version than completely making something up. But again, she focused more on factual information rather than making it some narrative. She told Negan that they’d mainly been traveling South, South-East. They hadn’t had a destination in mind, just wanting to get to an area that was less likely to snow this winter. They hadn’t passed through any massive communities of interest. There was that time they’d gone through an abandoned town, but by now it had mostly been picked clean. In total, they’d been traveling for a little over seven months together. Just things like that.

Eventually Clementine decided to turn the tables though. She needed to figure out who Negan and these people were. However, she started with a question that wasn’t to imploring and which was on her mind anyways.

“How do you know about Javi?”

Negan chuckled. He seemed to do that a lot. “He was a fucking damn good ball player is what he was.”

“So the jersey did hold importance,” mused Clementine. She’d asked him once why he was so focused on washing it and holding onto it rather than getting something else. He’d just shrugged and had replied, “Sentimentality.” It also made sense why he’d gotten excited about finding that metal bat and had mainly used that when it came to bashing walkers’ heads in.

Now thinking about him, Clem strained her head back to try and catch a glimpse. He’d passed out after the gun shots had occurred and apparently still was. His arm definitely looked broken now meaning it looked like they’d end up with these people even longer than Clementine had intended.

Time to get more information.

“Sooo….the Saviors?” she questioned.

“Hell yeah little lady. I’m fucking saving us from this shit hole of a world.”

“Ah, so it’s not like the name of your location or something from before. You’re just full of yourself,” Clem deadpanned. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw one man blanch at her like she was insane. Another man who had a really distinct mustache looked almost amused, though it was hard to say if he thought that was a good or bad thing.

However, Negan just bellowed out harder, causing a few that hadn’t looked surprised to now do so. Ok, so clearly these people weren’t used to others back-talking or questioning their leader, at least not in the way she just had.

Negan didn’t seem to mind though. Maybe it was because she was younger or new or what she’d just said had happened to make him laugh. It was hard to say as he just replied, “You’re a fucking firecracker. Aren’t you?”

“In that I’m known to severely damage people when they get close? Yeah, you could say that.” Bitterness was unintentionally laced through the joke as Negan patted her back.

“Lost a lot then, huh?” Negan’s voice turned just a little softer so that his men couldn’t hear them. Clementine suspected this didn’t happen often. “We all lose fucking people but you didn’t go down with them. You’re a damn survivor. I can tell.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing.”

“Then why not become a savior?” The grin returned and Negan spoke louder again. “Surviving only gets you so far you know?”

“I’d have to discuss it with Javi.”

“Need to get the big brother’s permission?”

“Are you kidding me? Half of our time together has been me saving his ass,” Clementine replied. The words weren’t untrue. It was just that Javi had probably saved her during the other half. However, she needed to at least appear willing to become a part of the group and that meant acting a bit more like Negan, which also added to the curse finally slipping out. It honestly was pretty easy with Negan hanging off of her. He was dangerous, that was obvious, but his general personality and “charm”, if you could call it that, was hard to ignore.

“You know, you’re going to fucking break my heart if you end up saying no,” laughed Negan. “I bet you’ll give half our men a run for their fucking money.”

“No need to bet. That’s a fact.”

“What did I fucking say!? A firecracker!” Negan shouted as he threw his head back.

Clem rolled her eyes in response, another action that everyone else seemed to think was the wrong fucking move. But Negan just laughed again, keeping that one arm slung around her shoulder as he swung his bat with his free hand.

The trek took maybe half an hour, tops. Clementine had to admit she was impressed that no one questioned why they had to drag the unconscious guy along and why they were bothering with the kid at all. Negan really did have things under control and she expected that was partially why she hadn’t been asked to give her weapons over. If she tried anything, literally everyone would be aiming at her again.

Still, she stayed on edge during the walk, just in case if she had to finish things in a blaze of glory or something equally bloody.

However, as their walk came to an end, Clementine didn’t need to worry about it. They’d left the paved road a while ago before turning on a gravel one. Now it seemed they were at some old, run down factory. It looked like the defenses were only partially put up as work was being done on the inner and outer walls with guards posted at different places.

“We’ll get Dr. Carson to look at the slugger and we’ll get his assistant to look at you,” Negan said as they approached. “Surprised you didn’t complain a damn bit.”

So it had been a test. “I’ve had worse,” she said with a shrug. Also not a lie.

“That a girl,” Negan grinned before barking off orders to everyone, including the people on guard duty as they approached. He still kept an arm around Clementine though and didn’t let go even once they were in the compound.

A few quick glances showed that they were still in the process of building and expanding. If they’d been consistent on the work, they might have only been here half a year. However, Clem suspected it had been longer considering all the issues that might have cropped up. Maybe the design hadn’t been able to withstand some severe weather. Maybe a herd had come through and had torn it down. Maybe they’d lost a couple of men and had slowed work for other reasons.

The world was pretty damn unpredictable now and anything could have happened. It was more likely they’d been forced to deal with setback after setback and had been here at least a full year if not longer.

Glancing back, Clem realized she couldn’t see Javi anymore as he’d been taken somewhere else. Fear spiked up in her but she forced herself to stay calm. If they were going to do anything to him, they probably would have already made those intentions clear. They could have easily overpowered Clem back there and forced her to come along and if they were going to do something else, then it didn’t make sense that Negan had continued to keep up the charade.

She’d just make sure to ask if she could see Javi after she was looked at. Instead, to distract from the anxiety, Clem continued to take stock of the community as they walked through. There were places that looked like they might lead to an armory and sleeping areas and storage and maybe a place that had become a cafeteria of sorts. However, there didn’t look to be any good place for a garden, made more clear by the mostly gravel and concrete covered ground. Though not as big as some communities, Clementine doubted they were able to feed everyone just by scavenging and hunting. Maybe a garden had been placed in some outcrop in the area?

She didn’t ask questions, both because Negan was barking orders at everyone as they walked through the small groups of people and also because she didn’t want to appear to nosey. Besides, she’d probably learn more just by listening in on others, and if she remained open enough to this, they’d let her see most of their community anyways.

They walked into the main building and then into a maze of corridors that Negan easily had memorized. With most of the groups people gone, Negan started to talk about the saviors all on his own, mentioning some of the people they’d passed and how everyone had a job in the community. Clementine had noticed some younger people, even one girl that couldn’t have been much older than Clementine herself.

“I’m surprised you have kids here.”

“Of course! I fucking love kids! Doesn’t mean they get a god damn free pass though. No, you work for points and points get you food and anything else you need. But I ain’t going to kick them out just cause they’re not a fucking adult yet.”

“And sick people?”

“Jesus, I’m still not going to kick the sorry sons of bitches out. I mean, they’re gonna get jack shit if they can’t afford to do anything but assuming they haven’t been an absolute piece of shit and have some sorry fucker who cares about them, then that fucker can work for points to keep them going and get them back on their feet. We can’t just let dead weight keep the community down but what would be the fucking point if we didn’t try and save everyone?” Negan looked down at her curiously. “You come across a community that didn’t allow that kind of shit?”

“Kind of. I mean, they’d already destroyed themselves by the time we got there,” admitted Clem. “But you got a pretty good idea of what kind of people they were from what they left behind. Their list of rules were printed everywhere.”

“Well, don’t get the wrong fucking idea. I keep god damn order in this place. You fucking steal shit and pow! You’ll get a punishment to match your piss poor behavior. You kill a member of this community, you better have a good fucking reason. But you gotta understand, if you starve in my community it’s because you’re a yellow livered piece of shit. Either you didn’t work for the points or you spent them on shit that didn’t matter or you wasted what you had on someone else to the point you weren’t looking out for yourself. Or you’re such a piece of shit that everyone hates you and wouldn’t lift a finger to save your fucking skin,” laughed Negan. “But don’t you worry. You’ll soon figure out how the hell this all works here.”

“So I take it I’ll be working to payback Javi’s medicine and the cost for both of us to stay here.”

“You really are a loyal little shit aren’t you? I figured once he was back on his feet he could start contributing here and there, but if you think we need to baby the shit out of him we can do that too. I imagine you’ve had to anyways. Otherwise it doesn’t make a god damn lick of sense how someone on their death bed can look that hot.”

Clementine quickly made a face.

“Ah come on, you may be fucking young but I bet—”

“I get it!” Clem quickly got out before Negan could finish his thought. “But he’s like…he’s almost like a brother now. Any thought like that is just gross.”

Negan laughed good and hard, clapping her on the back again. “Fair enough kid. I’ll keep the talk to a minimum when you’re around.”

“Thanks,” Clementine dryly responded as they finally stopped at one room.

“Molly, you ready for your first fucking patient?” asked Negan as he barged in without knocking. Clementine assumed he must have barked orders at someone to tell her to get ready or maybe they’d actually passed her on their leisurely stroll in. Clementine had been more focused on looking at the physical structures than the people.

“Yes-oh god! You’re just a kid!”

Clem resisted a groan. It had been a while since anyone had treated her like this.

“This badass little lady has been surviving out there for years by herself,” Negan corrected. “And she’s my new fucking friend so take good fucking care of her, got it?” There was just barely a hint of a threat in his words.

“Of course Negan.”

“Good. I’ll have someone come around by the time you’re done,” Negan said.

Finally he was gone, the door closing behind him. Clementine took it as a good sign that he’d left her alone despite knowing full well that she could have taken on this woman, even in her condition. Of course, Negan had also probably known she wouldn’t do much until she knew Javi was safe. It was a delicate balance they were both walking.

“My name’s Molly,” the woman repeated. She gestured for Clementine to come closer. “What’s yours?”

“Clementine. Negan said I’m your first patient?” she hesitantly asked.

“Oh! Not really just-it was more a joke than anything. I um…I usually work as an assistant to Dr. Carson with more minor things. But we had a scuffle with a nomadic group recently so Carson has them to deal with and I believe your friend as well?”

She nodded.

“Yeah, so I’m to take care of you and decide what you’re fit enough for.” Molly paused as she looked at Clem’s leg before she finally said, “I’m going to need you to take off your pants, if you can. I’ll need to clean the wounds and then check for any breaks.”

Clementine nodded in understanding. After taking off her shoes she had to do it carefully, some blood having dried to her pants and making parts stick. But after a few painfully slow minutes she succeeded. She then got onto the table that Molly gestured towards.

“What happened?”

“I fell off a bike. Ended up skidding on the pavement,” Clementine replied.

Molly nodded in understanding as she started to clean the wound. Clementine only made the smallest noises of discomfort, forcing herself to stay still even through the more painful parts.

“Well at least the scrapes are superficial. Nothing got stuck in your wounds and no bones are sticking out.” Molly cleaned her hands again, putting on a new set of gloves as she said, “This next part is probably going to hurt even more. Prepare yourself.”

Clementine nodded in understanding, tightening her grip on the table.

“Tell me when you feel it.”

“It?”

“You’ll know.”

Molly started carefully pressing into and around the scrapes. It all hurt, but Clementine immediately understood what she meant as she pressed into the area above her knee. “That! That fu…yeah that,” Clem gritted out.

Molly nodded and continued to feel around the area. Several painful, long minutes passed before she finally said, “You’re lucky. A splint should be enough while you’re walking around though I don’t think you should be going out on any hunting or scavenging missions for the next three weeks.”

“Three!?”

“Yes, and that’s non-negotiable,” Molly said, finally putting a hint of authority into her voice.

Three weeks cooped up in this place? Damn it, Clementine hoped they had some interesting jobs to distract her during that time. She stayed still as Molly bandaged the cuts. Clementine then carefully put her ripped and bloody pants back on, she’d have to see about getting new ones.

Molly was getting the splint ready just as the door opened again. Clementine strained her head back, seeing one of the men that had been with Negan out on the road.

“Dwight, you’re just in time. Just let me finish this and you can take her back up to Negan.”

“What about my friend?” Clementine quickly asked.

“You can ask Negan about that. I’m just here to take you to him,” replied Dwight. Just in his look alone, it was easy to tell he didn’t understand why Clementine was there, nor did he want her there. However, his loyalty to Negan apparently overruled his personal opinions as he didn’t say anything else.

 Clementine focused back on the splint as she winced in discomfort.

“Normally I’d say it would be fine to take this off at night when you sleep. However, it’s not as simple as something you might have gotten from before. Come see me or Dr. Carson whenever you need to get it off for a bit or if you think you need it readjusted.”

“Understood,” Clementine replied, carefully getting back onto her feet. She started to put her boots back on as Dwight growled out, “Hurry up.”

She bit back a retort as she laced them up and fully stood up.

“And if you need anything else, you can still come to me. Really, any time,” Molly quickly said as Dwight gestured for her to get out of the room.

“I will,” Clementine promised as she carefully walked along.

Dwight didn’t say anything as they walked and Clementine didn’t try to find anything out for him. He seemed a good deal less friendly and Clementine decided to wait to talk to Negan first. Instead, she just focused on watching their surroundings, slowly getting a picture of the place. They eventually went up a set of stairs, Dwight only making a noise of annoyance considering it did take Clementine longer. When they got to the top and came to a door, only for Dwight to suddenly stop.

“What—”

“Just hurry the hell on in,” he grumbled, quickly turning and leaving.

Clementine didn’t understand but slowly walked forward anyways. She knocked on the door, figuring it was safer than just waltzing on in.

“Well fucking look at you. All polite and shit,” laughed Negan, seeming to appear out of nowhere as the door opened before Clementine’s fist had completely left it. “Molly treat you right?”

“Yeah I’m as good as can be.”

“Good. Come on in.”

Negan put an arm around her shoulders again, dragging her into the room. Clementine looked around, not too surprised by how nice the place was. Or at least was in the process of becoming. It was obvious the Saviors weren’t some form of a democracy and it made sense being leader would have its advantages. What she didn’t quite expect were the two women lounging on some couches.

“So Dwighty boy got his damn panties in a twist and booked it when you came up, huh?”

“Um, something like that.” Clementine noted one of the women perked up at the name before she quickly looked away. They went into a different room though, what seemed to be Negan’s personal bedroom, where Negan finally let go of her and gestured for her to sit down on a couch. She did so and immediately asked, “Who were they?”

“Just my wives. Black haired one his Sherry. She used to be married to Dwight, hence why he gets fucking worked up now and then,” Negan said with a laugh.

“What deal do they get?”

“Smart little shit, aren’t you?”

“I mean, Sherry at least looks fit,” Clementine replied. “The other one couldn’t lift a sword or metal pipe or bat to save her life.” It was the honest truth. She clearly wasn’t a fighter. Barely even a survivor. How the hell was she still alive?

“Well you see, that’s the deal. You agree to be my wife, you agree to cut off ties with any husbands or god damn boyfriends and be loyal, and you get this nice, comfortable life.”

“Their choice?”

“Of course it’s their fucking choice. No fucking fun if all parties aren’t in god damn agreement,” Negan replied. “Now, important shit, what did Molly say about the leg?”

“I’ll have to be careful and keep this splint on it for about three weeks. She suggested I don’t go outside the walls.”

“Guard duty it fucking is then. You can also help Fat Joey with some of the inventory,” Negan replied.

“And what about Javi?”

“God damn, we haven’t done anything with him you know?”

“Sorry but I have to confirm it with my eyes.”

“Right, right. This is your first damn day,” chuckled Negan. “Can’t expect you to just be on board with everything. Can I?”

“So I can see him?”

“Yes, but then straight to a guard post with you, agreed?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Clementine supplied.

“Good, let’s get this show on the road then.”

As Clementine got up and Negan began to guide her again, she added, “So what about all the rules or whatever? Anymore I should know about?”

“Rules? Oh, right. Just be a damn descent person. It’s not that fucking hard,” laughed Negan. “Just think of shit like the ten commandments if you need a god dam layout, but it gets about as fucking simple as that. Now, I’ll have you paired up with Arat. Got it? She’ll tell you when dinner is today and show you to your quarters and all that shit. You’ll be under her division so you’ll get most of your orders from her or one of her underlings. Got it?”

Clementine nodded.

“See? That’s why I fucking like you. Not afraid to ask questions but when you understand shit you don’t have to be told twice. I gotta tell you, it’s a fucking nice break from some of the dumbasses I’ve been dealing with,” said Negan.

“You like that? It seems to me everyone else is terrified to question you at all.”

“And damn right they should be! A little fear goes a long way but it doesn’t make up for fucking respect. And respect you gotta learn and deserves a healthy amount of questioning if you get my drift. You just haven’t seen me with my top lieutenants. Or the good doctor. I sure as shit ain’t a surgeon so I trust him to do what he needs to do.”

“And who are the lieutenants?”

“Arat is one of them. Simon you met on the road, the one with that fucking ridiculous ass mustache, Josh, Connor, and Isabelle. Typically if you need something from me, you go through them first. In your case, Arat is your go to.”

Clementine nodded in understanding as Negan finally slowed and came up to a door.

“Now let’s see about your friend.”

* * *

The moment gun fire had occurred, Javi had completely collapsed. His mind hadn’t been able to figure out who it was, what had happened to Clem, anything. The world had just gone black and Javi had figured that was it. Though his belief in an afterlife had faltered after the end of the world, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d see his dad again, his mom and his uncle. Maybe David would be there. He hoped Kate and the kids wouldn’t though. Even after all those months, he’d continued to hold onto some small hope that they were still making it.

But then bits and pieces started to bleed through the black.

Javi just barely felt arms and hands grabbing him. But they didn’t tear and he didn’t feel any teeth ripping into his neck. He was moved, picked up. Flashes of unfamiliar faces came and went. None of the details managed to stay with Javi on the few occasions his eyes actually opened. They slipped shut almost immediately afterwards.

There were too many people and too much color for it to be purgatory. He was in too much pain for it to be Heaven and not enough for it to be Hell. So he was alive but for how much longer? He was cold and hot all in one as his body pulsed in pain. He was weaker than he’d ever been and was starting to wonder if he was just delaying the inevitable.

But then Clem’s voice drifted towards him and in the dark it was the one thing Javi managed to hold onto. He grasped at it, the one reason left to keep him going now. God he was tired and there was a small part of him that wanted to just drift off. They’d been surviving but what was next? What afterwards?

So far neither had come up with a concrete answer. However, he couldn’t just abandon Clementine. So he held onto the whispers of her voice that drifted back his way as he was jostled about and the pains flared and went at unpredictable intervals.

Then even Clem’s voice disappeared again. Several minutes passed without Javi knowing as he completely passed out again. When things started to filter in again, Clem’s voice wasn’t one of them though. Javi’s ears strained for it but it wasn’t there. Instead, voices upon voices came in, just a jumble of noise that mixed with their movements and the clanging of tools. Some type of community? They’d found one?

But Javi was too tired to care and he didn’t have Clem’s voice to hold onto. He fell asleep again. He just needed to rest, to rest just a little bit more, please…

“Young man, I’m going to need you to wake up for me.”

Javi really didn’t want to. However, he felt the person lightly hit him in the face several times. He really didn’t want that hit to get any harsher so he forced his eyes to crack open. They felt dry and he quickly blinked, getting used to the unnatural, inside light that he hadn’t experienced in a long while.

“Good, you’re conscious. That makes my job a great deal easier. What are your symptoms?”

“W-where…” Javi paused, his eyes slowing moving around, trying to figure out where he was. He was inside some place, an old fashioned light above him, but there weren’t any clues that could tell him more. He had no idea where the backpack was that he’d been carrying with all his stuff and weapons attached to it. That was important but it wasn’t the biggest question on his mind. “Clementine…”

“All questions will eventually be answered but until then, I need to do my job and that will be made easier if you answer my questions. Now, what are your symptoms?”

Javi focused back on the man, a doctor? He licked his lips, swallowing uneasily before he whispered, “Been difficult keeping much down.”

“Vomiting?”

Javi nodded.

“Any diarrhea?”

“Some.”

“Hmm, feverish too…” The man placed a hand on Javi’s forehead. “What else?”

“Some coughing. Sore…throat.”

“Hmm, likely due to the repeated vomiting.”

“Headaches,” added Javi.

“As to be expected. When did the symptoms start?”

“I-is it the…the same…”

“It is the same day that you were brought here. I believe it took less than an hour to transport you here.”

“T-then…ten.”

“Ten days?”

Javi gave a weak nod.

“And when did it grow more severe?”

“In past…six days.”

“Hmm, you’re lucky Negan took a liking to you for whatever reason. You wouldn’t have survived more than two days out there. And what accident occurred? I believe someone said something about a bike?”

Javi nodded. “Fell…fell off it.”

“Yes, that would explain the scrapes. Your left arm is broken too. Hmm, yes…so first…”

The man started to murmur to himself, clearly not needing or expecting Javi to say anything else. Javi just stayed awake, doing the small tasks that the man asked of him and wincing and moaning in pain at the occasional interval. Javi got his temperature taken and his pulse. His reaction times and eyes were looked over too. The man then had him drink some water with some pills as he started cleaning up the scrapes that he could easily get at.

“I’m going to need you to sit up so we can get the jersey and shirt off.”

The man helped Javi and then threw the clothes to the side. Javi didn’t have any energy to tell him not to throw the jersey away as he was rested against the chair again. He shivered and had to resist the urge to curl into himself as the man continued to look him over and bandage him up. He gently pressed into Javi’s sides but when Javi didn’t really react beyond slight discomfort, he added, “Good. No broken ribs.”

Javi didn’t respond. He just continued to try and stay awake as he hoped Clementine was ok.

The man continued his work for a while, even managing to put Javi’s arm in a splint before he backed off and said. “I’m going to need you to stand up now. You can do that?”

Javi gave a shaky nod, stumbling just a bit but managing to get onto his feet. The man had him take off his shoes and then weighed him. He wrote down the information on a small clipboard before offering a blanket. Javi clumsily wrapped it around himself, using his good hand to hold onto it.

“Follow me.”

Javi slowly walked behind the man, occasionally leaning on the wall to catch his breath. Thankfully they didn’t go far though as they walked into a new and larger room. Javi supposed he’d come out of the check-up, maybe surgery, room whereas this was a proper ward. It was still small with beds closely packed together to try and make up for the lack of space. Only four people were there with varying degrees of physical wounds. It looked like they’d been in some kind of fire fight.

“Who the hell is this?”

“Negan found him on the way back from one of the outer patrols,” replied the man.

“And he brought this sorry son of a bitch back?” asked another. “Would have been more merciful to shoot him.”

The third one talked next. “Wait…hold on guys. Don’t he look familiar?”

“How the hell can he look familiar?” asked the second.

“Hey Carson!” cried the first. “I think you need to come over and look at John’s fucking head again.”

The two of them laughed with John pouting as the fourth continued to read his book, dead silent.

The man, Carson apparently, guided him to the farthest bed. He had him sit down and pulled up more sheets over Javi as he lay back on the propped up pillows. Javi slightly adjusted himself to make room for his splinted arm.

“Now, the first step is going to be to make sure you don’t get anymore dehydrated. The pills that you took earlier will have to be taken every morning for the next couple of days. I’ll administrate that and I’ll have to write up a meal plan in order to—”

“Dr. Carson!”

Javi looked over, immediately sitting up straighter once he saw Clementine besides the man who had just shouted. She quickened her unsteady pace, going to gently hug Javi which he quickly returned as best he could with one arm.

“Thank you,” whispered Clem, soft enough that the others couldn’t hear.

“For what?”

“For not leaving me,” Clem murmured before finally backing up.

Of course, Javi hadn’t had much say in whether or not he was actually going to leave her. However, he was still going to say the feeling was mutual only the man that had just come in cried out, “Fucking twenty-five! I gotta say, fucking weird to have a professional ballplayer like you show up at my front door.”

“I told you I knew who it was—”

“Fuck off.” The other patients continued to softly squabble behind Clementine and this new character.

Javi decided to focus on him as he slowly said, “I didn’t so much as show up as…as was dragged to your front door. I think.”

The guy laughed, clapping Clem on the shoulder. “You two and your fucking humor. I fucking love it! I’m Negan by the way. Welcome to the Sanctuary.”

“Sanc…”

 _I’ll explain it later,_ mouthed Clem.

“Uh, thanks. I…I mean that. I would have…been dead, otherwise.”

“Well no shit slugger! Jesus, imagine my position. Walkin’ on up, looking at this kid getting ready to blow your fucking brains out all over the pavement? Talk about a crazy fucking thing,” grinned Negan. “But the past is in the fucking past for a reason. I just came by to prove to your girl that we hadn’t fucking dumped your body in a river and to give you some of the basics?”

Javi cocked an eyebrow questioningly.

“Basically, use fucking common sense and have some god damn decency and you’ll fucking make it doe-eyes. Everyone here works for points so you’re going to have a big fucking back log you’ll have to work through after this though the kid certainly plans to share the load. And I will hunt you down slugger if you try to sneak out on that shit and disappear once you can properly stand again,” Negan added. “But don’t worry, Clementine here made it clear as far as long term ideas go, you have to hash that shit out together before deciding to stay. I get that. Just know that once you’re able to, you are going to be a part of the community, at least for a bit and not some fucking pretty boy. Got it twenty-five?”

Javi’s head hurt from just how loud and how quick Negan had been talking. However, he only said, “Um…just…I just have one question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you always give people about five different nicknames in the course of a minute?”

“Glad to see you didn’t break his fucking funny bone Dr. Carson! What a fucking shame that would be!” Negan cried with another loud laugh that had Javi wincing.

Just then the door opened and Javi watched a woman come in.

“Great. Arat, here’s your new subordinate,” Negan said. “Time to get to work Clementine.”

“Could I just—”

“You’re starting on the day shift which means it’s time for you to fucking work,” Negan cut in, his voice not quiet harsh but still firm. “You want some leisure time, you can squeeze that in tonight before you need to sleep or you can fucking earn it. Got it?”

Clementine nodded.

“Good. Arat will show you around. Get moving.”

Clementine quickly hugged Javi once more. “I’ll come around as soon as I get a chance.”

“No rush Clem. Stay safe.”

“And you try to get better,” she replied, turning around and following Arat out of the room.

At the same time, Negan said, “Doctor, don’t these patients need to get some god damn exercise in before this day is out?”

“An excellent idea,” Dr. Carson responded.

One of the men tried to argue with a shouted, “Hey—” but he was quickly cut off by Carson as he ordered the people around and forced them out of bed and out of the room. It seemed at least in this setting, the doctor was in charge.

But turning to Negan, it was equally obvious he was the architect here. And he had just ordered some alone time with Javi.

Unlike Clementine, Javi didn’t have much experience dealing with people like this. He hoped to god he wouldn’t screw things up and kind of wished Clementine was with him still to help guide him.

“So Javier Garcia…why the hell did they kick you out again?”

“I was betting on my own games,” Javi replied. Though he’d been pretty ashamed of that before, and even more ashamed by the fact that his getting caught had bothered him more than the action itself, with the world having ended betting on one’s own games was trivial information now. Even sick though, Javi had his own questions and said, “What did you do before?”

“Oh no, that’s not how it works,” chuckled Negan, “though I appreciate the attempt. Now Javier, Clementine told me jack shit about you besides that you’ve been running together for a few months. So, what’s your story?”

“Why do you care?”

“Honestly? I fucking don’t. Not about the details or your boohoos or who you fucking lost. We all lost people, big fucking whoop,” Negan replied, the humor leaving his voice. “But whether you say the straight up truth or dance around the subject or lie, it doesn’t matter. The point is that whatever you say gives me an idea of what kind of person you are and I need to know that in order to keep the Sanctuary safe. So, what’s your story?”

Javi hesitated, immediately wanting to ask what Clementine had already said to him. However, that definitely wasn’t going to be the answer Negan was looking for. Javi did think about straight up lying for a brief second. However, he’d only known Negan for a few minutes and he hadn’t seen any of the community. He couldn’t deduce what the man actually wanted to hear. Maybe he should just be honest.

“I lost my family.”

“We all have.”

“I lost _everyone_.”

When Negan didn’t respond, Javi continued.

“I lost my mom and dad and uncle and brother all on the day it happened. Like that, they were gone and suddenly I had my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew to take care of.” Negan got up and got some water which he offered to Javi. Javi gratefully took it, knowing he’d probably be talking longer than Dr. Carson would have suggested. “We traveled together, always moving. There…there were others but I never had a group, nothing outside my family. The philosophy was keep moving. Keep moving and we’d be safe and then…

“Then we came in contact with a less than friendly group. I managed to buy my family some time to hide or even get away but I was taken captive. Clem, she…she indirectly saved me. She needed a working vehicle and I supposedly had one so we struck up a deal. But shit…it got in the way. We weren’t able to make it back in time and I…I haven’t seen them since-where are my things!” Javi’s voice jumped up a desperate octave, cracking and hurting his throat as he leaned forward.

“Jesus Christ! We dragged that shit here too. What the fuck does it matter?”

“Th-there…” Javi swallowed uneasily. “I just…there’s a cassette player in there. It’s…it’s the last thing of any of my family that I have.”

“Well don’t start freaking the fuck out Javier. Your shit will probably get moved to wherever Clementine’s been assigned to sleep.”

“So…so like you aren’t going to just…just throw it away because it’s useless?”

“Just because it’s a fucking dictatorship doesn’t mean I’m going to make everyone live like fucking moles in the Earth! You can keep whatever shit you want as long as it doesn’t cause risk to the group and you know you can’t sit on your ass all the live long day and you gotta do some work.”

Javi took a careful sip of water as he nodded in understanding. “So…so what did you learn about me?”

Negan laughed good and hard. “That you’re too fucking trusting! Fuck, I can see now why the little firecracker had to save your ass.”

“I didn’t think a fight was necessary if…if things could be talked out.”

“Didn’t?”

“Clem and I…let’s just say I’ve realized it’s sometimes better now to shoot first and ask questions later.”

Negan patted Javi’s knee hard. “So you’re not as fucking soft as you appear Javier. It’s been a while since we had some good fucking surprises. Glad to see you and the little lady are so full of them.” Negan stood up. “I look forward to seeing you in action once you’re back on your fucking feet. I saw that metal bat of yours. Not that anything could fucking beat Lucille here but I fucking look forward to seeing that shit go pow!”

From his gesturing, Javi figured that Negan’s own bat was Lucille. He almost asked why the name but decided Negan probably wasn’t going to answer anyways. Instead, he simply said, “My friends just call me Javi. Javier is too formal.”

“Ah, we’re great fucking friends already?”

“I mean—”

“If we aren’t, we sure as shit soon will be! Welcome aboard Javi.”

And with that, Negan walked away and out of the room, whistling and swinging Lucille at his side. All Javi could do was blink in shock and surprise, not quite sure what to make of the man. He was full of himself, that much was clear. But there was something human there, deep inside him. Javi just doubted that it ever came out in public.

It took only a few seconds later for the others to come back in, like Carson and the other patients had just been waiting right outside the door. It gave Javi zero time to himself as the doctor hurried back over and started filling him in on what he’d need to expect for his recovery process, what the healing time for his arm was going to be, and things like that.

Basically, Javi was probably going to be stuck in that bed alone for at least a week, probably closer to two. He knew that would probably get old fast but for the moment, Javi was just thankful he was getting the chance to rest against something that wasn’t the cold ground or a rock. When Carson finally walked away, Javi immediately fell asleep.

* * *

Clementine hadn’t said anything when she’d walked off with Arat and the woman hadn’t either. Her face was like a stone. There was nothing you could gleam from it and Clem doubted she wanted any idle chitchat.

A few people stared as they walked by but whereas Negan had been constantly interacting with the people, either asking them questions or vice versa, people seemed more content in just getting out of Arat’s way and letting her do her own thing. Everyone knew her and no one wanted to mess with her. Clementine wasn’t sure if being under her was going to be better or worse because of this.

They went to the outskirts of the factory and as they came up to the first gate, Arat finally spoke. “This wall is still being fortified. The one outside it works for small groups of the dead but it wouldn’t hold back a herd. We’ve started putting up some spikes a ways out from the outer fence to further protect ourselves. People are assigned to clean that area regularly. You’ll probably have to do that one day.”

Arat opened up the gate so that way they were walking in the in-between area with the chain link fence in front of them. She was silent for a moment, stopping at a particular area before talking again.

“This is your watch. I’m assuming you’re smart enough to not use a gun on any walker that just comes near.”

In response, Clementine pulled out the knife that she kept strapped to her leg. Though not a smile, Arat seemed to approve.

“You’ll monitor this area from there.” She pointed. “To there. Yell if you need help. Don’t go outside the fence looking for trouble. You’ll know when the next shift is coming because everyone else will be heading back inside. Follow them to the mess hall. I’ll meet you there and show you where you’re sleeping.”

Clementine nodded in understanding and Arat quickly left. Clem looked from side to side, catching sight of two other people around the border who were keeping watch in their area. Deciding she was going to make a good first impression, Clementine carefully paced along her area. She only got close to the fence when a walker did too so that she could stab it in the skull. Otherwise she kept a safe distance, just going back and forth.

The time alone allowed her to think on Javi and just how close he’d come to death. She’d thought for sure that she was going to have to kill him and then it would be back to wandering around on her own. If that had happened, it would have just confirmed the growing feeling inside her that everything she came in contact with got hurt because of her. She wasn’t suicidal, at least she didn’t think so. But god, it had made her feel so lost, so confused on what to do. People and groups were either dangerous or they hurt you in the end.

But what was the point in going when there wasn’t someone there to make you laugh, to simply enjoy a moment with in this hell of a world? She’d tried to be on her own, to broken and angry over what had happened with AJ and the New Frontier. But then Javi had come along and had reminded her on what the point of surviving was.

Yet just surviving still only got you so far.

And now they were with the Saviors and Clementine couldn’t help but feel conflicted about the group. It was only because of the group that Javi was alive now. There were pros to sticking together. You could settle, get a more consistent supply of food, have a farther reach in scavenging while still having a safe place to return to.

If something like this happened again, Javi getting sick or maybe Clem next time, they probably wouldn’t get so lucky being out on the road again. Just running probably wasn’t the solution. But that didn’t mean this group was either.

Clem would just have to wait and see how her opinion of the place formed before she made any more concrete decisions. And she still needed to properly talk to Javi about his thoughts on the whole thing to.

She thought about this and more as she carefully went back and forth, looking out at the forest and road in front of her. Thankfully her first watch was a relatively quiet one. Like Arat had said, it was obvious when the next round of people started to filter in and Clementine could see some people walking back around to get inside.

Clementine did the same and as other people neared her, it became clear that news travelled fast in the still growing community.

“Damn, you really are just a kid.”

“So Negan did bring someone back!”

“Shit, you’re small. Can you actually do anything with that knife?”

Clem answered the questions and responded to the comments quick and curtly, making it clear she wasn’t in the mood to have a proper full blown conversation. She kept her head held high and spoke clearly. Even if her and Javi didn’t stay long, making her maturity clear was important in establishing her place in the community. She wasn’t going to just be some deadweight they had to look after. She could hold her own easily.

When it became clear that she wasn’t in a talking mood, most of the inquirers backed off. She managed to get to the mess hall type area and followed foot like everyone else. When she got to the front of the line, the man handing out food said, “What did you do?”

“Guarded the outer walls,” Clementine immediately responded. As the man gave her a small but still descent enough portion, she added, “Is this the only way you make sure people do their work for food?”

“No, there are multiple ways to keep tabs. But in this case, I don’t need them. I’ll know if you lie to me,” the man replied, the threat clear in his voice. Clem suspected even if she did successfully lie to him, he’d have those other ways of keeping tabs to discredit her. “Move along.”

Clem went and purposefully sat by herself. She’d start to mix and interact with everyone else tomorrow. For now though, she was just hungry, her leg still hurt, and she wanted to go to bed as soon as possible.

Thankfully no one approached her except for Arat just as she was finishing up. “Everyone except for special cases, lieutenants, or Negan have to share the rooms. Come on.”

Clementine followed her without a word, deciding that if she needed to know anything else Arat would tell her. She stayed silent and eventually came to a small space that just barely fit about eight people. One of the beds had hers and Javi’s things on it.

“A wash area and bathroom are just down the corridor. You need them now?”

“No.”

“Then go on in. You’ll get your orders in the morning.”

Clementine nodded in understanding and walked up to her assigned bed as Arat left. No one else had come in yet, probably because this was their assigned free time to do what they wanted before going to bed. Clem thought about trying to find her way back to the med ward or even asking thought about asking someone else. However, she realized just how exhausted she was after moving hers and Javi’s things to under the bed and sat down.

She let out a large yawn as she lay against the itchy sheets. Javi was probably asleep anyways and it probably wouldn’t do any good to wake him now. Clem decided she’d go and see him tomorrow before she carefully rolled over and fell asleep.


	3. Opinions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the kudos! I think this story will end up having about nine chapters give or take some. A massive thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Javi didn’t get to know the three fellow patients very well as they left after only two days. He only really got their names, John, Aman, and Three. From what little else he’d been told, Javi had figured out everyone was kind of assigned to subgroups and under specific people and those three were part of the same one.

As far as Dr. Carson went, the man was completely professional. Trying to make small talk with him was like trying to discuss the day’s events with a rock. The conversation wasn’t exactly riveting.

The fourth guy who’d been reading a book that day actually wasn’t a man. Javi just hadn’t gotten a good look at her face and had assumed. Her name was Katy and she probably wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon. Something had been off about her liver and as she’d gotten sicker and sicker, the last resort had been to surgically look into it. Sadly, Carson had found a tumor. He’d removed it promptly and upon examining some of the tissue, had confirmed it to be cancerous.

Without the proper medical equipment, Carson wasn’t able to determine if they’d been too late though. Honestly, she’d probably die anyways despite the attempt to save her life. The real question was just how long it would take. Would it be eight days from now or five years?

Katy had explained all that because Javi had stared at her pretty often but had also felt too uncertain on whether he should ask the questions that were burning at the back of his mind. After Katy had broken the ice first, Javi had felt a little easier about talking to her and had eventually asked, “What do you plan to do if the cancer’s still there?”

“I’ll go back to work for as long as I can. When I reach a point where I can’t work anymore, then I’ll say goodbye and shoot myself.”

“Oh,” whispered Javi.

“I’ve already accepted it,” Katy said with a shrug. “No need to feel bad on my account. I’m at least not dying tomorrow assuming Carson sewed up my insides right.”

“Fair enough,” murmured Javi, not quite able to get behind her sense of humor.

Alternatively, she hadn’t seemed too interested in his own story. She had confirmed that Javi was Javier Garcia, the baseball player, and that Negan had found him but otherwise hadn’t seemed to care about the smaller details. Despite not being a talkative person though, she was at least more interesting than Carson.

As for Clementine, she had checked in on him in the past two days, usually when she was going to see Dr. Carson or his assistant to look at her wounds and leg. However, it wasn’t until Javi’s third day there that Clementine actually had some time for them to really talk.

She came while Javi was carefully eating the food Dr. Carson had left for him for dinner.

Katy and Clementine both nodded to each other. They hadn’t really talked yet though Javi liked to imagine they might like each other. Apparently Clem was taking her spot underneath Arat which had led to a quick conversation on that. There hadn’t seemed to be any hard feelings though and for now, Katy decided to just focus on her book. Clementine took a folding chair that was against the wall and quickly set it up besides Javi.

“You run here from the mess hall?” he asked with a small smile.

“Yeah, I think this is the first day where I don’t feel like immediately passing out once it’s over,” she sighed. “I wanted to take advantage of it and really talk to you.”

“Please do, watching paint dry is more interesting than talking to Dr. Carson,” groaned Javi. Katy snorted from her bed. “So what’s your opinion on this place?”

“It’s…efficient,” Clem slowly said.

“That could be a good or bad thing,” replied Javi.

“I mean, Negan definitely runs everything. And he’s pretty narcissistic.”

Another small chuckle escaped Katy’s lips though she didn’t look up from her book.

“But he’s smart enough to know he can’t do everything on his own. His hierarchy is somewhat sound. The ones I’ve met at least seem loyal and the choices make sense.”

“Sooo…”

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about this ever since you got sick,” sighed Clem. “If we go back on the road, we risk running out of supplies. We risk not having a place to stay safe if something happens to one of us.”

“But you’re not completely sold on this community,” Javi finished for her.

“They’re not like some of the ones I’ve come in contact with,” admitted Clementine. “Negan’s strict but he’s not completely unreasonable. I’ve come across some people where they would have killed us and taken our things rather than asking us to join considering the state we were in. But it definitely isn’t a democracy which…I don’t know. In some ways that’s also a good thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes the worst thing you can do is being unable to decide on anything. I’ve seen that happen too, groups getting torn apart because they were more focused on arguing their side than the encroaching danger. That problem is obviously diminished when there’s only one declared leader.”

“But what kind of leader is Negan?”

“That is the question.” Clementine shook her head. “I will say the respect with his lieutenants seems to go both ways. Again, not really a democracy but he definitely listens to them and utilizes their strengths. This place is also more than just surviving. There’s a certain level of control that’s important but Negan’s not trying to make everything the exact same. He’s trying to expand and build with this and…I don’t know.”

“If you want to go back on the road, we will. You don’t have to ask me twice.”

“What? So now this all comes down to me?”

“No! I’m not saying that. I just…I trust your judgment Clem. If you think something good could come out of this then I’m with you.”

“Well what’s your take?”

“It’s hard to say. I haven’t seen much,” chuckled Javi. “But they’re helping me which is something and they’ve treated you fine, right?”

“Yeah. I mean, there are some dicks around here but that’s just how it is no matter where you go.”

Javi nodded in agreement. “I mean, I’d like to see what actually happens if someone doesn’t follow the rules, if you can even call them that. Negan didn’t really go into detail about his opinions on punishments and what not.”

“Same here.”

“But if Negan actually upholds his side the way he says he does and isn’t like, really really hypocritical…well…I have gotten pretty tired of running.”

Clementine softly agreed. “I really didn’t want to put myself in a situation like this again. But I’ve also been thinking, what’s the point of surviving in this world if communities aren’t made? Otherwise it’s just going to be a lot of lonely people dying one by one.”

“Yeah, not that I don’t love your company—”

She playfully pushed him, though she still acted mindful of his physical state.

“But it is nice being around other people. And just knowing that we’re not going to leave this place anytime soon… Jesus, I didn’t realize just how anxiety ridden that was, not knowing if we’d have a place to sleep for a night or not.”

Clementine nodded. “Maybe…maybe it’s time we try and change.”

“And this community does seem relatively new.”

“They’re definitely still figuring things out. Maybe we’ll have a chance to influence it somehow. But I don’t think we should make a definitive decision until you can involve yourself more and make your own opinion.”

“Yeah, that sounds reasonable,” Javi replied. “So, tell me about everything you’ve been doing so far. It’s nice being stuck in bed but I’m sure I’m going to be tearing my hair out pretty soon from boredom.”

* * *

On Clementine’s second day at the Sanctuary, she got more involved. It was made easier by the fact that from the moment she woke up, everyone was moving. Either someone was ordering someone else around or getting ordered themselves. She’d slept through the night without being disturbed once, meaning it was only now that she was meeting what apparently was her primary group under Arat.

In the first few minutes between opening her eyes, putting on her jacket, and tying her shoes, Clem learned a lot. Most of it came simply because the people were so damn curious about her. Their attitudes alone were promising. They weren’t used to outsiders but it wasn’t uncommon. One man in the group had only joined about four months ago. The way they acted made it seem that they were honestly comfortable in this place and didn’t feel forced in anyway. Clementine would have to wait a bit to figure out if this was really true, but she’d grown better at reading people over the years and so far that was her verdict.

During the introductions, Clem also learned that one of the people that was in the med ward with Javi was a woman named Katy. Clem had taken her place, not that anyone seemed to mind too much. With the surgery still recent and the diagnosis, they’d all known that she wasn’t going to be able to come back to active duty any time soon. They’d needed a new member for a while, though one interestingly said, “I’m surprised Negan put you on active duty. He never does that with new people.”

“What do you mean active?”

“Only a section of us regularly do sweeps of the area, watch the walls, go out on hunts and scavenging or supply run type missions. Most stay here. They’re builders or sew up clothes or cook or clean or whatever the hell else we need. A few only guard the walls but if you’re on active duty then you’re involved in that and pretty much any of the dangerous shit. It’s just fucking surprising. Especially considering you can’t do much with your leg.”

“You should be thankful this slows me down,” Clementine automatically replied. “Otherwise you’d have to explain to Negan why your performance suddenly got upended by a teenager.”

“Oooh!”

One older woman didn’t look so amused, grumbling about her attitude, but the rest laughed, one clapping her on the back and saying, “You’re alright kid.”

“It’s pronounced Clementine actually, but thanks,” she smirked, leading to more laughter and apparent approval.

God she’d forgotten what it felt like to be around others.

Though for the most part the team seemed to automatically approve of her, Clementine found out their approval was connected to Arat’s own. Apparently if Arat hadn’t wanted Clem in her group, she could have argued Negan’s rule and, considering she was a lieutenant, probably won. Because of Negan’s interest with Clem and Javi, he likely would have moved Clem underneath another lieutenant but she marked it as a good sign that the lieutenants had their own powers when it came to the main leader. She was also glad to know there was a form of automatic respect already set up between her and Arat since she hadn’t been able to gleam much from her yesterday.

The work they had to be doing, though not impossible, started to make the days blur together as she went out and worked. When getting bandages changed or having her splint readjusted, she visited Javi, but for the most part it felt non-stop.

That was good though as it only added the information Clementine was receiving about the community. For example, it didn’t take long for Clem to confirm Negan wasn’t a sit on his ass type leader. If there was a serious enough argument, he’d often get the final word but his job wasn’t just to order others around. As made clear by how he’d found them, he went out on scavenging missions too. He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and honestly seemed to enjoy that more than leading half the time. But as far as leading went, he made sure to be involved in all other aspects, even the boring bits.

Some of those boring bits Clem also had to deal with for now. Despite being a part of Arat’s group, Clem could only perform their usual guard duties due to her leg. Her other duties involved helping Fat Joey with inventory counts and sometimes handing out supplies.

Fat Joey was another way that Clementine’s opinion on the community grew, at least a little bit. It showed that Negan’s model still supported those that weren’t natural survivors and weren’t good fighters. It tried to include as many people as possible with as many useful jobs as possible. It made it a proper community rather than everyone just focusing on living from day to day. The wives thing was a big loophole but it was their choice to not get their hands dirty. Personally, Clem couldn’t understand it but she wasn’t really interested in that small part either.

In regards to Fat Joey, Clementine quickly decided she liked him. He had a good sense of humor and had taken and run with the name Fat Joey rather than letting it get him down. Though a bit slow in some ways, he was good with numbers, making it make sense that he was in charge of the inventory.

In between her work, she didn’t have much opportunity for free time but that was more because she chose not to rather than being forced. Like Negan had said, if someone fell behind and screwed up, it was their fault. Not the community’s. Even if her and Javi chose not to stay, she knew Negan would keep to his word about them needing to pay back the resources they’d already taken. With that in mind, she did all she could without actually putting her healing time at risk.

Occasionally though, she did try to have proper, longer visits with Javi though, at least from time to time. Usually it was when she rushed through a meal and went straight to the med ward, or it just happened to be really early in the morning, but the day shift really got going.

During them, she made the most of each meeting. A lot of the times it was just her talking, filling Javi in on everything she’d been experiencing and the people she was meeting. It gave them both time to further discuss their growing and changing opinions on the Saviors while also distracting Javi from what was beginning to be some very boring days. Clementine was happy to have Javi bored out of his mind though considering how much better he was looking with each passing day. Color was finally coming back to his cheeks along with some of the weight he’d lost due to being so ill.

Despite her hesitance, things were going good and Clem even got to socialize with someone closer to her age. There were several older teenagers and a few young adults that had at least partially grown up in the apocalypse like Clem. One of the younger ones, at age sixteen, was Tory and she sat by Clem on her seventh day at the Sanctuary.

Clem had gotten used to sitting with her group simply because she had grown to know those people the most. In general, meal times were where the largest mixing of interactions occurred but Clementine always stuck with at least one of Arat’s men like a focal point. It was also a way for her to add credibility to herself when being introduced to others.

However, that particular day Arat’s team were going on a scouting mission. That meant Clem had to be left behind to do her guard duties or inventory. It also meant she didn’t have anyone she could automatically sit with which led to her meeting Tory for the first time.

Clem had planned to eat quickly and to do one of her longer visits with Javi only for the older girl to suddenly sit down.

“I have to say, it’s refreshing finally meeting a new kid. I’m Tory by the way.”

“Clementine.”

“So I’ve heard. A week in and still everyone keeps talking about you and the baseball player.”

“Oh?”

“Well we’ve only gotten three new members that have actually stuck around in the past eight months. And their story is always the same. They were with a group, usually the dead destroyed everything, got separated, and they’ve been wandering around for x amount of time,” replied Tory.

“Have any small groups joined?”

“Not recently. We had this group of five that were welcomed in near the start of us settling down here, about thirteen months ago, but they were simply trying to infiltrate and rob us,” replied Tory. “Two of our men died and some of our crap got stolen. One of the guys got away with it and disappeared. The rest were killed before escaping though.”

Clementine nodded in understanding, focusing on how Tory had talked about the event. “So you’ve been with the Saviors since the beginning?”

“Since before then! I was about eleven when my guardian and I came across this group. Negan had just recently joined to. Dwight had actually been the head of it but Negan took over pretty quickly and I mean, to be fair he’s a lot more authoritative.”

“Where’s your guardian now?”

“Oh…um. She uh…she died. Protecting me. It was right before we got to this factory,” murmured Tory.

“I know what that’s like.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

A sad smile graced Tory’s lips, understanding passing between the two girls. Clementine didn’t just automatically open up about Lee then and there, but a bond had already started to form between them with Tory’s admission.

Tory also turned out to be a good source of information, being even more open with Clementine than some of the adults. There were a lot of questions that Clem had slowly started to form about the community, some of which she’d have to ask Negan. But the most pertinent one by far was how they were keeping everyone fed so well and without a garden. She ended up asking Tory about that first.

“Oh, we get it from the Kingdom.”

“The Kingdom?”

“Hey, don’t look at me like I’m crazy! It’s an actual place,” chuckled Tory. “They’re a community to the south of us. Not long after we started to settle here one of the groups found it on a scouting mission. I’ve never been there but they’ve supposedly got these massive gardens and the leader calls himself King Ezekiel and I think his top men are even called knights or something.”

“Seriously?”

“Crazy, right?”

“Yeah that is…really weird,” Clem admitted.

“Well, they give us half of the food they make every two weeks and we protect them.”

Clementine doubted that was the full story as she hesitantly said, “And it’s a mutual agreement.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

At the time of the conversation, Clementine had simply nodded along, getting a couple of more details before changing the subject. However, she felt she finally had something bigger than little nitpicks that actually warranted a talk with Negan now.

It was on her tenth day at the Sanctuary that she went to Arat after she’d given everyone their orders. Arat simply looked at her, not bothering with questioning what she wanted.

“I need to speak with Negan.”

“I’ll see if I can make that happen.”

Arat had only waited a few more seconds to see if Clem had anything else to say before leaving and getting to her own duties. Clementine was both surprised and not surprised that it only took until that afternoon for Arat to get back with her. On the one hand, everyone was very busy trying to keep the community thriving and Negan arguably had the hardest job. However, Clementine hadn’t properly seen him since her first day so she imagined he was actually eager to hear if she and Javi had decided on staying or not. Clementine wondered if Negan had purposefully kept his distance because of that so that he could see what mattered and stood out to her.

When Arat told Clem, she added, “He said to go now. I’ll finish up your watch. You remember where his office is?”

“You mean his bedroom?”

“That’s what I said.”

Clementine snorted. “Yeah. I do.”

“Hurry then.”

 Clem left her post with a quick pace, only really slowing down once she got to the stairs as that was always more difficult with the splint still on. When she got to the top, she knocked just like before and just like before, Negan seemed to appear immediately.

“Firecracker! Good to fucking see you again,” Negan grinned, opening the door wider and letting her in.

This time he didn’t guide her anywhere, trusting her to follow.

They ended up sitting in the same places in his bedroom like last time as Negan said, “I hope you’ve come to tell me your membership is finally official.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the Kingdom.”

Negan laughed. “A hard fucking sell aren’t you?”

“I just like to know all the facts. From how people talk, it sounds like you trading resources for protection was an agreed upon deal. Is that true?”

Negan’s grin didn’t even waver as he easily replied, “No.”

Clem’s brow furrowed. “You’re not even going to try and lie?”

“Nope. What’s the fucking fun in that?”

“But you’ve lied to your men.”

“Wrong again Firecracker! If they danced around the damn subject, it’s because of who they were talking to,” Negan said, gesturing towards her to make his point.

“But why would you—”

“I’m not trying to sell you on some fucking fairytale! I do that and the moment you see shit as it really fucking is, you and Doe-Eyes will be gone! I don’t fucking want that,” grinned Negan. “I told you. It’s always more fucking fun when everyone involved wants to be there.”

“So what’s the actual deal with the Kingdom?”

“Well they can basically do whatever they fucking want. It’s still its own fucking community and I don’t want to deal with that shit. I have enough on my plate as is! They run their own fucking shit, same as usual. They just give us half of what they produce.”

“Do you actually protect them?”

“To be fair, they probably don’t fucking need it that much but we usually have a small team near there at all times. They can keep a lookout and communicate to me or the Kingdom’s men if shit is going down, the dead or otherwise.”

“Why not have your own gardens here? I’ve noticed you don’t.”

“Because I fucking care about my people and my people only. This agreement is more beneficial to them and allows my people to focus on other shit.”

“You don’t think of the Kingdom as part of the Saviors?”

“Well they don’t fucking think of it like that so why should I? I certainly toyed with the fucking idea of it being more cooperative but they weren’t fucking interested in that. They’d rather stay out in their shit place rather than move to our shit place,” Negan replied. “Listen, you and Javi showed up at my fucking front door and I’m giving you the opportunity to join if you god damn want. Others have gotten that offer. I’m sure you’ve met a few like that here, but trust me when I say the Kingdom is perfectly fucking happy staying in their god damn la-la land with kings and knights and shit. Besides, I’m not taking so much shit they’re fucking starving. What would be the fucking point of that shit? I even sent Carson over when some god damn bug was going around.”

“Because you didn’t want the main suppliers of your food source to die out,” Clementine finished.

“Well I certainly didn’t do it out of the goodness of my heart,” smirked Negan. “But that’s the kind of fucking world we live in. I’m trying to make it better but I got my own fucking people to look out for right now. If you please every-fucking-body then you get god damn nowhere. I’ve seen that shit happen so the first opportunity I had, I took fucking control and I kept those people alive.”

“You mean like Tory?”

Negan looked pleased that she knew of her. “Fucking exactly! Not everyone from that piss poor group made it, but I tell you a whole fucking lot more did than there would have been because I took control and led them here rather than staying in that same fucking spot because no one else wanted to fucking risk it. You can ask Tory if you don’t believe me.”

“How do I know she’ll tell the truth though? She lied to me about the Kingdom.”

“That’s because no matter how god damn friendly she got with you, you were still an outsider. If she knows that I was completely fucking open with you, then so will she and everyone else. Remember, I’m protecting my fucking own here and that’s exactly what everyone else is fucking doing. They’re waiting to see if you can be trusted with our way of life. Besides, you were smart enough to know something was off. You’re smart enough to realize if what she says is true or not.”

Clementine slowly nodded, her brain working quickly as she took everything in.

“But you fucking get it. Right? The world isn’t what it used to be and utopia doesn’t fucking exist anymore. For now, there’s always going to be a them and us scenario, and someone’s going to die and someone’s going to thrive.”

“I get that. Believe me, I do,” replied Clementine. “I know pleasing everyone isn’t possible. I’ve had to choose who lives and who dies before.”

“I fucking knew you had. Saw it in your eyes,” Negan said with a pointed look. “So, you ready to be a fucking Savior yet?”

Clem couldn’t help but smirk a little. “No.” Her still declining the offer was again, a test in and of itself of Negan’s generosity and his willingness to work with new people. And she also still wanted more information.

“Jesus, you are a fucking hard sell,” grinned Negan.

“Sure, but I might be a bit more agreeable if you let me see the Kingdom.”

“Oh really? Don’t you still have about a week and a half more time of being stuck inside the walls?” Negan asked, gesturing to the splint.

“Well considering how big the Kingdom’s garden sounds, I’m assuming you don’t have people just walk there to collect food.”

“Ha! Right you fucking are! Alright Clementine. I can have Arat lead the group that deals with the Kingdom next time. The pickup is supposed to happen two days from now. I’ll make sure you’re on the team but on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I want Doe-Eyes’ cassette player.”

“Wait-he told you about that?”

“Less told, closer to had a full blown fucking panic attack when he realized he didn’t know where the shit was. Told him all his shit would have been put with yours once I assigned Arat as your lieutenant. You still have it or you already give it to him?”

“I have it. We don’t have any actual cassettes for it so it’s just in his bag in my room. He just wanted to make sure it was still there,” Clementine slowly said. She looked at Negan curiously. “Are you trying to earn brownie points with Javi?”

“That obvious?” laughed Negan.

“Well there had to be a reason behind it. And I figured you don’t want it because you want to do something ‘out of the goodness’ of your heart.”

“God damn right. Gonna give it to me?”

“Are either Javi or I ever going to see it again?”

“Sure you fucking will! Come on Firecracker. Let’s see if I can fucking surprise you at all.”

Clementine rolled her eyes but replied, “So I give you that and I get to see the Kingdom with my own two eyes?”

“Yep.”

“Deal then. Just promise not to break it.”

“Fucking deal,” grinned Negan.

* * *

Clementine later confronted Tory about the Kingdom during dinner that day. To be fair, Tory seemed a little sheepish that she hadn’t been completely forth coming. However, she basically said what Negan had.

“I was just protecting my own, you know? I was worried that you’d cause trouble if you didn’t like what you heard.”

Clem actually laughed at that. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Wait? Really? But why?”

“You can’t just trust people anymore. You have to earn that now, more than you had to before. Besides, I can respect wanting to protect your own.”

“You know, if I weren’t seeing you in front of me right now, I’d think you were years older.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Clementine of course asked about Negan and what had happened in that first group. She watched Tory carefully, comparing her facial reactions to when she’d lied about the Kingdom. For the most part, it seemed like the honest truth Tory was trying to sell her.

As for everyone else, word seemed to spread quickly that she was going to the Kingdom for their next supply run. Clementine wasn’t sure who had first started talking though she couldn’t imagine it was Arat, the woman ever professional. Nevertheless, she could see the change in people at that. There had always been something holding them back, though Clementine had figured it was just because she wasn’t officially part of the Saviors.

It seemed that fact wasn’t too important. It was more important knowing how much she knew and understood of their community, and what her opinion was on it. Clementine was curious if anything else would change once she visited the Kingdom and came back.

Clem of course went and told Javi about her trip the next day. As for Negan, who had already come and taken the cassette player, Clem ultimately decided not to tell Javi. It would have just worried him. Instead, she focused on the details of the trip to the Kingdom, telling Javi she probably wouldn’t get a chance to see him tomorrow.

“Just promise to fill me in on it later.”

“Of course.”

* * *

Over the days, Javi had slowly started to do small bits of exercise as instructed by Dr. Carson. All the scrapes had healed and none were deep enough to properly scar which was good. And, with the regular rest, warmer bed, and consistent food, it seemed that the actual illness had all but completely left his system too. Now he just had to wait for his arm to fully mend and he could really start getting back into shape.

As he’d rested from day to day, Javi had started to talk more and more with Katy. Clem’s visits were always appreciated but they were usually shorter than he would have liked. Dr. Carson’s assistant, Molly, came in a few times to check on Javi, but she was never there long enough to actually strike up a conversation with.

That almost always left Katy. She was a woman of few words but once Javi started getting up the nerve to ask her things, he realized her curt answers weren’t her being rude or annoyed. It was just her preferred way of speaking and she didn’t bother with adding fluff to most of what she said.

Eventually, she finally seemed to find something she wanted to know about Javi. However, it wasn’t anything that Javi had expected, like asking about a past group or questioning his survival capabilities. Instead, she simply said, “You stumble over my name relatively often. There’s a second of hesitation. I assume you knew someone with my name as well.”

It was less a question and more of an extremely pointed observation. Technically Javi didn’t have to respond but it felt too awkward not to. By this point though, he wasn’t surprised that it was Katy of all people that picked up on it. It seemed to be the small things that she really focused on after all.

“Her name was actually Kate. I’m pretty sure if anyone called her Katy she’d hit him.” A small chuckle escaped Javi’s lips. It was tinged with less sadness than before. It was partially time that helped, but also that the world no longer allowed you to morn for however long you wanted to. You just had to learn to live with what happened and move on. Perhaps Javi had almost finished doing that. “She was my sister-in-law.”

“Ah. Cheated behind your sibling’s back, huh?”

“What?! No! No it-no it wasn’t like that! It’s just…I mean…maybe there was something there. But if there was, I waited too long. It was probably for the best we didn’t start anything anyways. The kids were more important.”

“Should I expect more stumbling over my name?”

“What? Uh…no. I mean, maybe a few more times but just um… Kate’s gone and I…I’ve accepted that. I’ve had to. I guess it’s just nice to talk about her again though. At least once more.”

Katy just grunted, really an even clearer sign that she really had nothing in common with Kate. It made Javi laugh which just had Katy giving him a quizzical look.

“Sorry, it’s nothing.”

And then Katy just shrugged and turned back to her book. That was usually how their conversations ended and Javi had already learned not to feel offended by it.

Otherwise, his main goal was just to get better and as quickly as possible. Thankfully Dr. Carson’s clear cut instructions kept Javi from over doing himself though and soon the days really bled into each other. Because of that, Clementine’s new job came as a surprise to him.

“Wait, so explain the Kingdom again?” Javi listened intently, a frown setting into his face. “Controlling another group like that? Maybe this place—”

“Hey, I’ll be checking it out the day after tomorrow so wait until then to form some opinions.”

“Seriously? But they’re being forced to trade their food for unneeded help?”

“I’ve seen a lot worse trades,” Clementine replied. “I’ll get as much information as I can but we shouldn’t just write off the Saviors on this alone.”

“Really?”

“I’ve lived with these people. I’ve gotten to know quite a few of them. The methods can be harsh but not unjust and people are free here. Negan’s looking out for his community. Yes, it’s at the expense of the other one but again, there’s worse ways to do this.”

“So basically, you’re saying there probably isn’t a single answer here that is the clear moral high ground,” sighed Javi.

“Not unless we want to go back onto the road. And even there we’ve done plenty of morally gray actions.”

Javi tiredly rubbed his eyes at the thought.

“I’ll tell you what I find when I go there, ok? And besides, you still need to actually get up on your feet and form your own opinions too. You can’t put everything on the fourteen year old,” Clementine said, ending it with a bit of humor.

“Yeah, I guess that is kind of shitty of me-hang on. I distinctly remember you telling me thirteen when I asked your age.”

“Well birthdays do happen,” Clem sarcastically responded.

“You didn’t tell me?”

“Don’t look so hurt over it,” Clem replied as she lightly patted his leg. “The day might have technically not passed but it’s around this time of year. Besides, you’d just gotten sick. I wasn’t going to tell you then.”

“Oh I don’t know, might have been a nice distraction from nearly dying.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

Javi laughed at that, a good, strong laugh that finally didn’t hurt. “You know mine’s coming up in about three months.”

“Look at you, officially an old man! Better start looking out for that gray hair.”

“Thirty-one is not that old!”

“Sure it isn’t,” Clem replied, quickly getting out of Javi’s reach. “I’ll try to see you tomorrow and if not then the day after the supply run, ok? Stay safe while I’m gone.”

“I’m still confined to the med ward. I don’t know what kind of trouble you expect me to get into.”

“With you, it could be anything,” Clem said with a roll of her eyes.

With her leaving, Javi expected the next few days to be pretty calm. Clem didn’t get a chance to see him the next day and the only interesting thing happened to be Dr. Carson deciding to take the splint off his arm. It didn’t mean the bones were completely healed and there was still a nice long list of not allowed exercises and certain precautions that Javi need to follow.

Nevertheless, it felt good to be able to freely move that arm again and would make sleeping a lot nicer too.

The next day he started to do a few of the small exercises Dr. Carson had instructed him on for his left arm before he finally got on the ground and started to do a few pushups. They had to be one handed as he couldn’t risk putting all that weight on his left hand yet. However, it was far easier than if he had still had the splint on as he could properly put his arm behind his back.

Javi was so concentrated on keeping his breathing steady and the simple up and down motions of the exercise that he didn’t notice the door softly opening. For once, the entrance wasn’t a loud, boisterous one. Katy didn’t need to be told. She simply nodded and left with her book in hand. There wasn’t anyone in the med ward at the time so Javi wasn’t alerted to anyone else moving out.

Not until the loud whistle had Javi’s knees buckling and he seriously had to focus on not instinctively catching himself with his left hand. Javi quickly jumped to his feet, eyes widening as he saw Negan for the first time since that initial hospital visit.

“Well aren’t you fucking hilarious!” cried Negan, gesturing at Javi’s chest.

Javi jolted a bit. He’d pulled off his shirt for the exercises and hadn’t realized he’d automatically covered himself up when Negan had surprised him.

“I was putting it on anyways,” Javi mumbled, quickly doing just that.

Negan ignored the comment though and simply said, “Glad to see you’re finally among the living again. You’re welcome by the way.”

“Thanks. Again,” Javi said, awkwardly adding the last bit considering he’d said it before.

“So you ready to finally join the fucking team?”

“Dr. Carson said-I mean yes, obviously-but not yes in that way-and anyways I can’t-if you would like me to I will, I just shouldn’t—”

“Jesus, I’m fucking with you Doe-Eyes! Already talked to Dr. Carson. He recommended one more week to rest the arm and get you back into fucking shape. Not that I saw anything fucking wrong.”

“Um…”

“Lighten the fuck up Javi! It’s a damn joke,” laughed Negan, hitting Javi on his back a few times before actually grabbing his shoulder. “I’m assuming you can fucking walk though.”

“Oh, a-am I? I thought I was floating.”

“Ha! Well wiseass, float right on this way. It’s about fucking time you actually got firsthand experience with the Sanctuary. Put some shoes on and hurry up.”

Javi quickly did that, also grabbing a jacket that he’d occasionally used when it was a particularly cold night. No point in ruining Carson’s hard work by getting sick all over again. Once Javi was ready, Negan put an arm around his shoulders again. As Negan started to guide him out, Javi asked, “Aren’t you too busy to be doing this with someone like me though?”

“Everybody’s got to have a fucking break once in a while.”

“Wouldn’t you have rather spent that time with your wife-wives? I guess?” Javi said, remembering one of the odder discoveries Clementine had made.

“Normally I’d say yes so you should count yourself extra fucking lucky that I’m choosing to spend it with you Doe-Eyes.”

“Right…”

“Now, I know the little Firecracker has been keeping you up to date on just about everything so give me your honest opinion. What do you fucking think?”

Negan asked this as they walked out of the ward. A quick glance around showed that Katy hadn’t stayed and had probably wandered off somewhere, taking advantage of her time outside for once.

Javi jumped as Negan suddenly snapped his fingers in front of Javi’s eyes.

“Come on, I know it’s a god damn stereotype that all beauties are ditzy as fuck but I was hoping you’d be a bit fucking different.”

“Wait, what—”

“So what are your thoughts? Piss poor place? New home? Fucking psychos, the lot of us?” Negan asked with a maniac grin. “Stop keeping me in fucking suspense and tell me!”

“I-I mean, there are definitely people Clem likes. And she thinks your model is pretty sound.”

“But you don’t?” Negan asked picking up on Javi’s words.

Javi hesitated, distracted by getting to properly see the Sanctuary for the first time. He slowly answered as his eyes moved over the halls and new structures. “I mean…she mentioned the Kingdom and I’ve heard of some of your punishments with people. It’s just a little—”

“Now weren’t you the one who said shooting first was better? Don’t get all fucking hypocritical on me Javi. If you’ve got a fucking problem with how I run things, you gotta apply that to your own fucking morals because you sure as shit didn’t land on my doorstep with clean hands.”

“No,” Javi quickly said. “I definitely didn’t…no. You’re right.”

“Of course I fucking am! So stop trying to be the bigger man because it’s already fucking me anyways. Now let’s try this again, what do you think of the Sanctuary?”

Javi turned quite for a long time. This time it seemed Negan was ok with waiting as they walked through the Sanctuary. The people they passed didn’t bother them and Javi briefly wondered if there was a pattern for Negan’s ‘off’ days that everyone knew of or if word had just gone around really damn quickly.

Either way, Javi took advantage of the silence for a few seconds longer before he said, “You’re keeping your people alive. That’s undeniable.”

“Fucking exactly. I’m building a god damn community.”

“I just…does the best of humanity no longer exist?”

“Shit no. They fucking died out trying to make everyone happy or save every fucking person and this is what’s fucking left. And you’re a part of that.”

“Yeah…I am,” Javi softly admitted.

When he turned silent again, Negan stopped their stroll in a relatively quiet section. His grip around Javi tightened. “Now fucking listen here. I’m in the fucking prime of my age and I’ll bash any fucker’s brains in if they say otherwise. But I’m clearly fucking older than you and unlike you, I lived a pretty fucking normal life from before. And you know what that normal life was like? It was pretty fucking shitty because I was a pretty shitty person. I wasn’t the worse but I sure as hell wasn’t the best. And you know what’s changed? Sure as shit not me! But what has? The fucking world and I’m on top of it. You’re going to live a pretty miserable and short life if you try to keep being goodie-two shoes about shit like this. Either you’re going to get crushed or you fucking change to fit the new world. You got it?”

Despite the types of words used, Negan’s voice surprisingly wasn’t too harsh and there did seem to be merit to what he was saying.

“Yeah I…I think I do,” Javi sighed. The admittance was a reluctant one but he could feel himself getting dragged in as Negan wrapped that arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

“See, I knew you fucking could.”

“But this doesn’t me I’m just agreeing to join! I still have—”

“You have to hash shit out with little Firecracker, I fucking get that by now. You both can stop repeating yourself!” Negan said with a large laugh. “But it’s good to know we’re finally on the same ground. Now let me show off this beautiful fucking community to you firsthand.”

They walked around for a descent among of time. As Negan pointed out one thing or named a person, Javi found that usually he could compare it to Clem’s stories. Those stories also started to become more concrete as he finally had a reference as to how everything looked. Though he still had a little while before he really could get involved, it also felt nice being able to get out and about and it was nice talking to someone new for a change.

Eventually their walk guided them back to the med ward. Negan was in the middle of telling another story, not too surprising as seemingly every structure or namedrop had seemed to come with one before. However, the strangeness that had started with Negan suddenly showing up apparently wasn’t over when he interrupted himself.

“I almost fucking forgot. Here you fucking go.”

Javi reacted quickly to the object that got tossed his way and snatched it out of the air.

“Hmm, good to know you’re not just a pitcher,” Negan said with a knowing glance.

Javi couldn’t have stopped the blush that moved over his cheeks if he could have tried. Thankfully, his mind got quickly distracted from trying to figure out if Negan had actually implied what Javi thought he’d implied as he looked down at the object.

“But…hang on this…this is the cassette player! My cassette player!”

“You can thank Firecracker for lending it to me.”

“But why would…” Javi finally stopped to properly look at it because it was his cassette player. However, key parts of its plastic casing had been replaced and there was also a tape in it too. Javi hadn’t owned any tapes, only keeping it around for the sentiment linked to Mariana. “You fixed it?”

“God damn right I did. Well not me but you get the fucking picture. There’s loads of shit that we scavenge that we don’t always have a fucking use for. Was about time we started trying something new with that shit.”

“But you didn’t…hang on? Are you trying to like, sell me more on the Sanctuary by giving me shit?”

“What? You really think I’m above a little bribery here and there?” Negan grinned.

“You’re right. What was I thinking?” snorted Javi, a bit more amused than uncertain or disappointed by Negan’s words. “Thanks anyways. No matter the reason. It does mean a lot.”

Javi glanced up just in time to get a surprisingly softer look from Negan before it disappeared to reveal his usual shit-eating grin. “Just know you still got to fucking give back all we’ve given to keep you alive and I’m still looking forward to seeing you take that bat and go pow!”

“I’ll make sure to put on a good show,” Javi sarcastically said.

“Oh I fucking know you will. I already got front row tickets,” smirked Negan as he turned and left, whistling all the way.

Javi couldn’t help but shake his head in complete confusion. He would have thought spending several hours with Negan would have given him more insight into the community and the man. And in some ways it had but for the most part Javi was just more fucking confused.

He took off his shoes and sat back on the bed. He took the cassette out and saw it didn’t have anything on it that could give away what it was. Javi put it back in, checked for batteries, put the head phones in and then turned it on. An unknown female singer started deceptively soft before suddenly screaming with the guitar and drums seemingly being played as loud as possible. It wasn’t really Javi’s thing but he couldn’t help but laugh anyways.

Obviously Negan couldn’t have had many options in picking a tape out but Javi couldn’t help but believe he’d probably found it and saved it for himself at some point. The music just screamed Negan.


	4. In Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit but I'm sure you understand how busy this time of year can be. I just wanted to quickly say that I'd always intended to rate this M but I must have forgotten to do that, hence the Not Rated tag. That's fixed now though and I'm still hard at writing. I think they may even come into contact with Rick's group by chapter six.
> 
> Anyways, thanks so much for reading this and leaving kudos. Enjoy!

Clementine wasn’t sure what she had expected when going to the Kingdom. She’d hoped for a clear cut answer though, either for it to tell her to get the hell away from the Saviors or to stay. But neither answer had really screamed at her. She could admit that the community was an odd one and probably a unique circumstance. Part of her wanted to tell the people they weren’t living in a damn fairyland, but they weren’t exactly helpless either.

Just because they had a king and knights and a god damn tiger of all things definitely didn’t mean they weren’t aware of the constant threat outside their doors. Clementine had been told about the tiger on the way over and hadn’t really believed them until one of the guys had said, “No man, it ate Gerard,” and no one had really laughed after the comment. At the same time she was told it was typically kept inside though. She probably wouldn’t see it as it was common to do their business on the outskirts of the Kingdom.

That meant Clementine didn’t get a good look at the place but it was clearly well fortified and a large, good piece of land. Carefully examining the people that they met with, Clementine could tell they were well fed and in good shape, showing that they still retained enough food to keep going. At least for the fighters anyways. Clem couldn’t say if there was actually enough to all go around but then, if they were discriminating on who should or shouldn’t get fed, that was their moral problem to deal with.

There seemed to be an established way of dealing with the trade off with very little talking. However, one guard broke that as he stepped to the side and said, “So now you have a fucking crippled kid working for you?”

Everyone seemed to freeze, including the Kingdom people. They looked to their head man as Clem and the Saviors looked to Arat. She calmly turned to Clementine and Clem could easily see her response.

_He called you out. Take care of it._

Clem turned back to the man and walked up, testing the waters. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t back up. She wasn’t exactly the most intimidating character. He simply stared her down while everyone else waited with bated breath. Clearly his outcry showed he had the biggest problem with the Saviors’ deal, or he was the worst at hiding it. Of course, Clem didn’t really care about that fact. Negan had already said these people didn’t really need them so there was bound to be some anger directed at the Saviors. Clem had cared more about making sure these people weren’t starving slaves, shackled to a garden, and were as autonomous as Negan had claimed.

Though obviously it would be better to get a look inside the community, Clem didn’t really have a problem with what she’d seen. Now she just had this prick to deal with and she knew that what she did would probably be reported back to Negan. She didn’t really think about what Negan would want and simply acted how she would have in any other situation.

“You’re not worth the trouble.” Clementine knew not saying anything would have been worse but she still didn’t want a fight. However, she wasn’t surprised that her words only seemed to piss off the man more.

“The only reason I don’t touch you is because you’ve got the fucking Saviors to-argh!”

While in midsentence, Clem kicked him hard with her good leg, right up and under his kneecap, bringing him down instantly. She pulled out her gun and pressed it to his forehead before he could do anything else and replied, “The only reason you don’t touch me is because I’d blow your head off before you could do it. And really? Threatening kids? Don’t be such an asshole.”

Clementine backed up and holstered her gun again. She doubted the guy was actually going to come after her but she wasn’t going to let anyone believe she was some easy target either. Nevertheless, his words certainly weren’t worth getting killed over and Clem didn’t want to risk breaking this agreement.

That seemed to be the right move as the moment she backed off, one of the Kingdom’s guys was helping the man up and getting him to limp away.

“We almost done?” asked Arat, calm as ever like nothing had happened.

“Yes, just this last crate,” the head man replied, also acting like they dealt with situations like this on the regular, though Clem of course doubted that.

On the way back, one of the people sandwiched next to Clem said, “You know, we’ve had some issues with Benjamin before. As cool as that shit was, no one would have cared if you’d blown his head off.”

“Corpses can’t tend to food. Or is that suddenly a new trick that the dead have learned?” questioned Clementine.

“Ha! Fair enough. Still though, one guy? Wouldn’t have been that big of a loss and we would have backed you up.”

Clem listened to the words carefully along with taking in everyone’s slight nods and agreements. The promise didn’t seem falsely placed, especially with Arat silently agreeing. Clementine simply replied, “Thank you.”

With the incident discussed now, the drive back quickly devolved into chatting and the regular messing around that their team did, only Arat being completely silent as she kept her eyes on the road. It was a fair trip back and Clementine was contemplating on whether or not to see Javi that afternoon when Arat came over to her. She had just ordered some people to start putting the food where it needed to go before she gestured at Clementine.

“We’re going to see Negan.”

Clem followed as she quickly analyzed the situation. Clearly this wasn’t just going to be about the supplies they’d gotten. She was sure someone would have commented if the supply hadn’t been right. And Arat wanted her to be there? So this was about Benjamin. Was it good or bad? She guessed it was definitely going to be seen as more good than anything but it was still interesting that Arat was taking the initiative on this.

Would she finally hear something out of Arat’s mouth besides an order?

They moved in silence and quickly through the Sanctuary. No one bothered them and Clem didn’t see any of her usual meal partners like Tory, most getting ready for the night shift or probably at dinner now.

When they got to the stairs, Arat went at her own pace but she did wait for Clem at the top. She went in without knocking and Clem wondered if all the lieutenants had that kind of permission or just Arat.

Clem also became really thankful that it was an instinct for herself to knock as she saw Negan lounged out on the couch with his tongue down the lighter haired woman’s mouth. Clem resisted making a childish face and was just happy it wasn’t a more compromising situation.

She looked elsewhere, not that she could block out the sloppy noises or that wet snap as it sounded like Negan pulled at his wife’s lips before letting go. He whispered something to her and when Clem finally focused on him, she could see the woman walking away. Negan swung his long legs over so he was sitting upright as he cried, “My two favorite gals! I’m assuming it’s all good fucking news?”

It was an odd choice of words considering his wives were still right there. It was probably just Negan being a showman though, or maybe it just went to show that the deal he had with the women really wasn’t a typical relationship despite the words he used.

Clementine just decided to focus more on the conversation for now, watching as Arat stepped forward with her arms comfortably clasped behind her back.

“Benjamin insulted our own.”

“He fucking did now, did he?” Negan grabbed Lucille which always seemed to be in reach and tapped it on the floor. “Always knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his fucking mouth shut forever. But don’t worry. I know you showed him where being an ungrateful prick gets you.” Negan’s grin widened. “This what this is? Come to spin me a good fucking tale I can yell down to the troops?”

“It was Clementine he insulted. It was her job to make the situation right.”

“Is that so?” asked Negan just as Arat gestured for Clem to come forward.

She quickly did, figuring out that she was expected to explain. Clementine did so, staying mostly factual in her retelling. She wasn’t surprised that Negan also asked her, “Why not blow the fucker’s brains out?”

“He’s useful. Even if he has a mouth on him,” Clementine replied. “Besides, with the Kingdom already being upset about your occupation over them, it made sense not to antagonize them more.”

“You know fear can be a pretty fucking powerful motivator too. Killing one of their own shows that those fucks can’t step out of line with you or any of my men.”

“True, but from what information I was able to take in about their community, it didn’t seem necessary with the Kingdom. To be fair, their way of doing things and talking to each other is a bit weird and dealing with them has to be unique compared to a typical group. Besides, if you focus on fear too much, you end up with too many dead bodies. Respect is a lot more useful. Of course, respect can come from fear, it’s just that fear can’t be the only basis for it.”

“Huh, that’s a nice fucking line. I might just steal it someday,” chuckled Negan. “And I gotta say, I agree about the respect bit especially. After all, I devote my men and my fucking time to try and support these pricks. They should be god damn grateful! Doesn’t matter if they can defend themselves well enough, every fucking bit helps in this world and being gracious isn’t that fucking hard. Arat, what’s your take?”

“Today could have ended with many setbacks, not just in lives lost but also in our relationship with the community. Clementine’s forethought in her actions have shown me she’s worth staying an active member. I want her to stay under my team.”

“Then so it shall fucking be! I gotta fucking say, count yourself lucky Firecracker. Arat doesn’t say this shit to everyone.”

“You know, I still haven’t agreed to stay after I’ve paid back this community,” Clementine reminded them.

“I know,” Arat murmured.

“Boy, don’t we!” laughed Negan, still more amused than irritated by her continuing hesitancy and info gathering. “Well from here on until you finally make that decision, and please fucking do Clementine, you got me on the fucking edge, you’ll be permanently with Arat. How much longer now until the god damn splint is off?”

“A few more days. About five I believe unless Dr. Carson says otherwise.”

“Well the moment it is, I want you out there in fucking action,” grinned Negan. He turned his gaze to Arat. “Keep an eye on her of course. I don’t want the good doctor’s work to go to waste.”

“She wouldn’t need it, but I will.”

“Glad to fucking here it! Now get out of here and have a good fucking dinner! You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Clem said as Arat inclined her head in understanding. Once they were outside the room, Clem carefully said, “You don’t just let anyone deal with an issue with the Kingdom. Not like today.”

“No.”

“Then I suppose I should say something like I’m honored or whatever to even warrant that kind of testing from you.”

“Don’t feel honored. Just don’t fail me while under my command.”

“That’s not something I can promise.”

Arat smiled in response, the answer clearly what she’d been looking for. It was the first time Clementine had seen a full smile on the woman’s face and she couldn’t help but wonder what she’d been like before. It was hard to imagine she’d been someone who smiled all the time but Clementine definitely liked to think it wasn’t a rare thing.

“Exactly. You can never truly promise someone something, not any more. I’m glad I know for sure you’re a real survivor.”

“Don’t you mean Savior?” Clementine sarcastically replied.

“Maybe,” Arat said before her smiled disappeared and it was back to the usual stoicism.

* * *

Javi was almost ready to get involved with the Saviors’ everyday life. With that in mind, Javi had one small question to ask Dr. Carson and thankfully someone came by the next morning in order to help. He’d trimmed his beard a bit from time to time whenever he went to the restroom but he hadn’t had a proper cut in weeks.

 _Finally_ the ponytail was gone! Javi had something akin to his old hairstyle finally and he got his hands on a razor too. It wasn’t good enough for a clean shave but he’d gotten used to the roughness and didn’t mind it as much as he once had.

After that, he was exercising again when Clementine visited. She didn’t interrupt right away, letting him finish the routine. He smiled upon seeing her. Even if he had already decided this community was fine, which he hadn’t, the world itself was a dangerous place and anything could have happened. It felt good knowing she was safe again.

“So everything went ok at that community?”

“For the most part.”

“No one died did they?”

“Just a few walkers that our trucks hit, but there was this one dude. He was a bit of an ass but I took care of it.” After explaining what had gone down, including her discussion with Arat and Negan, Clem’s eyes managed to find the cassette player. “So Negan did get that back to you.”

“You knew?”

“I gave it to him. Part of the deal of letting me go to the Kingdom in the first place.”

Javi couldn’t really be mad. That deal had been a good one and at least one of them had needed to see what the Kingdom was like. Besides, it had turned out fine and Javi had gotten Mariana’s cassette player back in an even better condition so there wasn’t much point in being upset. “I still can’t believe he fixed it. Or that he found a tape for me.”

“You know he was trying to earn brownie points with you, right? Probably because you’ve both talked less than Negan and me.”

“Well I obviously get that! He gave me a tour too which was probably just him adding to the sale’s pitch. But god, it felt good finally getting out of this room.”

“Get ready for more then because there’s been talk of putting you under Josh or Connor.”

“The lieutenants? So he wants me on active duty too?”

“Considering your reputation with a bat, yeah, obviously.”

“That’s fair. But not under Arat?”

Clem’s face softened a bit. “Yeah, I know. I’d rather have you with me too.”

“Do you think it’s an attempt to like, separate us?”

“I don’t think so. At least Negan isn’t doing it because he thinks we could threaten the Saviors or something. To be fair, we probably could do a fair bit of damage considering how comfortable we’ve gotten and how normalized how presence has become. But Negan’s too self-assured and cocky to really think we’d be able to hurt them and we are only two people.”

“So it’s more so that those two groups just need more people than Arat’s.”

“I think so. Besides, we’ll probably still have the chance to see each other every morning and night for meal times and it’s not uncommon that Negan will send out two groups for a bigger raid or whatever. There’ll definitely be times when we work together. I’ll probably see you more than the time you’ve been stuck in here.”

“That’s true too. Though I have to admit, no matter what it’s going to feel weird actually being a part of it all. You know, finally! But do you think like…they’ll mind me though? I have just been sitting here, taking their medicine and food and space for weeks now.” The idea had come to Javi before but with his inclusion finally on the horizon, the thoughts were at the forefront of his mind again.

“Well I’m sure a few won’t like it. I mean, there’s still a few that don’t like me. But you’re also a famous baseball player which everyone still keeps talking about. They still ask me question, like I’d know anything,” snorted Clementine. “Besides, you are going to pay back the supplies you took and also Negan wants you here which is enough to make most people back off. Just wait until you’re actually put into a group before you start to worry, ok?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“Besides, once you prove you can handle yourself, you’ll probably get more people on your side too.”

Clementine got more comfortable, leaning in close as she asked, “So anything else happen besides talking with Negan and getting a haircut while I was gone?”

“Well Katy seems to be doing relatively well. Dr. Carson doesn’t want her in the field yet but she’s gone back to Arat’s team.”

“Wait, really? Because Arat came to get her late that day you came back. She didn’t sleep with the group though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Clementine slowly said. “Do you think…?”

Javi shrugged. “I guess some people just like directness.”

“And stoicism,” snorted Clem. “Though I do think I actually made Arat pretty proud and happy after our conversation with Negan. I guess she does have more emotions than resting bitch face.”

“Ha! I guess.”

“So anything else happen?”

“Not really. What about you today? What’s on the docket?”

They continued talking for a bit longer before Clem had to go to work. Javi then turned back to exercising, finally able to do something akin to a normal routine without getting winded. Now that he was almost a hundred percent back to his weight and fitness of before, it was killing him to stay in the med ward. The tape Negan had given him got used a lot, the only real distraction that seemed to work.

Javi used it while he was working out, when he was lying in bed and sometimes when he was just trying to sleep. He’d need some new batteries soon. Maybe he’d find some or be able to trade for them later.

As for the heavy rock noise, Javi had also grown to like it, often humming the songs when he didn’t have the cassette player on.

And then finally the day came.

Negan showed up again for the first time since the little tour he’d given Javi. At least this time Javi was ready, being fully clothed as Dr. Carson did one last check up before he would let Javi out.

“You fucking ready slugger!?” Negan boomed with an excited grin. He swung two bats at his side, one of them Javi’s which had been stashed under Clem’s bed until now. “Got your silver, little beauty right here.”

He threw it and Javi caught it with ease as Dr. Carson continued to write down a few notes.

“So you’re definitely assigning me to active duty?” Clem had told Javi that his chances were pretty high, but it was only now he was hearing it straight from Negan.

“Hell yeah! Going to be under Connor considering we still haven’t found replacements for all the men he lost.”

“That’s the group with Three and John and that other guy. Right? The ones who were in the med room when I arrived?”

“Yeah. Glad you fucking remember because you’ll be bunking with them soon,” replied Negan. “He all good to go doc? Given him something to eat and all that shit?”

“Yes, though I’d like to do at least three follow up sessions in the coming month along with any extra as needed.”

“Sounds fucking good to me! Come on Doe-Eyes, let’s see you meet your fucking group!”

Javi had almost forgotten the seemingly chosen nickname out of the hundreds Negan had given him in that first meeting.

“You’ll get used to it,” murmured Carson, still not looking up from his notes.

Before Javi could reply, Negan was swinging his arm around Javi and dragging him out of the room. “Now, the best way to get to know someone is in a fucking fight. At least in my damn opinion. And seeing as the little Firecracker just had Molly take that splint off, I’m instructing Arat’s and Connor’s groups to go on a larger perimeter check outside the walls.”

“Let me guess, you’re coming too?”

“How did you fucking know?” grinned Negan. “You’re god damn right I am! Let’s see how you finally fucking do in the field.”

Negan dragged Javi outside and up to the main gate. Javi recognized the three guys in Connor’s group along with a few of the people under Arat. Right away Negan was ordering everyone into smaller groups of three. Surprisingly, Negan didn’t choose to go with either Javi, Clem, or one of his lieutenants. He ended up with one of Arat’s people and one of Connor’s as everyone walked out the front gates, weapons in hand. Javi nodded to Clem who silently responded before they parted ways, going in the directions that Negan had ordered everyone.

Javi was with Three and Connor, Connor obviously taking the lead and ordering them into position. He had Three take point and then gestured for Javi to take a few steps back with him.

As Javi fell beside Connor, he angrily whispered, “Listen here, just because Negan’s the fucking leader doesn’t mean he can’t fuck up from time to time. You’re just a fucking fun coincidence for him, a new thing to play with, and as far as I’m concerned, you haven’t proved your fucking self once. Being a big shot baseball player may be why Negan took an interest in you but it doesn’t count for shit now. And you weren’t that good anyways.”

“Ah, you must have been a Jasper Wilkinson fan.”

The glare that Javi got quickly told him jokes probably weren’t the best choice right now. He quickly backed off and simply said, “I got it. You’re the big man right now.”

“I’m the big man period when Negan ain’t here. Capisce?”

“Yeah. Completely,” mumbled Javi.

“Then take Three’s fucking place and we’ll see what you’re made up.” This part Connor said louder and Three instinctively moved back as Javi took point.

As they came across the occasional _muertos_ , they dispatched them with ease-well, actually Javi dispatched them. Every corpse that crossed their path, Connor backed off from and always gestured for Three to do the same. On the one hand, Javi understood. Connor wanted to make sure he could actually swing the bat and wasn’t just carrying it for nostalgic purposes. However, it had been four years from when Javi had met Clementine, nearly five now with the Saviors, since the apocalypse had happened. How the hell could he have survived without killing at least one _muertos_ in all that time?

Still, he wasn’t going to complain and smashed the metal bat into every head he saw. Most went down in one hit and the ones that didn’t only needed one more strike to finish them off.

He was careful not to overdo it on the arm but otherwise he felt great, finally being outside and moving around. It was still winter but no snow had fallen recently and it wasn’t cold enough to see anyone’s breath. The few leaves that were still clinging to the trees fell every now and then but for the most part, nothing besides the _muertos_ and themselves moved in the area.

Negan had told them to keep an eye out for any animals for food but Javi doubted they’d find any at this time. Most had probably migrated south or were in hibernation. The rest had probably moved out of the area, at least for a bit, considering the relatively large group of _muertos_ that had come through a few days ago, at least according to what Clem had told him.

The whole scouting mission was supposed to go on for as long as the sun was out. The main goal was to see if there were any loners or small groups that had moved into the area along with checking the patterns of the _muertos_ and seeing if a herd was headed their way.

Still, Javi was the only one to knock down the _muertos_. He may have been in better health but it was still getting a little tiresome, especially since Connor and Three could have easily helped. Three looked like he wanted to a few times but Connor always pulled him back.

And then there was the moment when two came near, one right after the other. Javi took out the one closest to him as the other went for Connor. Javi expected Connor would finally take it out but as Javi downed the corpse in front of him and shook off his bat, he just barely felt the hands of the dead try to grab him from behind.

“ _¡Joder!_ ”

Javi unexpectedly fell, just barely managing to get the bat in between him and the _muertos’_ teeth. The corpse must have been old and starving because it thankfully wasn’t very heavy as Javi managed to push it off. However, he dropped his bat in the process and had to scramble to grab it. Only he went for it but it wasn’t anywhere near his body. It was off in the leaves and brush. No way…

The _muertos_ grabbed at Javi’s leg and he quickly focused back to kicking it off, desperate not to get bitten. Out of the corner of his eyes, he just barely saw Three try to help but Connor held him back. Javi managed to kick the corpse off and then kicked it in the head. The angle was wrong and Javi couldn’t get much power into it. He quickly got to his feet as the dead tried to do the same. He remembered Clem’s technique and quickly took out the _muertos’_ knee. Now he could more easily kick the head and he did just that. With the creature on the ground and on its back now, Javi finally slammed his heel into the skull. It broke under him, the _muertos_ finally stilling.

Javi quickly walked over to where his bat was. It definitely hadn’t fallen that far away from him. He turned on Connor. “You—”

“What? What did I do?”

Javi bit back his retort.

“Not my fault you didn’t see the other one.”

Connor walked past him and to Three’s credit, he looked apologetic but that was all Javi got. It was hard to say if that had just been a test of if Connor had actually been hoping to kill him. Javi would have to tell Clem about it and try to see if she knew anything else about Connor. He did toy with the idea of telling Negan but no way would the man believe him over one of his own lieutenants. Better to stay quiet and wait until he saw Clem again.

As the day slowly rolled on, Javi stayed more vigilant than before, now knowing he couldn’t rely on the other two for help. Though he was getting a bit tired doing all the work, it kept him safer and his bat was never kicked out of his reach again. The sun rose to its highest point before slowly starting to come down again when their group crossed paths with Negan’s.

“Find anything?” Negan asked, being serious for at least a few seconds.

“Nothing besides the dead. Not even a damn squirrel,” replied Connor. He glanced at Javi, the threat clear in his eyes. Javi stayed silent.

“Looks to be a fucking boring ass winter then,” Negan grinned, “which is obviously clear by the fact I’m getting monumentally bored. Let’s switch this shit up a bit. Leena, you’re in charge. Three, go with them.”

No one questioned the orders as the two people in Negan’s group went off with Three in their direction as Connor and Javi continued their path with Negan. Javi would have expected Connor to take point or maybe Negan would force Javi to. After all, Negan was the leader. Wasn’t it important to protect him at all cost?

But Negan seemed to like taking point, to be the one to smash in the _muertos’_ heads in before anyone else. Javi supposed he wasn’t going to complain. It felt nice taking a bit of a break, especially considering what Connor had done.

As the new group walked through the woods, Negan ran his mouth the whole time. It was mostly nonsense and gossip that came out of it, Connor regularly responding to the words as Javi stayed quiet and in the back. It seemed like Negan’s interest in him had finally waned as he didn’t seem to look once at or acknowledge Javi.

The sun started to dip lower and their path was getting closer to coming back to the Sanctuary. Javi wouldn’t have been surprised if they ran into another group at this point only for Negan to suddenly stop his leisurely walk.

“So, Doe-Eyes, what happened?”

“I’m sorry—”

“You know, before the old switcheroo. How was working with your new boss? Well, sub-boss because I’ve still got the bigger dick.” Negan grinned, clearly waiting for some simple, shrug of an answer.

Considering Negan hadn’t given Javi the time of day, he doubted Negan wanted to hear what had actually happened. He probably would have just thought Javi was lying anyways. Connor was watching Javi intently even as Negan’s attention seemed to be pulled away despite just having asked the question. Still, Javi simply said, “It was fine—”

Negan’s bat slammed into the side of Connor’s head.

Javi froze, his mouth dropping open as he watched Connor hit the forest floor. His skull was cracked and bleeding with bits of flesh having gotten torn out by the barbs on Lucille. However, Negan hadn’t hit him hard enough to kill him. Connor was barely able to make a sound, either because of the shock or the damage that had occurred as blood pooled around him.

Choked gasps of air left Connor’s mouth as Negan walked over and wrapped an arm around Javi. When Javi still remained stock still, Negan forced him closer, the move somewhat waking Javi up from his own shock.

“Y-you j-j-just—”

“Javi, tell me again,” Negan said, finally using his name, “what happened with Connor? And don’t fucking lie. I hate that shit and I saw how you were fucking acting. Not a single fucking peep? And Three on fucking edge when he fucking marched off? What was it?”

Javi forced himself to talk as he watched Connor continue to try and breathe. “H-he…he was making me take out all the _muertos_ , by myself. When two came near, I took care of the one near me but he pushed the other one on me and then kicked my bat away. It was only because it had been dead for a while and was lighter that I was able to get away at all. I couldn’t tell if it was a test or he was trying to kill me.”

It had become easier to talk near the end, and Javi’s heart had finally eased a bit. At least from the shock. However, now he was starting to freak out for a whole new reason as he hoped Negan had had a good fucking reason for doing this and that it hadn’t been pure fucking luck that he’d chosen to bash Connor’s head in and not Javi’s. There had to be a reason. This wasn’t some sick game, right?

Negan nodded, his eyes narrowed and his expression completely serious without a hint of humor, morbid or otherwise, behind them.

“Well in Connor’s case, it’s a good thing you weren’t fucking bitten. That would have made his current situation a lot worse.”

Worse than slowly dying from a head injury? Javi couldn’t help but wonder what Negan would have done then but Javi decided to focus on the other bit of information Negan had given him. “So what did he do to deserve this?” Javi silently begged again that there was a reason and that Negan hadn’t just done this for fun.

Negan’s arm tightened around Javi, pulling him close as if someone might hear. The soft whistling caused by the wind moving through the leafless branches showed they were very much alone and yet Negan still whispered by his ear.

“Now listen, usually I take care of these fucking matters in front of everyone. It’s a little deterrence thing, you know? Reminds those that are thinking of fucking up not to,” said Negan. “But this woman, and I ain’t naming names, she made me promise to do it on the hush hush. Which hey, I fucking get it. Even if the fuck’s gone, he still pulled that shit and once everyone knows they’re always looking for who the victim is. Right?”

“K-knows what?”

“Alright Javi, I’ll be plain fucking straight with you, but it’s not fucking pretty. Got it? This fuck here,” Negan jabbed Connor in his stomach, “raped someone. You wanted to know what rules I had? Well the biggest fucking one is god damn consent. So here I am, taking care of fucking business. You fucking understand? Clementine has started to get what kind of place this is. She understands how it’s run but you’ve been locked up in the damn med ward. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity for you to fucking understand and to get some hands on experience.”

Javi’s eyes slowly focused back on Connor. The wariness Javi had felt over the situation, the slight bit of sympathy he’d felt for Connor, it all disappeared.

“Cause you are a decent fucking guy. You’re one of the rare ones that survived the end of the world. I can tell that much. But I also know you can make a tough call. Now this isn’t me saying you gotta fucking join here and now. Believe me. I’ve heard the song and dance a hundred times over with Clementine. I know you two have to hash shit out. But if you do choose to stay, I need you to understand that I’m in charge and my rules go. And that includes this shit here. No trial, no people arguing his case, no jail time. It doesn’t matter if he’s able bodied or even has some special fucking skill set. You do it my way and my way is this fucker gets a coward’s fucking death here, in the middle of the woods, with no burial and no fucking good bye. You think you can handle that?”

Javi continued to look at Connor. For once, Negan was quite, giving Javi the time he needed to more fully decide what the best choice of action was. In this instance here, Javi agreed with Negan. But what if in a later situation he didn’t agree with this brand of justice? But then he thought about the things he’d done to protect Clementine and himself. He thought about all the people under Negan who relied on the man. He thought about the advice Negan had given him and he thought about how the chance at a life like before just wasn’t possible anymore.

With this community being under one guy, there were bound to be times when Javi didn’t agree morally. But Negan had survived longer and had amassed so many people because of his model.

Javi and Clem couldn’t go back on the road. He knew now that it was a death wish, that eventually something would come and fuck them up and they wouldn’t have any support to lean on. And if they left Negan for another group? Well, there were bound to be things Javi didn’t approve of with them. You just couldn’t get everything you wanted anymore, you couldn’t be picky.

Of course, Javi wasn’t going to officially make a decision then and there, but he did make a moral one, one that he now believed would protect himself and Clem in the future.

“I can handle that,” Javi murmured.

“Good.” Negan drew his gun and handed it to Javi. “Then execute this fucker and let the dead come for him.”

Javi slowly took it with his left hand. There weren’t any doubts in Javi’s mind now, nothing like Negan might have lied about what Connor had done or anything like that. The fact that all humor had left Negan, just the fact of how serious and disgusted his voice had become, Javi knew it to be true. And with that in mind, he couldn’t help but think about if this had happened to someone he’d cared about. How much he’d want to do something then.

And then Javi thought about before. About all the crap he’d seen in newspapers and on TV. The people who got away with fucking over others because of technicalities and pure luck. Karma didn’t always catch up and the good guys didn’t always win and way back in Javi’s mind, he’d always wondered why someone couldn’t have just done something.

But now the good guys were gone. The rules had gotten thrown out the window and no one was going to stop him. If anything, he was being egged on.

The apocalypse had come and gone and Javi had tried to live in it like it could be a good world but what kind of good world took away your entire family in an afternoon? What kind of world like this left the young and weak and helpless to be devoured by the dead, day after day?

He supposed a world like that had existed before, in foreign countries that had seemed so far away that you could even pretend it wasn’t happening.

But not anymore. This was the world now and it was time to accept it or let the new generation take over.

Javi looked at the gun while tightening his grip on his bat. Instead of using the gun, he forced it into the hem of his jeans and slammed the bat against Connor. He didn’t hit him in the head. He hit him in the arms and the legs and his sides. Javi felt the bones break, heard the groans of pain, what little Connor could still muster as he started to fade.

And Negan didn’t say anything. He didn’t hoot and holler or crack jokes. He stood by and watched with a hard gaze as Javi hit the guy again and again. It was like getting a chance at payback for what the world had become. He’d thought he’d come to terms with losing Kate and Gabe and Mariana and in a way he had.

But he’d never addressed the anger that came with the fucked up situation and now he could. Letting it out as hard and as ruthless as he wanted to before he suddenly stopped. He threw his head back with a tired huff, strands of hair falling in front of him as he finally took the gun out again. He shot Connor square between the eyes.

“Any _muertos_ in the area should be drawn over here now. And if someone does find the body,” murmured Javi, “you can always prove you had to give him a mercy killing by the hole between his eyes.”

“My fucking thoughts exactly,” Negan replied. He held out his hand and Javi handed the gun back. Once it was holstered, Negan wrapped an arm back around Javi as the two of them left the scene. “I’m glad you’re taking my advice seriously. It would have been a real fucking shame if this world had wasted you.”

“I’m not ready to die yet. Besides, I’m not leaving Clem anytime soon.”

“Good to fucking know because I love that little Firecracker too!”

And suddenly Negan’s mood was back as he started to laugh at the situation they’d left behind and Javi found it was difficult to not join in.

* * *

Clementine anxiously stood near the gates with Arat. Her patrol of the area had been pretty uneventful and she’d been surprised that Negan had gone off with his own people. With all his talk, she’d figured he’d want to see her in action as he’d put it. Or maybe he’d just known it would be a boring patrol.

But now Negan and Javi and that other lieutenant Connor still weren’t back. They were the last ones but considering the route they’d taken, they shouldn’t have been.

One of the men had mentioned hearing what might have been a gunshot but hadn’t gone and investigated it much to Arat’s anger. All they knew was that for whatever reason, Negan had switched with Three but their group still should have been here by now.

What was taking them so long? Should they have already been out there looking for them? If that noise the one guy had heard had been a gunshot and Javi was dead, then Clementine wouldn’t hold anything back—

“I think I see them!”

Clementine rushed up so she could see over the wall. She immediately sighed in relief at seeing Javi and took note of Negan. But where was the other lieutenant?

The two groups and a few others all gathered by the main gate as it opened up and Negan and Javi walked in.

“Ah, this huge ass welcome party? Just for me? You shouldn’t have,” grinned Negan.

“What happened? Where’s Connor?” Arat cut in.

“Had a little fucking accident. A dead guy was covered up by some fucking leaves and got him in the ankle. Had to put the sorry fuck out of his misery. Congrats Aman, you’re my new lieutenant.”

“Guess you couldn’t bring the body back,” sighed one.

“Nope,” replied Negan, continuing to walk through the people and on to other business. No one really seemed to question him which partially made sense. Shit like this happened all the time, even to the best survivors.

However, as Clem got closer to Javi, she heard Aman go, “I guess that makes you part of my team now. I bet you’re glad Connor is gone. Huh?”

“What does that mean?”

“Just that Three told me about the shit he pulled with you. It wasn’t like, just you, you know? It was like, Connor’s way of initiating us. Just his own way of doing shit. If he’d actually thought you were going to die, he would have totally stepped in. Sucks because I think you would have liked him.”

“I guess we’ll never know,” murmured Javi.

“Yeah, guess not. Cheers though. I doubt I’m going to put people through that kind of shit but if I did, I know you sure as hell passed.”

“Wait, really? How?”

“You came back with the big man and he wasn’t chewing you out and making a fucking joke of you. It means you held your own,” Aman replied.

“Oh! I guess in that case—”

“No worries man. You’re part of us now. Anyways, I’ll get someone to show you where our barracks are but it is now fucking time to eat my man!” Aman finally seemed to notice Clementine and smiled. “I’m guessing your friend can show you the way?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Cool, see you later man.”

As Aman left, Clementine quickly grabbed Javi and pulled him away. Though no one else seemed to pick up on it, Clem had known him long enough to know he was seriously distracted. She also could tell he wanted to talk about it by the fact that he didn’t question why she was dragging him off to the side. They didn’t go to the mess hall, not for the moment as Clem found a quiet spot and finally turned on Javi.

“First, I need to know that you’re ok.”

“I-I-I am. Really I just-phew! I did not expect that to go so well.”

Clementine looked him over. No physical wounds and…no he wasn’t really freaking out. It seemed he was just a bit full of adrenaline. Probably over what had happened though Clem was already suspecting that it hadn’t gone down like Negan had said. “What happened?”

“I killed a guy. The guy. Connor,” Javi immediately said. He paused for a second before he started messing with his fingers. He was clearly trying to figure out a way to explain it all so Clementine decided to make it a bit easier for him.

“I figured there had to be some other motive for all this. After all that talk of wanting to work with us and see us in action, it felt odd that Negan was fine going off on his own,” Clem replied. Javi quickly opened his mouth to explain but she shook her head. “No, I get what kind of place this is. I get the way Negan runs things and good or bad, it seems to be working. I just need to know one thing.”

“Yeah, anything Clem.”

“Did he deserve it?”

Javi didn’t hesitate. “Yeah.”

Clementine finally eased up, immediately knowing she could trust Javi’s words. “Good. Then let’s hurry to the mess hall. I’m starving and I can finally introduce you to Tory!”

With the worry and suspicion gone, Clem started telling Javi some more details about Tory she hadn’t quite fit in with one of her stories and they headed over to the mess hall.


	5. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the kudos! I'm happy people are enjoying this. Also just wanted to say that either at the end of next chapter or at the beginning of chapter 7 will they finally run into Rick's group. Again, they'll be pretty minor characters in this, more as a plot point for Clem to meet Glen again. This is also ending up a little longer too so I added another chapter.
> 
> Also made another playlist for those interested because I can't help myself haha: https://8tracks.com/changethecircumstances/i-wanna-know-who-you-are
> 
> Anyways, thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

Clementine watched the deer fall, releasing her breath just as it hit the forest floor.

Though she couldn’t know for sure, spring was right around the corner if it wasn’t already there. She and Javi had been with the Saviors several months now, working hard through the winter in order to keep everyone alive and well-fed. The Kingdom’s output had dropped significantly and scavenging had become harder due to the cold. It had been an expected outcome but the Saviors had chosen to still push the community. It had been a careful balance they’d had to strike up, not wanting to break them to the point of revolt but still making it clear who was in charge. Considering no fights had broken out over the colder months, Clem would have argued it had worked.

With the coming of spring though, they didn’t have to worry about a food shortage, at least not as much. Not only had the Kingdom’s output increased, but Clem had finally convinced Negan that they’d need a garden of their own. After all, despite the strong base Negan had built up, it didn’t mean anything if they couldn’t fully support their people on their own.

The garden project had become a large part of Clementine’s work as Negan had put her in charge. Obviously they could never prepare something equal to the gardens in the Kingdom in their old factory, but it would be better than nothing. And now that it was spring, the small project could really start showing results.

Besides the garden project though, Clem had finally become part of Arat’s group since fully healing. She now regularly went out on the patrol missions and supply runs both small and large. Sometimes, if she was lucky, Arat’s group partnered with Aman’s meaning she and Javi got a chance to work together too. From what Javi told her, he was basically running the same missions as well though Aman’s group worked less with the Kingdom. It wasn’t uncommon for Negan to end up joining one of their runs or scavenging missions either.

Currently, Javi was doing some ordinary guard duty with the rest of his troop while Clem actually went on a hunting expedition. Katy had been teaching her how to use a bow and it was only now that Clem was putting the new skill to use. Both Dr. Carson and Arat (supposedly) had been against Katy pushing herself too hard even though it seemed Carson had gotten to the cancer in time. With that in mind, Katy had focused on teaching others her more unique skills safely inside the walls, like how to properly use a bow and make arrows.

Clem still had to work on making the arrows but clearly she had the aiming part down.

“Yes!”

Clem quickly turned on Tory’s excited cry, pressing her finger against her lips. Recently Tory had been trying to convince Negan to let her go on active duty as well. She wanted to prove that she could do more, that she would and could risk everything to protect the group. However, Negan had been a bit hesitant, possibly because he had watched her grow up. He probably still remembered her as the eleven year old kid, crying and scared and hiding behind her caregiver. He still hadn’t agreed to put her underneath a lieutenant but he had agreed to let her go on some expeditions outside the walls. The only requirements were that the expeditions had to stay close to the Sanctuary and Clem had to be a part of it too.

Of course, Negan hadn’t told Tory the second part of that agreement. However, after briefly talking with her he had gone to Clementine and had asked her to watch out for Tory. It didn’t matter that Tory was older by several years, it was clear Negan’s relationship to her made him bias when it came to actively putting her in danger. Nevertheless, he was trying and Clem had assured Negan that he needn’t worry. Tory had become her friend and Clem would do anything to protect her.

Now Clementine slowly approached the deer, keeping her eyes peeled for anything or anyone else in the area. She specifically needed to make sure a walker or two hadn’t been following the animal.

She carefully avoided any branches or dead leaves, still looking around for any walkers or even the living as she slowly knelt next to the deer. A bird tweeted from above just as an arrow whizzed by, taking the little bird out and straight to the ground.

Clementine nodded approvingly as she looked back at Tory who was smiling as large as could be. Clem then finally focused on the deer, noting that it was relatively healthy and there weren’t any signs of bites, scratches, or chances at disease. Though the kill wasn’t lucky, it had all been Clementine, the deer’s condition was and there was a good chance they wouldn’t see another one like this in a while.

“Here, I can carry it,” Tory softly said.

“Ok. Give me the bird,” Clem replied. She quickly went to tie up the bird’s legs which she then tied to her belt next to the rabbit already hanging there. Tory very carefully got the deer around her neck. It took her a moment to balance correctly under the heavy weight. “You got it?” Clementine asked.

“Hey, you still have a bit more growing to do,” Tory softly laughed. “At least wait until you’re my age before you try putting the whole world on your shoulders.”

“Too late. But I’ll let you at least handle the deer for now,” Clem snorted as she did another quick look around the forest. “I think we should probably head back now.”

“Agreed.”

“Good, I’ll take point. And as good a find as that deer is, if you need to drop it, drop it,” Clem stressed.

“Don’t worry, I definitely get that.”

Clem nodded and then slowly started to lead them back to the factory. She stayed on edge, ready for any kind of fight until they broke the tree lines and they could see the ever increasing defenses built around the walls. Since Clem and Javi had come, they’d really upped their defenses so that the dead would have had to break through at least three full structures before getting to the inner population. That didn’t even include the smaller, random patches of spikes and other traps either. And they were now preparing for large herds too, setting bombs out on the highways and more open areas where herds usually traveled.

The community really was coming around with major fortifications almost being finished. It made Clem smile, the space becoming so much more than any home she’d been in. There were of course aspects that did remind her of places, particularly William Carver and his group. However, it was different enough that Clem still felt safe and believed in the people working in the Sanctuary. She even believed in Negan, at least for now. She was of course aware of how quickly his more benevolent leadership could break down, and she knew he was rash enough to do stupid shit if no one stopped him in time. But the promise that the Saviors had was worth fighting for.

That became clearer as the rest of Arat’s men greeted them at the gate. They praised Clem for the catch and everyone quickly compared what else they’d caught, teasing the ones who had been unable to find anything and just joking around.

One of the guys grabbed the deer and Clem passed off the other two small animals her and Tory had caught.

“See you at dinner?” asked Tory.

“Definitely,” Clem agreed. They both parted, Tory off to do her own duties. Clem decided to check on the garden first, heading in the opposite direction.

They’d found an unpaved stretch inside the factory walls and had cleared out the gravel in a few days after Negan had first agreed to the project. Bringing more fertile dirt to the area had taken a great deal longer though and then of course they had needed the first seeds to plan out exactly where and how they’d plant everything. Thankfully, Clem had found Christopher to help with that after a quick announcement made by Negan.

Christopher had been a gardener before the apocalypse and knew exactly what to do. He hadn’t brought these skills up before simply because Negan had never had need of them before. However, now the older man was getting pulled left and right as those involved with the garden kept going to him for advice and information for the still growing plants.

Christopher was usually soft spoken and clearly took his time thinking about his words before he spoke them. He reminded Clem a little of Lee, or at least how she imagined Lee might have been in his old age. But really only in personality. Clem couldn’t ever imagine Lee deciding to focus on gardening like this.

“Clementine, the hunting expedition went well?” Christopher asked as she came close.

“Yeah, not enough worth preserving it but enough for one, maybe two good meals.”

“That’s good news. I know a few people were getting sick of the vegetables and fruit.”

Clem nodded in agreement before having Christopher explain how certain plants were doing, what could be harvested first, and the like. She went around looking over the small garden too and asked the other workers their own opinions. Once satisfied that nothing had blown up since that morning, Clem said goodbye and went to look for Javi.

Though Aman’s team had been helping the builders with some construction issues that morning, they were supposed to have switched for guard duty later on. Their scheduled time should have been finishing up now and Javi was probably about ready to head for dinner. Clem could have just met him there but considering they didn’t always sit together now, she’d take the chance of a few minutes of alone time with him.

At first, Javi had stuck to her like a fly to honey, still just trying to get used to all the Saviors. Thankfully he’d been welcomed with open arms pretty quickly. No one had questioned him about that other lieutenant’s death, at least everyone except Three who had been part of Javi’s and Connor’s team that day. However, by the time Three got up the courage to ask, Javi had completely calmed down and gotten a hold of the situation, easily pushing past the murder accusation and saying, “He just got unlucky.”

Thankfully Three hadn’t seemed to be too fond of Connor’s leadership either so any doubt he still might have had got ignored.

And now, Javi had gotten comfortable with his own group and a few other people around the factory. He was starting to make his own connections, to root down so to speak. Yet despite that, Clem and Javi had agreed to hold off on making their final decision on whether or not to stay. By this point, Javi didn’t quite get it anymore. He was ready to make a decision but Clem still wanted to make sure, thinking that she’d probably save her words for the day Negan actually said their debt was fully paid.

For now though, she just focused on finding Javi. She greeted the people she passed as she went up to the perimeter and started to walk it. After a moment, she finally spotted him. He was facing the forest and trying to focus on it though Clementine could tell it wasn’t that easy.

And that was because Negan was leaning up beside him, talking his mouth off as per usual. Javi’s eyes kept flitting from him and back to the trees. As Clem got closer, she could hear the laughter escaping Javi’s lips and the exasperated, “No way. I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t fucking mean that. Do you Doe-Eyes?” grinned Negan.

“Listen, there is only so much ridiculous shit I’ll believe in before-hey you’re back Clem!” Javi said, brightening up even more.

“Find anything good?” asked Negan still leaning up besides Javi.

“An alright amount. Depending on the prep time we could all have a pretty good breakfast or dinner tomorrow. Maybe both if we’re lucky.”

Javi’s eyes flitted to the bow on her back before going back to the forest again. “Did you finally get to use those new skills Katy’s been teaching you?”

Clem nodded. “I took down a deer and Tory helped me carry it back.”

“Well I’ll be damned! A fucking doe or buck?”

“Buck.  He still hadn’t shed his antlers yet. We could probably use the bones for something.”

“Oh hell yeah, something fucking nice for sure. And I’ll let you have fucking first say when it comes to that little Firecracker. What do you god damn say? What motherfucking great ideas come to mind?”

“Well, if I give everything back to the community, how much more do we have to pay off?” asked Clementine. Again, she was still cautious and curious on how this would actually play out. Despite Negan’s promises, Clem couldn’t know for sure if he’d willingly let them go. It was one of the main reasons she’d held off on making a promise because she wanted to know what action Negan would actually take when faced with their time at the Sanctuary possibly coming to an end.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to speak with the fucking two of you about—”

“ _Negan_!”

Right away Negan straightened up and looked over Clem’s head at one of the women running their way.

“What!?” Negan called back as she came closer.

“Isabelle’s team came back! They found a new community!”

“Did they fucking now?!” Negan pulled out his walkie-talkie which he’d apparently turned on silent for his conversation with Javi. “I’m gonna need, Arat, Simon, Isabelle, and Aman in the fucking war room now.” He let go of the talking button and looked back at the woman. “Josh is still at the outpost with his team by the Kingdom, right?”

She nodded.

“Well, be prepared to call them back if we need them.” Negan gestured for her to leave which she quickly did. He turned back to Clem and Javi. “We’ll have to finish this conversation later. And that conversation too Doe-Eyes.”

“Oh-well I mean—”

“Later!” Negan cried out before Javi could properly get out the thought.

They both watched Negan rush back down the wall and it wasn’t until he was out of earshot that Clem said, “Well that’s going to be the talk of the factory.”

Javi nervously gulped. “Will it really?”

Clem arched an eyebrow as she looked over with mild confusion. “Are we thinking of the same thing?”

“I mean-oh! Oh you mean the other community! Y-yeah that. That’ll be uh…interesting.”

“Javi, I’m a teenager,” Clem deadpanned, “you’re not fooling me.”

“I’m not?”

Clem couldn’t help but laugh. “Not in the slightest. Though I am curious about Carson’s assistant. I mean, I thought…you know…between you and Molly…”

Javi at least eased up at that comment and quickly shook his head. “I mean, the main reason I saw her so much was just for checkups since Carson was usually working on the more serious cases. So once I was given the all clear…” Javi shrugged. “Besides, she reminded me too much of an ex-girlfriend. It would have been too weird.”

“Really? More weird then getting flustered around the big boss with a harem?”

“How do you even know what a harem is?”

“Saw it in a comic book Tory had. She called it a manga or something like that.”

“No surprise there then,” Javi huffed under his breath. Louder though, he said, “And I’m not flustered. It was…nothing.”

“Even if we weren’t friends and I didn’t see you more than most around here, I’m still a teenager. If anyone sees what’s going on, it’s going to be me.”

Javi glanced at her a few times before finally letting out a loud groan. He leaned against the fence and looked back at the forest. “Urgh, I don’t know what to do with him! Everything just confuses me more.”

“All I can say is keep a clear head. We still haven’t chosen to stay or not. We need to stay unbiased when making our final decision.”

“You know, you keep saying you’re a teenager but I think you’re actually ten years my senior.”

Clem shrugged. “Just more experience in these kinds of situations. And I’ve seen people get so romanticized with an idea that they can’t see the bad any longer.”

“Yeah? Like who?”

“Well this one woman, Bonnie, she comes to mind first. She was part of Carver’s community,” Clem said, not having to elaborate more since she’d long since told the main story to Javi. “But she kept fighting me at first. She just didn’t want to believe all the bad things Carver had done. She’d been friends with Luke though. They…they might have had a thing or something. I’m not sure but when she knew he was working with us, she helped.”

“You mentioned once that you felt someone blamed you for his death. That was her?”

Clem nodded.

“But you also said your group died. Everyone except Kenny and AJ until…well yeah.”

“I did say that.”

“So Bonnie died with the others. In other words, if you had let her keep her eyes closed, she might have lived.”

“Well, she technically wouldn’t have because we would have destroyed the community with or without her.”

“Ok, that’s fair enough but you get my point. Right? Her reasons and yours, it was all a matter of perspective.”

“And I’ve done what I’ve done to stay alive. She tried to do the same. Only difference is one of us failed. I know that,” Clementine softly replied. “In the end, things aren’t black and white.”

“No they are not.”

Clem quickly looked at Javi again. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cautious about all this. The only reason we haven’t had any problem with Negan is because we interest him. There are a lot of people who probably don’t view him so fondly, even if he thinks he’s the center of the damn universe.”

“You mean like Dwight.”

Clem made a face at the memory. That had only happened a few weeks ago. “To be fair to Negan, he set out the rules pretty clearly for them. Dwight and Sherry knew the risks of sneaking behind his back, and besides, I can safely say I’ll never have to worry about breaking those rules. Though…who knows how those rules might apply to you.”

“Ok! Enough with this! Nothing’s even happened yet,” groaned Javi. “And besides, there’s not much point right now considering we still haven’t agreed to stay. Seriously Clem, what are we waiting for? We’ve already agreed we’re not going to get much better than this. Why not say yes?”

“There’s just one more test I want to see,” Clem replied. “Then we’ll decide.”

Javi rolled his eyes. “Fine, we’ll wait for your super secret test.”

“Don’t you want to know what it is?”

“I’ll find out eventually. Besides, I respect you Clementine and even while here, we’re a team. I’ll wait until you’re comfortable to make a decision.”

Clem finally smiled again. “Thank you Javi. For understanding.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s not just-I mean I said team but it’s so much more—”

“You don’t want me to say thank you?” Clem sarcastically said.

“No! That’s not what—” Javi laughed too. He shook his head and let out a long sigh before pushing his hair back. It finally revealed a smile tinged with sadness that had set in on his face. “I mean…you don’t have to keep saying thank you. Not like that because I…I say we’re a team but after all we’ve been through, being on the road for basically a year and you…you could never replace Mariana. N-no one could! That isn’t what this is about and I don’t want-you aren’t-I don’t want it to seem like you’re any less than you are or I don’t see you because I do Clem! I see you! And you’re resourceful and strong-stronger than me because I doubt I could have made it in your situation. You should have seen me as a kid Clem because I never could have…but that’s not the point. The point is that in the moment when I lost everything y-you allowed me to stick by your side. And you…you don’t have to say thanks or anything like that. You don’t have to worry about me doubting you or getting suspicious or whatever just because you don’t want to tell me everything right now. You don’t have to ever think about that because even though we’re here, even though we’ve made friends and we’re still contemplating actually joining them, none of it changes the fact that you were there for me and you…you’re the family I have left Clem. You’re my family-if you’ll have me. S-so you don’t have to say thanks. Not for something like this. Ok?”

The entire time Javi had spoken he hadn’t moved his eyes away from the woods. He’d stayed focused there, so intently that his eyes were tearing up. Or maybe it was because of the words he’d just said. But either way he didn’t move, one hand curled into the fence and the other hand clenched at his side.

He didn’t move. Not until Clem grabbed him and hugged him as hard as she could.

“Of course I’ll have you,” came Clem’s muffled response. “You’re the best little brother I’ve ever had.”

A choked laugh escaped Javi’s lips as he hugged her back even tighter in one big squeeze. Clementine mimicked it before Javi pulled back a little, an interested look coming across his face. He quickly put his hand right above her head and dragged his hand straight to his chest. “Hey…I think you’ve grown a little! Maybe you’ll be as tall as me one day.”

“I doubt it,” chuckled Clem, “but I’m getting there.”

“You definitely are.”

They hugged again and this time as they pulled apart, they heard, “Sorry to interrupt the moment but the shifts are changing.”

“Hey Katy,” Clem smiled as she dropped her arms back to her side. “Weren’t you working this morning? Isn’t Arat trying to not have you work as much?”

“She would support me fully on her own work if she could,” snorted Katy. “But standing here and looking at the woods isn’t exactly a lot of work.”

“Well be my guest because personally, I am ready to eat,” grinned Javi. “See you around Katy.”

She nodded to both of them, getting comfortable as Clem and Javi walked by.

“I’m starting to get hungry too. I can’t wait to see what that deer is like. Hopefully it’ll be prepped by tomorrow,” sighed Clem.

“Yeah, you don’t realize how tired you get of packets and plants and shit until you finally get another option,” Javi replied. They were silent for a moment as they made their way into the factory before he added, “I gotta say, I’m curious how this whole thing with a new community is going to go though.”

“Well, obviously Negan’s going to find some way to control it.”

“Well yeah, obviously. I just mean there’s no way it’s going to be like the Kingdom. Not exactly. What will they be able to provide? What are their leader or leaders like? Will there be a fight?”

Clem shrugged. “We’ll just have to wait and see. Personally, I care more about dinner right now.”

Javi chuckled. “Yeah, ok. I gotta agree there.”

They continued walking to the chosen mess hall, greeting and chatting with others along the way.

* * *

It took a few days before Negan fully chose their approach with the new community. It was interesting for Javi and Clem to actually see his method, at least somewhat. In this instance, the new community didn’t know of their existence, at least the Saviors were pretty sure they didn’t, and from the information gathered by Isabelle’s team they knew the place wasn’t some military like group.

It meant Negan had time to plan their entrance and he actually did just that. He could have acted more rashly like he sometimes did, but it further supported Clem’s and Javi’s view that Negan was a lot smarter than he often put on. His way of joking and his charisma was how he drew people in but also kept them at bay. And all the while he carefully did this dance, there was something more going on in his head, some bigger, grander plan.

And in this instance, the plan called for Josh and Simon’s team to act as backup, to surround the encampment in such a way that their presence wouldn’t be known unless necessary. Arat’s team was split, some left behind to protect the Sanctuary and a few out near the Kingdom like they always had. Aman’s team also ended up split, some supporting the Sanctuary and the rest, including Aman, supporting first contact. Isabelle and her team were running point though with Negan at their side.

Going by just the active duty members, the Saviors seemed to have more people than the new community and they planned to throw that strength at them if necessary. However, Negan was going to start with a little more equal ground in order to see what the community did when they thought they might have a fighting chance. It would be a good gage of exactly who the people were along with getting a feel for their strengths and weaknesses.

During it, Clem was with the part of Arat’s team that was watching over the Kingdom meaning she’d likely only know about the outcome secondhand. As for Javi, Aman initially told him he’d be one of the ones to stay back and watch over the Sanctuary while they were gone. However, on the day when the welcoming committee was leaving, Simon and Josh’s teams had left early to prepare their places and so they could radio Negan ahead if something looked wrong, that changed for Javi.

Ever since Javi had become involved with the Savior’s day to day life, Negan had seemed to become even more interested in him. During the weeks, Negan would appear at random, either joining Javi for one of Aman’s tasks or cornering him during guard duty or even coming to him personally to give him some order rather than through a lieutenant. Javi wasn’t deaf, he definitely got the innuendos thrown his way and it wasn’t exactly hard to read Negan’s body language. At least in instances like this, the man was anything but subtle.

That being said though, Javi wasn’t exactly…not flattered? He was certainly confused, considering Negan had not one but two ‘wives’. One explanation could be it was some ploy, something Javi had though of even before Clem had brought up the idea. Negan had certainly been trying to earn ‘brownie points’ ever since they’d met, first made clear when he had the cassette player fixed.

But despite not fully understanding the why, Javi didn’t exactly hate it. He was pretty sure if he had told Negan off that first time, it would have been one of the few times the man listened right away. However, Javi didn’t really want to make the guy stop. He was interesting for one and the attention was…nice.

It had been a while since Javi had flirted with anything like this and as much as he’d grown to care for and even love Clementine, it was purely a familial one. Negan was something else entirely and even though the relationship was obviously closer to past partners Javi had had, even comparing Negan to any ex seemed wrong.

And really, with all that attention thrown his way, Javi shouldn’t have been surprised that Negan showed up right before they were supposed to leave for the new community.

At the time, Javi was checking in with Fat Joey, looking over the armory inventory and seeing what the people who were being left behind had to work with if things took a turn for the worse. The most dangerous thing that would probably come knocking on their doors was the usual dead but Javi still wanted to make sure. If they failed the people inside the Sanctuary, all Negan had built would be gone and the people outside, including Clem, would have nothing to come back to.

Fat Joey had just started to show Javi what melee type weapons they had stored up and the conditions of them when Negan walked in.

“Oh! Um-Negan I’m just showing Javier how many—”

“Out.”

“Right.”

Fat Joey quickly left. Negan didn’t even look at him as he went up to Javi, one hand on his hip and the other hand swinging Lucille at his side.

“You planning to take over once we step outside those gates?” asked Negan with a grin.

“More like assuring you have a place to hunker down in should shit hit the fan.”

“That’s what I like to fucking hear which is exactly why I’m dragging your ass with me.”

“Wait-but—”

“I need some fucking thinkers like you that are planning five steps ahead for what-fucking-if scenarios so you’re ready for whatever shit scene might come our way.”

“Then I should stay here.”

“Arat’s fucking here. She can handle that shit. And sure, I’ve got Simon leading the others to back our asses up from the woods but I need someone I can fully trust on the ground. And with the others stuck in their places, that’s fucking you.”

“By that logic, you’re putting me higher than Isabelle and Josh who are also your chosen lieutenants; along with literally everyone else who you’ve known longer than me,” Javi skeptically murmured. “I’m not your number one guy.”

Negan’s grin just got bigger if that was even possible. “See, a fucking thinker, what did I say?”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

Negan leaned against the wall near Javi, making himself a little shorter so they were eye-to-eye. “You didn’t ask a question.”

“Yes I-well…it was implied!”

Negan laughed good and hard as Javi just groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“You know what I mean! Just tell me why you want me there.”

“Never one to beat around the fucking bush and yet you still won’t give me a god damn answer. You know you can make your own fucking choices.”

“I know and I have. But if Clem ends up deciding something else then we’ll talk and if she makes the more compelling argument, I’ll follow her lead. She’s my family and I can’t leave her behind.”

Negan slowly nodded his head and for a second it seemed like he was going to comment on that relationship, either praising Javi’s commitment to Clementine or criticizing him. It was always hard to tell which way Negan might fall. Instead though, Negan said, “So you made your decision?”

“I didn’t—”

“Well you can’t leave me in fucking suspense Doe-Eyes! What’s it going to be?”

“I don’t think that would be wise without talking with Clementine first.”

“Oh come on, I can keep a secret,” replied Negan as he leaned in. His voice dropped as he dominated the space around Javi. “What do you think?”

“I think…”

Negan continued to look intently at him, even moving a little closer.

“…that in this instance, you’re relying on your charm too much.”

Negan laughed standing up straight and slapping Javi on his shoulder. “I fucking am, huh?”

“You’ve done a lot for me, with pretty clear ulterior motives though I still appreciate it. And even if you didn’t have ulterior motives, I still made a promise with Clementine. If you still want to know my personal opinion after whatever we’ve decided, I’ll tell you. But not before.”

“Stubborn fucking bitch aren’t ya?”

“Yep,” Javi replied. “So considering I’m not going to move on this, how about you tell me why you want to bring me along?”

“If I told you, what would be the fun in that?”

“I didn’t realize fun was involved in this whole thing.”

“Oh, you can find fun in anything,” smirked Negan. “Just takes fucking practice. Lots of it.”

“Um…yeah I think—”

“But with permission of course,” Negan added leaning in again. “It’s no fun if both parties don’t fucking consent.”

Javi was pretty sure this was one of those instances where Negan was expecting for Javi to make a complaint. Usually during their conversations there was some moment where Negan seemed to want to double check on consent. It was oddly very polite coming from a guy who had partially melted the face of one of his men a few weeks ago and had asked Javi to kill someone else just a little while before that.

“Well obviously,” mumbled Javi. “Unless it’s like, fighting for resources or self preservation or something. Kind of difficult to ask a guy’s consent before you smash his head in with a baseball bat.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” replied Negan as he straightened up again. He wrapped an arm around Javi and started to pull him away. “However, seeing as we do have to do all that bullshit that comes with positions like ours, let’s try and have some fucking fun with this new community anyways, hmm?”

Javi blushed at the insinuation but quickly nodded and added, “Yeah, the new community is probably more important anyways.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t fucking say that. But it is far fucking more pressing! It’s time to hit the road!”

Now Negan fully dragged Javi out of the armory. There wasn’t any need to stop and grab supplies, Javi usually carrying his weapons with him at all times anyways. His bat clung to his back and a firearm and knife sat on his waist. No one questioned why he was suddenly joining the group. Arat simply nodded to Negan and acknowledged that she’d keep everything under control while Negan was away. Considering what Javi had gotten to know about Aman over the last few months too, he doubted the man would have any complaints about Negan’s choice either.

Javi got into one of the trucks. Though still confused as to why Negan wanted him there, he decided not to question it and got comfortable for the long drive. He began to focus on the Saviors around him. Those he knew better he started talking to in order to pass the time. There was a lot of speculation about the new group, even with the information that Isabelle’s team had brought back.

The drive was relatively long considering the scouting mission that had discovered the community had occurred over several days and on foot. Even if things went smoothly and they left as quickly as they came, they still wouldn’t make it back to the Sanctuary until tomorrow.

As they drew nearer though, Javi just focused on being prepared. They would stop just a little bit away from the community and walk the rest of the way. It was both to put them more on even ground with the new community while also not revealing exactly how many resources they had.

Part of the first contact group would also stay a little ways back, revealing themselves but not forcing themselves on the community until needed. Javi was part of the group that would be entering those gates however and he doubted that was unintentional.

Still, he was glad he was there if he was being honest. He’d dealt with the Kingdom minimally and knew more about it from Clem’s interactions than his own. Getting to see exactly how they’d take on this community would be important information for him and Clem along with giving Javi a chance to further prove himself to the Saviors. Even if he didn’t get why he was here, he might as well take advantage of the situation.

They jumped out of the trucks as they slowed to a stop, and everyone eagerly listened in as Isabelle and Negan communicated over the walkie-talkies with Josh and Simon’s teams. Once everything seemed to be in order, Negan shouted at everyone to move out. The weapons stayed holstered and hung from belts and hid under pants legs, all except for Lucille who joyfully swung from side to side.

Talk quieted all the more as they got closer and closer before they finally met the road that traveled up the hill. They started forward, part of the group beginning to hang back and stopping fully as the gates came into view. The rest of them followed Negan up to the gates, the patrolling guards quickly gathering at the front.

Right away Javi could observe some schism within the community. A man with long hair seemed to want a defensive approach rather than welcoming them with open arms going by his stance and how he held his gun. However, for some reason others were arguing that. The man shook his head though, lightly shoved someone back when they tried to make him lower his gun, and then turned his full attention to the Saviors.

“Don’t come any closer! State your business!” the man yelled out. Some people backed him up while others hesitated and one woman ran into the community. Perhaps to get someone else in charge?

“Ah, does it have to be so official!?” Negan yelled back. “We’re just your fucking neighbors from over there. Why not be some hospitable fucks and pour us a glass?”

“Looks like there’s a lot more than a couple!” the man yelled back.

“What can I say?! I didn’t want you to end up taking some of my men as fucking hostages! Figured this fucking made us better equals.”

“How do you figure that? Because you seem to know us but I sure as hell don’t know you!”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that! We don’t even know what your community is called!”

“Hilltop! And you’re not welcomed!”

Negan began to step forward. “Now I don’t fucking think—”

The man fired at the ground, right in front of Negan’s feet. All the Saviors flinched and instinctively moved forward while also reaching for their weapons. Even Javi instinctively did that but Negan held up a hand, looking down at the now upturned dirt in front of him. Negan’s hand slowly lowered as he looked back up at the man at the same time. He cocked his head to the side, his lips slowly moving into a new smile.

“I don’t think it’s very polite to shoot at your neighbor’s feet.” Negan said it just loud enough for his voice to travel up to the man but it had certainly become a lot softer and a lot more deadly.

“You’re not getting in—”

A distant shout that Javi couldn’t fully hear had the long haired man stopping in his words. He looked back, his voice going hushed as he harshly shook his head. There definitely was some argument over who was in charge.

An older man finally came to stand beside the long haired one. They argued for a second, some clearly on edge and still keeping their weapons raised, supporting one of the men, while the others seemed to be easing up at the older man’s presence.

With the people arguing, Negan slightly turned back and grinned with all teeth. “Looks like we found our opening.”

Negan turned back around just as the older man stepped forward and said in a shaky breath, “Now I have to apologize for my friend’s attitude. If we’re neighbors then there shouldn’t be any reason for any antagonism between us.”

“My thoughts exactly!” shouted Negan.

“Y-yes! Yes please come in. Open the gates!”

“Now this is the fucking southern hospitality I was expecting!” shouted Negan. He walked forward again. Some of the guards still tensed but this time no one actively stopped him. “I fucking like you!”

“Well that’s good to hear,” the older man said, practically puffing up his chest at that and quickly nodding along with what Negan was saying.

It didn’t take a genius to see this was the guy they’d want to focus on. He just looked weasley and clearly didn’t have a spine. Considering the back and forth going on between the members of Hilltop, Javi guessed it was more a democracy. Changing that by putting this man ‘in charge’ would likely be the Savior’s best choice.

The gates opened slowly. People gathered around. Considering the other man’s defensiveness, Javi and the Saviors didn’t expect this to go that smoothly. They watched the other inhabitants carefully and reacted immediately when they predictably acted out.

The scuffle was short lived. Partially this was because the group of Saviors that had stayed a little behind came rushing forward, the numbers overpowering those that had chosen to fight. It was also helped by the fact that the community seemed somewhat divided over who to follow. Only three people died. After all, the goal wasn’t to destroy the community but to incorporate it. One of the deaths was on Javi’s hands. As a last resort, Javi grabbed his knife and stabbed the man in the gut before he had the chance to fire off his gun. Better to have a death on their side rather the Saviors’.

As the man began to die, Javi looked into his eyes. He imagined the guy had a family, at least friends, in this community. And if the Saviors hadn’t come, well he might have lived to see another day. But his death didn’t weigh heavily on Javi’s conscious. He couldn’t save everyone. He couldn’t help everyone. But he could further help the people he’d come to care about. He could create a stronger and safer community by taking from these people so he did. Maybe the man at the end of Javi’s knife would have done the same thing if their positions were switched. Maybe he would have been kinder and maybe he would have been crueler. The world no longer cared about that though. The world cared about survivors and that was what Javi was. It was what he was doing and ensuring.

The stranger slipped from Javi’s knife and hit the ground. Javi cocked his head to the side and looked at the quickly dying man for a few seconds before kneeling and knifing him in the head. He calmly stood up and flicked the knife once before wiping the rest on his pants. Then it was holstered again. He glanced over and saw Negan staring at him, a grin wide on his lips as he kept his arm around the older man from before. Though to be honest, the position looked more like a headlock.

Javi knew people were crying out. One had just screamed while a few shed noisy tears. People from both sides shouted words. But to Javi, the world was quiet and all he could hear was the small, breathy laugh that he could see escaping Negan’s lips from across the way. The smile turned softer for a few seconds and though Negan couldn’t have known for sure this would all happen, Javi could tell this was what he’d wanted.

Connor had been one thing. That had been done to prove loyalty and understanding. This had been done to show initiative, no matter how small.

And then the moment was broken and Negan’s smile was a full grin again. He didn’t even have time to say anything before the older man yelled, “It was all Paul’s idea! He planned it all! It’s his fault!”

The man in question tried to yell but the nearest Savior pushed him to the ground and shut him up.

“You all play nice now!” boomed Negan. “I’m gonna have a quick discussion with my new best friend here!”

He dragged the older man away. He was a guy who clearly wouldn’t have made it with the Saviors but in this instance, he was going to make a great pawn.

The rest of the occupation went without any more bloodshed. Negan talked to the older man who they found out was called Gregory and the Saviors carefully patrolled Hilltop, taking stock of everything they had, the gardens and scavenged materials and other resources. The takeover would be even easier now that Javi got a good view of everyone in the community. Not many of them were fighters and it was clear that the group inside the walls could easily overpower them, even without the help that waited outside the walls.

Near the end of their time there, Negan practically had a whole speech prepared when he forced the community together again. He basically gave Hilltop the same conditions as the Kingdom only there was no mention of doing the taking on more neutral ground, like outside the community. Negan also officially put Gregory in charge and said that if he had any complaints, then the Saviors would make sure to take care of them. The man was spineless and selfish enough that he clearly agreed with the terms. There was also less leeway given and Negan promised they’d be back in two weeks to take half their stock, no excuses. However, for payment of their immediate protection, the Hilltop would give them a good meal and a place to stay the night.

Obviously these people weren’t too happy about it but there wasn’t much else they could do. Not if they wanted their more able bodied fighters all maimed or killed.

Javi actually managed to sleep a little in the small encampment though he also quickly volunteered to be one of the men to keep watch after he managed to sleep for about three hours. He ended up on the walls, for now a mix of Hilltop people and Saviors. When the Saviors passed each other, they laughed and talked but the Hilltop people stayed quiet, probably still taking in all that had happened.

No fighting broke out, at least not that night, and when morning came they were able to easily leave. Negan said some final words before they actually left the gates, then he contacted the others, commanding Simon and a few men to stay in the area, both to watch the Hilltop’s immediate reaction and also to look for outposts in the area.

As for everyone else, it was finally time to go home. When they got nearer, Negan talked to Arat there and it seemed that everything had gone smoothly with nothing major happening while they were gone.

Thankfully a few of Arat’s men at the Kingdom had traded out with some of Aman’s men that had been left at the Sanctuary, meaning Clem was there when Javi got back.

“Everything go alright?”

“A few people died but no one on our side.”

“Did they have anything worthwhile?”

“No great gardens like the Kingdom but they’ll be useful for sure,” Javi promised. “I’m guessing things went smoothly at the—”

“Fucking spectacular! You’re both here,” Negan suddenly said, slapping Clem hard on the back and wrapping an arm around Javi’s shoulders. “I am deeply sorry that I have neglected both of you, leaving you on a fucking cliffhanger like that but I did have to deal with that shitty little community first. Now we have time to discuss business though. Follow me.”

Negan let go and started walking forward. Javi and Clem immediately followed. They looked at each other, both curious as to what this could be about as Negan kept his pace quick, for once not talking to everyone he passed. He went straight inside and up the stairs, both of them still close behind.

Once in his rooms, he gestured for his wives to immediately leave, both going to their own. Negan placed Lucille down before he sat, signaling for Javi and Clem to do the same.

“Now, I’m sure you’re both in fucking suspense right now, wondering what the fuck I was going to say those couple of days ago. But don’t you fucking worry. I’m telling now.”

“Are you? Because instead of telling us you’re just performing as usual,” Clem sarcastically said, her lips twitching up into a smile.

Negan grinned back. “Wanting to get straight to the fucking point, both of you. You know, if you’re going to stay, you’ll have to learn not everything has to be addressed fucking immediately. You can have a little fun beforehand.”

Javi’s brow furrowed. “Hold on, stay?”

“Hell yes! Your debts are fully paid. At least according to me and me is all that matters,” laughed Negan. “So you’re officially Saviors now. If you want.”

Javi opened his mouth to say he and Clem still needed to fully talk about this, only for Clementine to suddenly say, “No.”

“No?” asked Negan.

Javi resisted the urge to ask the same, just as surprised. There had to be a reason Clem was doing this, right?

“No,” repeated Clem. “We’ll be leaving today then.”

Silence fell over the room for a moment, Negan looking at them both. Javi had to resist the urge to say anything, for now just following Clem’s lead. The first noise that fell came from Negan as he leaned back on the couch, crossing his long legs in front of him and his arms across his chest. “Well shit! Talk about breaking my fucking heart. You know, normally I’d say you’d seen too much. After all, that shit has come back and bit us in the fucking ass before. But I like both of you too fucking much to kill you so…fine! You’re free. With any fucking luck, our paths will cross again.”

Negan’s eyes turned to Javi, silently asking him if this really was the plan. It was so tempting to say no, that he had no idea what was going on in Clem’s head. It was taking everything, keeping his mouth shut as Clementine slowly nodded next to him.

“You know…” Clem slowly said. “It would be wiser to kill us.”

Ok, now Javi really didn’t know what Clem was playing at!

“Oh, of course it fucking would! Doesn’t mean I’m taking back the offer though, unless you want me to kill you,” laughed Negan.

“Not really, though I’d argue next time, even if they did catch your interest, you should probably kill them before they leave anyways. We’ve certainly learned a lot that could end up harming the Saviors if we told another community.”

“What can I say, I’m a man led my big fucking heart.”

“Sometimes. But I know you know what I’m saying is true. It would be better to kill us than have us as a risk to your community,” said Clem. “But lucky for both of us, we’re not leaving.”

Negan quickly leaned forward again, clasping his hands together. He fully focused on Clementine, eye to eye as the grin turned to a rarer, softer smile. “One last fucking test, huh?”

“Yes.”

“So what did you want to hear?”

“For personal safety, I was curious if you’d actually let us leave. But if we are really to join this community, it needs to be fully protected and unnecessary risks to that safety shouldn’t be allowed.”

“You know, little Firecracker, you ain’t the fucking leader.”

“No, but as someone who is part of this community now, I’m determined for it to succeed. And that means no unnecessary risks.”

“Well, we can’t fucking know for sure until someone else comes along but I get what you mean,” grinned Negan. “It’s good to know you’re both staying. It’s people like you that’ll keep the Saviors going. That I at least know. So the verdict…”

“It’s a yes, from both of us,” Clem replied.

“Glad to fucking hear it! I think that means—”

“Actually, I have some things I need to discuss with Christopher. About the garden.”

“Uh, Clem—”

“Right to fucking work then! Go on. You got permission to leave.”

“I don’t—”

“Goodbye then Negan. Javi, I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Well I guess—”

“Bye!”

And before Javi could even fully finish a thought, she was out the door. Negan let out a booming laugh and Javi’s head quickly whipped around. Negan was grinning from ear to ear. “Now I know you weren’t planning for any of that shit to go down, huh? I bet you two didn’t even discuss shit!”

“To be fair…” Javi slowly said, “there wasn’t much point considering she knew I wished to stay. Clearly she planned the same thing, so…”

Negan laughed again, getting up and sitting next to Javi, resting his arms on the back of the couch.

“Though I can’t help but say it was a little unnerving having her argue our own deaths. Even if I did get why,” Javi added. “W-would you have killed us?”

“Hmm, not sure. She was making a pretty fucking good argument,” grinned Negan. “The good news is though, with you joined up, you don’t have to fucking worry about that. I am curious when you decided though. She was on the fucking fence up until that moment but you…I’m guessing you’ve decided for a while.”

“Clem um…she’s had experience with communities before. Good and bad. But I was on the road basically the whole time. Since the beginning. I thought it would be safer for my family, then safer for me and Clem but it probably got them killed and nearly killed me. I think I sort of decided early on just because I was fucking tired of moving all the time.”

“You’re too young to be fucking tired,” huffed Negan, even as his voice became lighter and kinder. “Though when we live in a world that makes parents bury kids and kids come back to eat their mother’s face off, I think you’re fucking entitled to being a little fucking tired.”

“Glad to know you gave me permission,” Javi sarcastically said, leading to them both laughing. Javi shook his head, a smile on his lips as he turned to Negan, only to realize the man was a lot closer than before.

“You know, seeing as you’ve paid off your debt to me, I think you’re entitled for some fun finally.”

“I-I-I should actually get back to work too because you know—”

“Well shit Javi, all you had to do was say,” Negan replied, sharply leaning back.

“No that’s-it’s not what I meant!” Javi immediately said. He’d instinctively grabbed Negan’s arm to keep the man from fully moving away, an action that he was quickly re-thinking going by Negan’s amused smirk. Javi quickly let go, moving back just a little as he said, “I just mean-I’m not saying no. I just…I guess I need time and um…I don’t really want to be some ‘wife’—”

“Oh don’t you worry. No way I could mistake a fine fucking husband like yourself for a wife,” grinned Negan, the flirting back on in full force.

“Well as flattering as that would be,” Javi said, laughing more from disbelief than actual humor, “I prefer to work for my share. I don’t want some cushy lifestyle.”

“Doe-Eyes, I hope you know that just made me even more turned on by you.”

“Well good to know because that’s the only reason I said it. I actually want a full king sized bed,” Javi said, barely able to get through that sentence without laughing, Negan doing the same. “But no! No I just…I get you have your loopholes and things but I don’t want to be one of those. You understand? The last thing I would want is some damn bonus points or special perks.”

Negan leaned in, his smile stretching wide, almost proud looking. “I fucking understand, you want to work. Then go on and get back to work.”

Javi breathed a sigh of relief even if there was a small part of him that had hoped Negan might say something else. “Understood,” Javi replied, quickly getting up and walking out.


	6. Supply Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to say a quick thank you as usual for reading! It means a lot and I'm glad people are enjoying. Also, I just wanted to say that I was planning on splitting this chapter in half. However, I didn't want to leave people on a cliffhanger with this so here it is in all it's glory!
> 
> I also managed to get this out a lot quicker and it's partially a lot longer because this was originally a one-shot I was trying to write before I started to think up a whole story around it. So technically, this was the first chapter I wrote.
> 
> Updates will still probably be slow, especially because I have school starting up again, but I'll write as often as I can and I look forward to getting to Rick's group and other new characters in the next chapter. I promise! It is the next chapter they'll be showing up in!
> 
> Anyways, thanks again and enjoy this extra long chapter!

There was a sense of pride that Clementine felt when she first told Tory, “I’m a Savior.”

“Well of course you are. You’ve been with us for—”

“No I mean like…officially. According to Negan, my debt’s been paid and Javi and I made our final choice. I’m a Savior-oomph!” Clem had almost toppled over as the older girl had hugged her and it had taken a good few seconds before Clem finally hugged her back.

She’d tried to keep herself from becoming too attached to others, always knowing that it would inevitably end in heartbreak. People left or they died or they lied and broke Clem’s heart. And she’d planned to never go through that again. Not after what David had done. Not after losing AJ.

Yet here she was again, risking the heartache and the pain. Because despite successfully living on her own for a time, the survival hadn’t been worth it, not without a friend to talk to, someone to laugh with, or simply the pleasure of not eating breakfast alone each morning. Lee had told her groups were dangerous and she’d seen the proof of that firsthand countless times over. However, she’d finally decided she didn’t want to keep surviving anymore. Not on her own. It was safer and in the end, she might end up living longer, but with that life she didn’t have anything to lose.

And she’d slowly come to remember that life wasn’t really worth it unless you had something to lose.

So after Clem had told Tory she was officially a Savior, she finally felt like she could say that one word again. She felt like she had a _family_ again. She had Javi and she had Tory. There was Arat and Katy and the kind nurse Molly and wise Christopher and loveable Fat Joey and just everyone. Even Negan she could look up to in fondness.

If it hadn’t been for him, then Clem wouldn’t be here at all. Javi would probably be dead and she’d be on the road again with nothing left to lose.

But not now. Now there was a possibility she could lose everything. A weaker person may have been crushed at that realization but Clem held onto it. It fueled everything she did. She was stronger because of it, more careful, more deadly. She didn’t hold back, not once from then on as she silently promised to do everything in order to protect the new people she had come to care about.

And as Clem got older, she was able to prove that strength and only gained more respect through it. When she’d first come to the Saviors at barely fourteen years old, her biggest failing had been her age. Despite all she’d proved, there had still been some who were unsure of her abilities. But with time she’d gotten older and had experienced even more events that had helped her to prove herself.

It had taken nearly half a year before she and Javi had officially become Saviors. Now over a year had passed and hers and Javi’s presence were no longer questioned. They had become as rooted as Arat or Dr. Carson and the odd looks people had given them at first had faded away completely. Of course, it didn’t mean everyone completely liked them and shit was said here and there. However, Javi and Clem had some choice things to say about others too so the criticism was fair enough.

But for the most part, when people hurried up to Clem, it was now to ask for help with something, to see if she knew where someone or something was. Her opinion mattered and finally she felt like she could take a break and have fun every now and again.

An example of taking it easy could be seen in the first summer Clem and Javi spent with the Saviors. It proved to be a good one, even with the fact that the walkers were at their most mobile during the warmer days. A large herd had also ended up coming through, but the Saviors hadn’t lost anyone because of it, and they’d been able to test one of the traps they’d set up on the highways too, so even that had been spun as a positive.

Overall the summer hadn’t been too hot so their own crops and those they received from the Kingdom and Hilltop hadn’t ended up still thriving. Putting Gregory in charge had reaped its own fruit too. Not only did him calling the shots split people up and weaken them, but he was so much more focused on his own self-preservation that he had immediately called out those who vocally expressed their discontent.

The lack of fighting from the sub-communities, the smart and effective ways they dealt with the herd of walkers, and the fact that they only lost two people total that entire summer, made it one of the best ones Clem had ever experienced since the end of the world.

She remembered the day Three had found an entire collection of comic books and had brought them back. Tory and Clem and Fat Joey had especially scrambled for them, Tory finally explaining to Clem the difference between a comic and a manga. Never had Clem seen something handled with more care, the comics funnily enough treated more carefully than batteries.

Even Negan had seen one when the box had been first brought in. It had been especially old and Negan had snatched it up before anyone could say anything. “Well I’ll be damned,” he had said, and then that one had disappeared for good.

Another great memory that Clem knew she’d hold onto was when one of Josh’s team had found a baseball.

When they’d first come, Javi’s fame had been a hot point of discussion. However, it had quickly waned, partially due to Javi’s casual, indifferent nature to his past now. That past came flooding back though with the baseball. Plenty of Saviors knew how to play baseball thanks to its popularity beforehand, and one had actually been on a team, though not as big as Javi’s. Several games had gotten started that summer and Javi had even taught Clem the basics.

They’d often used the nearest part of the highway, the area allowing them an easy view for any incoming walkers or other threats along with it providing the space needed for a game. Of course, the threats around them hadn’t disappeared when they played out there, but the time spent there felt incredibly normal in their fucked up world.

Clem remembered getting a homerun, or at least by Javi’s standard it had been a homerun.

“Oh it’s not far enough.”

“That doesn’t count! Tell her it doesn’t count.”

“Hey!” Javi had yelled, quickly quieting everyone. “Who’s the pro-baseball player?”

“Not you!” one had yelled back, leading to bouts of laughter from everyone even Javi.

“Ok, fair enough. But I’ve got the experience backing me up!” Javi had turned back around wrapping an arm around Clem. “And I say it was a fucking homerun!” He had patted her back and had gestured forward. “Now go run the bases. And take out that _muertos_ over there while you’re at it.”

Clem had rolled her eyes but had done just that. Her team had cheered as she’d dropped the bat and leisurely walked from base to base. She’d paused, slightly walking off the beaten path and effectively taking down the walker with a kick and a stab to the face. She’d then finished her lap, finally making it back to home.

Those days had been so much fun. Even Negan had come out once, his leather jacket driven away by the heat for the first time. When he hadn’t hit the first ball thrown his way, Clem and a few others had actually laughed, the noises coming out loud and unexpected. The laughter had been cut just as quickly though as Negan had glared at the pitcher like it was his fault. The poor man had quickly stood at attention, expecting some words to be said his way. But before Negan had been able to do anything about that or the man had been able to plead his case, Javi had walked over with a grin of his own.

“See, smashing a man’s head in isn’t quite the same as trying to hit a ball,” Javi had said, voice dropping lower as he’d gotten closer to Negan. The next few moments no one was able to hear, not even Clementine.

“For your information, I know how to handle balls. I was actually a fucking gym teacher.”

“ _La hostia_ , you and your language-wait, really?” For Clem and everyone else, they had just seen Javi’s face quickly turn red before going to a shocked look. No one actually heard his response.

“Don’t go using those fucking Doe-Eyes on me. That’s all the information you’re fucking getting. Now how about you get your ass over here and show me how it’s done?”

And Clem had continued to watch from her position, watching as Javi had walked over, first just trying to point out what was wrong with Negan’s stance but eventually getting closer until he was up against his back, kicking his legs into place.

That had been one of the first times Clem had actually seen them acting closer besides Negan’s usual flirtiness with people in general.

Over the summer Javi hadn’t specifically spoken up about what was going on between him and Negan. However, besides the fact that Javi had clearly gotten more comfortable and had gotten to actually responding to Negan’s actions, Clem was also still a teenager and it was just all really obvious. The fact that Javi had just gotten more shy about it and suddenly preferred not bringing it up at all also just proved Clem’s belief that their own relationship had been growing.

It was weird to her, but if he was happy then Clem had long since decided she wasn’t going to argue. After all, they both had decided to stay and it was ultimately Javi’s business.

Still, despite the not talking, the relationship ended up being one of the defining parts of the amazing summer Clem had. She was pretty sure Javi was in the process of falling if he hadn’t already done so, and she had friends again, people her own age or at least close enough. She worked the garden and visited the Kingdom and occasionally Hilltop, though they were usually under Simon’s jurisdiction. She patrolled the area and went on supply runs and got better at hunting. She learned how to play cards and improved her poker face and got to read at least fifty comics. And then, last but not least, she lived. She finally felt alive.

No more worrying about weak shelters or being on the run or being the small guy against the world. At least for now, Clem was on top of it and she was loving it.

So the ripples that moved with each day changed to waves for each week and they grew only greater as the months went by too. Summer finally changed to fall and so on, and as the problems of the walkers was beginning to lessen, food became the bigger issue as tensions increased between the communities. However, Negan managed to keep everything relatively calm. No one wanted an all out war and anyways, Hilltop and the Kingdom didn’t have the manpower to take the Saviors on. Even if they had known of each other and had gotten the chance to work together, it still wouldn’t have been enough.

The cold winds came and the crops died but the important thing was they were still managing to survive. Clem was still surviving.

Now it was January again. Clementine was fifteen and still growing. She had long since excepted that she’d never get tall or big enough to take down walkers or men like Javi or some of the other guys. However, with time she’d learned even more ways in how to use her size to her advantage. She was one of the most effective people on Arat’s team and went on nearly every scavenging mission or patrol that was outside the walls.

In fact, with the incoming supplies being lower from both the Kingdom and Hilltop, Clem was about to go on a scavenging mission now. There was a mix of people with her from several groups. Three was actually leading them as there weren’t any lieutenants with them, or he would have been except Negan had chosen to join them last minute.

As Negan had said, he’d been itching to stretch his legs. Arat and Simon were currently at the factory so he wouldn’t have to worry there and seeing as one of the other guys meant to go with them had gotten sick, the extra hands would be appreciated for the trip.

The rest of the men were getting in the back of the truck they’d be taking when Negan walked up to Clem.

“So obviously you can hop the fuck in if you want but I’m thinking we need a point and I think that should fucking be you.”

“Be point? There isn’t much reason to take another car unless other people are going.”

“I’m not thinking of a fucking car. I’m talking something with more god damn style!”

Clem frowned. It didn’t quite click what Negan was talking about, not until she heard the engine and saw someone ride it up to them. All those months ago…she’d completely forgotten about it. She couldn’t even remember seeing it once in the past months. She’d thought it had gotten turned into scrap. Clearly that hadn’t been the case.

“The bike!”

“Shit yeah! It’s been getting worked on for a fucking while but it’s all good and new now. So, want to take point?”

Clem couldn’t help the excited gleam that came to her eyes as she eyed it. “Definitely. We’re still avoiding the interstate, right? Heading East?”

“Exact same fucking plan as before. I’m just tagging along,” grinned Negan.

“Well let’s get going then,” replied Clementine. She took the bike from the guy, smiling at finally seeing it in its renewed form. She looked to Negan who nodded.

“Well fucking move it. We’ll see you there.”

Clem nodded, revved the bike, and then quickly sped off through the gates. The icy wind hit her face, the feeling exhilarating as she was met with utter freedom. She’d been studying the maps of their planned routes and scavenging areas up until they’d left so she knew exactly where to go.

She drove down the roads, only passing by dead things, walkers and plants. She first turned on a few roads they’d already scoured over before finally going off the beaten path a bit. The old county road she turned on was in even worse shape than the main one. Clem slowed down at one part where the cement had completely broken apart. She was about ready to slowly move around it and to continue on her way when she paused to look into the leafless trees. She squinted, staring at the brown twigs.

The motorcycle got turned off to prevent walkers from getting drawn to the area as Clem got off and slowly walked off the road. She looked at how the older trees were positioned, at the placement of the branches and their sizes. It was difficult to tell, and she certainly wouldn’t have spotted it if she hadn’t had to stop. But no, this had definitely been a dirt road at some point. Nature had quickly taken over again but the space was unnaturally more open than the rest of the forest.

Clementine took out her walkie-talkie. She didn’t usually carry one, there wasn’t enough to go around, but they were always standard issue for all members of any group that went outside the walls.

She turned it on and pulled the antenna up. “This is Clementine.”

She only had to wait a few seconds before the little speakers crackled to life. “Little Firecracker, you fucking found anything?”

“Maybe. There’s an over grown road off this county one. I’m going to check it out.”

She gave them directions for what road she was down and approximately how long she’d traveled down the county road before stopping. There was a large possibility she wouldn’t find anything and she’d probably be back on the road telling Negan just that before they even met up with her. However, she grabbed the bike and began to push it along anyways.

Thankfully the ground there was mostly flat. The plants that had grown up in the area were easy to push down and Clem made good time walking down the covered path.

She walked for about ten minutes before she thought she saw a structure ahead. Almost ten more minutes proved her right as she walked into a small clearing. It was some old park. Clem imagined that considering its size, it had been pretty popular for the mostly backwoods county. This had probably been a popular place for children. Clem probably would have loved it back in the day too, only now it had turned to pure rust and rotting wood.

Clem gave it a quick once over all the same. The dirt parking lot was empty, not a single car to search. She then went through the small bathroom area and around the picnic tables they had but found nothing there. Before leaving, she then climbed up into the playground upon hearing a soft, moaning nose.

She wasn’t surprised that it turned out to be a walker but she did stop and stare at it for a moment as it struggled to get at her. It was on the wooden part and one of the legs had fallen through a particularly rotted out area. Clem couldn’t tell if that had happened before or after it had turned. The walker’s position wasn’t that important though seeing as it couldn’t get her anyways. What had grabbed her attention was the walker’s size.

It was a kid.

Whether they’d been a boy or girl, Clem couldn’t tell anymore but judging by its size, it had been around ten years old when it had died and turn. That was so close to the age Clem had been when everything had started. What if Lee had never come? What if this had been her, only instead of a playground it had been a tree house she’d been stuck in? It was odd to see such a thing, to make that connection and Clem wasn’t sure how to—

“Clementine, ya find anything?”

The walker growled more at the noise, trying to reach farther but failing as Clem shook herself out of her thoughts. She unhooked the walkie-talkie. “Give me a second.”

She walked over and quickly killed it. The walker had a backpack on so Clem went through it, finding mostly worthless junk but was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t a total waste. She transferred the items into her own bag and started to head back to the bike as she took out the walkie-talkie again.

“I got a can of beans, a nice pair of scissors we could probably do something with, and a small box of band-aids but trust me, we’re not going to find anything else here. I’m heading back to the county road and then I’m continuing northeast down it.”

“Understood.”

Clem hooked the walkie-talkie back on right as she got to the bike. She started to push it back through the brush before hitting the road again. Negan and the others still hadn’t quite caught up but then that was kind of the point of being point so to speak. She continued heading away from the Sanctuary. It only took about fifteen more minutes before she saw an old, broken sign for the playground now behind her. She wondered if there had been another one back the way she’d come, only it had become completely overgrown by nature.

The wind picked up a bit, the air growing colder and colder. At one point, Clem pulled her scarf up over her face to better protect herself. Occasionally she saw something that might be promising and she stopped and radioed Negan. Usually nothing actually came of the things though and even if there were some small things Clem told them they could pick up, she was always back on the road before the rest of them caught up.

The biggest thing she found besides simple knickknacks and small tools was a car that actually looked in decent shape. She’d passed several on the way, not surprising, but all had looked beyond repair. This one was only missing a wheel and was out of gas but otherwise looked pretty intact. At that one, she radioed Negan about it and he replied that they might be able to grab one of the tires off one of the abandoned cars they’d been passing. Perhaps if they could get the car working it would prove their best find.

It turned out to be the right call. The battery was even in decent shape, just needing a jumpstart from the truck. Clem heard on the walkie-talkie that one of the guys was going to go ahead and drive it back to the Sanctuary, meaning they were down to six people in their little group, five if they didn’t include Clem.

Because of the stop for the new car, Clementine ended up being almost an hour ahead of them when she finally came across something more promising than a set of wheels.

She had turned on two different sets of county roads, making sure to give Negan detailed descriptions of the changes in her path. Now it looked like she was heading into a small neighborhood. The town the houses had probably been a part of had most likely been slowly dying out for years, with these small clusters of broken homes and rundown trailers being all that was left. However, after passing a few, Clem noted that the damage she was seeing looked to be weather based. Oddly enough, there weren’t any obvious signs of broken windows and kicked in doors. Was it possible that the little area hadn’t been raided yet?

Even with that in mind, Clem carefully drove through the area, only stopping once it was well behind her in case anyone was there. She pulled the bike off the side of the road, quickly hiding it in the dead brush and twigs.

“Negan,” she said into the walkie-talkie, “I think I may have found something more promising. There could be some supply stashes but there could be people here too.”

“Check it out but be fucking careful. We’re still headed your way.”

“Understood,” Clem murmured, putting the walkie-talkie back. She double checked again that the bike was completely invisible from the road before taking note of its placement. She then slowly made her way back, staying parallel to but still off the main road.

Several long, silent minutes passed as Clem’s breath visibly left her lips and nostrils, traveling up before finally dissipating in the cold. She was going to make sure no one knew she was around just in case, even if that meant having to walk for over ten minutes to get back to where the homes started. As she walked closer to the first home, she carefully surveyed the area. It took a while before she actually felt comfortable going near, deciding to go in a window which she carefully pushed up.

Clem slipped in and immediately went to the obvious places like the cabinets. Nothing of value was there so Clem checked the odder places. She felt for secret hatches in the floors and walls, pulled out the couch cushions. Still nothing but Clem decided to try just a few more places before she would decide to move on to the next house. She looked around, trying to figure out what was the most useless thing there and what would immediately be ignored.

Her eyes lighted on the large, box TV. She got both of her hands around it, ready to move it out of the way only to freeze. She felt up and down the back just to make sure but, no, there wasn’t anything there. She quickly dragged it around to see that it was hollow and inside was a relatively good stash of food. However, a smile didn’t break out across Clem’s face. The placement of supplies was so carefully hidden that now Clem was positive people had to live here. Unless they had just gotten bitten by a walker this morning, someone was going to be coming back for this.

Before contacting Negan, Clem quickly headed to the second nearest home, this one actually a trailer. Part of the wood beams that had held it up had broken down on one side causing it to slant over. Clem kept using windows to get in, most facing away from the other homes and hopefully keeping her better concealed.

She looked in the usual and not so usual places again before finally focusing on the TV again. It was just like the other one, hollowed out and full of supplies. Was this a large group of people with families still living in each home with their supplies or was it a much smaller group and they had just spread their supplies over the multiple homes to lower the likelihood that everything would get stolen at once? Clem hoped it was the latter. The fact that there didn’t seem to be anyone there also supported that as a small group may have all left but in a much larger group it would have made more sense to leave at least someone behind.

After looking over what was in this TV, most of it still food but some tools as well, she contacted Negan.

“I found two stashes in two separate homes, both hidden in the exact same way. I don’t know if there’s one in every home but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s at least one, maybe two more of these lying around. It’s worth getting and two much for me to carry alone. How close are you?”

Clementine headed out of the house, closing the window when she left. She started to head to the next home. She put the walkie-talkie to her face again.

“Over?” she sarcastically said, wondering if that was what Negan wanted. Clem waited a few more seconds and quickly added, “Negan, what’s your response? Do you want me to stay or move on?”

This time when there was no response, Clem slowed to a halt. She looked at the walkie-talkie, only to abruptly turn and book it back to where she’d hidden the motorcycle. She pushed her legs as hard as she could, not caring who might have been in the vicinity to see her now. She managed to cut the walk time by more than half when she got to the bike. Right as she turned it on and had swung her leg over, the walkie crackled back to life.

Clem grabbed it, jolting at the gunshot that she heard before Negan was heard shouting, “Heard you loud and clear! Pretty sure we’re talking to the fuckers right now!”

Clem heard several more gunshots before she clicked the button and replied, “Did we lose anyone?”

“Not fucking yet!” yelled Negan as Clem drove back up and onto the road.

“Got it. I’m on my way,” Clem replied, hooking the walkie-talkie back before pushing the throttle as hard as it could go.

She was practically pushing the bike to its limit, only skidding to a stop so that she could make the first turn. She revved up again and sped down the next road. As she drew closer, the first thing she heard were the gunshots, loud and echoing in the forest. Then the shouting of men and women as she finally saw what had forced Negan and everyone to stop.

It was like what she’d done to Javi all those years ago, only the truck had stopped in time and there weren’t ditches on the side of the road. One of the side windows was shattered and Clem could see some bullet holes in the metal but no signs of blood. The shooting started up again, somewhere off to the side. At the very least it seemed she’d been right that it was a smaller group. Otherwise Negan and Three and the others wouldn’t have had a fighting chance.

Clem left the bike and rushed into the woods. One of the branches cut into her face as she ran through. She quickly fell behind a tree just as she saw someone hiding behind another tree up in front of her. It wasn’t one of their men so Clem swiftly took her knife out. The longer this other group didn’t know she was there, the better. Just as the woman was distracted, moving around the corner to fire at others far off in the distance, Clem jumped onto her back and buried the knife into the base of her skull. She quickly used the woman’s cover, peaking around to try and figure out where everyone was.

The bullets started to slow and she heard one of the Savior’s shout, “You give this up now and maybe all you sons of bitches won’t die today!”

“I don’t think so!”

“You’re making a big mistake!” Another Savior’s voice. Maybe Three’s.

“We intercepted your fucking radio! We know you were going to end up trying to steal from us!”

“We’re still going to fucking do that anyways!” And that was definitely Negan’s voice.

Clem watched as another Savior in a completely different direction from the Savior’s voices popped out and fired at one spot. Someone from the other group way off in the distance did the same. It looked like everyone was split apart. Clem wasn’t sure if that would be a good or bad thing.

Then someone else shouted, the authority in her voice suggesting she was the other group’s leader. “Final assault! Kill these fuckers now!”

Bullets began to fly again and people began to move around. Clem acted quickly, going towards what seemed to be the nearest person. If it was a friend, she’d cover their back, and if it was a foe she’d shove her knife in them.

She quickly found it was a foe. He was pointing his gun at what looked like Negan. Clem grabbed him, throwing them both to the ground. The man started to overpower her but Clem immediately bent down and bit his hand. The man screamed, his voice blending in with the rest of the bullets and shouting. Clem slammed his head against the forest floor. She took the short seconds of respite to grab her knife again but the man just barely caught her hand before she could thrust downwards.

Without really aiming, Clementine transferred all her weight and force from her legs to her upper body. The other man’s arms crumpled at the sudden shift and Clem’s knife slammed into his neck. Blood sprayed over her, the warmth of it a stark contrast to the ever increasing cold. Clem brought the knife back, stabbed the man in one of his eye sockets, and then quickly went looking for Negan.

It didn’t take long for her to spot him. He saw her at the same time, suddenly stepping out and pointing his gun behind her. Clem instinctively hit the ground. Negan’s shots blended with the others and at first, the cry of pain couldn’t be distinguished. Clementine was looking behind her, at the man that had just fallen with a gunshot to the neck. He was still in the process of dying but definitely wasn’t going to get up again.

Since she didn’t have to worry about that threat for now, she quickly focused back on Negan. Clem ran to his side, only to realize that the cry had come from him. When he’d stepped out to protect her, someone else had managed to get him in the leg. He was fully supporting himself against the tree, blood streaming down his right side as he peaked out from behind his cover.

“We need to get you out of here,” Clementine hurriedly said, already going to support him as much as she could.

“No fucking way. We finish these fucks off first and then we leave!”

“Let the rest of the guys handle it then! You’ve been shot we need to—”

“I’ve never left a fucking job unfinished and I ain’t doing that shit now! We’re-oh fuck!”

Clem had known this would happen. Really, everyone had but they’d all been so focused on shooting at each other that they hadn’t noticed the walkers getting drawn in. There seemed to be more coming from the direction of the road. Clem probably could have ran between them but it was too big of a risk with Negan’s leg.

“We’re going this way,” Clementine growled out, grabbing Negan’s arm hard and tugging him in the opposite direction. Obviously if he hadn’t wanted to, Negan could have easily torn away from her grip. However, with the appearance of the dead his senses had come back and he quickly followed.

“Hey! Some of those fuckers are trying to run!”

Clem and Negan ducked behind a fallen tree where Clem immediately started to pull Negan down the slight slope.

“This way,” she hurriedly whispered. “Now.”

They stayed low as they started to head down the slight slope. The slope turned into a small drop, like it had been created by a ravine. Both Clem and Negan dropped down only it seemed the wound was hurting Negan a lot more than he was trying to put on. He collapsed just as a walker came at them, Clem barely getting her hands up in time.

She struggled for a second, just barely keeping its mouth from ripping into her cheek. Negan managed to get up and grabbed the walker by its shoulders, pulling it back and giving Clem just enough time to grab her knife again and kill it.

Clem took several deep breaths only to spot more walkers headed their way.

“We need to move—”

“Lie down.”

“What?!”

“Now!” Clementine demanded, shoving Negan just a bit.

Thankfully he complied. It was also a good thing the walker Clem had just killed was relatively new and not just skin and bones yet. It was incredibly cold but the smell was still there and Clem quickly went ripping into it. She didn’t have to explain to Negan what she was doing. He followed her lead and as more walkers got near, Clem finally lay on top of Negan’s chest and dragged the walker on top of both of them just for good measure.

Most of the walkers just continued their straightforward direction from where the gunshots had come from but one changed direction and slowly moved towards them. Clem stopped breathing and she could feel Negan do the same underneath her.

It lumbered closer and closer, its upper body bending forward in an unnatural way. This one didn’t have eyes, leaving Clem and Negan to stare into the almost frozen, rotting sockets. Its teeth clacked together as Clem’s eyes burned from the winter cold, not even daring to move the small bit needed to blink.

Its head slowly turned, left and right as the pressure in Clem’s lungs continued to build. Her chest started to burn as she came closer and closer to just gasping out for air. She wasn’t going to be able to hold on for much longer. She’d need to breathe just once. Just once or her lungs would surely burst. Oh god they were going to explode. She couldn’t keep it in anymore and the walker would know—

But just then it finally turned away, righting up and slowly following after the others. Clem watched it go, her cheeks starting to turn purple when she finally exhaled. She’d kept it in for so long that she couldn’t help but start coughing, Negan doing the same from underneath her. She wearily rested her head against his chest, feeling him first knock the dead walker on top of them off before he slapped her on the back once.

“Good…fucking…thinking…Firecracker.”

“Thanks,” Clem gasped, rolling herself off and blinking rapidly to try and get her eyes moist again.

Negan pushed himself up, leaning against the dirt wall. He looked upwards and said, “No more fucking gunshots. Whatever’s happened is fucking done.”

Clem felt along her belt only to suddenly realize the walkie-talkie wasn’t there. “Shit! It must have fallen off somewhere. Yours?”

Negan pulled it out. Well, half of it. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck,” sighed Clementine. She pushed herself back onto her feet, climbing up so she could peak back up and into the forest. “Still a lot of walker movement but I don’t see any of our guys, or theirs.”

“We need to get back to the fucking road.”

“Not yet. We need to wait for the walkers to clear out a bit more.”

“The longer we wait the more likely the truck will be gone.”

“It’s probably already gone and in your condition, you can’t run anyways. We wait.”

“We need to fucking move—”

Clem dropped back down to her knees so she was eye level with Negan. “You listen here. You’re the big man and you may like to think that qualifies you to call all the shots but it doesn’t. This is a crap situation but right now you need to be saved from your own hubris because the chances of you making it through those walkers on that leg are slim to none and I refuse to go back to the Sanctuary without you. So when I say we wait, we fucking wait, got it Negan?”

For a split second, Negan actually looked shocked before his usual shit eating grin spread across his face. “Fucking fair enough little Firecracker. You call the fucking shots. So what next once we finally get through that shit up there?”

“We’re going to need to find shelter before we can hope to get back to the Sanctuary or for someone to come and find us.” She paused, holding out her arm so she could better see the small, white specks that were starting to fall. “It’s going to snow.”

* * *

Javi was at the outpost near the Kingdom for several days when suddenly Aman put someone else in charge and left. Though other, smaller missions didn’t always have a lieutenant, the outposts were always supposed to have at least one leading it at all times. What the hell could be going on that required Aman’s attention?

What few questions Javi asked couldn’t be answered what with everyone else being in the dark too. It wasn’t until two days after Aman left that Javi found anything out. The shift change occurred and with it, a change of information passed too.

Negan and Clementine were missing. They’d been missing for two whole days.

It was a good thing Javi wasn’t the one tasked with driving. He wouldn’t have been able to keep his eyes on the road. A few people tried to talk to him, some more sorrowful with others trying to encourage hope. However, it was only really once they were in the Sanctuary and Katy had come up to him that Javi finally reacted. He’d probably grown closest with her thanks to their shared time in the med ward together, and when she’d hugged him, Javi had just held on as tightly as he could.

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts as he asked, “Does anyone know what happened? What about the other people on the run?”

“They managed to make it back. Said they thought they’d killed off the majority of the other group.”

“Then why hasn’t anyone gone back—”

“They have. They’ve been searching the area relentlessly but they think Clementine and Negan moved out of the area because of the sudden snowfall we’ve been having. One of them mentioned that Clem had found something that might have been useful, they’d fixed the motorcycle and she was running point, but they couldn’t remember the directions Clem gave them if she did during those last moments. Besides, they think they’re trying to make their way back instead. The scouts that have been sent out have been working off that assumption and have been mostly focused on the forest areas. Though from the sounds of it, that’s going to change.”

“Yeah, because I’ll be out there and I’m not sleeping until—”

“No, Javi you don’t get it. Simon is trying to stop the searches. He tried to find them, but now he’s prepping for the next step.”

“He-he tried?! It hasn’t—” Javi had to stop himself so that he wasn’t just shouting for anyone and everyone to hear. “It hasn’t even been a week!” he angrily hissed.

“I know, but he’s made some good points. It’s winter. Times are automatically harder now than they are any other time of the year. In just two days we’ve already wasted a lot of time just looking for two people, even if one of them is the leader. I’m sure you can guess what Negan would say if the situation was reversed.”

“Are you trying to suggest a time when Negan wasn’t in control because that’s pretty hard to imagine.”

Katy rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. The group is more important than the one. It’s a philosophy that a lot of people here have come to believe under Negan, and Simon is using that to his advantage.”

“Of course he is,” huffed Javi. He begrudgingly admitted, “It’s pretty damn smart.”

“Exactly. Why do you think he’s been Negan’s number one guy for so long?”

Javi just shook his head. “But he has four other lieutenants to fight for that spot. If he actually tries to take over, it’s just going to cause fighting from within. And like you said, it’s winter. This is probably the worst time this could happen.”

Katy nodded. “Well, thankfully we’re not the only ones who understand that. Arat’s arguing that point right now. She’s got Josh backing her up with both of them trying to come to a compromise. They’re saying we should keep searching but we should also return to our normal routines as much as possible. But Josh won’t be enough and there’s always the possibility that those under them could come to support someone else if an actual fight breaks out. I know Dwight is backing Simon, no surprise there. And neither Honey nor Sherry have directly spoken out but most people have assumed Sherry will try something if Negan doesn’t come back. Honey’s just panicking though. Everyone knows she won’t be able to survive unless Simon or whoever takes over is willing to have loopholes too. The whole situation is making everyone feel on edge.”

“Damn it,” growled Javi. His mind worked quickly and it only took him a few more moments before he focused on Katy again. “Can you tell me where Negan and Clem last were?”

“Better, I can show you. All the maps and everything are still in the war room. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that the reason no one has found anything is because they’re trying to think like Negan and I can completely see Negan walking back, whistling all along the way. He’d want to move. Clem would have wanted to find somewhere near to wait things out. Especially if either of them got hurt. If I can look at the area I bet you I can figure out exactly where they went.”

“You think Negan would be willing to listen to Clementine?”

“If there is one person in this world that could shut Negan up and make him listen, I think it would be her.”

Katy snorted. “Not even you?”

If the situation wasn’t so dire, Javi might have gotten flustered but all he said was, “It’s not like that. Can you take me to the maps now?”

Katy just nodded, quickly turning and guiding Javi into the factory. They rushed to the war room, seemingly stepping in during the middle of a meeting. All the lieutenants were there along with a few random people. All stopped and turned, staring at them.

“Well speak of the fucking devil. Katy, we were just talking about you,” Simon said, turning around with crossed arms.

Arat gave him a warning look as Katy replied, “We’re just here to look over the maps.”

“Ah, what? The fucking boy toy thinks he can find them?”

Javi didn’t rise to the bait. He silently walked over to the side table and started to look at the markers. Katy came to stand by him.

“What? At a loss for words? I bet you have no fucking idea what you’re—”

“Hey, he’s my guy Simon,” Aman suddenly shot back. “Lay off.”

“What? So you want this Mexican fuck to find Negan? I thought you were going to fight me for the crown.”

“We need to work together right now.”

“Really? Because you haven’t agreed to following Arat like pussy boy Josh over here did.”

“Hey! Unlike you, I’m focusing on the whole of this community, not just the damn power vacuum,” Josh shot back.

“If that’s true then how about you side with someone who’ll get shit done and not someone who just cares about the fucking pass she gets for her cancer ridden girlfriend.”

Like Javi, Katy remained focused on the maps, even though it caused Arat to finally speak up. She stepped closer to Simon. “She pulls her weight. She’s earned her place here.”

“Well, I’ll sure as hell give you that. It’s better than Negan’s fucking chosen toys.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to speak about Clementine like that either,” growled Arat.

“Fuck you Simon!” yelled Aman.

“Urgh, just tell me what you really think,” sighed Javi, eyes still fully trained on the map in front of him.

“Ah, no hard feelings kid,” smirked Simon. “I’m doing what I have to.”

“And so…am…I,” Javi said with a sense of finality as he tapped a spot on the map. “I’m going to need one of the cars.”

“Take Three and Janet with you. They were on the mission when it went south,” Aman quickly said. Arat looked at him with an arched brow. “What? Just because I don’t want to follow your ass doesn’t mean I don’t want Negan found.”

“Just be prepared boy toy. You come back alone and it’s me you’ll be getting fucking orders from,” Simon replied.

“We’ll see,” Javi evenly replied.

“Katy, go with them. Make sure Clementine gets back,” Arat softly said.

Katy nodded, quickly following Javi out the door.

As they rushed down the stairs, Javi said, “You know, I’m surprised they haven’t pulled out their guns on each other.”

“They know that doing so would be suicide. Even with all the arguing,” Katy replied. “If one lieutenant kills another, it’s not just one gun going off. Every gun behind those two lieutenants will go off. Others will get caught in the crossfire and then it’ll all go down. Even with Simon’s talk, he doesn’t want to be king of the ashes. I’m guessing he’s even hoping we do find Negan. For now it’s a much smarter solution than any one of them actually declaring themselves leader.”

“Ah, so he didn’t mean all those nasty things he said about me?”

“No, he meant those.”

Javi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I was being sarcastic.”

“You know most people don’t actually care. Simon is probably a lot more indifferent to it too. It’s just something he can throw in the face of others at the moment.”

Javi nodded in understanding.

“Listen, I’ll get the vehicle and some supplies while you find the others if you want.”

“Sure.”

Javi quickened his step as they broke off from one another. He asked around, it not taking long before he found Three and Janet. They met up near the front gate, Katy in the truck and waiting. Going by the recent bullet holes in it, Javi guessed it was the same truck they’d driven out in. The other two got in the back and just as Javi got in the front, his eyes widened at what he saw near his feet.

“He actually fucking left Lucille behind?”

“From the sounds of it, he didn’t have a choice. A baseball bat wasn’t going to do anything against a bunch of guns. Besides, it’s just a bat. If Negan really had to, he could make another one.”

There was a time when Javi would have completely agreed with that but after being around Negan even more, he’d grown to understand Lucille’s importance a lot better, even if Negan had never openly spoken about it. Javi just shook his head and decided to focus on the task at hand. The gates opened for them, the orders from Aman and Arat having already been passed along.

As Katy drove out onto the road, she asked, “So, want to explain where we’re heading?”

“You know how it makes more sense to try and find what you know rather than going towards the unknown?”

Katy nodded.

“Well, I’m betting Clementine didn’t go towards the unknown. She ran point and found something.”

“Yes, but it could have been some backwoods shed.”

“True, but I was looking at that map. There are two towns near here. It’s reasonable that she ended up at one of those.”

“They’re probably picked clean by now.”

“Probably, but Clem might have found something like a proper stash. Not just leftovers. And if she found a stash—”

“She might have found where those people that attacked the truck were hiding out,” Katy finished.

“Exactly which is why we need to hurry. You said they hadn’t found any more people in their searches for Negan but that doesn’t mean there weren’t more of them.”

Katy nodded. She leaned over, pulling out one of the many maps in there and handed it to Javi. “Which one do you want to go to first?”

Javi wrapped on the window to the back of the truck and then pulled it open. “Three, are you sure you don’t remember which way Clem said she went?”

“No man. I’d just be guessing if I tried to tell you. When the gunfight broke out, that was the last thing I was thinking of.”

“It’s fine. I get it,” Javi sighed. He kept the window open but slumped forward. He looked back and forth on the map and then finally pointed to a random one. “We’ll look here first. Then here.”

Katy nodded. “Sounds good.”

Silence then filled the truck. The only words that were said were directions. They slowed a little, going through the stretch where the fighting had occurred. The tree that had stopped the truck in the first place had already been moved to the side by one of the other search teams. They got out at one point and looked around just to make sure, but Javi still thought that the nearby towns were more realistic. They got back in and quickly went to the first town.

A fresh cover of snow was starting to fall when they got out and started to walk around the small, hick place. Janet stayed with the truck as the rest of them split up. Javi was careful, making sure no _muertos_ popped out of the snow and that there weren’t any people hiding in the rundown homes and buildings they passed.

Javi was going through his sixth building when he just stopped. He’d found all this out so suddenly, he’d been so focused on just getting a plan, getting out on the road, finding them, he hadn’t really allowed himself to acknowledge the emotions that had started to grow in his chest.

It happened fast, him grabbing his bat and just suddenly slamming it against a bookshelf. The useless items that had been left behind years ago broke and fell to the floor as Javi hit it again and again, each breath coming out pained and heaving.

He had to eventually place his bat against the ground, using it to support himself as he just tried to breathe.

But even as he wanted to yell, wanted to cry, he still didn’t allow himself to become blind to the situation and he looked up at hearing the door open. He didn’t have to reach for his gun though, being able to see that it was Katy coming in from the view of the window.

She walked up and looked around at the even more messed up room before she murmured, “You really do care.”

“Of course I fucking do,” growled Javi. “Clem is the only family I have left. I’ll be damned if I—”

“I knew you did about Clementine. Everyone knows how close you and Clementine are to each other. I was talking about Negan.”

“Oh.” Javi quieted and looked elsewhere.

“You don’t have to talk about it. I just thought it was something fun. For the both of you. I think most people assume it is.”

“It’s probably all it is,” Javi murmured.

“But you don’t see it like that,” Katy replied. She cocked her head to the side, thinking about her words carefully before she finally said, “Negan likes to appear invincible, but you saw how the lieutenants were acting. Even Arat, who wants him back, has chosen to argue things out with her fellow lieutenants. She doesn’t have any interest in searching for him herself. Sherry is always playing both sides. If Negan is dead, she’ll use it to her advantage and if he’s alive, she’ll use that. She doesn’t actually care. Neither does Honey and her wellbeing is arguably more affected than Sherry’s considering her lack of skills.”

“Is there a point to this or…”

“I’m just saying, no one personally cares about Negan. And he knows this and he’s never really cared. He thinks he’s invincible because of it but he’s not. It’s actually the exact opposite. So having someone who wants to look for him and not just for some power play, it’s surprising but I think it’s good too. Even if it’s only one-sided.”

“Not if. I know it’s one-sided but…” Javi shrugged. He took a shaky, deep breath. The anger and fear was still there but Javi was able to get control of it again. He pushed it down and finally focused on Katy. “It doesn’t matter though because I’ll bring them home.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Katy started to leave the house. She held the door open for Javi and he followed. “I don’t think they’re here but we should still finish looking under every rock just in case.”

“Agreed. Let’s try and finish here though before this snow gets any heavier.”

* * *

Clem had worked quickly as she went into full survival mode. She’d used the scissors she’d found earlier to cut part of her shirt up so that she could wrap up Negan’s wound. Nothing major seemed to have been hit and with the makeshift Band-Aid, it had seemed to slow and finally stop the bleeding. Then Clem had taken stock of what weapons they still had. Negan’s gun was almost out of bullets and he didn’t have another clip with him. Thankfully Clem had avoided using hers during the fight so she cocked that when it came time to go. She would have preferred to use a knife but that required getting close to walkers and people and she didn’t want to do that, what with her partially supporting Negan.

A thin layer of white had started to form over everything when they finally started to head back to the road. Unsurprisingly the truck and bike were gone. Clem just hoped one of the Saviors had grabbed the bike because she was going to be damn right pissed if she’d already lost it after less than a day’s use.

Negan didn’t argue when they started to go in the direction away from the Sanctuary. She’d made it pretty clear that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer right now.

They didn’t talk as they walked on the snow covered ground and back towards the small cluster of homes. What had taken her minutes to race down at nearly eighty miles an hour took them the rest of the day to get back to. They didn’t pass anyone living and the few walkers were as good as completely frozen as the temperature continued to drop. It had gotten dark hours ago by the time they spotted one of the houses in the distance, but thankfully the clouds had scattered some since then. The light of the nearly full moon bounced off the snow, giving them just enough light to find their way.

Clem had Negan rest on the steps as she went and did a quick sweep of the home. Once she confirmed no one was there, she helped Negan inside and then immediately went to the TV. When she pulled it out and turned it around to reveal another cash, Negan said, “So that’s what you fucking meant. What with all the fucking guns going off I couldn’t make heads or tails of the shit you said.”

“Well thankfully this house had one too. There’s food but doesn’t look like anymore medical supplies,” Clem sighed.

“Hey, it stopped fucking bleeding, didn’t it?”

“That doesn’t exactly mean we’re out of the woods yet. Besides, the bullets still in you.”

“Probably for the fucking best though. Would have bled the fuck out if it—”

Negan suddenly stopped as Clem grabbed her gun and pulled it out just in time for a woman to come out through one of the home’s doors with a gun of her own. She must have climbed in through one of the windows like Clem had done before. “Shit!”

“I could say the same thing,” muttered Clementine with a narrowed look.

“You…you’re the bastards who killed my fucking men.”

“Yeah, well ours abandoned us so I’d say we’re in the same boat here,” Clem immediately replied.

“We are not in the same boat.” The woman pushed forward, clearly ready to shoot but Clem quickly got out, “I can offer you something more useful than our corpses.”

Negan stayed eerily quiet for once, watching it all unfold.

“Like fucking what?”

“Someone to watch your back,” replied Clem. She slowly started to lower her gun. “Listen, from the sounds of it, you’re alone now. So are we. Yeah, we were trying to steal from you but it’s survival, right? You would have done the same.”

The woman snorted at that but didn’t argue.

“I’m just saying that this time of year is one of the worst times to be alone. We’re more likely to survive if we work together now.”

The woman looked behind Clem at Negan. She lowered her gun just slightly. “Looks like he won’t be surviving much longer either way.”

Clem glanced back, noting that Negan hadn’t drawn his gun and it actually wasn’t in sight at all, hidden by his clothes. Her face turned carefully blank as she thought about the woman’s words.

Negan’s eyes widened. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

Clem turned back to the woman. “Then how about just the two of us then? Who says we need him?”

“You little fucking bitch!”

Clem didn’t turn around, hearing as Negan tried to stand and then fell back down with a pained cry.

“I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Shit happens in this world and you have to take advantage of it while you can,” Clementine said over Negan’s cursing. She holstered her gun and held out her hand. “What do you say?”

“You know kid…I think you’ve got a point.” The woman fully lowered her gun. “But what’s to say you won’t stab me in the back?”

“I’m just trying to survive,” Clementine replied. “As long as you’re linked to that, you don’t have a thing to worry about. Besides, you’re now the only one with a gun out. That trust has to go a little way, right?”

Silence fell for a bit, even Negan stopping as he got through several long, labored breaths. The woman thought about it before she finally holstered her own gun. “I like your guts kid. Fine, but you try any shit with me and I’ll kill you.”

“Hey, that’s fair enough.” Clem stretched her hand out farther. “Besides,” she laughed, “it’ll be nice working with someone proper after dealing with these pricks for so long.”

“You little pussy ass bitch!”

Clem ignored Negan’s shout, focusing completely on the woman as she stepped forward and held out her hand. “Then let’s start this partnership by shutting that asshole up. Huh?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Clem replied. Her hand shot out, grabbing the woman’s. She pulled her forward, causing her to go off balance for a second as Clem caught her by surprise. The knife the woman had been trying to coyly pull out with her left hand clattered to the floor as Clem pulled out her own knife and stabbed her in the stomach.

She screamed, trying to grab a hold of Clem, but it was useless now.

“Hey, if it’s any consolation, I didn’t stab you in the back,” Clem replied as the woman finally fell to the ground. It didn’t take much effort to stab her in the head, her body finally stilling beneath Clementine.

“Atta girl,” Negan murmured.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit,” replied Clem as she got up and went to sit by Negan with a huff. “You immediately played along and didn’t take out your gun thankfully. And you crying out helped to sell it, I think. She probably would have been more on guard if she thought you could hop to your feet.”

“Wasn’t exactly all a fucking act if that’s what you’re damn well thinking,” huffed Negan.

“Right. I’ll go look for the other supplies. Hopefully there’s something that can help you.”

“And if there’s someone else from their group out there?” asked Negan. “She was trying to string you along too. You just happened to be faster.”

“I think they’re all dead or fled elsewhere. It wouldn’t have made sense for her to try and kill me on her own if there were others around here. She probably would have stalled until more men came by to take us both down rather than risking it herself. Besides, don’t worry,” Clem added. “I’ll be careful.”

“Ah, fucking trust me Clementine. I ain’t worried about you. After that little spectacular fucking show, I know you can fucking handle it.”

“You helped,” Clem repeated with a small smile. She looked around the little living and kitchen area before she said. “I’ll be right back. Just hold on.”

Before actually leaving, she went around the home and grabbed anything and everything that could be used as a blanket, quickly passing them on to Negan. A fire would have been better but this place didn’t have a fireplace and going into the forest to gather wood at this time probably wasn’t the best idea anyways.

Once Clem was sure Negan wasn’t going to freeze, Clementine took a flashlight from the stash. It miraculously worked and Clem quickly left to search the nearby houses. As she searched the area, she spotted a car that looked in working order. However, upon closer inspection she saw it missing two tires. There was one spare beside it and a jack had been used to lift it up. Clem popped the trunk and found more supplies, likely having been taken from some of the houses. It seemed the woman had been planning her get away when Clem and Negan had come and interrupted her.

Clem looked through the supplies for anything medical. She found a small bottle of aspirin and a scarf that could be used as a new bandage if they needed it. Otherwise, she closed the trunk for now, deciding to come back for the rest of the stuff in the morning.

She continued her search, making note of where items were so she could gather them all later once it was light out. However, she wasn’t able to find anything else of much use and the only other thing she grabbed was a full water bottle. She then headed back, careful to make herself known before walking inside the house so that Negan didn’t try to blow her head off.

“Still alive?” asked Clem as she looked at his bundled up form.

“Still fucking kicking. Got anything good? I’d take a fucking bottle of some corner shop piss at this point.”

“I’ve got water and some aspirin.”

“I’ll fucking take it.”

Clem handed it over to him before she went to take care of the body. She dragged the corpse outside, not really caring about the trail of blood that it left. Once done, she barricaded the door as best she could and then sat close to Negan. She pulled the mix of towels and curtains and blankets she’d found over herself too before moving closer. Staying near would help keep them both warm.

There had only been five pills left in the bottle but Negan had downed them all by now along with most of the water. He handed the rest over to Clementine as he said, “You know, not fucking everyone-actually probably none of those fuckers-would have argued with me.”

“That’s because a lot of them think you have all the answers. You don’t though. You’re not as smart as you think,” Clementine sarcastically said.

Negan laughed good and hard at that.

“Besides, following orders can be important but blind faith is just going to get you killed. It would have gotten you killed, if you had only kept faith in your own words.”

“Well, you’ve fucking proved yourself before. It would have been pretty fucking stupid to take your words lightly.”

Clem smiled. “Thanks.” She glanced at the still visible food supply in the hollowed out TV. “Are you hungry at all?”

“Naw, just need some fucking sleep. At least we don’t need to worry about damn shifts. Too fucking cold for people and too fucking cold for the dead.”

Clementine nodded in agreement, getting as comfortable as possible next to Negan. Considering how long of a day they’d had, it didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep. Clem didn’t even dream, just waded in the darkness before she felt the need to push her eyes open again.

Light streamed in but at the wrong slant. She’d slumped over in her sleep, her head resting on Negan’s lap. She realized that his fingers were in her hair, redoing the hair tie. She waited until he was done so she didn’t get her hair pulled out but the moment he was finished, she was jolting away.

“Shit, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“N-no. It’s not…” Clem stopped herself and got up quickly, immediately going to the windows to get a good view of the outside. The woman’s body was still very much dead on the ground and way off in the distance Clem could make out some walkers but they were frozen solid so no threat there.

She instinctively felt her hair tie, expecting it to be a mess. However, she was surprised that it actually seemed pretty much in order. She turned sharply to Negan, the question slipping out. “You had kids?”

Negan laughed. “Fuck no. Just around the brats a fuck ton.”

“Your job?”

“Sometimes.”

“Seriously? You’ve got too much of a mouth to be around kids,” snorted Clem.

“That’s what they told me.” Clem noted the bitter tent to his words but he spoke before she could ask about it. “So, what’s the fucking plan today boss man Clementine?”

She laughed at the wording and simply said, “First we need to check your wound. Then I’m going to go out and bring everything I can back. I may have missed something in those stashes that could help you and besides, they mentioned they intercepted our transmissions. If I can find what they were using, we can contact the Sanctuary.”

“Sounds like a fucking plan.”

Clem immediately went to doing just that, first kneeling by Negan and carefully peeling the makeshift bandage off. She cleaned it with what water they had and also made sure the scarf she’d found the night before was as clean as possible. She used it as a new wrapping and covered the wound as tight as she could, Negan helping a little with that last part. While doing it, she noted the twitching of his fingers on his right hand but she figured he was just bored.

Afterwards, she started making trips around the neighborhood. She first went to the places she’d been last night, filling her backpack to the brim and taking it all back each time. Then she went to some of the places she still hadn’t looked into just to make sure there wasn’t anything there. Once the backpack was filled, she took it back to Negan, emptied it, and went out again. In between the moments, she took small breaks just to make sure Negan was alright. He seemed pretty much fine though she couldn’t help but notice how his fingers always seemed antsy, at least for his right hand.

Ultimately, she managed to finish around noon and came back for the last time, sadly without any type of communication device.

“It must have been on one of the people in the woods because it’s not here.”

“Well, it ain’t the fucking end of the world yet. Looks to me like we have enough god damn food here to last the rest of the winter if we had to.”

“Yeah, probably,” Clem honestly said. She looked over at what they had and added, “I’ll make you something. You need to keep up your strength.”

“You want some fucking help?”

“You need to rest!”

“Urgh, I’m just fucking bored!” groaned Negan slumping back with a disgruntled glare.

“I don’t care. You get up and I’m kicking you back to the ground. And something tells me I’d be able to get away with it here.”

Negan snorted but obeyed all the same, sticking to the pile Clem had managed to accumulate in order to keep them warm.

At first, a nice length of silence set in. Clem could focus solely on picking through their now impressive stash, looking for what would be best to serve Negan right now. Despite, or maybe because of, her time alone, she was comfortable in the quiet and it was easy to turn off her thoughts so she could take in each moment completely.

Being stuck out here with Negan though, she should have known that the quiet wasn’t going to last.

“Why the fuck did you jump away this morning? Been trying to figure it out in my head and all the shit I’m coming up with isn’t pretty but it just…I don’t think it’s fucking right.”

Clementine hesitated. Despite her respect for Negan and the fondness that had grown over the past months, talking to him about something so personal was very different than the openness she had with Javi. She quickly turned a question on him instead. “Why do your fingers keep twitching? I noticed this morning and every time I came back with supplies.”

“Well that’s fucking simple. Just not used to Lucille being gone this long.”

“You left it in the truck?”

“Had to in the middle of a fucking fire fight.”

“It’s just a bat though—”

“She isn’t just a fucking bat.”

Clementine found the nerve she was looking for. She’d always suspected as much but Negan had never clearly stated it before. “She’s named after someone. Right?”

Negan didn’t answer. He just said, “Why the hell did you flinch?”

Clem let out a slow shaky breath as Negan actually gave her time to answer for this. He stayed silent as Clem decided that it was only right she followed through with the trade of information. “The last time I was asleep in someone’s lap like that was with Lee.”

“He your fucking daddy figure?”

“He raised me. Everything I learned about this world was from him. He made me who I was.”

“And now he’s fucking dead. Like everyone else.”

“Like Lucille?”

Negan’s gaze darkened but Clementine didn’t back down.

“You can’t expect to say shit like that to me and for me not to go searching either,” Clem replied. Negan’s glare softened a little but not much. “You said you didn’t have kids so I’m guessing not your daughter.”

At least that made Negan laugh, even if it was sad and bitter. “No fucking way.”

“Was she your wife?”

Negan didn’t respond which was honestly answer enough. He looked away and asked, “So just fucking Lee, huh?”

“There were others, but he was there at the very beginning. My parents were dead. Though it took me a little longer to figure that out. So anyways, you said we all lose people. Was she the first person you lost?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Neither is Lee to you. Was she?”

Negan glared again but he muttered, “Lost her long before that.”

“I know you think you’re giving me cryptic answers here meant to please me of some shit and get this over with, but you’re giving me a lot more than that,” Clementine replied. “I’m guessing you didn’t have a great marriage. Probably made mistakes or something. Am I right?”

Negan didn’t respond.

“I am right. So what is it? Are you just trying to commemorate her with the bat? You feel guilty or something?”

“You wouldn’t fucking understand.”

“Seriously? Because you’re the only one who’s ever been butt hurt over something?” asked Clementine. She knew she was pushing on dangerous waters but she was curious. Besides, being stranded out here would probably be the only time she’d be able to get answers like this. However, those answers would only come if she continued to give with some of her own information before she got more out of him.

She went big and said, “I know pain. I had to kill him, Negan. I killed Lee because otherwise he would have turned.”

“You should be happy about that. It probably brought you closure,” Negan spit out.

And there it was, the last bit of information Clementine had been looking for. She’d suspected that despite Negan’s hint at a strained marriage, Lucille had still turned and he’d lost her in that moment too. But now she understood better. By this point Negan must have known his answers were giving Clem more information rather than less. Maybe this was his way of getting it all off his chest. The only way he felt comfortable talking about the situation. Even if it wasn’t, Clem would take it.

“You couldn’t do it,” she softly murmured.

Negan didn’t respond this time. Clementine walked over and sat back down next to him. This time she waited, weighing her words carefully before she softly said, “I don’t think it would have given you as much closure as you would have liked.”

Negan looked a little surprised at that.

“I mean, maybe it would have. It’s probably different for everyone and I mean…I’m happy Lee didn’t turn because of me. But it’s…ending her yourself probably wouldn’t have made you feel that much different. Especially in the moment. I know it didn’t for me.”

Clem quieted, turning to look at her feet. She was about ready to get up and get some food for Negan when he suddenly turned to her. “You know, that’s probably the fucking nicest thing anyone’s fucking said to me in a fucking long time.”

She shrugged. “Just being honest. You should fucking try it sometime.”

Negan snorted. “You know, I’d swear your mouth has gotten ten times dirtier since meeting me.”

“Yeah, you’re a great influence,” Clem replied as she rolled her eyes and finally went back to the food.

As she finished up and walked back over, Negan added, “And just so you know, you fucking tell anyone about this god damn conversation and—”

“This was private. I get it,” Clem interrupted as she sat down next to him. “The same goes for what I told you.”

“Yeah, fucking deal.”

Finally they started to eat and afterwards Clem checked on Negan’s wound again. They’d really need Dr. Carson to look over it but at least it didn’t look much worse.

“I’m going to look around again. If I can, I just want to find something we can properly disinfect this with.”

“Alright. Try to get back soon though.”

Clem smiled. “Like I said, I’m not going to leave you.”

“Because someone might just skin you alive if you went back without me?” grinned Negan.

“Urgh, not really,” Clem shrugged. “Really it’s more the fact that Javi would probably kill me.”

That actually got a surprised look from Negan but Clem decided not to push things any farther today. Besides, whatever was going through Negan’s head probably needed to be discussed with Javi more than Clem, even if she was curious.

She spent the rest of the day looking under any and all crevices she could. This time she actually managed to find a small piece of soap. It wasn’t great but it would be better than nothing.

The rest of the afternoon was relatively quiet. Clem managed to clean Negan’s wound a bit better than just using water and bandaged it up again. She decided not to push anymore with curious questions, not really wanting Negan to question her in return anyways. Otherwise it was a mercilessly quiet afternoon which turned into a quiet night.

Eventually Negan suggested they try to leave tomorrow and start making their way back to the Sanctuary but Clem shook her head. “No, we have more than enough food to last us a little longer and I don’t want to think about what could happen if your leg fully gave out or something. No, we’re staying here.”

“You really think they’ll get this far? That they’ll figure out where we are? They’re probably expecting us to be walking back right now.”

“Maybe so but I know Javi will figure it out. If no one else can, then he’ll find us. I know it.”

“When you fucking say it like that, I almost believe it.”

“He will,” repeated Clem.

The rest of the night went slowly, Clem staying up this time to watch over Negan for a bit. She slept in one hour shifts, somehow never waking up Negan each time she did. She’d never done a trip over night with him but she expected he was a light sleeper. This whole situation was definitely taking way more out of him than he wanted to put on.

The next day Clem stayed inside the whole time. She organized the supplies out of boredom, Negan doing the same as his right hand restlessly tapped against the floor again and again. They talked here and there but it seemed that both were content with keeping the past in the past. Clem was of course curious about other things and she was sure Negan still had questions too. However, both had silently agreed that they weren’t going to open any can of worms with each other for now.

Instead, what they did talk about were Negan’s bad jokes, ideas about the future, plans for spring, just anything that could get their minds off of the cold. The fact that a new layer of snow started to fall around midday wasn’t helping and Clem quickly started to shove more things on top of Negan to cover him up.

“You don’t have to fucking swaddle me like I’m a fucking infant.”

Clem pressed one hand against Negan’s forehead. “I think I do. You’re starting to get warm.”

“I’m warm because you keep fucking insisting I put fucking blankets on top of me god fucking damn it!”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Clem sighed. She still didn’t doubt Javi. He would come. Someone would but it was starting to become clear that sooner was a lot better than later. Clem grabbed another thing of water. “Drink this. Come on.”

Negan begrudgingly did as Clem got close to him again. She distracted both of them by going back to some plans they’d previously talked about for spring and the conversation managed to keep going into the night. Clem started to wander if they’d have to spend another night there when she could have sworn she heard something outside. Negan jolted but Clem held out her hand, keeping him from moving. She silently drew her gun and crept out of the home. Thankfully there was still a full clip in it.

The wind picked up as Clem tried to move as quietly as possible over the still fresh snow. Clouds covered the sky yet Clem wasn’t completely blind. The night had that weird, bright and yet dark look to it that could only come with the massive amount of white everywhere. It helped keep Clem oriented as she tried to stick close to the house.

She walked around, wincing each time the snow crunched beneath her. She didn’t find anything for a while but was sure she had heard something out there. Maybe it had just been an animal but it was so cold! Shouldn’t they be hunkered in burrows and the—

There! In the distance!

“Stop! Hands up or I’ll shoot!” Clem yelled out. Stealth was no longer a concern as she quickly marched forward, the man freezing in the distance.

However, Clem wasn’t even half way to him when she heard, “Clementine!?”

The quick marching turned into a full on run as Clem recognized the voice and the man turned around. “Javi!”

She barreled into him hugging him hard and tight.

“ _Por dios_! I knew I could find you!”

“I knew you would,” Clem replied. She was almost so happy she could cry.

“Negan—”

“Hurry, this way.” Clem grabbed his hand and pulled him through the snow and back to the home. Before actually going in, she made sure to call out so Negan didn’t pull out his own gun and use his last two bullets to shoot them. “I told you they would find us!”

Negan looked up with surprise as Javi immediately eyed the number of blankets he was wrapped in.

“Not a fucking word.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Javi breathlessly said. He moved forward and then stopped. It looked like he wanted to just run to Negan and wrap him in his arms, like with Clem. But he stayed back instead.

“Anyone going to help me the fuck up or…”

“Right, sorry,” Javi quickly got out. He walked over and pulled Negan up, an almost pained expression on Javi’s face.

“Hope you shitheads brought something bigger than a damn car.”

“Yeah, we have one of the trucks-Jesus. That’s a lot of food,” Javi said, finally looking at their stash.

“Fucking good find huh? And good to know this whole fucking endeavor didn’t go to fucking waste.”

“Yeah that’s…yeah that’s good to know,” Javi mumbled, clearly wanting to say more. “Hold on. Let me contact the guys to bring the truck closer.”

Javi brought out his walkie-talkie, quickly talking to them before clipping it on his belt. “Come on, they won’t be able to drive up to the house with all this snow. We’ll have to meet them at the road.”

“Let’s get a fucking move on then.”

“Hold on. We should at least get a bit more cover on you,” Clem replied as she went and quickly grabbed some of the covers they had.

“I’m fucking fine.”

“You do feel hot,” murmured Javi as Clem shot Negan an ‘I told you so’ look. Javi helped Clem put the added layers on Negan’s shoulders. The man grumbled but at least he didn’t fight them.

As Javi pulled one of the layers tightly around Negan, Clem saw the hesitation again. She thought for sure he’d back down once more, and maybe if someone else had been with them, he would have. However, he unexpectedly surged forward and held Negan just as tightly as he had Clementine.

“O-fucking-k?”

“Sorry, um…let’s just hurry on to the truck,” Javi murmured. Negan looked over at Clem as she just gave him a shrug and another ‘I fucking told you so’ stare.

They thankfully made it to the truck though without much trouble though, especially since Javi could fully support Negan unlike Clem. It only took a little longer for Javi, Katy, Janet, and Three to get all the supplies too, making sure to leave nothing behind.

Clem made sure to hug Katy and the other two both breathed sighs of relief and said they were glad to see her alive too. It felt good being back with the group. Katy, Janet, and Three all got into the front once the supplies were loaded as Javi climbed into the back with Clem and Negan, only this time with something a little extra.

“Here, figured you’d want her sooner rather than later,” Javi said, handing Lucille over.

Clem watched as the twitching in Negan’s fingers completely stopped as he grasped the bat. “And she looks as beautiful as she fucking always has. Thanks Doe-Eyes.” He put the bat in his lap as Javi just nodded in response. He closed up the back and then knocked right behind Katy to show they were ready to leave.

It was a fair ways back, especially since they were driving at night. Clem and Negan both fell asleep with Javi watching over them.

Once in range, Three radioed ahead, informing the Sanctuary they’d found them and that they’d need hands ready to move the supplies to storage. Once they were almost upon the gate, Javi woke Clem and Negan up.

Javi still supported Negan when they got out but he laid off a bit more than before. He wanted to grab him around the waste and drag him straight to Carson’s office but he knew Negan had already started to put on his usual show.

“Well what are you all fucking staring at? Looks like you sorry shits managed to keep from burning the place down so fucking keep at it!”

A few shouted ‘yes sir’ and ‘right away’ and other quick cries as people stopped staring and quickly rushed off. Clem came up though and murmured, “I’ll see you in the morning Javi. Negan.”

“Rest up fucking Firecracker. You damn well earned it,” sighed Negan, his act just dropping a little.

Clem smiled and quickly walked into a small crowd of people that had been waiting for her. Javi was pretty sure he saw Tory there too, looking overjoyed that Clem was alright.

Javi turned all his focus on Negan now as he walked him to the main building and Carson’s office. Three and Janet and Katy came near but Negan waved them away.

“I’m not fucking helpless! I don’t need to be carried up some damn stairs or some shit. Just get that shit in storage and back to your fucking posts.”

“Yes sir!”

As they moved out of the way, Javi tried to move them forward so that he could finally get Negan out of the cold but he was stopped again as the lieutenants came forward.

“Well will you fucking look at that. You didn’t rip each other’s god damn throats out. Looks like you lot have a lot more fucking brains than I gave you credit for,” grinned Negan.

“It’s good to have you back,” Arat simply said, a few others nodding in agreement.

Simon stepped forward and tried to say, “I’ll make sure everything runs smoothly while you’re—”

“No fucking need for that. I’m back and I’m ready to clean up any fucking messes you lot made. Aman, Simon, get your asses back to the outposts. Everyone else, get to your usual fucking work. Fucking got it?”

“Yes sir.”

Finally Javi was able to keep Negan moving as they finally walked into the building.

“You know,” Javi said as they were finally out of earshot of the others, “Simon was aiming to get control while you were gone. I mean, most of them were in some shape or another but he—”

“Well of course he fucking was. Keep your enemies close and your enemies closer.”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes,” sighed Javi.

“Besides, for the moment Simon’s fucking usefulness outweighs any fucking threat. The moment that changes though—” Negan made a slashing motion against his neck.

“As long as you’re aware,” murmured Javi.

“Now I gotta fucking say, what is with the sour ass attitude? I would have expected you to be a bit more fucking joyous about my return.”

“I am. I really, seriously, am but—”

Javi wasn’t able to finish the thought as Negan managed to grab him. He kissed Javi hard, pressing him against the metal walls, able to do it even in his condition.

“I bet’s that’s what you were fucking missing, huh?”

“No-I mean no not no! Not no in that way just…”

Negan looked on, confusion peppering his brow.

“I’m just feeling a bit drained right now. Thinking you and Clem might have been… I just thought you might have… I just really missed you Negan. Like, just you.”

“Just fucking, little old me, huh?” asked Negan as Javi immediately went to support him again and continue their walk to Carson’s office. “Funny, that’s what fucking Clementine said.”

“What? You didn’t believe her?” asked Javi.

“Well, as fucking perfect as my fucking charm is, yeah, I usually assume it’s not my fucking personality people like the most.”

 Javi gave a slight shrug. He probably could have better explained it. He could have explained how the attention had first felt and then how it had felt finally responding to it, first with just quips of his own and then with more in much more private settings. But he figured Negan wouldn’t take any of that seriously so he just said, “Just count me as an outlier I guess.”

“Well that’s the one fucking thing I know. You and Clementine have always been fucking outliers,” laughed Negan. “It’s why you’re so god damn amusing. You’re a nice fucking change from the boring shit I have to deal with on a day to day basis.”

Javi did manage to let out a little laugh at that. “I try.”

They finally arrived at Carson’s place, the man opening the door and with everything ready to look Negan over.

Javi almost left but then gathered up his courage and turned back towards Negan to say one last thing. “I’m serious though. I’m glad you’re back.” Javi quickly left before he could hear Negan’s response, if there was even going to be one, and went straight to his barracks. He really needed a good night’s sleep.


	7. Growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't expect to get this chapter out so soon but here we are! I probably won't be able to keep updating this quickly as school intensifies but I'll still write whenever I get a chance. Thank you so much for the wonderful kudos and comments and I really hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Also, here's another playlist lol because it helps me write: https://8tracks.com/changethecircumstances/let-me-share-your-l

Negan had a limp for a little while, not that anyone said anything. However, in time, that healed too and the unfortunate event moved into the back of everyone’s minds. Maybe things like going missing for days or dying or any number of insane events would have once been cause for thought. However, their daily lives were constantly filled with them, or at least the threat of. Originally, the way to deal with shit like that was to push down the emotions that came up with it and to ignore it as best as you could. Now it was like someone announcing they were going to college during the before time. Shit happened. Not to everyone and certainly everyone’s experience was different, but in general, what had once been considered so bad and horrific didn’t faze them anymore.

Javi couldn’t help but think about when his father had died. He’d come back a few seconds later and had killed Javi’s mother and uncle, even if Javi hadn’t known the wounds had been a death sentence at the time. The confusion, the feeling of wanting to scream and cry and yell in anger, now all of it was gone.

Even his heartbreak over losing his family had finally healed, even when he hadn’t thought that possible. That kind of shit just happened now and all you could do was just move on once the moment passed.

The months continued to fly by like before. When every day was centered around survival, things easily bled together. However, small, memorable moments regularly popped up here and there. Things like starting a poker group stood out. When someone had found the chips, many had amusingly turned to Javi for answers.

All he’d been able to say was, “Just because I gambled does not mean I know how to play poker.”

Still, he’d gotten dragged into it all the same, along with Clem who had been steadily learning how to play several different card games thanks to the pack that regularly got passed around. Javi usually tried to decline, often saying, “I’m not great with the rules and my poker face is shit.”

To which everyone always responded, “That’s why we want you to play!”

That was usually followed by someone commenting on how, “You can’t tell what the hell’s going on in Clem’s head! She wins almost every time!”

And then Javi always responded, “Well in that case, if we’re placing bets, I’ll bet against whoever is playing Clementine. Otherwise, I think I’m good guys.”

The asking and repetitive conversations hardly ever annoyed Javi though. If anything, getting normal moments like that always proved to brighten Javi’s day. Just eating breakfast with Clem, going out hunting when it was warmer, managing to get back in the rhythm of teaching Clem different words and then even others who wanted to try. It made it all worth it, and it made Javi fight so much harder too.

Despite all that, he wasn’t naïve though. He believed in Negan, but he knew the chances were stacked even against him with the idea that the Saviors could last forever. Maybe there would just be a herd that was too much. Maybe it would be another community, or two or more that ended up being bigger and more deadly than them. Maybe it would be disease or maybe Simon or another lieutenant would finally come up with some full proof plan to take Negan down.

Something would happen. Maybe in several months or maybe it would take a decade, but it would. Instead of those thoughts dragging Javi down though, it made the moments that he got to experience all the more precious.

Once some unmovable force got in their way, then Javi would either go down fighting or he would protect who he could and start anew. He’d done it before and he’d do it again. Clementine would obviously be the first he’d look for, other names and face popped to mind, and then there was Negan, something which he doubted anyone would fully understand.

Some days even Javi didn’t fully understand it.

Part of it was the unique charm Negan had. Yet as if to counterbalance that, Negan had one of the foulest mouths Javi had heard and a pretty subjective moral system. The second part especially should have bothered Javi, or at least it would have. But being stuck on the road with Clem and then becoming fully integrated with the Saviors had changed him. He didn’t really think of it as for better or for worse. Those kinds of things didn’t matter anymore in the new world.

But for all intents and purposes, Javi should have gotten the message that Negan was really only in it for the sex, the fun. His relationships, or really lack thereof with his wives, proved that. But it instead of Javi learning from that and setting his expectations just as, he only got more curious.

Negan’s relentless flirting was flattering and even the horrendous jokes somehow managed to make Javi laugh. Once Clem and him had agreed to stay, Javi had felt a bit more comfortable in responding to those comments. The remarks were never quite as clever or out there, it just wasn’t Javi, but Negan seemed to find him amusing for trying.

And that aspect had escalated over weeks and weeks, all the way up until a day when Negan had called Javi away from everyone.

“Now please fucking tell me you are fucking understanding the signals I am god damn sending out because I’m about to get fucking blue balls from all this damn back and forth.”

That had been the first words out of Negan’s mouth when they were alone and Javi had laughed. Somehow just the way Negan talked and annunciated the words, the way he would push his hips forward and keep his hands there when making a point, it was all so unique to him.

And Javi had replied, “I’m not looking for a trade or some damn loophole you know.”

“Oh I fucking get that,” Negan had grinned.

There had been a split moment of hesitation as Negan had stepped forward. Javi had understood. If he had wanted to, he could have backed up and just walked away. But he hadn’t. Judging by how Negan hadn’t really changed his approach, even after the first night and the second and so on, it might have been a mistake. But Javi couldn’t really regret the choice.

Perhaps it was because Javi hadn’t been in a physical relationship for years that he’d become so attached. It wasn’t so much Negan’s character that Javi was drawn to. But if that was true, Javi couldn’t tell. He just knew that so far his curiosity hadn’t been drained. If anything, it had increased.

The excursions varied from short and sweet to longer, sometimes Javi ending up in Negan’s bed though he always left immediately after. Despite his curiosity, he wasn’t going to push where he wasn’t wanted and that did seem to be one of the few rules Negan held to, him not actually staying the night.

Slowly, the relationship became a normal part of Javi’s life too. The only time he really pushed past the walls that Negan had built up was when Negan and Clem had gone missing. Javi had been able to tell that Negan was utterly confused why Javi had been so relieved but he’d never brought it up again. Besides, Javi had long since decided any explanation wouldn’t be understood or believed by him anyways.

So the relationship continued on a physical basis even as Javi searched for more.

Clem had long since stopped asking him about it. Javi just never knew what to say to her anyways and besides, she probably got more information from Javi’s body language alone. Others knew about it, everyone really, but there was only one instance where it was really discussed. Surprisingly, that person ended up being Molly.

Javi had meant what he’d said to Clem. Molly was nice but there was just no click, no interest there. And she really did remind him too much of an ex-girlfriend. He’d usually see her during breakfast or dinner. If they happened to be at the same table, he’d talk to her and he certainly wasn’t above saying hi in the halls or out on the grounds. But he just never took time out of his day to purposefully see her, not unless he was injured and Dr. Carson was too busy.

One day she decided to take that initiative though. She stopped him rather than leaving it at the usual, polite hellos.

“I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Hmm? Uh yeah. If it’s about some medical supplies you want us to be on the lookout for I’m actually heading to patrol the gates. I switched with—”

“It’s not about that. I was just…I know it can be hard to coordinate the few moments of free time we get but uh…I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me. Not in the mess hall.”

“Oh.” Well that couldn’t have been more obvious unless she’d specifically said ‘date’. “I don’t…it sounds nice! But I um…”

“Did Negan make that rule with you? Like Sherry and Honey?” she asked skeptically.

“What? No!” Or if he had, they hadn’t discussed it. But that didn’t really matter because, “It’s my rule.”

“So…Negan has his wives and you’re just…fine with that,” Molly slowly said. It wasn’t phrased as a question though Javi could hear how confused she was.

“I mean…I guess. I’m certainly not going to try and fight him on it,” Javi said, actually laughing at the mere idea of him stomping up to Negan and complaining. “It’s their loophole to use. Sherry and Honey chose to do that rather than manual labor, and I choose not to see anyone else. The choice is mine.”

“But why when he clearly isn’t—no. I’m sorry. I asked and you said no and I…I shouldn’t be prying,” she quickly said. “I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

She started to walk away, but Javi quickly grabbed her arm. He felt a little bad if it was just left like this. “Hey, we’ve gotten past this now. So if you do want to do something or talk, now that you know what to expect, you can ask. I don’t mind. As a friend.”

Molly’s lips quirked up into a smile at that. It made Javi glad he’d said it. “Thank you. I’ll keep you posted then.”

In retrospect, it had been a good thing that it had been Molly getting that information and not anyone else. Javi could only imagine the kind of talk that would have immediately popped up otherwise. He did keep his promise though. When the times matched up, he did occasionally talk and simply hang out with her. But thankfully he could tell that after a while she better understood why he’d said no. There was just no click. However, Javi gladly accepted the added friendship when she did want to talk.

And then the months kept going.

Despite Javi’s personal rule, nothing really changed with Negan and him. Negan just didn’t care or maybe he didn’t understand Javi’s infatuation. But either way, Javi just kept to his own rule and didn’t push.

It was largely the same thing, day in and day out, all up until nearly a full year had passed since Negan’s and Clem’s disappearance. Clementine was getting closer to sixteen now. Considering last winter had been harsher, keeping everyone on edge, Javi wanted to do something nice for Clem. Though they’d been with the saviors for about two years, he’d been with Clementine closer to three. However, there’d never been time to do anything. Even if it was considered old fashioned now, Javi still liked the idea.

And comically enough, others apparently agreed. Javi found out Tory had been talking to Clem about it when Clem went searching for him. She’d spotted him and immediately ran over. Clem blurted out the question before he could even say anything. “What’s sweet about sixteen?”

Javi unexpectedly laughed. “What do you-oh. Oh! I guess you wouldn’t have really known about it. I’m guessing you didn’t know anyone around that age who went through their sixteenth birthday before, huh?”

“No. Why sixteen specifically? And why sweet? What’s sweet about it?”

“Well you know because um…well the thing is…I guess it just rhymes?”

“Sweet and sixteen don’t rhyme Javi,” Clementine deadpanned.

“Ok, ok! Just…I know it was always seen as like a coming of age thing for like all kids. Just with girls it was typically known as a sweet sixteen.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know!” he groaned. “Just-it just doesn’t come once. You know? It’s special!”

“Every birthday only comes once though.”

“Ok, you got me there.”

“I just don’t see much reason to make it that big of a thing. I don’t even know the exact day anymore,” sighed Clementine. “I think Tory’s more excited because she didn’t get a chance to have her own ‘sweet’ sixteen.”

“That girl loves you to death. You really think that’s the only reason she wants to throw you a party?”

“No. I know she cares,” Clem said with a small smile moving over her lips. “I just don’t want it to be that big of a deal.”

“Make sure to tell her that then. I’m sure she’ll respect it. And besides, if you don’t want anything big…here.” Javi unclipped the cassette player and handed it over to Clem.

“Wait are you-you’re serious?” Clem slowly took it, looking at it in shock.

“Found a new tape so it’s in there right now. I’ll give you the rest of the ones when I find the time.”

“But this was-you carry it everywhere.”

Javi shrugged. “If it doesn’t interest you, just say it.”

“No! No I’m definitely not saying that.”

Javi chuckled. “It’s just…it’s something that’s important to me. And because of that, I can’t think of anyone else who I’d rather hold onto it if something did happen to me. Not that I’m planning on going out on some suicide mission anytime soon or anything! Just…you know. In case. Besides, it’ll give you a chance to widen your taste in music.”

“I have no taste in music,” Clem said with a light chuckle.

“It’s perfect then!” Javi opened his arms and Clem quickly hugged him. “Happy birthday Clementine.”

“Thank you. Should I get you something—”

“No, it’s totally fine. Like I said before, I don’t need anything,” Javi grinned. “Just take good care of that. That’s present enough for me.”

“I promise Javi.”

They hugged again before they both hurried onto their jobs, the cassette player now strapped to Clem’s belt. That day stood out because of that conversation. It reminded Javi of all the things that Clem had been deprived of since the apocalypse. It was one of the few times Javi felt like he’d been able to give her something normal. Similar to when he’d taught her how to play baseball. The day stood out because of her birthday and the tape player. But that wasn’t the only thing that would make that time stand out.

Because that afternoon was when things with Negan finally changed. As Javi had finished up his last task for the day, he was told in passing by someone that Negan wanted to see him up in his room. When that happened, it was always a fifty-fifty whether it would be some work related task or something else. Usually the giveaway was if Sherry or Honey were there, then it was work related, but that wasn’t a definite.

Javi went right as he finished up, taking the steps two at a time. He still knocked out of respect and habit. From what he knew, Clem did the same and it always made Negan chuckle like the small show of manners was completely alien to him. Usually Negan got the door but this time Javi heard him yell from the other side to come in.

The view Javi was met with was foreign to him. One of the tables that was usually propped by a wall with random things on it had been cleared and pulled out. One end was still pressed to the wall, only now it was pointed longwise out into the room. A ping pong ball snapped against the wall. It hit the table. Then Negan’s paddle. And back again.

Javi slowly closed the door. It felt like making to loud a noise would break the mirage. “You’re playing…ping pong,” Javi slowly said.

“Table tennis,” Negan replied. He bounced the ball once more before easily catching it on the bounce back. He put the paddle and ball on the table.

“Yeah. It’s pronounced ping pong.”

Negan turned to him. He crossed his arms with a smirk on his lips. “You come up here just to fucking argue what table tennis is called?”

“Ping pong. And you called me up here. Remember?”

“Well ain’t you fucking astute.” Negan pushed off the table.

“Uh, I was told Negan wanted me here. You’re Negan. I’m here.” Javi sarcastically said, a smile gracing his lips. “It doesn’t exactly take a genius to-umf!”

Negan grabbed Javi’s belt and pulled him forward into a harsh kiss. Well that at least gave Javi his answer. This was pleasure and not business yet now plenty of more burning questions entered his mind. For the moment though, he let Negan lead. He fell into it. His jaw went slack for a moment, and Negan just took control. Usually after this a proposition was made. Sometimes verbal. Sometimes with just the eyes and Negan dragging Javi down to the couch or back to the bed. But this time as Negan finally pulled back for some air, Javi said, “You know how to play ping pong but you didn’t know how to play baseball?”

“The gym wasn’t fucking big enough to do baseball and it’s fucking table tennis,” said Negan, once again giving a very small piece of information about his past. “There’s a fucking difference.”

“Wait, there’s a difference? I don’t believe you.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “You know, I had other fucking plans for us but seeing as you clearly need a fucking reeducation…” Negan backed up without having to turn around, that wide smirk still firmly on his face. He reached the table and easily pulled it over so it was facing the right way but he still kept it away from the wall. “Come on, get your ass over here.”

Javi skeptically did, watching as Negan got out another paddle and threw it at him. He caught it easily and got on the other side.

“So is not having a net part of it or…”

“It’s a fucking table. I gotta work with what I’ve fucking got,” shot back Negan.

“Fair enough but so far I’m just seeing ping pong.”

“Well let me fucking teach you a thing or two then.”

The next few moments Javi got assaulted with far more rules and regulations than he ever thought could be possible before Negan even hit the ball. And when he did, he did it so hard and fast that it hit Javi hard in the chest before he could even stop it.

“Ow!”

“Don’t be such a pussy and pay attention,” smirked Negan.

“You know, maybe I’d catch on if you eased me into it,” Javi said. He picked up the ball and bounced it back.

“Not a fucking chance!”

And Negan swung back with enough force that Javi’s instinct was to duck instead of actually hitting it.

“Ah, come on! This is going to be an easy fucking game if you keep it up.”

“Ok, ok. We’ll get serious then,” Javi said with a pointed stare.

“Is that your serious face Doe-Eyes? Aw, it’s fucking adorable,” laughed Negan as Javi bounced the ball back. This time he managed to at least hit it back to Negan before he knocked it back over. Javi just barely had enough time to realize Negan had hit the ball oddly and as Javi tried to knock it back, it instead hit his paddle and sped off into a seemingly random direction. Javi could hear it bouncing against a wall and onto the floor.

“Alright, I’ve seen shit like that in baseball but did you really just put some fucking spin on a ping pong ball?”

“You’re god damn right,” grinned Negan.

“Ok, maybe this will be a little harder,” Javi replied, quickly going to grab the ball again.

The next few minutes, half an hour, maybe even a full hour, mostly consisted of Javi getting pelted and chasing after the ball. It was impossible to say exactly how long they played. In some ways, it felt like forever and yet a few seconds too. During it all, Negan gave him absolutely no slack. Javi tried as best he could and at the end, all he knew for sure was that he had never expected to start sweating so much from just ping pong alone.

The final hit came from Negan. He caught Javi right in the nose leading him to finally drop his paddle and hold up his hands. “I surrender! You win!”

“Again,” smirked Negan. “I think that’s the thirteenth time in a row.”

“Oh come on. We didn’t play more than eight games, right?”

“Thirteen,” Negan replied, the grin not leaving his face. He walked over, reaching in a cabinet and grabbing out a water bottle. He took a swig first before closing it and throwing it to Javi.

Javi was ready to down it quickly, so quickly he didn’t notice the smell until he nearly coughed it all out onto the floor. “Ugh, god! Some warning next time?”

Negan laughed good and hard as Javi just shrugged his shoulders and took a proper shot of the vodka before closing it up and throwing it back.

Javi collapsed on the couch, Negan following him after he pushed the table back into place. As Negan sat down, Javi asked, “So why ping-my apologies-table tennis? Like why that one sport?”

“Well it’s fucking hard to fit a basketball court in here.”

Javi snorted.

“And it helps me fucking think.”

“Well considering how hard you played—”

“I always play hard,” grinned Negan.

“Don’t I know it,” Javi muttered under his breath. Louder, he finished, “But I’m guessing you have more than usual on your plate.”

Negan hesitated. “Fucking something like that.”

“Well you don’t have to tell me. Not that you ever would feel pressured to tell me something,” snorted Javi. “I just mean-sorry. I’m rambling. We can talk about what you want to talk about. Whether it’s work related or table tennis or whatever.”

Javi politely finished and waited for Negan to say something. However, the older man just leaned in, his eyes narrowing a bit.

“Or, you know, something more physical?” Javi said, trying to read the signals. “I’m good with whatever.”

Negan leaned in closer. Would he kiss him? Fucking punch him? Javi had no idea what Negan was doing. Neither could Javi think of what to say. He just stared back, really hoping Negan would say something first. Otherwise Javi was just lost.

“Well fuck me Doe-Eyes, you really fucking mean that,” Negan finally boomed out. The sudden noise actually made Javi jump as Negan leaned against the armrest of the couch. “So you’re not trying to get extra fucking info before the others or some shit…”

Ok, now Javi got it. It was hard to say if something like this would have irked him coming from someone else. From Negan though, it was practically expected. The fact that Negan had tried to trip him up actually amused him more than anything. Negan’s face formed into an almost pout as Javi laughed and said, “No, I’m not trying to do this for information.”

“So you’re fucking telling me you just played table tennis with me for over two hours just because you wanted to?”

“Jesus, has it been that long?” muttered Javi.

“Answer the question.”

“Well it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Not to fucking me,” sighed Negan as he leaned forward again. “Over two fucking years you’ve been here and you’re still a god damn outlier. Fuck!”

Javi shrugged. “You seemed to want to utterly crush me at table tennis and I was curious. Besides, it was fun. I don’t regret it.”

Negan shook his head. “You don’t want less manual labor. You don’t want any fucking extra shit. Anything I’ve given you, you’ve made it a point to put the cost of it back into the work. You don’t want fucking info. I’m losing my god damn mind trying to figure it out! What is it? Do…do you want to be a fucking lieutenant or something?”

“Oh god no!” Javi cried out with a huge laugh. “No I…I get there’s been times I’ve had to take charge. And when that happens I’ll always step up to the plate. But I don’t want to be a lieutenant. If anything, I think Clem would be better than me.”

“So…you want me to make Clementine a lieutenant?”

Javi was almost in tears at that, his cheeks going red as he tried to hold in the laugh. His shoulders were still shaking as he barely managed to get out, “I am not sleeping with you so you’ll make Clementine a lieutenant!”

“Huh. Then I’ve got fucking nothing,” Negan sighed, leaning back again on the couch’s armrest and crossing his arms. “Either you are running some long as fuck con with some pretty fucking confusing twists and turns…or you’re telling me the fucking truth.”

“Which one do you think is more believable?” asked Javi.

“The first one. Definitely.”

Javi shook his head, wiping away a few of the remaining tears. He turned more fully so he was facing Negan and leaned over. “Why is it so weird that I’m just interested in you?”

“Well I get I’m a fucking sex god.”

Javi snorted just as Negan grabbed his shirt collar and fully pulled him on top. Of course, just because their positions were a bit more switched than usual didn’t exactly mean Javi was in control. He rested against Negan, even when Negan slightly pulled back and finished his thought. “People always fucking want something though.”

“You’re company?”

“You god damn fucking outlier,” grinned Negan before pulling Javi back in.

Javi knew Negan still didn’t believe him. Maybe that was part of what had Javi so infatuated, wanting to see if he could prove himself. Perhaps he wanted to see Negan as the individual. Not as the leader or the showman. For all that curiosity though, Javi did push it to the side as he let Negan take control again, at least for a little bit before Javi pressed his hand to Negan’s chest.

Negan stopped immediately. He looked, confusion peppering his brow.

“I need to get back to the barracks. I’ve got to patrol outside the walls early tomorrow.”

“Now what fucking dumbass would make you do that?” grinned Negan.

“I imagine the one who gives orders around here,” Javi dryly replied. “I just know I need to get going.”

“Or I could move some shit around and—”

“Nope! No freebies!” cried Javi, quickly jumping up before Negan could stop him. “I still pull my own load—”

“Yeah you fucking do.”

Javi blushed. “You know what I mean and I need to be rested for tomorrow. But thanks all the same. You know, for beating the shit out of me at table tennis.”

“Anytime.”

“You mean that?”

Clearly by Negan’s reaction he had not. However, Negan’s own curiosity started to show through and he said, “Why the fuck not? We’ll see if I can fucking make something of you yet.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” chuckled Javi. “Good night.”

Negan grunted in response as Javi left.

And that marked when things changed, even if only marginally. They talked a bit more than just going straight to lips and Negan always seemed to enjoy pelting Javi hard enough to leave little round welts on his skin during their matches. Through it all though, there was definitely something on Negan’s mind. Maybe it had been on his mind for a while longer. It was just that only now Javi could actually see it happening.

Interestingly enough, there always seemed to be a moment during their time together where Negan would pause and look at him. He’d wait to see if Javi would start imploring about his plans and future endeavors or maybe just ask for something. That never happened though. Javi was content with just spending time with the man and Negan seemed all the more confused for it, though he had stopped actively searching for answers for now.

It took a while before Negan finally seemed to get all the pieces in a row. Months had gone by since that night of change yet the Sanctuary was really very much the same. They still had the Kingdom and Hilltop but no one new had appeared since then. The supply runs, patrols, hunting, it was all the same. It was like the Sanctuary had become stagnant.

And when Negan finally spoke, it seemed he’d come to that exact same conclusion.

He brought everyone together in one of those rare moments when all the lieutenants were there. Everyone else gathered below as Negan announced, “We’ve gotten pretty fucking comfortable. But you can’t fucking improve shit if you don’t keep fucking pushing forward. So we’re going to find an outpost in the south, we’re gonna set up and fucking introduce ourselves to any new fucking neighbors that have popped up in the area. You fucking understand!?”

A mixture of ‘yes sir’ and cheers and shouts echoed around.

“Simon’s and Aman’s teams will be the major ones fucking involved. You’ve got until tomorrow before you’re out to scout the fucking area so I suggest you take some fucking time to enjoy yourselves tonight!”

On those final words, Negan’s eyes found Javi almost instinctively. Because of that, it didn’t surprise Javi when Negan intercepted him on his way to the barracks later that night.

“So, you fucking suspect all that?” grinned Negan.

“Not really. Was never trying to figure out what you were planning to begin with in fact.”

“Hmm, I guess so…” Negan trailed off, leaning forward just a bit with a sly grin, like somehow all the pieces would fall into place for him to understand Javi’s motives. But when they didn’t, Negan just leaned back and added, “Fucking anyways, I came because I wanted you to know I finally granted Tory’s request to be put on active duty full time. She’s going to be under Simon but when you are around her…”

“Yeah, no problem Negan. I’ll watch out for her,” Javi replied.

Negan nodded approvingly.

“Well, if that was it I’ll—”

“You really think I fucking came all the way here just to tell you that shit?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Fucking right you are,” Negan said.

Then the usual harsh kiss.

A hand pulling at Javi’s belt.

And he went to bed with Negan. Not just physically but when Javi rolled over in exhaustion, Negan didn’t tell him it was time to get out as usual. Things were actually changing between them as clearly Negan’s own curiosity was leading him to get closer to Javi.

Right before leaving to find a southern outpost, Javi fell asleep in Negan’s bed for the first time.

* * *

Clementine made sure to say goodbye to those she was close to. She spent extra time saying goodbye to Tory and then to Javi as they were both part of the team that would scout out their southern borders.

It meant work and resources would be a little strained for a while as a good percentage of their people were away. However, better mapping out the area around them was important. And if there was a group down there, it would be better to find them first rather than the other way around.

Clem put in even more work in order to keep the Sanctuary at its same level of productivity as many others did the same. At night, when she particularly missed Javi, she’d put in one of her favorite tapes he’d given her and listened to it. Other times she’d look over one of the comics she and Tory had read together if she was on Clem’s mind more. But those moments were rare. Usually Clem was too exhausted at the end of each day to do much more than sleep.

Javi, Tory, and everyone else ended up being gone for nearly two weeks though either Simon or Aman regularly kept Negan and the other lieutenants posted on their progress. Though by that point they still hadn’t found any group, they did find a nicely sized radio station that would make a good outpost down there.

With an actual shelter found, most of the people finally came back to the Sanctuary and a tradeoff occurred. Clem ended up being one of the people that started to fix up the old radio station, making it a bit more livable and creating a good second base of operations. It was easier going back and forth between the Sanctuary and the new outpost since they now knew exactly where it was. All the while though, they started having more scouting expeditions going out from the radio station, still trying to figure out if they were or weren’t alone.

A new pattern was soon set with Simon splitting his time between the southern outpost and Hilltop. Arat’s team still focused on the Kingdom, Josh and Isabelle’s focused on matters close to home, and Aman was almost constantly at the new outpost. It meant Clem saw Javi and Tory a bit less, but they were able to come back to the Sanctuary more often now that they had a concrete outpost.

The days turned to weeks for Clem but everything was still going well. She went back and forth between the Sanctuary, the Kingdom, and several outposts. She got regular updates about how the southern outpost was doing, sometimes from Javi or Tory when they were back at the Sanctuary, sometimes from Katy overhearing information from Arat and the other lieutenants, and other times from the rare moments when Clem got to go out there herself.

Nothing good stayed forever though. Clem had long since learned that.

When she and others started to hear reports of some fighting that had started to pop up in the southern area, Clem mentally prepared herself for whatever it was. Just nomads? A whole group? No one knew for sure yet though the name Rick continuously seemed to pop up. Whisperings started to spread, words like how Negan was getting increasingly pissed with Simon’s and other’s handling of the situation, even going so far as to suggest Negan might go out there himself. Clem wished she could talk to Javi or Tory to get a bigger picture of what was going on, but as the attacks increased in a short timeframe, she was in the dark like everyone else.

For now, all Clem could do was continue her own jobs. But then after three more days came something that had Clem wanting to throw up. The rumors moved quickly through the compound. The southern outpost hadn’t answered during the routine, morning contact. The reason could be something as simple as the walkie-talkies being dead but no one really thought that for a second. All minds went back to the minimal fighting and losses that had occurred so far. Was this because of those people?

Clementine was thankful she was at the Sanctuary for this and quickly gathered with the rest of the active duty people. It didn’t take long for Negan to show himself, quickly delving into orders of who would and wouldn’t go to the compound to see what the hell was going on. Despite no concrete evidence, the orders made it clear. They were prepping for a war.

People rushed to the armory, gathering what they could as double the people posted themselves at the Sanctuary’s walls. Clem went for the gate though, ready to leave and figure out what the hell had happened. Vehicles were being prepped and people were already jumping in when someone shouted from the wall, “It’s one of ours!”

Negan appeared from behind one of the trucks. “Just fucking one vehicle?”

“Yes! It…it’s Javier and Three!”

“Open the gates!”

Negan marched forward, Clem and several others following close behind. When Javi pulled up, he didn’t even get a chance to question all the people that had gathered. Negan marched up to him. He grabbed his collar, quickly and easily pinning him against the car.

“What the hell’s going on?”

“Three just broke his leg!” Javi quickly got out. “Aman was supposed to radio you this morning about the arrival!”

Clem looked to see Three struggling to get out of the car. A few people quickly came to help him. Negan didn’t ease up though. “Why did his leg break?”

“It was an accident! We were going to wait to drive him here today but it got bad last night so we left early in the morning,” Javi quickly got out. “Aman said he’d…” Javi trailed off, the understanding of the situation finally hitting him.

“You have any fucking idea why they wouldn’t?”

“No.”

Negan finally let go, he stepped back and shouted out, “Everyone stay on fucking task! We leave in ten! And someone fucking get Three to fucking Carson!”

Clem then heard Negan pull his walkie-talkie out to contact Simon who was up near Hilltop for the moment. He gave him orders to come back, stomping off to make sure everything else was ready. Clementine rushed to Javi first, giving him a bone crushing hug.

“Clem, I’m sorry I—”

“You couldn’t have known,” Clem quickly said. “We just need to get there quick. And you’re coming with us.”

“Of course,” Javi replied.

“Come on, we’ll take this truck,” Clem quickly said.

It didn’t take long before everyone was prepped and driving out to the outpost. Clem started running through all the names, all the faces of the people that were supposed to be at the outpost. Several had her heart clenching. Were they still alive? Oh god, please be alive, she thought.

Javi tried apologizing again, not just to Clem, but most everyone quickly waved it away. He couldn’t have known. Besides, he might have saved his and Three’s life by leaving early. The thought was a bittersweet one as Clem thought about all their people and their undiscovered fates.

They made quick time to the area. Everyone jumped out, drawing their weapons and quickly making a perimeter. Negan went straight to the gate with a select few following him, including Javi and Clem. In the light, it was easy to spot a section of the gate that had been opened with wire cutters but in the early morning, it would have been invisible.

 Negan went straight to the gate and opened it quickly. Outside they found their first casualty with a knife wound to the back of the skull.

“No, no,” whispered Javi.

The few others that had been on guard duty were dead too. Clem followed Negan and a few others into the compound, everyone breaking off to look into the rooms. Nearly every bed had a body to fit it and a knife wound somewhere on the face. There was Aman and Janet and other faces Clementine recognized. She searched quickly despite knowing what was coming. She still wouldn’t be able to believe it until she saw it. She needed the certainty, to look it in the face.

In and out of rooms she went before suddenly walking in on Negan and her heart sunk to the floor.

He was kneeling by the bed, one hand tangled up in Tory’s hair as he pulled her face up to look at it and confirm her identity. Clementine had known she’d be here, yet a small part of her had been holding onto hope that Simon might have called her to help at Hilltop. Or maybe she’d just been away from the compound, out on an early run before all this had happened. Everything would be ok and Clem would be able to run up to her and hug her tight, just as she had Javi.

But no, the nights playing cards and showing Clem new comics and simply having the chance to be with someone her own age, even if she had been older by several years, that was all gone. That little birthday party Tory had thrown her? It was now the first and only one she ever would.

Clem didn’t shed a tear. She didn’t need to and she could tell neither did Negan. A soft sigh escaped his lips though as he pulled back from her. For once, his hands just hung at his sides. He was just so damn still.

Someone came up behind Clem, soft, cautious. It was Javi, and Clem watched as he slowly approached. He reached out and grabbed Negan’s forearm. Clem was surprised when Negan didn’t pull away, not immediately anyways. The three of them stood over Tory’s corpse for several silent seconds before Negan suddenly turned to them. There was a smile on his face again. It wasn’t forced like some might have expected but it was different. More deadly than before.

“Well, I fucking guess if you want a motherfucking job done you have to do the damn thing yourself. Clearly these fucking people are more of a fucking threat than we initially thought. We’re going to fucking corner them by tonight and give them a real fucking introduction to the Saviors.” Negan’s voice hadn’t risen like it usually did. Each word had been carefully chosen and Clem knew this wasn’t going to end well for the people who’d caused this.

She mimicked his smile, soft and deadly as Javi said, “We’ll find them. I’ll make sure to gather the remainder of Aman’s men.”

Negan nodded in agreement and the three left the room to join the larger group. Everyone worked quickly throughout the day. People communicated back and forth with some leaving to go back to the Sanctuary or elsewhere and others joining them out in the forest. They created blockades on all major roads and finally managed to tear some information out of the Hilltop members. It seemed this group had been in contact with them for a while now and Negan would think of a punishment for that later. Now they needed to make these new people know who the fuck they were dealing with.

Clem stayed with Negan for the rest of the day. She and Javi kept in the loop as much as they could, both ready to be there when they managed to narrow down where the people would be.

Thankfully as more information started to filter in, there seemed to be some type of emergency that the new group was going through. They would be leaving the safety of their community and it seemed a great deal of their usual caution had gone up in the air. As the night came on them, it seemed the group was trying to get to Hilltop. That was the direction they kept moving towards but the Saviors managed to block them off and narrow their possibilities. The group probably thought they only had one choice left which was the real beauty of it all. They had no choice as they ran straight into the Saviors.

Plenty of people had wanted in on the last part of the plan. Anger and revenge were heavy with their people and it would have been easy to choose the most blood thirsty. Some of those types of people were there but Negan had also focused on the more levelheaded ones like his lieutenants. It would have been nice to just kill these people for what they’d done but their community would be a lot less agreeable if they killed off so many. Someone would die tonight, that was clear to everyone, but it would be done as a warning and the start of a new ruling for these people, not pure revenge despite how much some wanted it.

A part of Clem wanted exactly that. She wouldn’t shed tears over Tory. That got her nowhere. She’d hold onto her memory and maybe even pass on some of the good or funny stories she had of her. But right now crying wouldn’t bring her back and to be fair, neither would killing these people. But it certainly felt more productive.

Clem and Javi were there, guns drawn and forcing the people to their knees as they tried to run through the woods. Clem could see that the pregnant woman was sick and that was probably why they’d been trying to get to the Hilltop since they had their own doctor there. A small amount of sympathy formed in Clem’s stomach but not much. These people had put their own family at risk. They were here all of their own accord.

Her eyes slowly traveled over each individual, mostly with detached indifference and a smidge of anger. But then one man caused her pause. He caused her to really look. He was older by about eight years and Clem couldn’t be sure if it was him. However, she kept a close eye on him as Simon made sure everyone was quiet and obeyed the orders.

“Dun dun dun duuuun. Are we fucking pissing ourselves yet or what?”

And then the show was on. It was different from how he usually addressed his people. From what Clem had heard, this was how he’d dealt with Hilltop to get them in control and to a lesser extent the Kingdom. Clem didn’t focus too much on the words though. Focusing on these people and making sure no one made a move was more important.

“You’re Rick right?”

“First you killed my people. And then you went, and you killed more of my fucking people!”

“You broke the rules, now you have to fucking pay.”

“Eeny, meeny, miney, moh.”

“You can scream. You can cry. Hell, you’re about to be doing that anyways.”

The whole speech seemed to go by in a flash for Clem, up until the moment Negan finally brought out Lucille and slammed her into the red haired guy.

“Holy shit! Look at this fucking fighter. He’s still up!”

And then he swung Lucille down again, hard, this one dropping the man to the ground. Clem could feel the ripple of satisfaction and relief move around the Saviors. Finally. And as Negan kept hitting the man, turning the skull to complete mush, Clem’s attention turned to a different guy in Rick’s group. His long hair was getting into his eyes and Clem could tell he was going to try and do something. He was tensing too much and looked ready to jump Negan. Clem tensed as well, along with a few others near her who were catching on. If he couldn’t control himself then all he was going to do was make the situation worse for his own group.

However that was his choice and Clem knew that once they forced the man back to his knees, Negan would punish them again for disobeying his orders.

But for Negan, he was fully focused in the act, flicking Lucille and causing blood to pepper across the people’s faces.

“Wooh! She’s a fucking vampire bat!”

And the long haired man only tensed more. Rather than shock or utter fear going through him, it was pure, unrestrained anger. He would act out…right…about…

“Clementine!”

The long haired man froze, all the people froze on both sides, shocked by the shout. Clem’s head whipped back to the man from before, her eyes narrowing. It was him.

Negan swung Lucille towards the man at the same time. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Glen shut up but Negan got down to his level, leaning in deadly close. “Repeat what you fucking said.”

He was trembling, tears falling down his face. The pregnant woman looked even more terrified, so that was probably his partner, but Clem kept focus on him. His eyes quickly turned to her again and he said, “I-it’s Clementine! I-the hat. I know it is. Clementine, please—”

“Well, it looks like you got a fucking friend here!” Negan cried out, standing back up and looking her way. “Got any fucking words to say to your buddy?”

Clem looked at Glen, just barely able to pull up the memories of their meeting. They had only known each for a few days. But before she could say anything or just shake her head, Glen shouted out, “Stop this! For…for Lee or—”

“For Lee?” Clem broke formation without a second thought, Negan instinctively stepping out of the way. “Lee’s dead, Glen. He’s been dead for years.”

“His memory then! He wouldn’t have wanted—”

“Don’t you dare say his name!” Clementine shouted. She holstered her gun, going to stand right in front of Glen as she kept her hands on her hips instead.

“Clemen—”

“No, you’re not in charge here. Not for a fucking second are you in charge so you’re going to sit quiet, and you’re going to listen to me for a moment,” Clem interrupted him. She didn’t even realize she was doing it, but her body language started to almost mimic Negan’s. Only this time she focused on Glen instead of Rick but she still talked to the group as a whole.

“The thing is, I respect you for what you were trying to do. If the situation was reversed, hey, I probably would have done it too. It’s about self-preservation right? It’s about survival? But you didn’t have all the facts and we are so much fucking stronger than you thought! Would I have made the same mistake? Don’t know, but you did and now you all have put your lives and your family’s lives on the line because of your actions. Not ours. Now—”

“Lee wouldn’t have—”

“Lee is dead! And I still hold onto his memory every fucking day but it’s not who I fight for. Not anymore. I’m not even doing this for the people you killed yesterday. Not for one of my best friends who you stabbed in the head before she could even fight back. I fight for the living. I fight for the people now who have my back, and I’m doing this for you. Because clearly, none of you have learned your lesson and you still think you’re going to wake up from this.”

As Clem said those final words, she’d walked closer to Javi who had instinctively held out his bat. In one smooth motion, Clem grabbed it, marched over to a woman whose black hair was tied up in a tight bun, and she hit her. She went down hard due to the angle but it wasn’t like hitting a walker. It always took so much more effort so Clem put in that extra work and she hit her again and again.

With the final crunch, blood spraying back onto Clem’s face, she stepped away and pointed the bat at everyone. “This is what insubordination gets you. Any past friendships we might have had,” she focused on Glen with that line. “It means jack shit now. The only thing that matters, is you belong to Negan and if you still don’t understand that, I, and everyone else here, is happy to add to the growing body count.”

And then she slowly breathed out and the satisfaction of the situation replaced the pure adrenaline. She calmly walked over to Javi and handed him his bat again. He flicked off some of the blood and hooked it back onto his pack before drawing his gun again. At the same time, Negan cried out, “I couldn’t have fucking said it better myself! Now Rick, let’s say you and I have a fucking talk!”

Negan took Rick away to properly talk to him. The rest of his group sniffled and still cried but the fight had left them a little more upon realizing that they could and would keep killing off their people if necessary. Even the man with the longer hair had had the fight leave him. It was like the first death had put him in shock with only rage filtering through. But with the second one the realization that he could do nothing but make everything worse finally seemed to be settling in for him. Now all they could do was wait for Negan and Rick to get back as Clem and everyone else made sure the people stayed in their fucking place.

It was a silent night with Clem barely moving an inch as she kept her gun trained back on them. The night slowly turned into the early morning and not long after that, Negan was finally back. But it seemed that Rick hadn’t learned his lesson yet as one more test came his way.

The Saviors watched in silence until Negan finally broke Rick down. As he sobbed, Negan patted him on the back with a satisfied grin before standing up.

“Welcome to a brand new beginning you sorry shits!”

And then after a few more words, Negan spun his finger and the Saviors got in the trucks and cars and left. It was pure chance that Clem ended up with Negan seeing as no one was assigned to a specific vehicle. They were all headed back to the Sanctuary to regroup anyways. But maybe Negan had pushed her a little to get in with him, both of them alone for the first time in a while as Negan took the RV back.

“So did Javi know about Glen?” Negan first asked.

“I probably mentioned his name during one of my stories I’ve told him. But I met him when I was about eight. We were all locked in this store together. Once we got out, we split up almost immediately. Said he had friends he needed to look for,” sighed Clementine. “But Javi never met him obviously. It was long before we went on the road together.”

Negan slowly nodded. Silence stretched for a bit and at first, Clementine thought that was all Negan had wanted. To see if she had any information on Glen that would help. But then he said, “I’m sorry.”

It was so shocking that Clementine actually lightly slapped herself in the face.

Negan raised an eyebrow at her.

“Just needed to check if I was dreaming.”

He snorted.

“But no, really, what are you sorry for?”

“I should have had this fucking handled from the very god damn beginning,” Negan softly growled. “You know, for a second I wanted to blame Javi. I told him to fucking watch out for her, after I finally fucking agreed to give her a full on position rather than random hunting missions and patrol times. I told him to keep a fucking eye on her.”

“You told me to keep an eye on her too,” Clem softly replied.

“I fucking did. A lot of fucking people I wanted to fucking blame for this shit but that’s the thing about being the fucking leader. You’re the fucking leader for a reason and every fucking problem comes back to you in some fucking way or another.” Negan let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m not going to fucking lie to you Clem. This fucking community…” Negan actually laughed, a smile landing on his lips. “God damn Rick fucking Grimes…”

“But you broke him—”

Negan laughed a little louder. “Oh no! You don’t break a fucking man like that in a night. No, despite all the shit you saw, there’s still fight in him. Killing his people wouldn’t have fucking changed that either. He may have cried more and more. If I had wanted to, I could’ve made him fucking mutilate his own son, and you would have seen him crushed in that god damn moment, but a fucking man like that, he’d bounce back tenfold.”

“Then why didn’t you choose to kill him?”

“He’s the fucking leader. Sure, it would have really fucking broken his group up but they would have only been more fucking unruly. So far I don’t fucking see anyone that I could replace Rick with that would actually make things easier on us like with Gregory’s pussy shit attitude either. But what we’ve got now is that Rick will try to fucking follow the rules to keep his people safe.”

“But he’ll jump back. He’ll try and fight it?”

“Fucking eventually. It’s a temporary solution but it’s all I fucking got right now. We kill him, that community fucking shatters and there won’t be any getting along. What we can get from them will fucking disappear like that,” he said with a snap of his fingers.

Clem nodded in understanding. “Then we’ll try and find a balance. We’ll try and keep them under control without being forced to run them off or even kill them all. Just don’t make me go there.”

Negan curiously looked over.

“I don’t want to deal with Glen ever again. I could see it on his face. If we met again…he’d try. Against the strong words I said to him,” she gritted out, “he’d probably mention Lee again and I…I don’t think I can keep a level head with that. Which is exactly what you’ll need in dealing with that community.”

“Fucking understood Clementine,” sighed Negan. “I can deal with that. Besides, I’m going to be a bit more fucking on them than I am with Hilltop or the fucking Kingdom. I can already fucking feel it. It’s going to be a big fucking slippery slope ahead of us.”

Clementine softly hummed in agreement, leaning her head against the window as the trees flew by outside.

* * *

Guilt had welled up inside Javi and it hadn’t let go. All those people gone, even Aman, his own lieutenant. If he’d been there…just maybe if he’d been there…

When that man had said Clementine’s name, Javi had been as shocked as the rest. The name Glen had just barely rung a bell and from the way Clem had talked, Javi figured she’d mentioned him in a long ago story. It was some crazy world, how people could meet up again after all that time. Javi was just happy that Clem’s relationship with Glen had apparently been short lived. He would have hated it for her if there had been something deeper there other than a short lived acquaintance.

But even after seeing the show, even after watching Negan and then Clem kill those people, the guilt didn’t go away.

Javi knew things would still need to be done. People needed to be prepped and readied for this new neighbor. However, all those that had been present throughout the entire night were allowed to rest for the day. Javi saw Clementine when they got back and asked, “You ok?”

“I’m good for now,” Clementine replied. “We’ve calmed things down, but things are going to just get more intense from here on out. Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Javi lied. “I um…I need to take a break. I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours now.”

“Yeah of course. Go sleep. I’ll see you later.”

Clem walked off as Javi headed straight for the barracks. He didn’t expect anyone to stop him on the way, the entire compound in a buzz except for the other few that were headed straight to bed. Once inside the building, the place was eerily quiet. For once, everyone else was outside and running around. No one was leaning up against the wall and chatting with someone else. No one was stopping Javi to ask a question or give him a quick order as still others passed in the hallway. It was just silence.

“Hey, Javi!”

He stopped at the sudden booming voice, knowing immediately who it was. Letting out a shaky breath, Javi muttered, “If you’re here to blame me, no worries. I already got you covered.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I honestly thought about going down to the med ward and fucking planting a kiss on Three.”

Javi quickly turned around at that. His brow furrowed and he said, “What the hell does that have to do with—”

“Thanks to him being a dumb fuck and breaking his leg, and then being too much of a whiny son of a bitch to wait to get back here, we lost two less fucking men,” replied Negan as he came to stand in front of Javi. He looked back but they were completely alone. “I wanted you to fucking know I don’t fucking blame you. God damn thought about it. But I fucking don’t.”

Though the guilt was still there, Javi managed to breathe a little easier at that. “Really? Because I thought you were going to take my head off this morning. And that was before we knew exactly what had gone down.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t know what the fuck was going on and I needed fucking answers,” Negan said with a small shrug.

And then he surged forward, cupping one of Javi’s cheeks and kissing him…not quite as harshly as usual. They stood in the hallway, Negan moving his lips just slightly, turning Javi’s head and slowly working his lips, before pulling back.

“Get some fucking sleep Javi. And be fucking prepared when you wake up.”

Javi was too exhausted in so many ways to really be shocked by Negan’s actions. He’d probably question them later, but for now, he just silently nodded. He watched Negan leave before slowly turning back and heading straight to bed.


	8. Family Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I wasn't planning on updating this so soon but it just kind of happened lol. I also added one more chapter because unless I made the chapters super long, I was going to end up rushing the ending too much. Hopefully I'm still not rushing it but I'm super excited to finally get to this point as things heat up. Thanks again for everyone reading this including any kudos and comments given! It's really kind of you and I've had tons of fun writing this so far. I'm really excited to finally be getting near the end. Hope you enjoy!

Despite what people had said about sixteen being some type of coming of age number, Clem felt much more the adult once she turned seventeen. Three good, long years with the Saviors had come and gone but Clem was starting to wonder if that was getting ready to crumble too. As they’d expanded, the surrounding area was a lot more crowded than they’d initially expected.

The people around them and underneath them had started to outnumber their own people and it worried Clem. They tried to keep each community separate but things weren’t perfect. They knew that Alexandria and Hilltop had been in communication with each other and even after making threats against both, Clem doubted it had actually stopped them. They had just grown more cautious because of it.

Then Oceanside popped up. A quick, bloody skirmish was all that came out of that with half the people disappearing into the woods. There was a chance they’d left the area but Clem imagined they’d just hidden themselves better than before. If they ever had a chance, they’d strike again.

And next came Jadis and her weird way of talking and her people in the trash piles. They had no way to know exactly how many people were there and got firsthand experience of how booby trapped the landfill was. An agreement was made with them that they’d stay out of the Saviors way and not take from them as long as they wouldn’t take from Jadis. However, Clementine, and she believed everyone, took that agreement with a grain of salt. That woman was only in it for her people which, to be fair, was exactly what the Saviors were doing.

But Clem could easily see them fighting for any team or even just for themselves if they found an opening.

Things had intensified quickly in the last year with the three very different confrontations that came with the new groups. Everyone was constantly on guard. Negan was even being run thin though he worked hard not to let many see it. The stress was understandable of course. Negan suddenly had enemies on every side and if an outright fight occurred, they no longer had a guarantee that they’d win. Neither did it help that at the beginning of this, Rick’s group had fucked them over too with the death of one of their lieutenants and a good portion of their men.

Clementine couldn’t help but wonder if this was unique to the area or if the whole country, the whole world, was just pockets of people now. Everyone either making deals or fighting or ruling or being ruled by others. She wondered what places might actually last a descent amount of time. And what others would, or already had, broken under the sudden stress of the people around them. For the moment, it was hard to say what would happen to the Saviors. Right now, Clem just kept fighting and supporting her people as best she could.

Negan had kept his promise about Alexandria too. On the few times when Arat went there, she always had some other order for Clementine which she was grateful for. She still heard a lot about what happened there with the usual bi-weekly dealings. She remembered when she’d heard about Negan killing a guy there, Spencer, who’d been trying to go over Rick.

Clem figured that to a lesser extent, Negan was trying to make friends the only way he knew how by ‘protecting’ Rick’s leadership. More importantly though, from what Clem had heard about Spencer, having him in charge would have torn the community in half. It wouldn’t have weakened it like how putting Gregory in charge of Hilltop had though. More likely, Rick and the people backing him up would have separated and prepared themselves for a strike against the Saviors with only Spencer and those left to do the work for the Saviors. It would have weakened the amount produced by Alexandria, something which might have been fixed by just putting pressure on the community and making Rick’s people come out of hiding again. However, there wasn’t any certainty in that approach, and at least this way they knew where everyone was.

All this and more Clem heard through the grapevine though. There was actually only one time when she directly asked about the place. It was to Javi, right after he’d come back from a supply run there.

“Did you meet up with some walkers on the way?” asked Clem as she fell into step with him.

Javi looked down at the dried blood still on his sleeves. “Not exactly.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Maggie, you know, the pregnant woman? Glen’s wife? She had the baby today.”

“Wait, really!?”

Javi nodded. “I was with her when she went into labor. They hadn’t planned for it today. It came early I think and the people that would have helped were out on a supply run. I just…stuck around. I mean, it looked like they could use all the help they could get.”

“I helped deliver AJ,” Clem said.

“I remember you telling me about that. Still think it’s insane that you were like, what, ten? Eleven? And you managed to pull it off? I’m in my thirties now and I was freaking out.”

Clem chuckled. “Maybe it’s a guy thing.”

Javi rolled his eyes. “Maybe. But the point is it went smoothly. At least by the time I left they were both alive and the baby was healthy. It was weird though.”

“Delivering a baby?”

“I mean, I guess. I can definitely mark it off the bucket list,” snorted Javi. “But no, Glen actually came up to me afterwards.”

Clem shot Javi a warning stare.

“Don’t worry! He didn’t try to talk to me about you or Lee or anything. I think he gets the message that you’re not friends from the fact you haven’t shown up again in months.”

“Then what did he say?”

“Well first off, he just seemed surprised that I helped. I told him it didn’t matter I was a Savior. It’s a damn baby! You know? If I can help, I will. I feel like at least some people would agree with that, you know?”

Clem nodded in agreement. “So what did he say?”

“That I seemed like too much of a good guy to be working with Negan.”

“And you said?”

“That good and bad don’t matter anymore. It’s about survival and saving your own skin. And the guy beside you if it’s possible,” replied Javi. “He said that he guessed that was where we differed, told me thanks for helping his wife and kid, and left.”

Clem gave a small nod. “Anything else happen?”

“No, same old same old. I mean, they’ve at least gotten into the pattern and they’re following the rules but you can tell there’s more fight behind them than the Kingdom and some of the people at Hilltop.”

Clem nodded in agreement. “I’d be amazed if we made it through another full year without some kind of shit going down.”

Javi nodded. “It’s starting to get way too crowded around here. And it doesn’t help that we still know jack about Janis and her people. For all we know, they could have the power to come in and fuck us over today.”

“We just have to stay prepared,” sighed Clem. She looked to Javi as they were still walking and held out her fist. “But we’ll find each other again, if shit goes down. Right?”

“Right,” Javi said, bumping her fist with a small smile.

And so the weeks kept passing. Though not exactly calm, for a little while everything was at least consistent. Clem knew where everyone was, she knew exactly what should be happening and when. No surprises occurred and thankfully no more groups seemed to be popping up around them.

But of course as soon as Clem thought everything was ok, things had to blow up in their face again.

They got word from Simon that Hilltop had been raided by some unknown people. At first he’d thought it was some lie to explain why the portion given to the Saviors was so small this time. However, Hilltop quickly showed the evidence and even went so far as to explain that something like this had happened several years ago, before Negan had even come to Hilltop. The way they’d gotten in and the items taken had been similar too.

That alone made Clem and many others wonder if they had another group in the area. The fact that the attacks had been so far apart made it less likely it was the same people and less likely it was a rooted community. However, if Hilltop was to be believed, the similarities with the attacks couldn’t be coincidence. And of course, considering their streak so far, Clem wouldn’t have been surprised if they got oh so ‘lucky’ as to find another group near them.

With the lieutenants needed by Negan’s side, Clem led a few informational recon missions into the area. Other small groups were routinely sent to try and find more of a trace of these people. Eventually a few groups were spotted along with one storage unit that was found full of Hilltop supplies. They didn’t take any back though, instead posting people in the area to figure out who was taking them.

Clem didn’t happen to be on that mission, instead hearing from someone else about what they’d found. It was definitely another community. From the sounds of it, they seemed to have sectioned off part of the city of Richmond, just northeast of Hilltop. Richmond was relatively far from the Sanctuary, but that didn’t make these people any less of a threat.

What with how fucked everything had become with Rick’s people, Negan chose to become part of this right away, creating a quick, small team to go to Richmond and see what they could find out about the group. Clementine immediately volunteered for it when Arat announced she was going and a few other people randomly joined, including Javi.

They drove out to the area, the trip taking a few days even as they arrived a bit away from the city. They stowed the vehicles and continued the rest of the way on foot. For one, they didn’t want this new group to fully know what they had and cities were also deadly mazes nowadays. It would do them no good if they lost a vehicle in one of the streets. Thus, they moved slowly, even more time passing than they would have liked.

Once they were really getting deeper into the city, Clem couldn’t help but flash back to when she’d arrived down south with Lee and everyone. There were still places to find cover but it was different than in a forest. And if they got backed into a corner? No one knew this city and even if they had before, there was no way to know what roads were blocked, which buildings were partially collapsed inside. They were risking a lot but they had to find out who these people were.

They stayed in the buildings when they could with everyone taking a shift to watch out for those that slept. During the search, they were out of range of the Sanctuary. The only way they knew anything about what was going on back at home was through the contacts near the Hilltop. Negan gave what orders he could but for the most part, the place was being run by Simon. That thought made Clementine hope this trip would be over sooner though it was hard to say.

As they walked through the city, they regularly stopped to try and find a good vantage point on a building to see what was ahead. Most of the time it just signaled more crowded, destroyed pieces of city, but on one cloudy day they finally spotted something of importance. It was sometime in the afternoon as they carefully made their way through the building and finally up to the top. The view stretched far over the city and just in the distance…

“There,” Arat announced, spotting what looked like a gate.

Clementine pulled out the binoculars and focused in on the gate. She saw the sigil and at their distance, she managed even to see a few familiar faces. “Oh shit.”

* * *

Javi was closest to Clementine and quickly asked, “What is it?”

She silently handed him the binoculars and looked at the gate. He quickly remembered the burned on sigil on Clem’s arm. It had to be the same one. And then he looked at the men at the gate, at their faces. Immediately, a part of him tried to rationalize it. David was a common name. It was possible Clem’s stories and Javi’s didn’t have to coincide. But then he thought about David, thought about his background and what people had grown to become capable of in this new world.

Javi’s hands dropped as someone else took the binoculars to get a better look at the situation.

“That’s David, isn’t it?” he murmured.

“Yeah-but wait! How do you know that?”

“Because he’s my David too. He’s my brother.”

“Oh you have got to be fucking shitting me,” growled Negan.

Clem looked at Javi, eyes wide. She looked almost hurt.

“I didn’t know,” whispered Javi. “He never came back. I didn’t know where he’d gone.”

“In that case, I’m more fucking interested in what Clementine has to say,” replied Negan as he took a look too. “That’s the same fucking symbol as on your arm. Right? Who the fuck are they?”

“When I knew them, they called themselves the New Frontier. It was a couple of months before I even met Javi,” Clem quickly said. “I have no idea what they’re like now.”

“But you recognized David. Recognize anyone else up there?”

Clem nodded, quickly giving everyone else an overview of the New Frontier and the people she remembered in it. “But him being your brother could be a good thing,” Clem reluctantly muttered. “You could probably get in there. Tell us what it looks like on the inside.”

“You got a fucking problem with it?” Negan immediately asked as he carefully looked Javi over.

Javi hesitated for a second. The shock of seeing his brother for the first time in years, in nearly a decade now, had finally ebbed away. He didn’t know what kind of man his brother had become but he knew what he had become. He knew who he had to protect now.

“I can gather the entail.”

“Well you can’t go alone,” Clem quickly said. “You need someone to watch your back in that viper’s pit.”

“I can go,” Arat started to say but Negan stopped her.

“I’ll go.”

“What? Don’t trust me around my brother?” asked Javi.

“No, I do,” Negan replied. From the look he gave Javi, it was hard not to believe him. “I just want to see these fuckers first hand. Arat, I want you to fucking get as much information as you can on the outside. Find the perimeters. See if there are other gates. Keep in contact with the Hilltop at all times. Don’t fucking contact us unless we contact you first.”

She nodded in understanding along with the others behind them.

“Well, we should probably get down there before the sun’s down Greg,” sighed Javi.

“Who the fuck is Greg?”

“Uh, you obviously. If they’ve been raiding the Hilltop and the area around it, the only name they’re bound to recognize is yours,” replied Javi. “You can’t use it.”

“Ok, you got a fucking point but I fucking choose it. It’s not going to be fucking Greg,” muttered Negan. He looked back at Arat. “If we don’t contact you before tomorrow morning, assume the fucking worst.”

“Understood,” Arat said.

“Then let’s hurry up and get fucking down there,” replied Negan. “Come on Doe-Eyes. Let’s get this fucking family reunion over with.”

Javi let out a soft sigh. He started to follow Negan but paused. He rushed back to Clem and hugged her tight. “You’re still my family,” murmured Javi. He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes and held her shoulders. “Whatever happens, it doesn’t erase what you told me either. And if I can, I’ll find out what happened to AJ too. I promise.”

Clem only looked shocked for a second before a smile graced her lips. As Javi dropped his arms, she held out her fist. Javi bumped it. “Sorry I even thought of doubting you.”

“I forgive you,” smiled Javi. “We’ll be in contact soon.”

“You better or I’m going in there with even more reasons to fuck up David’s day,” replied Clem.

Javi nodded in agreement, now following Negan off the roof. At first Javi just focused on getting back down to the streets and then on going in the right direction. Despite how much of a death trap a city like Richmond now was, it also meant few could probably get to the New Frontier so the placement wasn’t completely asinine.

Javi killed a _muertos_ that was getting a little close when Negan finally spoke up about the elephant in the room. Or on the street technically.

“You know this probably isn’t going to be some fucking, hey let’s make a fucking deal! Hey, let’s be fucking friends thing. Right?”

“How many years have I been a Savior?”

“I’m fucking serious. I’d say there’s a good fucking chance the New Frontier is gonna become another fucking enemy. They god damn stole from us and that can’t be forgiven so fucking easily. And that includes your brother—”

“I fucking know Negan!” The moment the shout left Javi’s lips he regretted it, and not just because of the few _muertos_ that turned and started to slowly walk their way. “I…listen I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just…I honestly don’t know how any of this is going to go. I don’t know who David is anymore. And he’s my brother but…it’s not like that blood just erases everything we’ve been through either. I’m not going to turn my back on you just because he’s family. Our bond doesn’t mean that little to me.”

Negan finally cracked a smirk. “Our bond.”

“To you. Clem! The Saviors-you know what I damn well mean!” grumbled Javi. “Let’s just get this over with. And have you picked a damn name yet?”

“Still fucking thinking.”

“Well think faster! We should be coming up on the gate soon,” Javi sighed.

They walked a little farther but it seemed Negan wasn’t done. “Still, we’ll be here a fucking night, maybe two fucking days, and then we need to fucking bolt and get back to the others. I doubt your brother is going to take that fucking betrayal lightly.”

“Oh no, he’ll be furious,” sighed Javi.

“And you’re fucking fine with doing that, with possibly ruining things for good with him?”

“He made the first move. And I’m not even talking about the Hilltop. What he did to Clem…” Javi paused, taking out a _muertos_ with extra hard force. “I haven’t seen him in over eight years. Clementine I’ve been with for the past four. Some might argue blood is more important but it’s not. In this world, your family is your choice and believe me, in doing this with you, I’ve chosen my family. Maybe down the road David can come back from what he’s done but right now the New Frontier is the enemy. That includes everyone within its walls. You believe me now?”

“Oh, I already fucking believed you,” grinned Negan. “It’s just fucking fun watching you get fucking passionate about shit. Especially when it fucking involves me.”

“Of course you’d say that,” chuckled Javi. Still, it made him feel a little better which was nice considering the shit they were about to go into. “Ok, get ready. I think it should be right up ahead after this turn.”

Javi was right and once the gate was ahead of them, Javi slowed his pace to try and seem less threatening. Thankfully Negan followed suit, for once keeping behind Javi. It didn’t take long for the people at the gate to realize they weren’t the dead. Sadly, David didn’t seem to be one of them, having come off the wall in the time it took Javi and Negan to walk over. A couple of people ran around, and a lot of guns were drawn. Javi stopped.

“Hey! We’re just a couple of—”

“We don’t fucking care!” yelled a man. He looked really damn close to pulling the trigger.

“We’ve been out for a while! We’re just trying to find a place to stay the night!” Javi yelled out. He couldn’t just come out and say he was David’s brother. It would make it sound like they’d been watching them. No, hopefully he’d be able to stall long enough and David would show up on the wall again. Javi looked at the sky and quickly continued, “It does look like rain tonight! Doesn’t it?!”

“Don’t fucking care!”

“Ah come on!” Negan cried out, finally stepping forward. “Big community like yours can’t take on two fucking guys for a second?!”

“Like you’re even fucking worth anything!” The man laughed, clearly more amused than angry. To be fair, they were the ones in the better position anyways.

“We can work for our stay!” yelled Javi.

One of the men cocked his AK aggressively while the main guy yelled again, “Yeah, I don’t fucking think so!”

“Maybe we should have planned it better for whenever David was on patrol,” sighed Javi to Negan. It would be their luck that David would have moved back into the community right as they came. It looked like they were going to have to meet up with Arat and Clem again. Louder, he yelled, “Alright, we’re leaving! Sorry for the trouble!”

“You know,” muttered Negan as they both took a step back but didn’t actually turn away, “I think those fuckers are going to fire anyways.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Javi instinctively reached back, ready to grab Negan, to protect him and pull him from the fire.

But before any gun actually went off, Javi heard, “Hold on a fucking second!”

Negan grinned. “Well I couldn’t have planned this better myself.”

“But that’s not David talking,” muttered Javi with a frown.

“Thought the voice sounded a little feminine.”

Javi hit Negan but didn’t tear his eyes away from the gate, trying to place the distant voice.

“Who’s talking!? I want a name now!?” came the unknown voice.

“Javier García!”

Finally a face popped up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. But it wasn’t David.

Javi felt his own mouth drop open. “Kate?!”

“Oh you just had to go and make this more fucking complicated,” groaned Negan.

“It’s not like I planned for this ahead of time,” muttered Javi.

“Open the gate now!”

“But what about—”

“Now!”

As the New Frontier squabbled for a bit before the gate finally started to open, Negan asked, “And who the fuck is it? Can’t remember you mentioning a Kate.”

“She’s my sister-in-law. We and—Gabe…Mari…” At the thought, Javi took off running as Negan groaned and threw his head back.

“Too fucking complicated.”

Kate came out of the gate just as Javi grabbed her and hugged her tight. “Holy shit Kate! I thought-I thought you were—”

“Javi, we don’t have time for this,” Kate got out just as Negan came up to stand by them. “If you turn and leave now—”

“Wait, why would I leave?” asked Javi. Negan immediately leaned in with interest.

“It doesn’t matter. If you stay within the city I can try and find you but I can’t explain here—”

“Kate, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You have to! I’ll make up a reason. You just can’t—”

“Is that fucking Javi!?”

There was the voice Javi had been expecting. He focused on the look of regret that crossed Kate’s face before she quickly smiled and said. “I know! I can’t believe it either David.”

“I can’t believe you’re alive! Kate said you got kidnapped, though I can’t say I’m surprised. Sounds like you,” snorted David.

Javi resisted the urge to groan. “I tried to get back. I really did—”

“All in the past little brother,” David said with a hard slap to Javi’s arm before he hugged him. “Who’s your friend?”

“Well…” Javi made a face at Negan that basically said hurry up with a new fucking name.

“Andrew,” Negan quickly said, walking forward with his hand out. He shook David’s. “We’ve been traveling together for a couple of years now.”

“Let me guess. You met by saving his sorry ass, huh?” laughed David.

Javi again resisted the urge to let out a massive groan. He sadly couldn’t say he was surprised that years without seeing David and one of the first things he had to do was insult him. “Actually, I saved his ass. More than once I’d like to say.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” laughed David. “Come on in. A friend of Javi’s is a friend of mine.”

“Don’t you have to ask someone for permission or something?” asked Javi, distinctly remembering Clem had said the setup had been more of a group thing. Joan was one of the leaders’ names. Right?

“You kidding me? Only permission needed is my own,” smirked David. He put his arm around Kate. “I seriously can’t believe this! I have my family back again.”

“Yeah, speaking of that, where’s Ga—”

“Hey, all questions will be answered in due time. Let me show you around brother! And uh, I’m assuming you can vouch for your friend here?”

“He goes where I go,” Javi quickly said.

“Must’ve become friends fast, huh. And a fellow baseball fan? What are the odds? Though I’m guessing no barbed wire can replace a metal bat. Javi’s is probably way better than that old thing right?”

Javi instinctively reached over and grabbed Negan’s arm, out of sight of David who was mostly guiding them forward. Javi looked to Negan, a fair warning that now was not the time to blow up over Lucille. He could feel Negan’s tensed muscles ease up a bit as he simply said, “You haven’t seen this fucking beauty in action. I think you’d change your tune then.”

“Who knows, maybe I would,” chuckled David.

“How many blocks do you have walled off?” asked Javi.

“A fare amount. Enough space for everyone actually.”

Javi frowned. David wasn’t one of those people who just waved around averages. Having been a soldier, he always strived to be pretty factual and straight forward. Of course, he could have changed but looking at how rigid everything seemed, Javi doubted it. Why would David not want him to know the exact number?

“You both look pretty good for being on the road for a while,” David added. “You really just walked all the way here?”

“We actually had a car but it broke down early this morning,” Javi quickly said. “We saw the city in the distance and figured it could offer some shelter from the weather.” He pointed at the gathering clouds for emphasis.

“And you just ended up here. Damn! Talk about some crazy luck, huh brother?”

Javi nodded. “Real crazy. So about Gabe and—”

“They’re not here. They’re actually up at this ranch right now. We do business with them a lot. They’re doing some manual labor for them and in exchange we get some food for it,” David quickly said. “But we can talk about them when they get back. So over here is where most of our people live. We’ve really cleared out the space…”

Javi let David talk despite how the questions started pouring into his head. The way he’d talked, it sounded like they got plenty of food from the ranch and there had to be space for a garden around here. So why steal from Hilltop? And what had happened to the other leaders? Why did Javi feel like he was at boot camp? What had Kate been trying to tell him? And why the caginess about his own children? Javi was already doubting that they were up at some farm.

They continued the tour with David adding, “Listen, I’ve got some business I have to attend to but Kate can show you to dinner. I’ll meet you there and then show you your rooms. Ok?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Javi replied.

David quickly hugged him and slapped his back. “I really am glad that you’re back Javi. From here on out, you won’t have to worry about moving around like before. You’re already a damn citizen as far as I’m concerned.”

“And what about…Andrew?” Javi asked, just barely keeping from messing up the name.

“Tonight’s fine, but I’ll have to talk to a few people about a more long term kind of thing,” David said. “You understand right?”

“Family’s family. I get that shit,” Negan replied, thankfully continuing to play along.

“Good, then I’ll see you at dinner.”

Javi watched his brother go, waiting until he was out of earshot to turn to Kate. “What were you—”

“Not here,” she hissed with a forced smile. Louder, she continued. “Come on, right this way.”

Javi nodded as he and Negan followed.

“So,” Kate said, “what happened after you were kidnapped?”

“Well…Andrew here was trying to steal a ride and happened to knock down the one I was in, only the truck was useless at that point. We made a deal and…” Javi continued the story, basically describing in detail how Clem and him had met, only with the name ‘Andrew’ instead. He also left off meeting Negan and the Saviors completely and simply finished with, “Since the weather’s getting warmer we decided to head up this way again. I didn’t even think that we could’ve crossed paths again, Kate. I thought you were dead.”

“So did I,” she murmured.

As they passed a few people, Kate’s forced smile came back. She guided them into a building that had once been a school and went straight to an old cafeteria. It seemed news traveled fast as many remarked on Javi being David’s brother and no one questioned their placement.

Neither did anyone mention David’s kids which only increased Javi’s suspicion. And now that he thought even further on it…the youngest person looked to be in their late-twenties and the oldest couldn’t be any greater than forty-five. Negan might have been the oldest person there!

As others clustered around them, Javi was forced to tell the tweaked story of how he and ‘Andrew’ had met again and again. He continued to keep it simple, just going off his and Clem’s adventures. For once, Negan was quiet through most of it. Javi realized that while he talked, Negan was taking account of everyone else, reading their reactions, probably figuring out things like rank and job titles. His eyes never stopped moving, taking in what weapons people were holding onto, their clothes, the light armor some had on.

Javi thus did his job as best he could by keeping everyone’s attention off Negan so he could take account of everything. It seemed to work. And of course when David came, everyone was asking them both questions leaving Negan to gather as much intel as he could.

“Listen Javi, we can catch up more tomorrow,” smiled David. “I’ll have Ava show you to my home. You can sleep there.”

“And Andrew,” Javi quickly said.

“Well—”

“It’s just been us two for a long fucking time,” Negan interjected. “We’ve gotten used to knowing the other has our back if you catch my drift.”

“You don’t have to worry about that here,” David replied.

“All the same, old habits die hard, you know?” said Javi. “This place is new for us and if you have a house all to yourself I’m sure space isn’t an issue.”

“Fair enough. Just for tonight then. I’ll see you in a bit,” David conceded. “Ava.”

A woman came over to guide them out of the mess hall. Javi wished he could have requested Kate to take them just so they could finally figure out what was going on. However, he didn’t want to raise suspicion and didn’t complain.

Outside it had started to rain. They moved quickly through the dark streets, Ava taking them straight to a large house that was almost completely intact. They walked inside and Ava turned the lights on. Javi wondered how many other generators they had. Ava said, “You’re free to figure out where you’re both going to sleep. The master bedroom is David’s and Kate’s. I’ll be down here if you need me before David gets back.”

“So David doesn’t trust me that much,” Javi said.

“You want some advice? Any brotherly concern is just smoke and mirrors. No one trusts either of you. You got to prove that here.”

“Well, we’ll see if we can do just that,” Javi replied.

He turned away and walked up to the second floor, feeling Ava’s eyes on him all the way up. Javi and Negan went to the nearest room but it was locked. Javi frowned at the door. The placement made it doubtful it was the master bedroom meaning something important was probably in there, but what?

Javi went to the next room. This one the door opened and Javi flicked the lights on. It was a clutter of random parts that must have been moved out of other rooms nearby. The moment Javi closed the door, Negan placed Lucille to the side and fell into the nearest, dusty couch. He said, “Please tell me you’ve got as weird of a fucking feeling about this place as I do.”

Javi nodded. “It doesn’t match up with what Clem told us. Like some of David’s men that she remembered are here but where are the other leaders?”

“The other fucking people?”

“Yeah, that too. Like, why have such a wide area blocked off when you clearly don’t have enough people to fill it? Why the empty space?”

“And why aren’t there any older fuckers? Younger kids? Why is everyone built like a god damn marine? No way do you get a group of people like that together fucking naturally. And what about your god damn niece and nephew because I ain’t buying this ranch bullshit.”

“Same here,” sighed Javi. “I guess we can check in with Arat though before David comes back.”

Negan nodded in agreement, quickly contacting her. The weather made the connection difficult to hear but they still managed to pass some information back and forth. Arat told them the exact dimensions of the place, which just confirmed their suspicions that it was way too big for the amount of people that seemed to be there. Arat also told them there was only the one gate and that the patrols were around the clock, even in the rain. She then added some extra information about Simon and the Saviors and that everything seemed to be going as expected with the other communities and the Sanctuary.

As Negan pushed the antenna down and hooked it on his belt again, he sighed, “Well at least none of that shit has blown up yet.”

“That’s good, though I would have thought you’d bring Simon along with us. I feel like now would be the perfect time for him to try and make a move on you.”

“True, our people are more likely to fucking listen to him than any other lieutenant. But considering how tense shit is with Rick’s group, that’s why I left him too. The Saviors need to be as fucking united as possible. Besides, even if he wants to make a fucking move, he’s more likely to keep shit together right now considering how tense shit is. If he made a move and it blew up in his face, that fucking shit would be on him.”

“Still, if you had stayed, you might have avoided that dilemma.”

“Yeah, or Simon might have done a shit job about this Richmond bullshit and we could have been attacked from this side like with fucking Rick. There aren’t any fucking options here without fucking risks and considering how unknown all this shit is, I’d rather be here,” sighed Negan. “Though for now it looks like all we can do is fucking wait. That Ava bitch isn’t going to let us do shit here.”

Javi reluctantly nodded. “I want to try and get into that locked room if we can. If David is like, the one leader here then maybe that has plans and information in there. Or what if it’s—”

“Hey, no fucking use hypothesizing right now. It does us no fucking good.”

“Well then what do you suggest?”

“Take a fucking breather. With everything being the way it is, been a fucking while since we’ve had a break. If you know what I mean.”

“We’re behind enemy lines Negan,” Javi dryly said, even as he walked over. He let Negan grab him, pulling him into the small space of the couch.

They kissed for a moment before Negan pulled back and grinned. “You know, I’m pretty sure this is one of my fucking fantasies—”

“I’m not even going to let you finish that thought. No, you are not fucking me behind enemy lines you god damn psycho,” Javi said, smiling through each word.

“Ah, you’re no fucking fun.”

“Of course I’m fun. Why else would you put up with me?”

“Well that is fucking true right there,” chuckled Negan.

And for a moment, despite all the shit going on around them and the myriad of questions that had popped into Javi’s head, he just stayed in the now. He’d meant what he’d said. He wasn’t going to go much farther than where they were right now. But Javi certainly didn’t argue when one of Negan’s hands wormed its way underneath Javi’s shirt and started sensuously rubbing circles into his skin.

They stayed like that for a time, at least until Javi heard the door being opened without warning. He jumped to his feet, pulling his shirt down just a little. Negan, unsurprisingly, didn’t move an inch except to move his arms behind his head with a satisfied smirk on his lips.

Javi just focused on David’s face. Irritation immediately bubbled up at the look his brother was giving him. “Ok, don’t act so damn hurt over this. You knew already.”

“I thought you said it was a phase.”

Javi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “That’s what you said. It’s not what I said.”

“It’s not—”

“Can we please deal with that later?” Or alternatively, never. “I’m alive. You’re alive. We’re together for the first time in years! Can we just focus on that?”

“Yeah…yeah whatever. I just wanted to tell you Kate and I are back and we’re down the hall if you need us. In the morning we’ll talk about what you can do long term here. Ok?”

“Ok. Sounds like a plan.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” David hesitated but eventually moved forward and hugged Javi. “Night little brother.”

“Night.”

David didn’t look at Negan as he left.

“Christ, your brother just keeps getting more and more fucking charming,” grumbled Negan once the door was firmly closed.

“He’s always been like that. He was in firm denial of me being bi when I came out.”

“It’s the fucking apocalypse! Fuck who you want to fuck!” Negan cried. “There’s a lot more important shit to care about.”

Javi shrugged. “It’s just how David is.”

The grimace didn’t leave Negan’s face, even as he said, “So, what’s the fucking plan?”

“Well, anyone else and I’d say we could try and break into the room next door but David was always a really light sleeper. And the rain and clouds outside would make us blind if we tried to sneak around from building to building. It’s best if we stay here and see what happens in the morning.”

“In that case, I’ll take the first fucking shift. You need to sleep. I’m honestly surprised you haven’t experienced whiplash after all the shit that got thrown at you this afternoon.”

“Wait, do you really think David would try to do something tonight?”

“I doubt it. But I still don’t fucking fully trust him,” Negan replied as he finally stood up. “Just get some rest Javi. We’ll see if we can find out anything more tomorrow and then we can decide if we need to stay another night.”

“Yeah, fine. Makes since. Just wake me up so you can get some rest too. You don’t have to look out for me all through the night.”

“No fucking promises Doe-Eyes.”

Javi rolled his eyes again but turned out the light and went straight to the couch anyways. He lay down, listening to the rain outside and the occasional noise that came from Negan as he paced around the room. Javi honestly didn’t think he’d fall asleep. He thought he was too wired yet after a certain amount of time, he could feel himself drifting off. Just bit…by…bit…

He jolted forward as the door opened. In the dim light, he could just barely see Negan standing up and grabbing Lucille. Before Javi could even think that Negan had been right and David really was going to try something, the door more fully opened and he barely made out the form of Kate coming in.

“Where’s David?” Javi immediately said. There was no way she could have snuck out of bed without him noticing.

“He’s not getting up anytime soon. I drugged him so we could properly talk.”

“You drugged him!?” hissed Javi, more shocked than angry. “What the hell is going on that you felt you had to do that to him?”

“This place is poison Javi. You don’t understand it but it’s dangerous. David is…he’s not the brother you remember.”

“I figured as much,” Javi replied as he glanced over at Negan. “Just…if you really did drug him, then you have time to explain everything, right? Start at the beginning, four years ago when we got separated. What happened?”

Kate let out a shuttering sigh that almost made it seem like she’d cry. But instead she walked over and all but collapsed on the couch. Javi walked over, looking down at her as Negan stood by his side. Years ago Javi’s first instinct would have been to comfort her. Now that thought was secondary as he tapped his foot impatiently, desperate for all the information he could get.

“We…we hid in the junkyard,” Kate finally said as she put herself together. “The van was totaled so myself, Gabe, and Mari hid. We hoped you might come back but you didn’t. Instead the men, the ones we stole from, they arrived instead. We managed to flee but Gabe got shot in the firefight. He needed medical attention immediately but we didn’t have anything. We didn’t even have a car!

“It was pure luck that we came across a scavenging group. They took us to Prescott. You said that you had come across a recently destroyed community, right? When you tried to find us again?”

Javi nodded. “Yeah I think Cle-Ne-Andrew called it Prescott. Right?” Javi stumbled over the name. For a split second he’d thought of just saying the truth yet he found himself even suspicious of this. He had no idea how Kate would react to the truth so he kept to the lie instead.

Thankfully Negan followed along and simply nodded in agreement.

“Well Prescott had a doctor, Eleanor. She started to help us. We thought we’d have time to let Gabe get better and wait for you to hopefully show up but we only got a few hours of rest. Those people had followed us and they blamed us for a missing truck apparently. Now I’m guessing they were talking about the one Andrew destroyed in rescuing you.”

Javi nodded.

“We tried our best to defuse the situation. I even gave myself up, hoping it would protect the kids and Prescott but they attacked anyways! The wall went down and then all the gunfire drew the _muertos_ and-and…” Kate stopped herself for a second in order to calm herself down. When she managed to breath a bit easier again, she quickly continued. “I escaped with the kids thankfully, along with Eleanor, the man who ran the place, Tripp, and another man named Conrad. Eleanor said that Richmond was the nearest place that could help us but by the time we got here it had already been taken over by the New Frontier.”

“And David was a part of them?” asked Javi, even though he damn well knew from Clem that he had been.

“Yes! But even worse, the people that attacked us Javi, that tried to take you and shot Gabe, that tore down Prescott, they were David’s men! He tried to make me stay quiet about it, saying things like he hadn’t ordered any of it and that he’d deal with it. And…and I did for a time, stay quiet that is. But eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I started looking into everything that I could. We found out that Joan, she used to be one of the leaders, was trying to make a move on David. She’d started commanding some of his men behind his back and had started stealing from some distant communities.

“All the while I wanted to get away, to protect the kids but Gabe was still healing and Eleanor told me we couldn’t risk moving him. So we stayed and a war broke out among the people, David and the people who backed him versus the people backing Joan. It was awful Javi and so many people got caught in the crosshair.

“After the carnage ended, it didn’t even seem like the entire thing had been worth it but I couldn’t leave at that point. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible, for being the catalyst to finding out what Joan was doing. I felt I had to help the people and I…I hoped that maybe David would get better, that he’d had his war. That now he would…I don’t know but the kids needed him. They did and I hoped he needed them too!

“Things calmed down for the next year, year and a half. We actually had a life, for the first time. And David…I thought he might have changed for the better. He was more caring and kinder and he…he seemed to support my ideas for a better community. But then exactly what Joan was trying to prevent happened.

“The winter was too harsh and people were dying. We had too many and not enough food and…and that was when we met Lilly and her people.”

“Another damn community?” asked Negan, finally speaking up.

“Yes, they’re to the east of us. David and her made a deal because they had more than enough food stored up but they needed laborers. It seemed to be a good deal only, only the people who left never came back and he…David kept making the deal.

“Eventually I saw the pattern. The weaker ones were getting weeded out and David…I don’t know if he was ever good or if the battle with Joan just broke him. But it…this place was becoming-it’s become his own unit! He-he’s playing the damn war that he always wanted!

“And at first it was just the walkers but then…then everyone started being seen as an enemy. You-both of you would have been shot immediately if I hadn’t intervened!”

As Javi listened, he honestly couldn’t say he was surprised. He remembered all those moments David had talked about missing the war, about how right up until the apocalypse David actually wanted to leave and be put back on the front line. He’d said that was the only real life for him and now it sounded like he’d made it.

Javi knelt by Kate finally. “But what happened to Gabe and Mariana?”

“They were traded to Lily! H-he traded his own children and-and the worst part was that to him he was somehow doing the right thing. It was like sending them to boot camp! They weren’t strong enough soldiers but Lily would make them that. I found that out, the deal. How it wasn’t laborers but foot soldiers Lily wanted and David went right along with her twisted war games. A-and at that point I couldn’t take it anymore, not when he took them away. The original group I came here with, the plan was to leave and try to find the kids but when it came down to it I sacrificed myself so Eleanor and Tripp and Conrad could get out.”

“When was that?”

“A few months ago. I-I’ve been trying to zero in on Lily’s location ever since then. I was hoping to get out and find them again and n-now-with your help—”

Kate started to cry and grabbed onto Javi. He blinked in surprise and slowly hugged her. Again, something that had once been so natural Javi had now forgotten. They’d fit together before but now it felt so alien.

“Um…when…when were you going to go after the kids?”

“Soon. Very soon! David’s been planning an assault on some nearby communities to the south of us. He’s already done a few raids just to take advantage of the situation but the real goal has always been intel. With everyone up in arms and looking one way, it would give me a chance to run in the other.”

Javi looked sharply at Negan even as Kate didn’t seem to notice.

“I think, we might need to leave tonight then,” Javi slowly said.

“What? Why?”

“Because our community is probably one of the ones David is planning to go to war with,” Javi replied, still keeping it vague.

“Oh god, Javi—”

“Is there a way we could leave tonight?” asked Negan.

“Of course but we’ll be blind out there. And any light we use will reveal our position to David’s men.”

“It doesn’t matter. We need to try and worn our people,” said Javi.

“And find Gabe and Mariana!”

“Yes, exactly, and the sooner we leave the better! Can you get ready now?”

“I-yes. Y…yes I can! I’ll be right back.”

Kate went to leave but Javi quickly grabbed her right before she could leave.

“Just…one more question. Ok? Did you ever know a toddler here? I mean, now he’d be a little kid but his name was AJ.”

“No, why would—”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later,” Javi replied. “We need to get ready to go.”

“Yes, yes of course! Wait here until I get back.”

Javi and Negan stayed still until Kate was out of the room and then Negan was immediately contacting their people. Javi restlessly walked side to side, still taking it in that David had given his children away. Despite the good and bad, Javi would have never said David was capable of something like that. But now…

“You need to get back to the Sanctuary to prep everyone for David,” Javi quickly said, “But my niece and nephew…”

“I think I have a way around that. From the way Kate fucking talked about it, I feel like Lily is going to be helping David in his fucking war game and we need as much intel on them as possible. I’m trusting you and someone of your choice to fucking find out all you can about them. And if you find your niece and nephew? Well that’s just a fucking bonus, huh?”

“In that case, I’m choosing Clem to come with me. There’s a chance David might have done the same thing to AJ.”

Negan nodded in understanding. “Well while we wait on your damn sister-in-law, how about we break into that second room now since your brother is fucking out of it?”

“Yes! Let’s do that,” Javi said, quickly rushing out of the room and over to the next one over. He really hoped this was going to be useful.

He hesitated for a split second, trying to figure out how best to get inside when Negan’s boot suddenly came from the side causing Javi to jump back.

“Really?!”

“What? It’s not like he’s going to hear it.”

“Ok, point taken. Kick on.”

Javi properly stepped back and Negan hit it several, hard times until the door broke open. Negan flicked on the light.

“Well look at what we fucking have here.”

It seemed Javi’s first idea had been right. His eyes quickly looked over the maps and markers. If he hadn’t thought David was playing general before, well he certainly did now. Javi grabbed a few specific ones and noted several markings to the east of Richmond that he didn’t recognize.

“These aren’t our communities. Maybe Lily’s place?” asked Javi.

“It’s fucking possible, though Kate said she had narrowed down where the fuck it was.”

“Still, just in case,” Javi replied. He folded up the maps and put them in his pockets.

There also seemed to be some plans for exactly how David planned to take on Hilltop and the other communities down south. As Negan started to memorize the plans and think of counterattacks, they both jolted at the noise from behind. They spun around, weapons raised and ready.

Javi’s heart dropped as disappointed flared up in his mind. “Kate, I can’t believe—”

“Oh, don’t put this on her, I knew what you both were from the beginning. We’ve been running our own missions down south. Do you really think I wouldn’t recognize someone as big Negan? Leader of the Saviors?”

Kate’s eyes widened in shock, showing that she hadn’t known. Negan just smirked and threw his arms back. “You fucking got me!”

“I know. I can’t believe you actually thought you could just come in here and take what you wanted! And you, Javi, working for someone like him and betraying your own family—”

“You mean like giving away your own kids?”

“I did what was best for them! She has learned so much under Lily—”

“They’re not your little soldiers—” Javi stopped himself. There was no point in arguing now. David had certifiably lost it. “And what about Kate? Huh? You’re holding her at gunpoint!”

“I knew she was going to betray me. Just like her friends who left. I always knew she helped them to escape,” David growled out. “And before, it was all Javi this and Javi that-and the moment you showed up I knew! I knew she’d try something.”

Javi looked around. There had to be a way out. They needed to get back to their people now!

“I don’t think so! I’ve already called my men here and if you come any closer, I’ll shoot her.”

“You’d really shoot your own wife?”

“I’ll do what’s necessary! And if that includes that, then so be it! You’re officially prisoners of war and you better get used to squealing because I will drag every bit of information out of you.”

“I don’t fucking think so,” replied Negan.

“Maybe not you, but somehow I doubt my little brother is going to stay silent when I have Kate here,” David replied. “I know you Javi. You’re not going to risk me hurting her.”

“No, David, I don’t think you do know me,” murmured Javi.

He looked at Kate, at the one person in front of him…and then he thought of Clementine and Arat and everyone else who would probably suffer if they didn’t somehow leave and get ahead of David to explain his plan of attack. He thought about how if he kept to David’s demands, he’d lose a chance to follow the maps he’d just collected and possibly lose his only oppurtunity to find his niece and nephew again.

There was a time when he might have not resisted, where he would have figured putting one life in danger wasn’t worth it, even if there were others on the line. That it wasn’t winning without everyone getting out unscathed. There was a time when Javi would have stayed and would have tried to talk things out. And there was definitely a time Javi would have looked at his options and he would have chosen Kate over almost anyone else.

But that time was long gone and after one glance at Negan and then the window, Javi’s mind was made up.

“Sorry Kate, but I promise I will find them.”

“Wait! You can’t leave me—”

“What the fuck do you think—”

But before David could fully understand the situation and move the gun out to point at them rather than Kate’s back, Javi had already turned around and ran straight towards the window. He hit it hard, glass and wood shattering around him as he fell and hit the ground rolling. He could feel bits of the window burrowing deep into his skin as the rain pelted him, having only gotten stronger in the past hour or so.

Negan fell right behind him, only pausing to pick up Lucille as he forced himself onto his feet.

“You absolute fucking mad man!”

“No time for compliments!” yelled Javi. “We got to go now!”

Javi picked himself up, ignoring the pain of the glass burrowing itself further into him. He grabbed onto Negan so he wouldn’t lose him and then they both ran into the dark, pouring rain as David’s men descended upon the area.


	9. Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this one took! I had some trouble trying to figure out how this chapter was going to go but with it done, I know exactly how the last two chapters will go and will hopefully get them out sooner. A massive thank you for everyone reading this and I hope you enjoy! I'm also changing the tags which should be their final version and if you missed Negan, don't worry he'll show up more in the next chapter definitely! Thanks again, sorry for the cliffhanger last time, and I will get the next chapter out as soon as possible! Thanks <3

It was Clementine’s turn to stand guard while everyone else slept when her walkie-talkie crackled to life. Negan had already contacted them earlier that night so Clementine doubted this was a second courtesy call. She pulled the walkie-talkie close to her ear as everyone else started to get up at the noise.

“-ime t- l-ve-”

“You’re breaking up Negan!”

“-et t- - wall! –eavin- now!”

“Something’s happened,” Arat quickly said. “We should get to the gate. That was the only part of the wall they could realistically get through.”

“We’re heading to the wall,” Clem quickly said in to the microphone.

“N-t wa—w-st si--”

“The west side?”

“Yes! Now!”

Arat frowned. “What the hell is he planning?”

“I don’t know but you heard him,” Clem replied. “We need to try and meet up with him now.”

They packed up what little they had and quickly moved out. As the rain pelted their backs, lightning flashed across the sky offering a second of better lighting. They stuck close together and tried to stay in the clearest sections of the road. Now would be a perfect time for a walker to suddenly crawl out from a pile of trash and bite someone’s ankle.

Arat led the way with a flashlight in hand. Those that also had one pulled out theirs, including Clementine. Even with it though, it was difficult to see anything except for the rain more clearly. Thankfully though they’d kept close to the New Frontier’s closed off space and it didn’t take too long to get to the west side. By now they’d started to hear what might have been gunshots from within the community, though the noise mixed with the increasing thunder around them.

“Hold!” yelled Arat. She stopped, covering her walkie-talkie as best she could. Clem listened to her own.

“Apa--me-t bui-din- by ch-rch -”

“The church!” shouted one guy. “I think I see it!”

They quickly rushed over, a flash of lightning allowing them to make out the spire of the church. And just beside it…

“You are fucking kidding me,” growled Arat.

Clem could just barely make out the two forms as they jumped from the room of the apartment building, over the wall, and on to the next building. It was difficult to say if they’d made it from their angle but Clem was going to assume yes as a scream didn’t echo throughout the night.

As several people rushed over to check on Javi and Negan’s progress down, Clem spotted several men popping up onto the other roof. She quickly fired at them, forcing them back as others supported her and still others protected the surrounding area from walkers.

They managed to keep the people back, even hitting two though it was impossible to tell if they were kill shots. Finally Arat was rushing back with Javi and Negan in tow as they must have ran down a fire escape to get there.

“Let’s find somewhere out of this fucking rain!” yelled Negan.

He quickly took the lead, guiding them through the rain and away from the wall. They ended up going by an old general store with a glass front that had been broken long ago. They went, doing a quick sweep of the first floor and making sure the second was securely shut. They killed one walker and then people were stationed at every entrance.

Clem walked over to Javi, quickly noticing the darker splotches around his face. She shined her flashlight on him to which he quickly reacted and covered his eyes.

“Ow! Really Clem—”

“Jesus Javi! You’re bleeding everywhere!”

“They’re mostly superficial-ow!” He cried out as Clem reached up and pulled a sliver of glass out of his cheek with her fingernails.

“What the hell happened?” asked Clementine.

“We jumped through a window. Javi was just kind enough to go first,” Negan replied as Arat let out a tired groan. “Listen, we can fucking chat on the way home but right now we need to deal with the fucking New Frontier. They’ve fucking decided they’re a god damn unit behind enemy lines and they’re fucking coming for us.”

Those that were watching their perimeter quickly turned to look at Negan with shocked eyes.

“I managed to take in a lot of their fucking troop movement. Obviously that’ll probably change now but it still gives us a fucking idea on how and where we need to get fucking ready. We’re going to find the fucking vehicles tonight and then it’s back to the fucking Sanctuary. Except for you and Javi.”

“Wait, me?” Clem asked in surprised.

“There’s another fucking group that’s been doing dealings with the New Frontier. You and Javi are going to find out all you fucking can with them before you come back. There’s a good fucking chance they’ll be gunning for us too. Everyone, give whatever fucking supplies you have remaining to them.”

Everyone did just that before Negan said, “We’re moving out now! Make sure the street is as clear as fucking possible.”

As their group started to move to the window, Clem caught sight of Negan roughly grabbing Javi and kissing him. The blood on Javi’s face smeared against his and Negan’s skin as he said, “You fucking come back.”

“Always,” Javi promised.

“You fucking watch out for this one Firecracker,” Negan said, looking to Clem. “Make sure he doesn’t do any more crazy shit and jump out of anymore damn windows.”

She snorted. “Now that I can’t promise.”

“No fucking surprise there,” grinned Negan as he walked off to the opening of the store. He looked from side to side, conversed with Arat for a second, and then everyone quickly headed to the right.

“Ok,” Clem said, “what the hell happened in there?”

“Let’s try and get a little farther from the New Frontier and find some better cover first.”

Clem nodded in agreement, both of them creeping back out into the pouring rain. The thunder and lightning were getting less frequent and seemed to have completely stopped by the time they chose a building to break into. The rain had lessened as well though they were still completely drenched.

They took a moment to find a suitable room. They went to the top floor so that it was less likely a group of walkers would descend upon them and so they’d have a better view of their area. They found a room that was next to a fire escape and also close to a building they could probably jump to if necessary. They boarded up the door first, protecting themselves as best they could before finally stopping to breathe and take stalk of all that had been given to them.

There was enough there to keep them alive for a few days but they’d probably need to scavenge for more before this was all over.

Both Clem and Javi stripped to what they were comfortable with. They then rang out their cloths in one corner and placed them on the least dirty places to dry. For the moment, they were just in their pants and underwear. Clem sat close to Javi, helping him get out any pieces of glass they could find.

“Alright, now explain what the hell went down there because we were preparing for a nice, sneaky get away or something in the morning or even the next night. Not this ridiculous shit.”

“Well Kate kind of screwed up the whole plan for us,” Javi replied, pausing to wince as Clem pulled out more debris in one of the wounds. He then quickly went into the full story. He talked about what he and Negan had actually seen along with the people there, and then jumped into Kate’s own story.

Clem remembered the names well. When they’d first met, his niece and nephew and sister-in-law had been the only thing on his mind.

“Do you think AJ—”

“It’s possible. It’s why I wanted you on this with me,” Javi replied.

“It’s hard to believe. I mean…David could be cruel but he still worked with the fellow leaders. He…at least had an idea about all the elements a community needed to run but this…”

“We can’t know everything that went on. David’s always been volatile though and…and there’s always been something there that felt like it could come forward if his calmer façade was broken.”

“Kate wasn’t able to give you any more details?”

“No…”

Clem watched carefully as Javi’s face twitched and not from the pain.

“Listen, Javi, you had to choose. And I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision but—”

“No, that’s the thing. It was easy. And I don’t…there’s not even any regret there. I thought there’d be something more, more sadness perhaps, even for David! But I just…with him I wasn’t surprised and with Kate…it was almost too easy to choose to jump.”

“Well, we’re hopefully going to find your niece and nephew, right? As long as you know you’ll make it out and your own survival is assured, the kids come first. If it was…oh I don’t my old friend Christa. If I suddenly ran across her for the first time in years and then had to choose between working with her and losing a chance to find AJ, I’d leave her and choose AJ every time.”

“But it wasn’t just that. It…it was like I was choosing everything over her. There was a time when I thought…well maybe that I…I might have loved her more than I should have. But when I saw her at the gate, right up until I chose, I didn’t feel any of that. Even when running I didn’t think, I need a plan to go back for her. Even now I don’t feel an overwhelming urge to do that. There’s more of just an urge to keep going.”

Clementine shrugged as she forced one of Javi’s wounds to open wider so she could get it cleaned. “Then that’s what you feel. At least you have answers now and you may see Mariana and Gabe again.”

Javi nodded. “I am hopeful for that. Though I’m not calling it some great family reunion yet. Besides, finding out all we can about Lily and their involvement with David is going to be our first prerogative.”

“Agreed. You know, I actually knew a Lily. Back when all this started.”

“Really? You don’t think…”

“I mean it’s doubtful but considering all the damn coincidences that have occurred so far I wouldn’t say it’s impossible.”

“It could offer us a way in. Just like I did with David.”

“Maybe, though I think stealth will be a better choice first considering how the group left things with her. Besides, we still don’t know if it’s the person I knew. Let’s take a look at those maps that you stole first.”

Javi carefully took them out. Clem leaned over to better see all the markings as they began to figure out the quickest way out of the city and over to the area. By combining what maps they had, they narrowed down the likely location and estimated the journey to there would take about two days unless they found a vehicle to transport them.

With a more concrete plan in hand, Clem said, “I’ll take first watch.”

“Not going to argue there,” Javi replied, wincing with each small movement. It seemed the adrenaline had worn off. He found a spot to lie down in and used his pack as a pillow. As he rolled towards Clem, he murmured, “You know, it’s almost like before. Just us two. On the road.”

“Yeah, it kind of is. We might actually need to get used to this again, depending on how David’s assault affects the communities. If he still goes through with it.”

“Let’s make a deal then. If shit goes sideways and we decide sticking around isn’t worth it any longer, we’ll meet up in that small town, the one where you and Negan got stuck in.”

“That place will still be within the zones of all the other communities. It probably wouldn’t be wise to stay there longer than a day.”

“That will be the plan then,” Javi replied. “We take what we can, who we can, and we’ll meet up there. And if we don’t meet up…”

“Maybe we’ll find each other again,” Clem replied with a sad smile.

“Yeah maybe…”

“Everything ends.”

“Now that is the one real truth of this world,” snorted Javi. “No matter what, if everything comes crashing down in a few days or if we last another month or even if a year goes by and we’re still standing, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad I met you when I got the chance.”

“Same here. You renewed my faith in people.”

“Happy to help.”

Clem rolled her eyes. “I’d hit you for that if you didn’t already look like you were already suffering so much.”

“Thanks.”

Clem chuckled and shook her head, focusing back on watching the rain lessen outside while also keeping her ears pealed for any noises out in the hallway. Considering she’d gotten a little sleep before Negan had unexpectedly contacted them, she let Javi sleep through the rest of the night.

In the morning they put on their stiff but thankfully dry clothes. It was certainly better than being covered in someone’s blood or a walker’s guts. They rationed out their food, eating their first small amount, and then made their way back to the ground floor of the building.

Unsurprisingly, the New Frontier was moving around.

Clem and Javi moved slow at first. They’d be able to get a lot more distance once they were back in the forest. For the moment, they didn’t need to draw anything to their location. When they saw something near, walker or human, they grabbed them, shoving a blade into the head or up into the throat to immediately quiet the living. One person Clem even recognized.

It should have bothered her more, how she grabbed her hair and slit her throat. It should have weighed on her mind as they finally got near the edge of the city. But these people had broken her trust and any former friendship she might have held onto. It made it so much easier to keep moving.

In a way, Clem imagined this was weirder for Javi. He could have been one of these people, waking up and working with them day in and day out. If he’d just stuck with his brother, maybe it would have been Javi’s throat Clem was slitting. Or maybe Javi would have spotted her and yelled for the men to gun her down. It had to be a surreal feeling.

But that was the world, even before the apocalypse. A hundred branching paths ahead of you and sometimes it was impossible to know where you’d end up.

They got out of the city and used a compass to keep on the right direction. They didn’t find any kind of vehicle though that wasn’t too surprising. This close to the New Frontier, David had probably run the surrounding area dry of all resources.

As they walked, they didn’t bother on the hypothetical. There wasn’t much point in getting their hopes up about who they wished to fine, even less with Clem. It was better to figure out what information they’d need before returning to Negan. Things could be breaking down soon but if they could hold out, they would.

The food continued to be rationed. They kept watch at night. They avoided making a fire, both to stay hidden from David and to not alert their position to Lily’s people assuming they were getting close. They moved quickly, sometimes even doing a light jog down paths and roads in order to cover more ground. Whenever they paused, it was always to double check the maps.

They continued the little road trip.

As expected, it took about two days and when they finally started to see signs of civilization, they slowed their approach. They found the main road the people seemed to be using, even seeing a truck moving out, back in the direction of David’s place. Clem imagined they’d already been in contact with each other. No doubt they’d be planning a new attack on the Sanctuary and the communities down south. Hopefully David didn’t think they’d send anyone directly to Lily’s place and hadn’t warned her against new arrivals. Still, they prepared for the worst, first just mapping out the perimeter. It looked to be an old welcome center for the state though the once picnicked covered areas were hardly recognizable anymore. They’d been doing a lot of building in the past years and though it was debatable whether much of the original group was around, Clem imagined the community had put down roots a while ago.

The patrols didn’t seem to be built on a standard multiple of ten or something. They had to have some kind of randomizer for time changes. It had to be harder on the troops, especially if you got an obscenely long one, but it was a smart idea. Instead of planning for the opening, they would have to take someone out in order to slip in.

That meant they’d have even less time to fully take in any information they found inside. Of course, they needed to get back to Negan and doing that would take even more time since Negan and everyone else had taken the vehicles back. It seemed taking the risk would be their only option, at least up until they saw someone new making the rounds.

Javi immediately picked up on how Clem tensed.

“Try to follow me here, but I’m going to take a wild guess that the Lily here is your Lily.”

Clem groaned. “Yes.”

“You think we could use that past to get inside?”

“It’s not completely unrealistic, but then we don’t know what David might have told her in the past few days. And Lily could be pretty unpredictable at times. We just need to get that information and get out of here. No time for any more reunions than the kids we’re looking for.”

“Fair enough. We should try for the back side. The wall isn’t solid there and is lower. We’ll be able to get in more easily once we break a hole in the rounds.”

“We could try and keep the person alive. We will be going in blind,” Clem quickly said.

“You really think they’ll tell us anything?”

“It’s worth a shot. Even just to get a bit more information before we go in. Besides, if they try anything we can just kill them.”

Javi smirked. “True. Let’s wait until it gets a little darker.”

Clem agreed and they found a nearby spot where they could still keep an eye on the place without being seen. Clem held onto the binoculars most of the time, looking over everything as Javi threw out ideas here and there. The only sound structure was the building that had once been the visitor’s center. Everything else was sturdy but still makeshift. Except the cages of course near the center. Clem had been able to tell there were people in them but not too many distinctive features from their angle. And certainly no one Clem recognized though to be fair, a lot could change when you jumped from age two to five. She couldn’t find anyone that looked like they might be related to Javi either. Considering David had called his partner Lily and Clem knew this Lily, she had to assume this was her. It couldn’t be just another coincidence. That was just too many and too many possible communities.

They’d have to check those cages of course just in case, but the visitor’s building was their goal. It would have the most information and hopefully any written plans between David and Lily. Now they just needed to wait.

The night moved into the early, early morning.

Clem spotted a young woman that looked about Clem’s size. Honestly maybe a little smaller which was great. She’d be easy to overpower and there was less of a chance they’d be forced to kill her in the spur of the moment. Clem pointed her out and then gestured Javi to follow. The person had come out with a man but they’d parted ways, leaving the younger person vulnerable. They got lucky as she came closer to the thick of the forest. Her eyes darted around, almost like she was taking in information. Clem didn’t have time to question that though. They needed an in.

Javi seemed to be thinking the same thing because he jumped her first. He came up from behind. He pulled her from the lights of the community and shoved her to the ground. His gun was pushed against the back of her head.

“You even think of screaming and you’re dead,” Javi growled.

The woman grunted, though it was hard to say if it was a proper response or if her mouth was just too full of dirt.

Clementine crouched near her head. “Listen, we need information about Lily. About this place. If you cooperate, you just might live.”

She didn’t respond.

“Ok,” sighed Clem. “We’ll just kill you and slip in before another rotation occurs—”

“No!”

“Then work with us,” warned Clem.

“No, no you don’t understand.”

Javi pushed her harder into the dirt as a warning but she kept talking too.

“There are kids in there. If this is some kind of raid, please don’t hurt them. I’ve been trying to get them out.”

“What are you to them?” asked Javi.

“A friend. I’ve been here for a while. Lily trusts me but I’m not one of them,” she quickly got out.

Javi and Clem glanced to each other.

Javi pushed his gun against her a little harder. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen. But I’ve been here for about two years. I tried to leave at first but I didn’t even know where I was supposed to go after leaving. And then more kids were brought in and I couldn’t leave them.”

Finally Javi started to ease up. Clem’s eyes went wide. They couldn’t have gotten this lucky. Could they?

“Do…do you have a brother?”

Clem could see the change in her, even in the low light. Javi stood up. He removed the pressure from the back of her head and muttered, “Stand up. Turn around.”

She complied. The first thing Clem noted was the eye patch. Her left ear was mangled and now that Clem could really look at her face, she could tell she really was young. But hardened too. The way she held herself, she’d been forced to grow up quick. Clementine could relate to that.

Her quick analysis of the girl, definitely not a young woman, was broken by the sound of Javi’s gun dropping. And if that wasn’t enough of a dead giveaway, the girl’s one good eye scrunched up in the darkness and she murmured, “Uncle Javi?”

Clem couldn’t imagine what was going through Javi’s head. His hands were shaking. They reached out, and then he quickly pulled them back. It was like he was imagining what he’d nearly done to her. Just how he’d been so close to pulling that trigger. He didn’t have the right to touch her after that. Yet his niece seemed to overrule his decision.

She surged forward, grabbing Javi and pulling him close. Finally, Javi’s hands came up. They continued to shake as his fingers ghosted over the eye patch. Clem could tell he wanted to ask. He needed to know. Not just about what pains she’d been through but about Gabe. Why hadn’t she said anything about him yet? But Javi swallowed instead. His eyes closed and any tears that would have fallen disappeared. He placed his hands on Mariana’s shoulders and looked at her in the one good eye.

“You said you have people you need to get out. We need whatever information Lily has about…” Javi faltered there. Unsure of how to ask it, how to explain it to Mari on the off chance she didn’t know.

Clem stepped in for him. “David, your father, apparently sold you to Lily. You understand that?”

Mari’s face hardened, but not in any want to defend her dad. “He’s not my dad. Not anymore.”

Javi relaxed at that. There was at least one conversation he wouldn’t have to have.

“We think he’s kept up his dealings with Lily,” Clem quickly explained. “And now the New Frontier is threatening our communities to the south.”

“We came here looking for you,” Javi honestly said, “but also for any information we could use to help our community. You said you have friends in there?”

Mari nodded. “There’s five of them. Violet, Louise, Ruby, Tennessee, and AJ.” Clem’s eyes widened. “Except for AJ, the others are pretty new. They don’t know how the system works yet so they’re still trapped in the cages. There are other kids too but they’re more likely to give in and explain everything to Lily instead of helping us.”

“If you can get Javi near the main building, I can help you get the kids out,” Clem said.

Mariana looked shocked. “But you don’t even know me.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re Javi’s niece and I know he’s not leaving here without you. And from the sounds of it, you’re not leaving without your friends,” Clementine replied. She looked to Javi and he nodded in agreement. “Well I’m not leaving without Javi so it sounds like we’re all going.”

“But…but we need to plan ahead and—”

“There’s no time for that Mari,” Javi said, gripping her shoulders again. “I’m sorry but we can’t get some convoluted, well thought out plan together, and right now we can’t catch up or have a heart to heart. We have people relying on us just like you and we need to act quickly if we have any hope of getting out of this.”

“I…yes I understand.” She quickly turned to Clem. It only took her a few minutes to think up a plan, her mind working quickly. “If you pretend to be one of the new kids that tried to escape, this could work. The commotion would also allow Javi to get to the main building. The doors are always locked but there’s a crawlspace you can get to on the east side. You’ll have to move a trunk that’s situated over the hole but it should work while I take Clem to the cages.”

“You really think they’ll fall for that?” asked Clem.

“They don’t bother remembering the faces. And I proved myself to them a long time ago. They’ll believe me.”

Clem looked to Javi, her question clear. Did he believe his niece? Did he think she was really helping them or just trying to trick them into crossing enemy lines? Anyone else and Clem would have put her own two cents into the conversation. However, here she fully relied on Javi. She waited, and the fact that Javi didn’t respond right away, that he had to honestly think about the situation, only made Clem trust his decision more.

“Then we’ll go with your plan,” murmured Javi. Clem immediately nodded in agreement. “You know this place inside and out. Tell us all you can and then let’s go.”

Clementine and Javi listened carefully and despite the dire situation they were in that they were having to rush through, Clem couldn’t help but smile. Whether or not the AJ Mari had mentioned was her AJ or someone else, at the very least they’d found Javi’s niece. Mariana was smart and her way of laying out everything reminded Clem of David from all those years ago. But the way her one good eye was shining and her desperation to help the children she considered to be in her care reminded Clem more of Javi.

She hoped Mariana made it out of this. Not just for Javi’s sake but also because Clem hoped she’d get the chance to know her.

As Mari finished, Clem did admit the plan had her nervous though. If Mari was going to backstab them, then she’d be able to lock Clem up in one of those cages pretty quickly before Clem even knew what was happening. Clem would also have to leave most of her weapons with Javi to make this work and if Lily spotted her, she could recognize her. However, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. Again, if Javi trusted her, then Clem trusted her as well and this was a better bet than them running in completely blind.

Mari took the lead. She pointed Javi in the right direction before she grabbed hold of Clem and pushed her into the center of people. Clem kept her head low. She stumbled a lot, acting like she’d been hit or something so as to appear less threatening.

“Wait, one of those little pricks actually escaped?”

“Good job Mari! You should shove her back into her cage and then tell Lily. You’ve really been pulling your weight.”

“Hey, someone has to keep them in line,” Mariana replied as she continued to push Clem forward.

Clem only risked looking up when they passed the majority of people and were finally at one of the cages.

“All of you better be ready for harsh punishments. Doesn’t matter that only one of you tried to escape. You need to learn,” Mari said, her voice taking a harsh turn.

Clem could see the confusion on the other kid’s faces. Some were clearly younger with a few being closer to Clem’s age. They looked to Mari for answers but she just slightly shook her head. In Clem’s ear, she whispered, “I’m going to get AJ. Be ready.”

 Mariana left before the other people could question her. Clem watched closely at first, making sure she hadn’t properly locked the cage. She hadn’t, finally leading Clem to turn to the group.

“Who are you?” The shorter girl asked. She was rough and accusatory but was at least staying quiet. The fact that she and the others seemed to trust Mari would make this easier.

“I’m a friend of Mari’s. I’m here to get all of us out,” Clem softly murmured.

“You like, come from the outside?”

Clem nodded. “I need all of you to wait, just for a few more minutes. It’s going to be dangerous, some of you might not make it, but it’s going to be your best chance ever unless you want to stay here for the rest of your lives. Understood?”

They all looked to each other before finally nodding.

“Who’s best with a knife?”

“Ruby, definitely,” said the guy with dreads.

Clem slipped it from her clothes carefully and turned to the shorter girl he was pointing to. “Then I’m going to need you to lead everyone out of here. I’ll follow from the back.”

“Where are we even supposed to be headed? The moment that door opens, we’ll be surrounded,” replied one of the other girls.

“There’s a van we’re supposed to head to on the north side. It has a broken window. Mariana told me you would know what I was talking about?”

They all hesitated.

“Listen, my name is Clementine. Ok? Right now I have a lot of people relying on me, including my friend Javi who’s sneaking into the main building right now. I need your help to make sure as many people here get out as possible.”

The youngest one walked over and mumbled, “Javi? Like in Javier?”

Clem nodded. “Did Mariana tell you about him? He’s her uncle. He’s here and helping us too.”

That seemed to be a bit of private information that the group could take and use to trust her.

“I’m Louise.”

“Ruby, like he said.”

“Violet. The little guy is Tennessee but we call him Ten’.”

“It’s good to meet you. So will you help?”

“Yes,” Ruby said. “I know the van you’re talking about. But this place may not be big but it is dense. And I don’t know where the key to the van is either.”

“That’s ok. Mariana’s taking care of it. Now when we see the signal, that’s when we book it. Someone will need to carry Ten’ if you have to because we are going to be running for our lives. No way of sugarcoating it,” Clem said.

“But what’s the sig—” Louise stopped just as gunshots started to sound and a window broke, sounding like it had come from the visitor’s center. “Oh. I guess that.”

“No, actually,” Clem said with narrowed eyes. Her heart lurched forward. She wanted to run straight there. She needed to make sure Javi got out of this! But if she left these people behind, Mari would get left behind and she knew Javi wouldn’t forgive her for that. She had to stick to the plan, as much as she could. “We’re leaving, now!”

Clem pushed the cage door open. Most people were descending upon the visitor’s center but that didn’t mean everyone had disappeared from their location. She stabbed the nearest man in his major artery, not bothering to stab him in the head afterwards. If he changed fast enough, that would hopefully add to the chaos. Some of the kids in the other cages near them started to yell. Some to be let out. Some yelling to guard members and proclaiming they were escaping.

Clem ignored them all. There wasn’t time to get more. She took the man’s gun just as he finally passed away. “Get to that van! I’ll cover you!”

She expertly fired at the people headed their way. Walking backward for a second before she turned and ran after the other kids. Ruby did a get job of protecting their front and as they made their way through, Violet was able to pick up a gun too. Louise focused on carrying and shielding Ten’.

Clem spotted the van Mariana had been talking about just as its side door was thrown open. Mariana reached out, desperately telling them to hurry up and get in just as a small head popped up beside her. Mari pushed him back just as quick, shielding him with her arm, but enough time had been given for Clem to process that face and falter.

Those eyes. The nose. Already he looked so much like Alvin and those puffy cheeks… Some of the baby fat had dropped but not completely. It was her AJ. It had to be!

And then pain ripped through her right shoulder. She hit the ground hard with a cry. She felt someone coming up to her, clearly planning to take her out. Clem managed to trip him up though. She pushed herself up and punched the guy hard in the nose with her good arm. The gun she’d been using was out of reach so she grabbed his and shot him in the face, blood shooting back and hitting hers. She wiped at it and tried to push herself up.

However, pain shot through her right shoulder again and she collapsed, just barely hearing someone yelling for her. Maybe Mari?

They’d leave her. Not that Clem could blame them. And knowing her last breath had been drawn to help save Javi’s niece? To help AJ? She’d accept that. But before she could think on that further, she felt a hand grab her arm and pull her up.

Javi dragged her forward and jumped into the van, both hitting the floor hard as one of the kids floored it.

Clem breathed heavily, awkwardly and painfully pushing herself up as she covered the bleeding wound with her hand. She looked at Javi. “You just couldn’t follow the damn plan, huh?”

“Like you’re not one to talk. You were completely planning on sacrificing yourself to let Mari and them escape. Weren’t you?”

“Guilty as charged,” grunted Clem.

Javi shook his head with an incredulous smile before resting his forehead against Clementine’s. She breathed slowly, closing her eyes as she just soaked in the fact that they’d made it another day.

* * *

It had taken all of Javi’s will power to not just collapse upon realizing he’d nearly shot his niece. There would hopefully be time to figure everything out later. For the moment though, he and Clem still had a mission that needed to be finished.

Listening to Mari talk and come up with a better plan than they’d had, it left Javi feeling so proud. But again, there would be time for emotions later. The plan formed and Javi went into the hornet’s nest as Clem and Mari went their separate ways.

At first, it had gone well. The instructions he’d been given had been accurate and soon Javi was looking over maps and written plans. It seemed that the area had been full of more communities except Lily and David had been slowly taking them out. From what he could find, there seemed to be some type of agreement with them, for Lily to make the weak strong and dispose of those that couldn’t complete her training.

To think David had done that to his own children…

But then someone had come in and Javi had to fire his gun before he got shot first. Things fell into a fire fight and Javi was grabbing what he could and was running. He crashed through another window, he was sure he’d be hearing about that from Negan, as people ran to the door. Javi went around and saw Clem on the ground. He grabbed her and threw them both into the van.

They’d both made it out. They’d saved a couple of kids. And now…

The van’s backseats had been previously taken out, allowing all of them plenty of room. Louise was driving with Tennessee in the passenger’s seat. Violet had just finished helping Javi get some of the pieces of glass out and was now checking on AJ. From the way Clem was looking at the kid, it was obvious that the kid was the one she’d been looking for. She didn’t say anything though, to wrapped up in getting her bullet wound treated by Ruby. It now left Javi a moment to finally speak with Mariana. He almost wanted to have the conversation in a more private setting but he needed to know now…

“About Gabe—”

“He was the big brother until the end,” Mari immediately said. “I wouldn’t have made it without him.”

Javi silently nodded. It felt weird, mourning someone twice. He wiped at his face for a second and took a deep breath. He was never going to see Gabe again. The thought didn’t hurt as much, considering he’d thought those same words for so many years now.

“I never should have left you.”

“You didn’t have any choice,” Mariana murmured. She took her own shuttering breath but she didn’t cry either. Her innocent, optimistic outlook was gone. She’d gone from a kid to a survivor. “You mentioned dad. So you found the New Frontier? What about…what about Kate?”

“Had to leave her behind. But she told me some of what happened to you before we had to leave.” Javi explained a bit more before asking, “David really sold you to Lily?”

“It…it didn’t seem like that at first,” admitted Mariana. “He’d said it would be like a summer camp. That Gabe and I would learn so much and that when we got back, he’d be so proud of us. But it was a prison and…and I wanted to believe he didn’t know but…but eventually I realized I was just fooling myself. He’d been losing it. Kate had seen it but Gabe and I had been in denial until it was too late.

“You know, I cried a lot at first. When we were sent away. At one point I thought…I thought Lily was going to kill me because I was too weak. But after Gabe died I realized I couldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain. I had to keep going, to get stronger. So I…I passed her tests and I got better with a gun and I learned the rules and through it all I was just trying to figure out how I could get away. Me and AJ.”

“So you were there from the start?” Clem suddenly asked.

AJ shook his head. “I don’t remember much. But from what people told me I was actually moved from the New Frontier to this ranch while I was getting better from being sick or something. Then Lily and David took over that place and I got moved here. Mari looked out for me though.”

One look at Clem and Javi knew she wanted to say more. However, she seemed to decide there was enough going on right now and she stayed quiet for the moment.

“I could have just run with AJ,” Mariana admitted, “but then what? I didn’t know what where we’d go and I still didn’t have enough weapons or materials stored up. Even if we had ran, we wouldn’t have made it long.”

“And then we showed up,” Louise piped up. “By the way man, you still want me to continue on this road?”

“Yeah, for at least another hour,” Javi replied.

“So what’s your story?” asked Clem.

Louise, Violet, and Ruby all took turns with Ten’ staying silent through it all. Javi heard about their little school and their former leader Marlon. Things had gone well, at least until they’d realized Marlon had given away some of their people to Lily’s. He’d said he’d done it to keep them safe but it seemed it hadn’t been enough in the end. Eventually Lily had come back to just take them all (maybe to prepare for the assault on the Sanctuary?) and now what Javi and Clem saw was what was left of their group.

“So you don’t have anywhere to go?” asked Javi.

“No. They burned our home to the ground,” Violet replied.

“You could come with us,” Clem offered. “Though I can’t exactly say it’s safe right now.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ruby.

“Yeah, what is your guys’ story and how the hell did you get to Lily’s place?” asked Louise. “You said something about your community being south of here?”

Javi and Clem nodded. They took turns telling their story, talking about Negan and the communities underneath them and how they’d come to find the Sanctuary in the first place. In the middle of the conversation, Mariana actually stopped them and murmured, “Wait. Is that my cassette player?”

Just like every day since he’d first given it to her, Clem still had it strapped to her belt. Clem looked away for a bit, almost embarrassed. “It…yeah but—”

“You gave it to her?” asked Mariana.

“I did. I didn’t know…” Javi stopped himself. Instead trying to make some excuse, he changed his tactic. “I’ve carried it since I tried to find you. Until Clem’s birthday and I…I realized it was the only thing of value that I could pass on to her. I wanted to know that if something happened to me, that someone else could carry on your memory. You know, when I obviously didn’t know you were alive.”

“You can have it back,” Clementine softly said, already starting to unclip it.

However, Mariana quickly shook her head. “No, no keep it! Uncle Javi gave it to you. And besides, I know I can trust you then. It…it makes you part of the family,” she smiled.

“Thanks. That means a lot,” Clem honestly answered.

From there, Javi and Clem finally finished the story, with Clem saying the last line. “And now David could destroy all that. For all we know, the fighting could have broken out already.”

“Well I’m going with you. Obviously,” Mariana said. “And AJ’s coming with me.”

Clem breathed easier at that.

“Besides, dad’s behind this which makes me at least a little responsible. I couldn’t leave without trying,” Mariana finished.

“You’re not responsible for David’s actions,” murmured Javi. “Don’t ever think that. But know that I am no less proud of you for saying that.”

She hugged him as Clem asked, “What about the rest of you?”

“I want to get back at them. At all of them,” growled Violet. “For everything they took from us. For everyone they killed and all they destroyed.”

“You guys sound like you could use some extra hands,” Louise added.

“I’d say it’s not safe bringing a kid into a warzone,” muttered Ruby as she looked to Ten’, “but the whole damn world is like this now. Might as well try to stop Lily and David if we can.”

“Thank you,” Javi and Clem said.

“So how much longer until we get there?” asked Violet.

“At least another two days. Maybe longer. We want to try and avoid the New Frontier if possible,” said Javi. “Now that I know what David and Lily had planned, I think it’s possible we could meet a road block before we even make it back. If we’re not careful.”

“Well we can take turns driving. Through the night if we have to,” Clem said. “That should help.”

She winced as Ruby finally finished up with the bullet wound.

“That’s the best I can do for now.”

“It’s ok. Thanks.”

“No problem. Now Javier, let me get a look at your wounds. You look like you ran straight into some barbed wire.”

Javi snorted. “Something like that.”

They all scooted around the floor of the van as Louise kept driving. As Javi winced at the poking and prodding as Ruby improved on Violet’s work, there was honestly a lot to think and worry about. David and Lily were coming for them. Rick’s group was probably going to use the distraction to their advantage and make their own plans, and then Janis and her group were still a god damn wild card and could easily choose any or no sides. The chances of the Sanctuary standing at the end of this were slim but Javi at least knew two things now.

He’d defend it for as long as he could but should it fall, he had far more than just Clem to keep him going now.


	10. Last Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to everyone who has read this! Technically, I was thinking of ending the story somewhere about here but I wanted to do a little epilogue that gives you an idea of what happens afterwards and where all the characters are headed now. I'm not sure when I'll get the final chapter out. In my head it's going to be relatively long but who knows.
> 
> Either way, thank you for reading and the kudos and comments! Hope you enjoy!

From the moment they drove into the Sanctuary’s territories, things got heated. A small road block had been built by David’s people and though Javi would have loved to have a skirmish with them and show them what he thought of their whole community, he really needed to give Negan the information on Lily.

They took out a few people and then drove through the still uncompleted blockade. Honestly, it was more difficult making sure no one was following them rather than just driving through.

Over the course of the journey back, Javi had gotten to know all the kids pretty well. To be fair, most of them were closer to Clem’s age but Javi was still leaning more towards calling them kids. It was clear, except for Mariana, that they’d had a pretty good life before being put in Lily’s care, even AJ apparently. There’d been hardships. That was the world in a nutshell. But they hadn’t been through things quite like Javi or Clementine or Mariana. To be perfectly honest, the short lived stay with Lily already seemed to have toughened the others up though. Javi didn’t exactly approve of the methods but the results were clear.

The kids were fighters and understood that the world, at its core, was about survival now. So, they willing came with Javi and Clem because they clearly didn’t have the resources to go out on their own yet.

As for Clem and AJ, it had been clear from the get go how much she’d wanted to talk to him. She’d even touched his elbow, only to get punched hard in the ribs as AJ scurried over to Mariana.

“He doesn’t like people coming up behind him,” Mari had quickly explained.

Still wincing Clem had shook her head. “No. I get it. It’s smart. Just um…yeah….”

Hopefully there would be a time for Clem to talk to AJ. Properly. But now simply wasn’t it. The moment they got to the Sanctuary, Javi went straight to Negan and Clem quickly ordered the other kids off into rolls. Thanks to Mari’s trust in Clementine and the fact that Javi and her had been pretty upfront with everyone, they followed along. Granted, Javi wouldn’t have been surprised if the reason to do so was just because they didn’t have to stay in those cages like some rabid animal. Javi decided he’d make sure they had at least one warm meal to eat before shit hit the fan.

But before Javi could focus on them, he was being escorted straight to Negan. There was no time for chitchat, except for Negan’s pointed stare at his now _very_ scarred face. Nevertheless, it was straight to business. It seemed that in the few days they’d been gone, Rick’s team had taken the new threat as an opportunity. The last group of Sanctuary people had been promptly kicked to the curb with all of Alexandria rallying together. Negan suspected they’d been doing some extra training behind their backs as well.

In any other situation, they could have easily taken them but for the moment, David and Lily were far more pressing. They still had Hilltop and the Kingdom under their thumb, but with Hilltop being so far to the north, it was expected the New Frontier would strike their first. Janis did have their back for now but even with David and Lily descending on them, their group was no less a wild card.

At the very least, Javi could give Negan numbers on Lily’s people. From what he’d seen, their first assault relied heavily on vehicles. That was good because even though they’d undoubtedly change some of their paths, they’d be stuck to use the roads. Changing to a full ground assault would take too long, be too risky, and way too last minute.

Negan used the information and quickly changed some of the plans. He wanted Javi to actually lead a group to the east. It surprised Javi at first. On the one hand, they had lost Aman before all this and Negan had been without a new lieutenant for a while. However, more importantly, Negan just rolled his eyes and said, “Do you really think I don’t trust you by this point?”

Javi smiled. It was really the only moment of respite they were going to have that day. Possibly for the next few weeks if not longer. It made Javi let out a tired sigh but the community came first for now.

With his orders memorized, Javi went to find Clementine and the others. They were in the mess hall though AJ and Ten’ were nowhere to be found. At Javi’s questioning glance, Mari said, “They left with a man called…Christopher?”

Clem nodded, referring to the gardener. “Food is going to be a big priority but with everyone else getting up in arms, it made since to have the youngest helping him.”

Javi nodded in agreement. “I’m heading out with a small team in a few minutes. Mari, you’re coming with me. Ruby, you’re to go with Dr. Carson and Molly. Start prepping and taking stock on medical supplies. Louise and Violet, you’re to join Clementine.”

“We headed to meet Arat?” asked Clem.

Javi nodded.

“Thought so. They’re talking about gathering the brunt of forces with her near Hilltop. I was actually just filling them in on it. Just in case.”

“Good. Then you should finish eating up and be ready to go. Anyone have any concerns?”

They all quickly shook their heads.

“Alright, Clem will get you two prepped. Ruby, I’ll show you to Dr. Carson and you can follow along too Mari.”

She nodded in agreement.

With that set, Javi waited by them. It only took about two more minutes, the kids rushing to put the dishes up. Clem gestured to Violet and Louise to follow her as Javi gestured for the others to follow him. Unsurprisingly, Carson was busy so Javi introduced Ruby to Molly instead before leaving with Mari. It was the first proper moment he was alone with his niece, but it was short lived.

Already they were meeting up with the people now assigned under Javi. He introduced his niece to Three and the others, most showing shock at the fact that he’d found her. Some of the men immediately pointed out the missing eye and Javi tensed. He could remember when Mari was so small. A little cut would have been enough to make her cry and she’d been so focused on the material things at the time. How her hair looked. Her clothes. Obviously that had changed a lot after the end of the world. Yet Javi still tensed. He still half expected her to burst into tears as her most obvious and horrid scarring was pointed out in front of everyone. She was only fourteen!

Yet Mari just smiled and punched one of the guys hard in the side.

“Hey!”

“Oh, sorry, my depth perception is a bit off now. Did I hit you?”

The men laughed, one slapping Javi on the back. “Well she definitely has your whit. Jesus!”

Mari’s smirk stayed firmly in place and Javi sighed in relief.

They packed up and hit the road again, Mari shaking her head from the passenger’s side. She’d slipped in before Three could and he hadn’t questioned it.

“It’s been so long since I’ve properly been a car. Excluding the last few days, obviously.”

“Really?” asked Javi.

“I was technically still on probation. Even with my good behavior, Lily liked to keep me on a short leash. The last time was…when dad sent us away. The moment we left the city bags were placed over our heads.”

The guys in the back quieted a bit and Javi cast a sorrowful glance downwards. They’d heard of Gabe at least once or twice. They’d clearly assumed the worst since only Mari had shown up.

“We can talk about it more. If you want,” Mariana quickly said.

Javi glanced over. “You actually mean that.”

“Well yeah. I don’t want to bring up the past if you don’t want to hear it but—”

“I was worried you wouldn’t want to talk about it.”

“I shot a ten year old in the face.”

Javi almost swerved off the road.

“Part of Lily’s tests. He was more trouble than he was worth and I…I decided that if I was going to survive, I’d have to do a lot of things I was once uncomfortable with. But this is the world now. I’m more surprised that you’re just…accepting it.”

“I’ve done a few things I once wasn’t proud of either,” Javi softly admitted. “But you’re right. It is the way of the world. Though I’m still sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I think that’s the difference between you and dad,” whispered Mari. “He never would have said that. Just good job.”

“David—” Javi stopped himself from saying anything too inappropriate in front of her. It may have been the end of the world and maybe everyone had blood on their hands by this point, but there were still standards to be upheld. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. “He’s going to pay for what he did to you and Gabe. And I’m never leaving you again Mariana. Not once.”

“Same goes for you. I’m not leaving you,” Mari replied.

Javi’s lips quirked up.

They didn’t speak again for a bit. Javi kept his eyes focused on the road as Clem watched the new, yet probably pretty similar scenery pass her by. All woods looked pretty similar after all. When the guys in the back had gotten well and involved in their own conversation though, no longer listening in on theirs, Mari turned back over and asked, “So I know Clem told us that she had worked with the New Frontier before meeting you. I’m guessing she knew AJ. Right?”

“So you picked up on that. Huh?”

“She treats him special. Even if AJ is kind of wary of her. She doesn’t treat Ten’ the same and they’re basically the same age. Is she his mom?”

The conversations in the back immediately silenced, ears straining their way. Javi rolled his eyes and pointedly looked in the rearview mirror at them. “Really? Guys?”

Three shrugged and Javi just rolled his eyes again. He focused back on the road. “No. Clem isn’t his mom but she might as well be. She knew his parents and knew him from day one.”

“Then she has to tell him!” Mari excitedly said. “It’s the one thing I could never give to him. He would love to hear about them.”

“I’m sure. But she’s just taking her time. Ok? She doesn’t want to push him away.”

“I get that. I’m glad AJ has her though. I…I tried to raise him as best I could but I just felt like an under paid babysitter,” sighed Mariana as Javi laughed hard. “Clem seems much more capable.”

“Well don’t sell yourself too short. I heard from Ruby that he’s a hell of a shot.”

“I will admit I had something to do with that,” Mari grinned. She suddenly leaned forward, finally seeing one of their outposts. “That it?”

Javi nodded. “We’re going to be out here for a few days. We’ll get everyone on their new routines, get the defenses up, and then onto the next outpost down here.”

“And then back to the Sanctuary?”

“Ideally,” Javi replied. “But if something happens we may have to stay. Just depends.”

“War isn’t a chessboard anymore,” sighed Mari.

Javi cocked his eyebrow.

“Something Lily would say. I think I remember learning about that analogy in school or something. War just isn’t structured like that anymore. No honor or rules that are being mutually followed. Not when survival is so important.”

“Yeah. It’s good you understand that though.” Javi pulled up into the outpost and as the people behind them started to get out, Javi leaned over and whispered one last thing to Mariana. “And with how unexpected war can be, there’s somewhere I want you to go to if we ever get split up.”

“But shouldn’t I go back to the Sanctuary first?”

“Yes, always. But if you think even there isn’t safe, if everything does come crashing down because I know you know that even with a place as strong as the Sanctuary, that is possible, even if all that happens I need to know that we can find each other again. So there is another place I want you to go if the Sanctuary isn’t a viable option. I’ll get it written down for you, show it to you on a map sometime, but this is where.”

Javi told her of the place him and Clementine had promised to meet and after Mari could easily repeat the information back to him, Javi finally breathed a sigh of relief. He would stay as long as possible with the Saviors but just like with Clem, he’d try to hold onto his niece now even through the possible destruction.

* * *

Clementine led several groups near Hilltop. It was where David’s first round of assaults occurred. Any attempts at talking things out failed, largely because any time either group tried, it was really just a front to get a clear shot.

It meant bullets flew constantly around the community and Clem got very little sleep for the next week. In the middle of war, she got to know Violet and Louise pretty well. They were capable and Clem quickly found herself relying on them to have her back.

When David’s and Lily’s forces were pushed out of the area, it was only a temporary success. The Saviors took advantage of it though, quickly changing out people and getting supplies shipped in. Clem finally got back to the Sanctuary, getting a chance to hear more about the fighting elsewhere.

It seemed Javi had set up some successful defenses to the east along with taking out a few of Alexandria’s people who’d attempted to take one of their outposts. Simon had been having mild success but Arat had suddenly found herself being turned against as Janis had decided her own people’s interest no longer aligned with the Saviors. Things weren’t going great but it still wasn’t clear if they were winning or losing.

Clem had one day of rest before she was going to be shipped off to help Arat get her people out of the firefight with Janis. She sadly didn’t get a chance to see Javi as he was still supporting the east’s defenses at that time. However, Clem was able to check in on Katy who was helping Carson, Molly, and Ruby with the med supplies. She said a quick hi to Fat Joey as well who was working harder than he probably ever had, making sure everything got moved to where it was most needed. Then lastly she went to see Christopher before dinner.

Christopher had been holding onto Ten’ and AJ still and Clem found them all working in the garden.

“Everything going ok?” asked Clem.

“We’ve still got a steady supply of food coming. But it’s not enough to support all of us. If we don’t break that new blockade to the Kingdom soon, we could be in trouble,” Christopher said.

Clementine nodded in understanding. She looked to Tennessee who gave her a small, shy wave. She returned it before looking to AJ. “I was wondering if I could borrow AJ though? Just for a moment.”

“Of course. That is, if you want to go with Clementine,” Christopher said, looking to the kid.

“Why?” AJ asked suspiciously.

It was hard not to laugh at the expression on his face. “You’re not in trouble. Trust me. There’s just something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

“Well it can be said in front of my friend then.”

“Ok…if you really want to. But it is a bit private.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about your parents.”

AJ’s eyes went wide. He immediately looked to Ten’ who gestured for him to go. Clearly this was important and his friend didn’t mind.

“You’re not messing with me. Are you?” AJ cautiously said.

“No. Believe me. I know stuff like this isn’t something you should joke about.”

AJ slowly nodded in agreement. He looked to Christopher one last time, and after getting a nod of approval, he finally followed Clem off to the side. She would have liked to talk about this with him in another setting. She would have liked to feel like she could take her time. However, on the chance something happened to her or him, she wanted to make sure she at least got the important parts of the story out of the way.

“When I talked about knowing the New Frontier, about David, I didn’t tell the whole story,” Clem started.

“So you lied.”

“I’m telling the truth now,” stressed Clem. “It just wasn’t the right time back then.”

“So if you knew them…were my parents part of the New Frontier or something?” AJ hesitantly asked.

“No! Nothing like that.” Clem sat down and gestured for AJ to join her. It took a little more encouraging but he eventually did. “I knew them before I came into contact with the New Frontier. I joined their group and when…when they weren’t able to take care of you, I did.”

“What were their names?”

“Alvin and Rebecca.”

“Wait…so is my name…”

Clementine hadn’t thought about that but considering she’d always called him goofball or AJ, there was no way David or anyone else could have known his full name. It hurt, realizing AJ hadn’t even known his real name, yet it made the moment just a little more special as it came down to Clem to tell him. “Yes, you were named after your dad. Alvin Junior.”

AJ blinked in surprise. “What…what else can you tell me about them?”

Clem slowly started to talk. She talked about first meeting the group, about getting trapped in their shed because they hadn’t known if her wound had been a walker bite or not. She talked about the good and the bad. She felt like it was important for AJ to hear all of it. She still wished she had more time to better explain it to him, but it felt good finally being able to tell him the full truth, at least up until David had taken him away.

“I’m so sorry AJ,” whispered Clem. “I never should have left you.”

“It sounds like you didn’t really have a choice.”

“Still, I should have done…something.”

“Well you’re here now,” AJ said, perking up at that. “You rescued Mariana and me and our friends when you really didn’t have to.”

“Trust me AJ, I had to.”

AJ gave a small smile at that. “Thanks Clementine. If…if we get more time at some point. Or something. Could you tell me more? About them?”

“I’d love to AJ.”

At that moment, she wanted to hug him so badly. But she stayed back, being respectful of his space. Even after telling him all that, she was still more of a stranger to him than he was to her and she was still afraid of pushing him away. Instead, Clem just settled on a small wave as AJ hopped up and started to go back to Ten’ and Christopher. The fact that he smiled again and waved back made Clem’s heart sore.

A weight had lifted off her. No matter what, at the very least she’d had the chance to tell AJ the truth.

She went to the mess hall then. She planned to just grab some food and head to bed but upon seeing Katy sitting down, Clem decided to join her again.

“You talk to AJ yet?”

“Just came back from that.”

“I’m assuming it went well since you don’t look pissed enough to kill the next person who talks to you.”

Clem snorted. “Yeah it went…it went better than I expected. He still doesn’t really…think of me as family. Which is understandable. He doesn’t remember our time together. But I’m glad he was just willing to listen to me.”

“He’s a good kid. A hard working kid. Same with Tennessee. They’ve both been helping Christopher day and night. And AJ even went on patrol for a bit.”

“What?” Clem tensed.

“Just behind the gate. I was with him the entire time so don’t worry. And he’s a damn good shot too.”

Clem smiled, even if it was tinged in sadness. “I would have liked to teach him that. But it’s good to know Mariana watched out for him.”

“Yeah, speaking of her, she is ruthless,” Katy commented. “Saw her and Javi a few days ago when I was getting medical supplies to the east. She’s pretty damn impressive for a fourteen year old. Honestly reminds me of you when you first got here.”

“She is about the same age I was then,” Clem mused. “God, that feels like decades ago.”

Katy nodded in agreement. “I honestly didn’t expect to make it this long. Figured I’d get unlucky and the cancer would come back sooner rather than later.”

“I guess Carson just did a really good job on the surgery. Or got really lucky himself.”

Katy snorted. They silently ate for a few minutes before Katy looked up and added, “I’m glad you’re here though Clem. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m going with you tomorrow. To help defend Arat’s position and get her people out of there.”

“Does Arat know?”

“What do you think?”

Clem sighed with a pointed glare. “I really don’t need you getting me in trouble with her.”

“I’ll take any blame.”

“Are you sure—”

“I’m fine. And I’m personally dying or boredom right now helping Dr. Carson.”

“Hey! He’s doing some pretty important work.”

“That doesn’t make it any less boring. Besides, I’m worried about her.”

Clem’s eyebrows shot up. It seemed to be the first time Katy was actually confiding in her, at least with personal information. “Is something off?”

“Not that I know of. I just think having me there will help prevent her from doing anything sacrificial. I can see her trying to be the last man standing in order to get everyone else out.”

Clem nodded in understanding.

“So are you going to raise hell or let me come along?”

“You can come along. I won’t try and stop you. Besides, I know you’re resourceful enough to find a different way anyways.”

“Very true.”

Clem chuckled. They finished up their dinner and parted ways for the moment. Clem headed back to her team’s room, not that it really mattered at the moment. With everyone being moved all over the place and so rapidly, most people were just sleeping wherever there was space. For example, Clem’s usual bed was taken but she just took a different one in the same room, quickly falling asleep. There was a good chance it would be the only good night’s sleep she’d get in a while.

The night seemed to pass with a snap of her fingers but at least Clem felt rested in the morning. She didn’t get a chance to see AJ before she left, making her even more thankful she’d squeezed it in last night.

Drive.

Fight.

Kill.

Leave.

Refresh.

Repeat.

Again and again Clem went. Days continued to lengthen. Weeks passed and made months. All the while Clem only saw Javi three separate times. She only saw Negan privately once. She got to work with Mariana on one job. Getting to see her in action only made Clem respect her more and by that point, any bit of jealousy of her relationship with AJ had dissipated.

But who was winning?

That was the important question but no one seemed to know. Negan of course continued to rally everyone. He kept the spirits high but that one meeting with him had proven that he knew they weren’t any more ahead of the game than any other group. It was impossible to say.

But then Clem got radioed that they’d finally zeroed in on David’s location. The man hadn’t been seen before then, commanding his troops from the shadows, but if they finally had a chance to take him out? Just maybe this would all be over.

When Clem found out the location, she took a small group and started to drive across the area. She hoped they would manage to take him down. It could change everything, but Clem couldn’t help but hope she made it in time to watch the life drain from his eyes before the end.

* * *

Javi was starting to get tired. They weren’t losing. At least it didn’t feel like that, but there seemed to be very little advancement in their movements. People seemed to be getting shot left and right all the time but there honestly hadn’t been too many casualties. Just so many wounded.

Was this just going to be a never ending stalemate? Would their forces just dwindle and dwindle at such a slow rate that they wouldn’t realize how few were left until years later?

He just didn’t know. That said, he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. His brother was still out there and at the very least he couldn’t abandon the fight because of that.

So Javi kept going, day in and day out. He kept an eye on Mariana as much as he could but he’d slowly begun to realize that he really didn’t need to. For the most part, her childhood was gone and Javi had finally come to accept it.

He’d talked about it with Clem on one of the few occasions they’d gotten a chance.

“You never worried about me,” Clem had commented.

“I think I’m just being hypocritical. Because she’s my niece. I can still remember when she was yay-big and saying she wanted to be a princess,” sighed Javi.

“Can you imagine me like that?”

“Not even a little bit. What about me?”

Clem laughed. “I don’t know. I think I can see you as a little bright eyed kid, holding a baseball bat for the first time.”

Javi snorted. “You’re lucky we didn’t meet at the same age. You would have walked all over me and just have left me behind.”

“I wouldn’t have left you behind,” Clem defended. “I would have just dragged you along like my favorite stuffed animal.”

“Thanks for that,” Javi had laughed.

That talk had helped Javi come to terms with Mari’s quick move into adulthood. It had also helped him to trust her more when they were on the battlefield. As awful as it was, David had ironically succeeded. She was a good soldier and she knew what she was doing.

And so time continued to pass and progress still failed to be made. At least until a massive strike came upon the northern most outpost. Javi was there when it happened. The bomb had come first and then so many people and _muertos_ began to descend upon them. Orders flew left and right. Though carefully planned, Javi could tell this assault was different than the other ones. Had they been building up to this? Had the smaller skirmishes, the roadblocks, just been there to distract them from this? It felt like they were trying to ram straight through the outpost and directly to the Sanctuary.

He was just happy Mari wasn’t here for this. Already more people than usual were dropping. It definitely was a battering ram. They’d saved the tools, the gear, just for this moment.

Some people were trying to contact other nearby groups to get reinforcements sent their way, but Javi was too much in the middle of it. He fired at every unfamiliar face. He protected those near him, stayed under cover. If they held out long enough to get reinforcements here, just maybe they’d stop this battering ram and some real progress would be made.

_Bang!_

Another person down. And the next face—

Javi’s eyes widened. His thoughts on this being an attempt at the beginning of the end were basically confirmed now. David had finally shown his face and Javi didn’t doubt it was so he could gun it for the crown.

He needed to stay where he was. They had good cover but as Javi watched David yell orders in the distance, all he could see was Mari’s missing eye. All he saw was Gabe’s dead body. He had to pay!

Javi’s mind worked quickly. He ordered those near him into new positions before quickly rushing across the broken battlefield. Another bomb went off. Even if they did succeed in stopping David here, the outpost was basically gone now.

Thankfully the Saviors still held their ground though, even as their friends and family fell around them. They just needed a little more time!

Javi fired and took out someone by David but his brother was out of the way before he could fire on him too. He needed to get closer!

In order to do that, the move Javi was about to do was going to be stupid. But in that moment, he was desperate. He crossed an open space again, this time not being so lucky. He felt a bullet go through his shoulder but he didn’t stop. It had cleanly gone through. If something was broken, Javi couldn’t tell. The adrenaline running through his veins was keeping the pain at bay for now.

What was important was that he was closer. Javi peaked out from the cover. He saw his brother again and this time he shouted, knowing he would be heard. “David!”

No matter how ordered and militaristic David was, Javi was now counting on that unexpected and sometimes uncontrollable anger he could get. It seemed the bet paid off because David immediately recognized his voice. He started to head his way, even with some of his men clearly protesting and trying to focus on where the majority of the Saviors were.

“I don’t think I see you! You scared little brother!?”

“Not anymore!” Javi just needed him a little closer now. He needed to have patience here. He had already rushed too much, risked his life too many times in just the past few minutes. He just needed to breathe now. In…out…his brother was so close.

Javi pulled his gun. David knocked it down but Javi managed to respond in time, keeping himself from getting shot again. He kicked David to the ground, his brother actually looking shocked before he threw dirt in Javi’s eyes.

With his sight somewhat affected, Javi pulled out his knife and tried to keep David on the ground. However, his brother caught his arm and easily kept him at bay.

“What?” grinned David. “No questions about Kate?”

“I’m assuming you just as well had her killed,” Javi growled out.

David kicked him hard, causing Javi’s arms to slacken just a bit. David managed to push Javi off. He pulled out another gun. The shot missed but it also left Javi’s left ear ringing in pain. He tried to keep balance as best he could as he punched David in the face.

“You took everything from me!”

Javi felt himself getting shoved back against the dirt. He shouted back, “You destroyed it! Not me!”

The struggle continued, both trying to get an upper hand. Javi managed to get in a few more punches. He grabbed his knife and sliced open David’s face, but he missed anything major and the wounds definitely weren’t going to kill him.

Then David managed to get him in the gut. Javi could feel his breath leave him and as he struggled to breathe in, David took advantage. He forced Javi to the ground again, his hands wrapping around his little brother’s throat.

“You took my family from me!”

David’s blood dripped onto Javi’s face and into his open mouth as he tried to gulp in. He kicked at David, managing a small amount of reprieve. He just barely managed to breathe, but then David was back, grip even tighter than before.

“You had Kate so wrapped around your finger that I knew from the moment she showed up she was lost!”

Javi tried to grab at David’s arms, his hands. He tried to force his brother off of him but his movements were no longer controlled. His body was going into full, flailing panic mode as his lungs burned.

“I tried with Kate though! I fucking tried but then you came back and you ruined it all again!”

The words were starting to become fuzzy, almost distant. Spots started to appear in Javi’s vision.

“You took everything from me! So you know what? I’m going to take everything from you! I’ll string your men up in rows! I’ll find Negan, and I’ll feed his guts to you! I will turn everything you have to dust!”

Javi’s legs shook uncontrollably underneath David. The death rattle. His vision was so warped he couldn’t see his brother’s face anymore. He couldn’t hear his threats as all sounds got drowned out by his own thundering heartbeat.

He’d thought he’d be able to take David on. He’d thought he could end this.

He was going to die instead.

But then his near black vision started to clear and the pressure on his chest and throat was gone. He could still only hear his own blood pounding through his veins. His lungs tried to expand. The motion was painful but they did move and the next breath Javi took was bigger than the last. He looked to his left. David’s face stared back. Blood dripped from the bullet hole along with the cut Javi had slashed across his face. Somehow even in death David still looked full of rage. Javi continued the painful breathing, coughing in between each gasp as he rolled to the right and onto his stomach. He only managed to prop himself up on his elbows. His entire body shook as he looked back and saw Clementine, mouth wide in shock.

And then his eyes moved to who stood next to her, who held the gun. Mariana stared back with her one good eye. Her hands didn’t shake as she dropped the gun and rushed to Javi’s side. The contact had his arms suddenly collapsing beneath him and he could feel Mariana prop his head up in her lap.

Javi closed his eyes for a moment. Now the breathing was getting a little easier and the shaking in his limbs finally seemed to calm down. He opened his eyes again as he felt Mari wipe her father’s blood from his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Uncle Javi. I’m so sorry.”

Javi didn’t trust himself to speak, his throat still aflame with pain. He just slightly shook his head, confusion clear in his eyes.

“I-I hesitated. I shouldn’t have. You could have-if I had waited too long.” Mari stopped herself and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I won’t ever hesitate like that again.”

With his breathing having returned to normal, Javi carefully swallowed and choked out, “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Mariana nodded as Clem finally fell beside him. “You stupid idiot!”

“Guilty as charged,” croaked Javi.

Clem just shook her head and then grabbed Javi. Mariana helped to pull him up. His legs started to shake but they managed to keep supporting him.

“The fighting…”

“Two different teams made it in time. You held out long enough,” Clem supplied.

“We got a lot of them. I managed to kill a few too before they scurried off and before I found you,” Mari said. “But there was no sign of Lily.”

Javi nodded. With each step, he got a little stronger. David was gone, Kate probably too. With Lily still out there, the war likely wasn’t over but things were looking on the up.

* * *

Things were not looking on the up.

Clem had thought they were finally winning. With David gone, his and Lily’s forces had become split. It made them much easier targets and Clem had thought for sure they’d be able to crush them out and then focus on Alexandria and Janis.

But then Simon happened.

The change happened at Hilltop. It made sense. Simon was most familiar with the area, the people. Him and Dwight had managed to convince part of Gregory’s people to put their allegiance with them and then the fighting surged forward again.

Clem had been at Hilltop when the takeover happened. It seemed that had been the plan, to try and mix some of Negan’s more trusted men with Simon’s and then take them out. Clem had been helping to rebuild some of the damage done by Lily and David. She even had AJ and Christopher and Katy with her. They hadn’t been prepared for the bloodbath that happened.

It was only because Clem was on the edge of the community, helping Christopher clear out the gardening area, that she stood a chance. It was easy to tell who had changed sides. The guns were drawn and Clem watched the split off Saviors murder the others. Some of Hilltop’s people were split off too. Clem could guess that the Hilltop people being killed hadn’t known or hadn’t agreed on the plan to try and backstab Negan. Now they were out of the way too.

Only one of Simon’s men was close to Clem so she shot him before he could fire first. Then she practically threw AJ into the back of the covered truck. Katy helped Christopher into the vehicle too. At the same time, Clem only managed to save one other person, Violet, before she jumped in and tore out of the community. One glance back showed Clem that they weren’t being followed. At least for the moment. She checked her side for her walkie-talkie but it wasn’t there and she knew for a fact that the people with her hadn’t been given one.

“Shit Clementine! What are we going to do?!” cried Violet. She turned around and opened the little window into the back of the truck so she could talk to the others.

“I knew I never liked Simon. Rat bastard is going to tear the Sanctuary apart,” Christopher growled.

“Is it even safe?” asked AJ.

Violet looked back at him. “What do you mean?”

“If Simon is taking control, are some of his men trying to take control of the Sanctuary now?”

“Jesus,” murmured Christopher. “It’ll be a blood bath.”

“But that’s only if,” Violet said.

“But we still don’t know.”

“So what do we do?”

“Where do we go?”

“Clem?”

“Clementine what—”

“Shut up, and let me think!” she shouted. Finally everyone quieted and Clem focused back on the road.

Her grip on the steering wheel was almost painful as she tried to think of all the variables. On the one hand, Negan needed the heads up but Clem had no way to communicate with them. She could just drive there but they could have been going straight into a trap. Then she couldn’t help but think if Javi had been captured, but going by what had happened at Hilltop, it was more likely they had all been shot.

If it had just been her, Clem would have risked it. But one look in the rearview mirror showed that she wasn’t. She looked at each of their faces. Christopher was too old. Katy was at risk of the cancer returning. AJ was far too young.

Simon would kill them all without hesitation. He’d never quite had Negan’s mindset that anyone could be valuable. He’d always been far more supportive of those who could physically pull their weight and nothing else. Only Violet and Clem probably wouldn’t have been killed, but then Simon had never fully trusted Clem and Violet was still relatively new.

No, if one of Simon’s people spotted them, they’d be shot on sight.

She couldn’t risk AJ’s life, any of their lives, no matter how much she desperately wanted to know that Javi was alright, that the rest of the men and women who had become her friends were ok, that even Negan was alright. But she couldn’t.

“Javi and I made a plan,” Clem sighed.

“What kind of plan?” asked Katy. A quick glance back showed her, Christopher, and AJ were all crowded around the small window. Violet listened intensely.

“If things went south, if we looked to be not just losing but that everything was crashing down around us, we’d meet up at this one place. We’ll go there first.”

“And if he doesn’t show up?” asked Violet.

“Then we’ll leave for somewhere else,” whispered Clementine.

No one argued with her, but then that was likely because she had just made it clear that this wasn’t easy for her either. Violet and AJ were leaving their friends behind. Clem knew Christopher had people back there and Katy was leaving Arat. But despite how much they all probably wanted to go back to their people, they knew Clem was right.

“Where will we go?” AJ murmured.

“We can figure that out when we get to the safe house. When Javi…even if Javi doesn’t make it, we can use the time to plan an escape route, try and forage the surrounding area for any quick supplies, things like that,” Clementine replied. “Any arguments with that?”

They shook their heads, murmured no.

Clem’s heart hurt as she said, “Then that’s the plan.”

The rest of the drive to the small town was in silence. The place was relatively far away from any of the communities but it was still very much in the area. They wouldn’t be able to stay long, not if they didn’t want to risk one of the groups finding them.

Clem carefully drove the truck through the yard. She didn’t want to leave the ground noticeably turned up as she pulled the truck behind the home that she and Negan had been trapped in for a few days. At least this way they wouldn’t be visible from the road.

As Clem got out, she looked in the direction of the Sanctuary. No telltale signs showed what was happening there like smoke on the horizon or anything like that. Clem had no idea what was going on as she murmured, “Find your way back Javi. I know you can.”

* * *

Several days had passed since everything had gone tits up. If only Simon’s greedy fucking ass had stayed where it had belonged, they probably would have won. They would have made it. But as Simon teamed up with what remained of Hilltop, Janis’ people teamed up with Rick’s, and Lily’s people had now taken control of the Kingdom. For the first time, the Sanctuary wasn’t the largest group in the area. Far from it in fact. It didn’t help that some of Simon’s men had stayed behind to try and take the Sanctuary from the inside too. They’d failed, but not before they’d taken a couple of people with them. Even Sherry had been in on it, trying to take out Negan before he shot her brains out.

Now, running low on resources of all kinds, people had already chosen to jump ship. A few had gone to the other groups, wanting to join, asking for mercy. As much as it enraged Javi, he understood the decision. The guaranteed survival of the Saviors had weakened greatly.

Javi stuck with it for a week. A part of him wanted to stay, to fight until the end. But he had Mariana in his care now and even though she could easily take care of herself, it wouldn’t have been right to abandon her again.

So after a week had gone by, after the pattern of failure and their dwindling men was undeniable now, Javi went to see Negan.

He wasn’t alone when Javi went into the war room but after just one glance, Negan barked at everyone to leave. Only once the door was firmly shut behind them did he talk again. Negan’s fists slammed into the table. His head hung low as he growled out, “I know that fucking look. So you’re jumping ship too.”

It wasn’t a question but Javi felt compelled to say, “Yes.”

“You’re going to fucking run then. Huh? I saved your god damn life and you’re fucking—” Negan had finally looked up, his words forced to stop as Javi had moved in front of him and kissed him hard.

When Javi pulled back, he didn’t step away. His brow furrowed with regret. “I’m not running. I’ll be surviving and I want you to come too.”

Negan laughed hard. He pulled away and shook his head. “You think I’ll fucking abandon all this? Nearly a fucking decade of keeping this place together! And I’m supposed to just fucking waltz off?”

“Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this place is going down. If you get lucky, you’ll get killed by Simon or Lily. Maybe even Janis. And that’s a good outcome for you. If Rick’s people get you though?” Javi let out his own, humorless laugh at the thought. “You know their shtick better than me. They will do everything to prove they aren’t like us! If they get you, they won’t kill you. They’ll cage you up, put you in some jail.”

Javi walked closer again with each word. “You will be surrounded by the fact that you suddenly have nothing. No control. No power. And you’ll try and fool yourself for a while but every man has his breaking point and you will reach a point where you are wondering why you didn’t run straight to Simon and let him put a bullet in your brain because by that point, it’s going to look like a better fucking option than what Rick Grimes will put you through.

“But if you leave? You have a chance to rebuild again, to live again, to gain that power and control back. You’re not going to get it by clinging to here.” Javi pushed forward. He kissed Negan again, this time sweeter, gentler. Finally, Javi said, “And for what it’s worth, I’d rather Simon kill you, because seeing you dead would be better than seeing you broken.”

Javi didn’t wait to see how Negan would respond. He didn’t focus on Negan’s shocked face or stick around long enough for the older man do anything. Javi left because deep down, no matter what he had said, he knew Negan wouldn’t come with him.

Negan was smart, but he was narcissistic as well. In this instance, Javi would have bet that the narcissism would win. This was his everything, his pinnacle of achievement. He wasn’t willing to admit failure. He didn’t believe he was losing yet.

And as Javi continued to walk away, it hurt. Each step, each breath. This place had become his home for well over four years. He hadn’t had anything like this since the apocalypse had occurred. And after finding Mariana, he had hoped to really show her what it was like. But that chance was gone and like with everything in their world, it was time to move on.

Javi had prepared to leave earlier. Talking to Negan had been his last task.

No one looked at Javi as he went out to one of the vehicles. Everyone was too preoccupied with themselves, trying to decide whether to stay or leave. Some were already creating small groups of their own. Others weighed the pros and cons of going it alone.

It was time to say goodbye.

Javi got to the prepped and running van. In the two backseats were Mariana, Tennessee, Louise, and Ruby. Javi had talked to others like Three. He’d even tried to convince Molly to come. But no, she had other people she needed to look out for and was going to leave with them if they chose to. Mariana had asked her friends to come and they had said yes. They didn’t have anything worth staying for at the Sanctuary, and they’d accepted that Violet and AJ had disappeared with Clem. Assuming they were alive at all.

The only face inside the van that did surprise Javi though was the one in the passenger’s seat.

“Arat?”

“Are we leaving now or are you still trying to push the stone mountain?”

Javi let out a tired sigh as he slowly got in. “You mean Negan.”

Arat just cocked an eyebrow.

“No. He’s not coming.” Javi closed his eyes for a few seconds. He took another deep breath.

“I’m sorry Javi,” murmured Mariana. She’d moved up, putting a comforting hand on Javi’s shoulder. “I didn’t realize he meant so much to you. I don’t think I even saw you two together.”

“It’s been a busy couple of weeks,” replied Javi. He shook his head. It hurt. Not knowing where Clementine was? It hurt too. Leaving the Sanctuary? All of it hurt far more than Javi would have ever expected when he’d first arrived. Now he turned around and looked at the kids in the back. “You got everything?”

“Everything,” Mari said, speaking for them.

“I’m assuming you’re ready too?” Javi asked Arat.

She nodded.

“I’m surprised you’re coming. Would have expected you to stay. At least a little longer.”

“Maybe if I’d thought of Simon’s plan first, but no. Too many groups, too many variables. Besides, your niece mentioned you might be able to find Clementine. There’s a chance Katy made it out and is with her.”

Javi nodded, even as he silently doubted that. He would drive them there first, just in case. But over a week had passed since Simon had taken over Hilltop. Since Clementine and the others had disappeared, presumed dead. Even if she had made it, she would have stopped at their planned meeting place and would have left days ago. But if she was a live, maybe she had left a note for him. The chance, no matter how small, was something Javi needed to find.

He turned on the van and put on his seatbelt. He was ready to drive off when he suddenly noted that a large number of people had started to run. Many in the direction of the armory. Others to the main building. Still others seemed to be grabbing vehicles.

“What the—”

Javi jumped as Arat’s door was yanked open. Negan stood there and gestured with his hand. “Out.”

“Yes sir,” Arat said, only just barely hiding her own surprise. She smoothly got out and went into the back of the van, sitting on the middle seat with Mariana. Negan got in and before Javi could say anything, he reached over and pulled him into a kiss.

Javi melted into it. The whole thing didn’t feel real. Negan hadn’t really come. Had he? Javi was only willing to pull away when he heard a cough come from the back. It suspiciously sounded like Mariana.

“You came,” Javi breathlessly murmured. “Why?”

“Because you are real fucking clever with that fucking tongue of yours.”

Javi couldn’t help but blush at the disgusted groans that came from the younger ones in the back. “And the people suddenly running around…”

“I gave one last announcement. Didn’t seem fair if I just disappeared on them.”

Javi nodded in understanding. “I’m surprised one person isn’t at least gunning for you then.”

“More focused on their own self-preservation at the moment. Otherwise I’m pretty sure they would,” grinned Negan. He gestured forward and Javi quickly pulled out of the gates for the last time. A few others followed, already intent on leaving as quickly as possible. Negan added, “I’m assuming you got a fucking plan?”

“Sort of. There’s a place we’re going to stop. It’ll give us enough protection that we can take a moment to look at the maps and figure out the best road to take,” replied Javi. “I was thinking of heading towards the west coast though. The east just seems to be getting too crowded.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Negan replied.

As Javi drove, Negan got up and turned around in his seat. “Now, Miss Garcia. Believe me when I say I know of you, but I don’t think we’ve actually been introduced.”

Mariana quickly shook her head. She held out her hand. “You can just call me Mariana. Or Mari.”

Negan shook it and said, “I’ll keep that in mind Mari. What happened to your eye?”

Javi resisted the urge to groan or roll his own. It was just Negan being Negan, forward and with no filter.

“Got shot.” She lifted up the eye patch slightly before lowering it again.

“Jesus. Well aren’t you a fucking little badass getting through that shit. I wouldn’t cover that shit up. Make people realize who they’re really fucking with.”

Mari actually chuckled, unexpectedly smiling and giving a slight nod.

“And let’s see, know you were working with the doc. You got any medical knowledge?” Negan asked, focusing in on Ruby.

“Yes sir. I learned what I could from a school nurse that was with us in our last home before she turned. Dr. Carson taught me a lot too.”

“Glad to hear it. And let’s see, names…”

As Negan continued to talk to them, Javi knew what he was doing. Assessing the situation. Figuring out what strengths everyone had. What weaknesses. Javi wouldn’t be surprised if by the time he stopped, Negan was going to quickly turn to him and tell him everything they needed in order to strengthen the group and counteract any of the failings.

By that point, the few vehicles that had followed him out of the Sanctuary had all turned onto different roads. They were alone and Javi was thinking they’d get a straight shot to that little town when he suddenly started to slow. At his quick intake of breath, Negan quickly turned around.

“Shit,” whispered Javi.

“Must be real fucking new. I don’t remember reading any god damn intel on this,” Negan muttered as he looked over the roadblock.

Javi slowed to a stop. The people up there could clearly see them. Should he turn around? Try for a different road? He peered forward and suddenly found that he recognized one person. If they went a different way, there was the chance that there would just be more roadblocks waiting for them. But here…here an idea started to form.

“I’m going to go talk to them.”

“Are you fucking crazy? That’s Rick’s people!” Negan yelled.

“I know, but I think I can do this. If something does go wrong though, get everyone the hell out of here.”

Arat leaned forward. “You’re not actually serious, are you? What could you possibly say to them that would make this situation better?”

“Uncle Javi, we should just—”

“You guys have to trust me on this.” Javi looked at everyone before fully focusing on Negan. “You did say you trusted me. Right?”

“Oh…god fucking damn it. I did. Shit! Fucking go I guess but I swear to god, don’t do anything stupid. You get your ass back here.”

Javi tried to show off his most reassuring smile. “Understood.”

He got out and walked forward. He could see some of the men and women, tensing. They really wanted to shoot him. However, the familiar face continued to hold them back as she walked up to meet him.

“It was Maggie, right?” asked Javi as they both came within earshot.

“Yes. Javier?”

“Yeah. Javi.”

“So…you finally decide to run?”

“I know a losing battle when I see one.”

Maggie slowly nodded. “And now…what? You think we’ll just let you go?”

“I have kids with me. If I ever want to see them grow up, I need to leave now. Protect them. You can understand that right?”

“I can…but you’d have to leave Negan behind.”

“No. Out of the question.”

“I won’t let you through unless you give us Negan. You could try another way…but I don’t think you’ll find much luck.”

Javi looked behind her, at her people. “If I pulled my gun now, I’d be killed in turn. But maybe I could take out one of your men before I went down. Maybe I could even take you out. Leave your child motherless.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I gave you an out and you threaten me instead. That the Savior way?”

“Not threatening, no. I’m making a point. I’m not trading any of their lives for safe passage, not even Negan’s. The only life I’m willing to lay down is my own if it gets them to safety.”

Maggie looked behind him, eyes clearly on Negan. “So someone can even love the monster.”

Javi nodded.

Maggie focused back in on him. “So you’re leaving for good?”

“Far, far away. The place has just gotten too crowded.”

She slowly nodded in agreement. Her eyes flitted between Javi and the van behind him before she finally said, “I’ve been in your debt for a while now. Because you helped deliver my baby. Helped to make sure they were safe and came out alive.”

“I was just doing the right—”

“Doesn’t fucking matter. I don’t like being in debt to a Savior and unlike you, I’d feel bad if I killed you for your help. So here’s how it’s going to go. You’re going to get back in the van. I’m going to tell my men to move aside. You’re going to leave and we’ll be even. And if I ever see you around here again, you’ll get a bullet first and questions later. That sound fair enough to you?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’re even now,” Maggie replied. “Goodbye.”

“Thank you,” Javi murmured as he turned and walked towards the van.

When he got in, Negan was shaking his head. “What the hell did you tell her that got her to agree?”

“I helped deliver her baby. Remember? Us leaving makes us even now.”

Javi waited for the people to actually clear the road before driving closer. He could see them arguing with Maggie but she put her foot down and they finally listened. Javi drove through, hopefully to never see her or any of Rick’s people again.

After that, it didn’t take long before they arrived at the small town. They pulled up to one of the small houses and Javi could tell Negan recognized it.

“What the fuck—”

“Clementine and I made a promise. That we’d try and meet here if things ever went south. It’s…it’s not realistic at all. If she’s alive, she’s long gone but I just…I had to make sure.”

Negan silently nodded. Only Javi got out, everyone feeling that they would be back on the road soon anyways. Javi looked around, not seeing any signs of life. He wondered if there would be a note inside. He had to at least check.

Javi started to walk towards the door, right up until he heard a noise coming from the right side of the house. He immediately pulled out his gun and turned and—

“I knew you’d get here eventually,” came the breathless reply.

Javi ran to Clementine. He hugged her so hard and swung her around that her hat fell off. “How long have you been here!”

“A few days—”

“But you were supposed to leave.”

“I…I had a hunch that you’d be coming along. Eventually,” Clem smiled.

Javi’s own smile was wide and impossible to tone down. He hugged her even harder. He’d thought he’d lost her but here she’d been the whole time. When Javi pulled back a bit, Negan had come up by him. He put a warm hand on Clementine.

“Glad to see you’re alive and well Firecracker.”

“You too, though I’m surprised you’re here.”

“Javi convinced me,” Negan grinned.

It made Clem smile just a little larger too.

And then Javi looked behind Clementine and he realized that their group was so much bigger than he’d first thought.

Mariana ran to AJ, picking him up and swinging him around, almost like Javi had just done to Clem. Violet ran to Louise and Ruby. Negan and Arat gave respectful nods to Christopher and then Arat walked to Katy and kissed her.

“And even if you hadn’t come,” Clem said, drawing Javi’s attention back to her, “I would have left a note. I’ve been up and down this east coast too many times to count. I was planning on leading us out west.”

Javi couldn’t help but laugh. “I can’t fucking believe it. I was thinking the same thing!”

Clem laughed and they hugged again. When Javi looked up from where his face had been buried into her shoulder, he realized that despite the fall of the Sanctuary, some of its best parts had survived. It would be hard, but there was a future ahead of them after all.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's finally done! Nearly four months and this story is finished. I'm both sad to see it go but super happy I got through it and that others enjoyed it up until the end. I loved writing out this idea and developing Clem and Javi in new ways, along with blending elements of the show, game, and comics.
> 
> Also for those interested, I made one last playlist to symbolize the end of this story and I also put all my playlists in order for those interested: https://8tracks.com/changethecircumstances/don-t-let-in-the-light
> 
> Now, thank you to the people who stuck with this from the beginning, those who came in midway, and those that have been waiting for this to be finished before trying it. The kudos and comments helped a lot and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and please, enjoy the end!

Javi drove through the early morning. He was in a van. It was carefully decked out to store everything they needed. A built in shelf near their heads occasionally rattled as it held cans of food. A small roped off area on the floor kept a group of pots together, food growing in all. Seed packets were squished in between them. The van was also full of warm bodies. There was someone beside Javi, kids asleep in the back. It all felt so familiar.

But Gabe was gone. Kate probably too. And he certainly hadn’t had another truck following behind him back then.

Javi looked to the passenger’s seat. Once, it had been Kate he would have looked to, would have asked advice of. Now it was Negan. His feet were propped up on the dash, seat reclined back, and a map spread across his legs. He’d woken up recently and was already looking to their next move. Mariana was still behind Javi, in one of the middle seats with her head slouched forward as she slept. Christopher was in the other middle seat, his jacket a makeshift pillow between his head and the window. The back seat had been pushed down so that it was a bed, Clementine, AJ, and Tenn asleep there.

In the covered truck behind them, Arat was driving with Kate beside her. If Ruby was awake, she might have been sitting in between them. Both women had taken a liking to her no-nonsense, straightforward personality. And she was a hell of a fighter when needed. If Ruby was asleep though, she’d probably still be in the back with Louis and Violet. They’d managed to find an old mattress in one of the places they’d stopped. The truck was now decked out and nice enough to sleep in if the cramped corners didn’t bother you. There were supplies stuffed back there too, mostly weapons and a few spare clothes.

“We should probably make it off the interstate soon.”

Negan’s voice had Javi focusing on him again. He nodded.

They’d mostly been doing the usual back roads, trying to stay safe and away from where herds tended to be found. However, if they knew there was a stretch of interstate that was far enough away from any city, then they’d travel down it for a while to gain a lot more ground in a shorter amount of time.

They were crossing stretches of desert now. It was the first time Javi had been in such an area for a long time. He was so used to bushes and trees or even buildings hiding enemies. It felt weird being able to see until the horizon grew hazy and just see nothing. They’d made sure to scavenge a surplus of materials on their last stop so there was enough gas to get them back to more civilized areas. If they found an opportunity though, they’d probably still stop to scavenge what they could.

The sun was just then starting to crest over the hill and Javi could hear the kids and old man shifting about as they started to wake. Clementine fully came to and carefully walked up until she was crouching in between Javi and Negan.

“Where are we now?” she asked, rubbing her eyes and voice rough from sleep. Negan passed her a water bottle.

“Just left New Mexico. We should probably start figuring out where exactly we want to settle down again. Even if it’s only for a few nights,” Javi commented.

“We don’t have to go all the way to the coast,” Clem said.

“True. Having the coast at our back could prove a good defense though,” Negan mused. “Or just end up trapping us. Depends what defenses we want and what we’re willing to risk for it.”

Both Javi and Clem nodded in agreement. Really, there were pros and cons to everything, just like how they’d been driving for the past few weeks. If it had just been Negan, Javi, and Clem, maybe Mari too, then they could probably keep traveling for a lot longer. However, with a packed van and a whole other vehicle behind them, traveling forever just wasn’t realistic. They’d already dealt with running out of food and gas issues, getting stuck in areas until they could gather enough resources to start moving again. Eventually that could happen in an area where there just wasn’t anything to scavenge. They needed something more sustainable.

“Either way, we want to get out of the desert areas. We have to make sure we have the ability to grow food,” Javi added.

“Definitely true,” sighed Clem. “It would be nicer to find a river we can camp at. That could still provide protection if it’s deep enough and we could fish.”

“Would definitely be preferable. But we’d probably come across some fucks who already had that idea—”

Negan’s rumblings got interrupted as Clem spotted a sign that flew by them. “The Grand Canyon?”

“Oh yeah, we’re nearing it somewhere around here,” Javi said.

He heard stirrings in the back and glanced in the rearview mirror. The others were starting to wake up. Mariana let out a large yawn and scratched under her eye patch. She asked, “You mean like the actual Grand Canyon?”

“Well it’s certainly not a god damn model,” snorted Negan. Mari rolled her eye.

“I remember Lee told me about it,” murmured Clem. “We had lessons at the beginning. Obliviously, history was his biggest thing but that included a lot of landmarks and what not.”

“I went once. Family trip a long time ago,” Javi said.

“Lucille and I went there.”

Javi looked over, surprised by the admittance, especially with the others waking up behind them.

Negan gave a little shrug. “Before we settled down and shit.”

It was hard for Javi not to smile. With Clem and himself, it was different. There were things that tied the three of them together. But Negan opening up in front of the others, even if he wasn’t talking to them directly, it made Javi happy. He was pretty sure he’d always see Negan as the leader. But it made this feel more like a family rather than a man and his soldiers, which was what Javi hoped they were becoming.

“I always wanted to see it,” Clem quickly said.

Javi hesitated. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“We need to make sure we get back to a place where we can properly scavenge. There’s probably jack shit over there,” Negan replied.

Clem looked about ready to try and argue her own point when a muffled response came from the back. “What’s a canyon?”

Javi looked back in the rearview mirror and Clem and Negan turned around. AJ was rubbing his eyes and sitting up, expression really confused.

“It’s like the area on the other side of a steep cliff,” Christopher tried to explain.

“Yeah but uh,” Mari paused, trying to think up a better analogy. “But it’s on two sides, the cliffs. So you have that space in between, deep in the earth. That’s the canyon.”

Tenn was awake now too and asked, “I’ve seen canyons. What’s so great about this one?”

Clem whipped her head back to Negan, showing big, begging eyes. “Oh come on. He doesn’t even know what it is!”

Javi snorted as he watched the staring match between Clem and Negan out of the corner of his eyes. They were practically nose to nose, Negan’s eyes narrowed into a glare as Clem showed off an innocent expression that was laughable and didn’t fit her in the slightest.

“It could be fu—”

“You stay out of this,” Negan warned without looking at Javi. “This is between me and Firecracker.”

Javi couldn’t help but chuckle again as Negan and Clem continued their staring contest. Negan’s eyes just narrowed more. Clem’s just got bigger. And the—

“Oh fucking fine! Let me look at the map,” groaned Negan.

He readjusted it and started looking it over. However, the radio crackled to life. Negan picked it up and Arat’s deadpanned voice came through. “We are switching Louis with anyone else next stop or so help me I will stab him between the eyes.”

Javi laughed hard before quickly stifling it as Negan answered. “You sure? Sounds like you’re getting along just fucking fine to me.” Negan shot a smirk at Javi and this time he couldn’t hide the laughter.

“If he says one more god damn word—”

Javi heard what sounded like Katy snickering beside her only for the radio to cut out. It cut back on and then out again. Sounds of a struggle could be heard for a few seconds and Javi glanced back, just barely seeing Arat swerve on the road.

Louis’ voice finally came through, the apparent victor. “I am a delight and you both know it!”

Mariana full on howled in the back and Tenn and AJ looked just as amused.

“It’s not my fault she refuses to play any good music, and why do we have to have quiet time at the beginning of every—oof!”

A thud sounded and one glance back showed that Arat had slammed on the breaks before quickly hitting the gas again.

“I bet that hurt,” AJ said with a small smirk.

The walkie-talkie came to life again and they could just barely hear Louis’ groans coming from the back. Ruby’s southern drawl quickly overshadowed that though as she said, “I think for everyone’s sanity it would be best if we switched as soon as possible. Even with how amusing this is.”

“Hey!” shouted Louis.

Some motion type noise came through as Ruby seemed to be handing off the walkie-talkie to Arat again. Their muffled voices came through.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

It clicked off for a few seconds and then Arat’s voice came in louder. “Negan, I swear—”

“Don’t worry, we’ll stop soon. Though there might be a detour beforehand.”

“What kind of detour?” Arat warily asked.

“I’ll tell you in a bit. Gotta look over the maps.”

“Just know there’s a timer on this kid and it’s ticking down,” Arat said with a final warning before clicking it off.

“I didn’t think anything could ware down Arat like that,” Clementine laughed as she turned back to Mari.

“The only thing that kept him quiet with Lilly was that she finally threatened to cut off his tongue.”

“Arat might just do it if he keeps getting on her nerves,” snorted Clem.

“Wait, she wouldn’t really. Would she?” Tenn asked. Worry seemed to filter into Tenn’s voice and technically, Clem probably should have been a bit more sensitive. However, honesty overruled and she shrugged.

“Never say never,” snorted Clem. Before Tenn got too worried, she added, “Don’t worry though. Next stop, I’ll switch with him.”

“May not need to stop. Not until we get to the canyon anyways,” said Negan as his eyes moved over the maps. He’d pulled out two more in order to cross-reference it.

“We’re still going?” asked AJ.

“If there’s an easy way to get there and we can keep ourselves from getting backed into a corner, yeah. We’ll try.”

“Hmm, that’s good to hear,” mused Christopher. “It’ll be nice, letting these kids do something normal like sightseeing for once.”

Christopher carefully turned around and started treating the plants they had with them as Mariana started grabbing their morning rations. Clementine scooted closer. She watched Negan mumble to himself, his fingers moving over the lines and trying to figure out the best path possible.

“What’s that there?” asked Clem. She pointed at a marker near the canyon.

“A lodge. Probably people there if the place is still standing.”

“Could find food then. Give us a place to sleep other than the vans for a night.”

“Could bring a fight.”

“Been meaning to stretch my legs anyways,” Clem smirked.

“Good fucking point there. Let’s see. If we went this way…”

Negan, Clem, and Javi went back and forth on which route would be rest. They only paused to eat the rations Mari passed them. After that, it took Negan just a few more minutes before he was satisfied with the path they were going to take. With the path marked with a sharpie, he said, “Going this way will take longer. We can stop now, bathroom break for the kids and I’ll talk to Arat.”

“You sure?” asked Javi.

“Just let me take over Doe-Eyes. You’ve been fucking driving all night.”

“I can go a little longer.”

“If we stop, we might as well trade off the thorn in Arat’s fucking side and then it makes sense that I just go ahead and start fucking driving. I’m make it a god damn order if I have to.”

The slight suggestive way which Negan said that had Javi blushing and laughing. “No orders necessary. I assure you. We’ll pull over in just a little bit.”

Negan pulled out the walkie-talkie again. “Arat, watch for when we pull over. When we do, you can go ahead and throw the fucking kid our way.”

“Thank Christ,” growled Arat. Katy could be heard laughing beside her. “And the detour?”

“I’ll talk to you about it. When we stop.”

“Over and out.”

A few minutes later they pulled off on the side of the road. There weren’t any good places to hide off and do their business so they just wandered into the desert if needed and the rest stuck near the vans, looking the other way. Javi looked to the west, the way they were going, and couldn’t spot a single muertos. It was ridiculous to think they were actually clear of them of course. For all Javi knew, there could even be one buried in the sand out there. But the idea that they were all finally gone, it was a nice thought. Even if it was naïve.

The first thing that happened at the stop was Clem traded off with Louis. The guy practically sprinted towards Javi as Clem casually walked over to the covered truck. Katy was laughing again as Arat continued to stare daggers into Louis’ back before focusing on Negan.

Clem got comfortable talking with Violet and Ruby as Javi stretched a crick in his back.

“Man, you do not understand how grateful I am,” Louis said with a huff. “She was like seconds away from stabbing me!”

“You sure you didn’t deserve it?” smirked Javi.

“Ah, really man?! I would have thought for sure you’d side with me. Mari said you were cool!”

“He is!” Mariana quickly said, jumping to her uncle’s defense. “He’s just not stupid enough to side against Arat.”

“Ooo, harsh!”

“At least she’s honest!” shouted Clem and the other girls around her laughed.

Javi rolled his eyes. He definitely understood why Louis and Arat clashed. Their personalities were polar opposites and not in the good way. However, Javi couldn’t help but love his new group. It was a good mix of old and new, of varied talents and levels of experience. It was surprising that both his past with his blood family and his found family had managed to mix. It obviously wasn’t the exact same as before, either times, but it gave Javi hope that whatever came next, they’d keep surviving. Some might die, their group could get broken up, but Javi would always have someone and he’d always watch out for his family’s backs while he could.

He listened in as Clem spoke about the new plan to Ruby and Violet. Both immediately perked up, having heard about the Grand Canyon but never having seen it. Louis was also pretty excited about what would technically be his first field trip ever. That made Mariana mention, “I missed out on my chance at a field trip. Got a really bad cold that day.”

“Well now we’re making up for it,” promised Javi, again happy that he could bring some sense of normal to their lives. “And it’ll be a hell of a lot better than anything a school could cook up.”

Mari seemed pleased with that. “You mean like how we were never allowed to bring weapons to school but we have a whole arsenal with us now?”

Javi laughed. “Something like that.”

At the same time, Negan finished up marking Arat’s map and making sure they were on the same page. He walked back to Javi and stated, “My turn to drive slugger. Get some damn sleep finally.”

“I yield,” chuckled Javi at Negan’s demand. He didn’t feel too tired. After all, he’d learned how to run on as few hours of sleep as possible, but he definitely wasn’t going to argue with Negan on something like this.

Instead, they double checked that everyone had gone to the restroom if needed, passed over some supplies from one vehicle and back again, and then everyone piled back in with only Louis and Clem switching.

Louis took shotgun next to Negan and AJ got the middle seat next to Christopher with Tenn and Mariana on the floor. They all assured Javi that it was fine for him to use the pushed down backseat. He tried to insist that the kids use it but one glare from Negan in the rearview mirror had Javi throwing up his hands again in mock surrender. He lay down amongst the blankets and makeshift pillows they’d found along the way.

Each one had its own story, its own origin. They, along with the items in the truck behind them, showed their path from the Sanctuary to where they were now. It was sentimental thinking that probably would have made Negan laugh, but it still made Javi smile. As he lay there, he could hear Louis already starting to run his mouth, Negan easily keeping up to speed with his equally quick and much more vulgar tongue. Christopher chided him on the language used around the youngest children, even though he knew that wouldn’t stop Negan. Everyone fought over what music to listen to and when a choice was picked out, it started blasting through the speakers. Louis was practically yelling over it and AJ was singing along, loud and off key.

By all intents and purposes, Javi shouldn’t have been able to fall asleep in all that racket. However, despite the noise, he felt safe. He curled up and the noises drifted away. He’d wake up if danger was near but for now, he easily slept.

As he did, Clem got acquainted with Violet and Ruby. She’d gotten to know the members fairly well at the Sanctuary. However, that had been as a soldier. She’d ordered them around, understood their strengths and weaknesses. Their personalities and interests had been secondary and she hadn’t been able to devote her time to AJ as much as she would have wanted too.

With how much they’d been traveling, getting to know each other had been all they could do now outside of the basic survival needs. They’d played cards a lot. Or as best they could in a bouncing vehicle. AJ and Tenn would show off their drawings some days. But mostly it was a lot of talking. They all opened up more and more about their pasts as the days flew by.

Being on the open road like this, it was different than when it had just been Clem, AJ, and Kenny. For one, it was just a very different set of people and they were larger. However, the new group felt more sustainable than past ones. Years had gone by since the apocalypse and the people she was with now finally understood just how dangerous and unpredictable that world was. They knew how to carry themselves. They knew that it had to be them or us, and not just with the walkers. Unlike some that Clem had been with, she knew that they would do anything to prevent unnecessary risks to the group.

Of course, Clem had to admit that the old her would have had a lot more ethical issues with how the new group was run. Now she knew it was worth it though. Now the chances of her seeing tomorrow with her family was more likely because of it. She’d learned from the good _and_ bad people in her life. Now she was stronger for it.

The change of scenery also felt promising. The Sanctuary, Lily’s former group, Richmond and all the others along the coast, it had gotten to be too much. For those that had stayed and ended up not dying, they would rebuild out of whatever was left. However, for her group, her new family, they needed to start fresh and without worry of other groups encroaching on their territory.

At the start, the goal had just been to get to the west coast. However, Clem was feeling hopeful as they neared the Grand Canyon. There was a forest, a national park they were going to have to drive through in order to get to the lodge which could mean a viable place to grow food. It meant rivers for clean water. That brought with it a possibility of a new home.

Besides the lodge, from what Clem had gleamed from the maps, there were campsites and cabins in the area as well. That made the presence of other groups more likely. However, if they killed them or pushed them out, then their group would be safe and the added shelters for cover and outposts could prove useful around the possible base.

She didn’t want to get her hopes up too much. After all, the goal was just to see the landmark and then probably continue west. But maybe…just maybe…

Clem didn’t share her thoughts with Violet or Ruby. She could tell they were both getting tired of traveling. They were used to staying in one spot, having been at that school since before the beginning up until Lilly had taken them. They wanted a home, something sturdy. Not to be stuck in the vehicles forever. However, Clem didn’t want to give them unwarranted hope and kept her mouth shut on the topic.

As they drove, Katy eventually convinced Violet to sing. Arat even encouraged it, stating, “Don’t worry about nerves. Anything is better than Louis’ prattling.”

Violet chuckled at that. She eased up and for the next few minutes they sang. There was one song that Violet even taught them, their voices going together in perfect imperfection. Several hours passed. It started to get dark again as they entered the national park. They stopped to use the restroom and eat, Javi clearly just having woke up.

They kept the stop short, Katy taking over the wheel for Arat and Javi getting back in the driver’s seat of the van. Mari and Tenn ended up going to the truck so Clementine got to hang out with AJ and Louis in the van.

It took them a while to get to the lodge with most of them catching a few minutes to hours of sleep here and there. As they drove, more and more walkers finally started to come into view. It was possible they’d been moving across the US and could be from anywhere. It was more likely at least a few were long dead campers though.

They stopped early in the morning about a mile away from the lodge. Those that were asleep got quietly woken up. The idea was to sneak up on the lodge soon, early and when the people were likely least expecting it. They didn’t want to alert anyone to their presence if it was being used after all.

A couple of more hours passed as weapons were checked and rations went around before the planned assault on the lodge. By then it was morning and Negan had chosen who would stay or go. Christopher and Katy would stay behind with the rest of the kids, leaving Javi, Arat, Clem, and Negan to approach the lodge. The orders were taken with a grain of salt.

“Hey!” cried Louis. “When are you going to realize that me and Violet and Ruby are practically the same age as Clementine? I’m pretty sure I’m actually older than her!”

“Experience is where it counts,” Katy said.

“And this is supposed to be a stealth mission which automatically disqualifies you,” Arat deadpanned.

“And Firecracker’s got bigger fucking balls than you,” Negan said. “You stay.”

Clem snorted but looked pleased still at being backed by Negan.

“Is it like, official wail on Louis day?”

“If it isn’t, we should make it official,” teased Violet.

“I like that idea,” Ruby seconded.

“Hang on a—”

“Don’t worry Clem, we’ve got it handled,” Mari smiled.

“And we’ll radio if we see any movement headed your way,” Katy added.

“We’ll see you in a few then. Expect the worst if we don’t contact you again in at least two to three hours,” Javi said.

“Understood.”

“And you,” Javi focused on Mari, “take care of the kids. Louis needs someone looking out for him.”

Louis groaned in the background again. “Really?!”

“You’ve got it,” grinned Mari. “Come back soon.”

“We fucking promise,” said Negan. “Come on. If anyone is there, they’ll probably be up by now and we should be able to see any clear signs of movement.”

Javi nodded in agreement and they quickly headed through the forest. Negan took the lead as they cut through the sparse trees. The floral was different from what Javi was used to in the east but it certainly looked like plants could readily grow here. If they could make a greenhouse of some sorts, that could allow them to grow even more.

He shook his head. Best to stay in the moment and start thinking of the future after they got a good look at the lodge. One glance at Clem clearly showed she agreed.

Negan used a compass to make sure they were on the right path as they zeroed in on the lodge. When they came up to it, Javi expected barricades. He thought for sure there would be patrols walking around, giant signs that said stay back, muertos impaled on sticks. Surprisingly, some of his expectations were correct. Just not all of them.

There were remnants of barricades. However, they looked like they’d been broken down years ago and the work had been pretty shoddy at that. The material either had clear wear and tear or the wood was decaying. Javi supposed the state of it actually made sense in retrospect. Most of the people that had been at this lodge had gone for the sights. Not to get an authentic camping experiences. Most probably hadn’t had a clue as to what to do when reports of the dead started coming in.

Of course, that didn’t mean someone else hadn’t moved in since then.

Javi continued scoping out the area. There were spikes with a few long dead muertos though a few were still moving. Some type of attempt at defense had been made with natural bramble bushes. However, that looked like it hadn’t paid off. Some of the windows on the actual lodge looked broken too and there was only one car left, utterly stripped of parts. Javi tried to spot any movement coming from inside but the only sign came from the muertos outside. When Negan seemed to come to the same conclusion, they finally marched ahead.

Just because it seemed empty though didn’t mean it was time to goof around. Negan was as careful as ever, silently making several gestures with his free hand in order to give further instructions. Javi nodded and went right with Clem as Arat followed Negan to the left and around the structure. As Javi and Clem passed the old, broken barricades, he noticed the warnings written on the walls. They were also old and clearly worn down from the elements. Javi technically couldn’t read them but it was pretty easy to guess what they said. All one or two worded warnings and threats.

Clearly they’d worked about as well as the makeshift wall.

Clem took the lead as they finally came up to a door. She tested the knob. It was locked and after a quick look around, she broke the window and unlocked it. As she pushed open the door and pointed her gun into the room, Javi did the same above her.

He swept the room for any threats. So far, still nothing.

They walked through what had to be an old laundry room. There were bloodstains that had soaked into the floor. From the looks of it, some old battle might have taken place here. Perhaps another, better equipped group had wiped this one out and kept moving. Maybe it had been the dead that had taken over. The second was less likely though. They’d probably be seeing more muertos or at least more pieces of their rotted food left behind. More blood stains for sure. More windows and broken doors would have seemed more likely too but it was impossible to know for sure.

Clem and Javi continued to make their way out of the workers’ areas. It was clear there had been a group here, possibly the people on the day that it all happened. However, something had torn them apart, gotten the majority of them killed or had driven them out. More blood showed signs of that and they did start to find more muertos wandering the halls, though thankfully not anything as bad as a room full.

Javi found one door that had to be forced open. It took a couple of shoves and Clem watched his back as he stumbled forward. Javi looked up and saw a muertos on the floor, dragging its way over. It looked like it had been trapped in the room for years. There was someone lying dead on the bed, the flesh mostly eaten. It clearly had been an attempt at a murder-suicide pact, only the suicide part had somewhat missed. Clem crushed the skull as Javi walked around the large room.

“Shame, would have made a nice mattress if they hadn’t bled all over it,” sighed Javi.

“We’ll find some use for it. Come on. We need to make sure all the rooms are cleared.”

It didn’t take long for them to meet up with Negan and Arat who’d come in from the other side.

“Anything so far?”

“Jack shit,” said Negan. “You checked out the dining area?”

“Not yet.”

“Neither have we. Come on.”

Now they all walked a lot more casually. They were still on the defense of course. A walker could come out of nowhere at any second. However, it was pretty clear there were no more people in the lodge. Negan swung Lucille by his side, whistling all the way as they walked into the large dining area. The walls were almost all windows. Some were cracked but the majority were intact and able to show off the beauty of the canyon behind them. However, Javi’s eyes immediately went to an over grown section.

It was a garden. The space was completely unkempt with vines and leaves going everywhere, but it was still alive and thriving. A whole in the roof showed where water must have been getting in, keeping everything beneath it going.

“This place needs some fixes,” said Clem, “but…”

“It’s not fucking half bad. Apparently pretty damn secluded too,” Negan admitted. “We’ll definitely stay here for a night or two. We’ll use this as a base as we look over the rest of the area. Want to make sure there isn’t anyone around who’s going to pop up and drive us off too like whoever did to these fuckers.”

They all nodded in agreement as Negan finally radioed to the others.

“It’s all clear. Get your asses over here.”

“Copy that,” said Katy.

As they waited for the others to drive over, they went ahead and started moving the dead out of the lodge. They opened up the windows and doors too, getting the smell out as Christopher and Katy both drove up in their respective vehicles.

“It’s still standing,” Mariana murmured in amazement.

“Shit, this is so cool,” Louis said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place like this.”

“Well don’t expect the five star treatment,” Violet sarcastically muttered.

AJ snorted. All eyes turned to him. “Just thinking of walker servants. Kind of funny.”

“Waiters and servers might as well have been walkers back then,” Katy said. “Talk about the most mind numbing job I ever had.”

The adults laughed, much to the confusion of the younger ones, especially Tenn and AJ.

“Come on,” Javi said. “You can help throw the rest of these bodies over.”

Christopher shook his head. “You’re not talking about—”

“What?” asked Arat. “It’s a shear drop. Makes sense.”

“Just make sure no one falls off,” groaned the old man.

“Excuse you, I’m a master at aerobatics. I would never fall off,” Louis said.

“Keep talking and I’ll push you off,” replied Arat.

Clem rolled her eyes and simply followed Javi and Negan back through the lodge and out to the viewing area in the back. The others followed. Negan grabbed one of the walkers and turned to Javi with a wicked grin. “Bet I can throw mine farther than yours.”

“We are not having a competition of who can throw a corpse farther into the Grand Canyon,” Javi dryly stated.

“I’ll challenge that bet,” Clem replied, picking up another.

“No fair!” cried Javi. “That one has no legs.”

“I thought you weren’t competing.”

“Yeah, well—”

“And besides, going by my weight and height, it makes Negan and me more evenly matched,” grinned Clem.

“She’s got a fucking point.”

Negan then hopped up onto the large, flat divider meant to keep people back from the edge. There was still a bit of earth on the other side before it dropped but Negan mercifully stayed just on the edge of the divider instead. Clem jumped up next to him, taking a moment to just pause and look at all the beauty in front of her.

“Christ, it’s massive,” she muttered.

“One of the most god damn impressive things on this planet. And we didn’t even fucking make it,” Negan said with a large laugh.

“How long does it stretch?”

“Miles,” Arat replied as she started to stack bodies up on the divider.

“I heard there was a place that actually had stairs leading down to the bottom. I wonder if those have all rotted away by now,” mused Katy.

“I don’t know,” Christopher piped up, joining the conversation. “They would have been made pretty sturdy.”

“Well does it really matter? If you got stuck down there you’d pretty much be trapped if a herd came through,” Louis said with a shudder. “And it means no one can climb up and sneak up on us. Being up here is a hell of a lot better.”

“Damn right,” Negan agreed, offering his hand to Louis and pulling him up too.

Javi got on and stood next to Negan after the final body had been placed up there with them.

“I thought you weren’t fucking competing.”

“Listen, we still need to get rid of the muertos and it’s a nice view,” Javi defended.

Negan just laughed and looked back at the others. “Anyone else want to join us?”

“I’ll leave the theatrics to you,” Arat snorted. “I’m going to prep a place for us to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll help,” Katy said. “You want to join Ruby?”

“Sounds like a good idea,” the teenager replied. “Much better than watching these morons try not to fall off the edge.”

Javi rolled his eyes as they went ahead and left. He looked to his niece. “You want to come up here?”

“I like the view from down here just fine,” Mari quickly said. Tenn nodded by her side. “But thanks.”

“I want to see!” AJ excitedly said.

Both Mariana and Clementine stepped forward just as Christopher gently held up a hand to AJ. “How about we wait until they’re done getting rid of the walkers first?”

“Yeah, just in case,” Mari quickly said.

“Fine. I’ll wait.” It was clear AJ was trying to sulk but he was too enthralled with the view that he couldn’t act truly upset about it.

Clem turned to Violet and held out her hand. “You want to see?”

Violet hesitated, looking over the edge.

“Come on Vi! It looks awesome up here,” Louis tried.

“Don’t worry. I promise I won’t let you fall in. And you don’t have to throw a single walker,” Clem added with an encouraging smile. She held out her hand just a little farther.

Violet hesitated a few seconds longer before grasping Clem’s hand. Clem pulled her up as Christopher, Mari, Tenn, and AJ stood as close as they could to the divider.

“Here, I got an even better idea,” grinned Negan. He stomped down on the neck of a walker several times before he could easily rip off the head.

“Gross!” AJ said in a way that clearly meant he thought it was really rather cool than actually gross.

“Yeah, that makes a lot more sense,” Clem said, doing the same as Javi just rolled his eyes again.

He picked up a body rolled, slash kicked, it over the edge.

“Not fucking bad Javi, but I’d think a famous baseball player like yourself could do fucking better,” laughed Negan as he wound his hand up and chucked the head out into the canyon. It didn’t even make it half way across but it definitely went farther than Javi’s.

“Nice,” Clem grinned, winding up her own arm.

“Ok, first of all, wasn’t a pitcher. Second, I said I’m not competing.”

“Maybe so but you’re losing pretty bad man,” laughed Louis, quickly joining in.

Clem threw a head and then offered a hand to Violet. She actually laughed and shook her head. “I’m having more fun watching. Besides, I don’t want to take Javi’s place as looser.”

“I..am…not…competing,” grunted Javi as he tossed another body over. It was so far down they could barely see them hitting the bottom.

“And yet you’re still losing,” Negan grinned as he, Louis, and Clem tossed more and more pieces into the canyon. Javi got stuck with the whole bodies or major chest parts that they left behind.

Once they were all gone, Clem offered to help AJ up. Mari stayed close but kept her feet firmly on the safer ground. AJ let out a little gasp of amazement as they continued to look around the canyon before Christopher finally said, “I think I’m going to take a look at that indoor garden. See if anything is salvageable. You boys want to join?”

“Sure thing,” said Tenn as AJ hopped back down.

As they headed inside, Mariana asked, “Did you find anything cool in there?”

“There’s some old photos from years ago,” said Clem. “Like the building of this lodge and other areas of the Grand Canyon.”

“Can you show me?” asked Violet.

“Sure.”

“Ah, that’s boring though,” whined Louis.

“There’s also a laundry chute,” Clem said, jumping down with Violet following.

“Oh hell yeah! Now I’m all about that. Lead the way Clementine!”

Clem rolled her eyes but still led the others back inside. It finally just left Javi and Negan alone on the edge. The sun was high now, lighting up the entire canyon. The shadows by them were short, almost invisible. “You know, we may not have to keep going,” hummed Javi.

“Maybe. I want to make sure there aren’t any fuckers nearby though.”

Javi nodded in agreement. He turned around and looked back at the lodge. “But obviously the canyon would provide a great border for us. For once, we wouldn’t have to be watching our backs constantly.”

“Just our fronts,” chuckled Negan.

“We’d probably want to get rid of most of those walls but the stakes could still be useful. Plenty of trees around us. If we can get the right tools we could make a much better barricade. There’s plenty of windows that would make good look out points around the building and more than enough room.” Javi kept mumbling to himself, his mind building and setting up everything in front of him. “We could clean up the garden inside, have it be something safe from the elements but we could expand outside too. There’s an actual kitchen. Could probably look at the water and electricity situation. Maybe we could get all that up and running again. And…”

Javi kept talking. Negan walked closer until he suddenly had his arms around the younger man. His chin rested on Javi’s shoulder. “You really fucking like this idea. Huh?”

“It’s a good opportunity. I’d hate for us to let it pass by. It could be our best option for a while,” Javi said.

“Could be.”

“It would also allow Tenn and AJ some time to grow up a bit more too. They’re definitely capable but I’d feel safer being here than on the road during their whole childhood.”

“Playing dad, huh?”

“Yeah, a real, all-American family right here,” laughed Javi, finally wrapping his own arms around Negan’s. “Just two dads, two moms, the grandpa gardener, two kids, and four teenagers.”

“Didn’t include Clem in the teenagers. So what’s that make Firecracker?”

“The cool aunt.”

Negan laughed good and hard. “I fucking like it. We can get matching t-shirts or something.”

“Now there’s a good way to mortify a bunch of teenagers,” snorted Javi. “Pretty sure that would still work, even in the apocalypse.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Javi laughed again before turning around to kiss Negan more easily. Being stuck in the vehicles for so long, it was nice having a moment like this. Even if they didn’t stay for as long as Javi hoped they would, he was still going to take advantage of the opportunity at privacy they now had.

When Javi pulled away, Negan jumped back down and Javi followed.

“Let’s get this fucking place prepped for tonight and tomorrow we’ll see if we have any neighbors we need to deal with.”

“And then…”

“Then we might just start fucking planning for the long term,” grinned Negan.

He looped one arm around Javi’s waist. He fit against Negan’s side perfectly as they walked back towards the lodge, towards possibly a new, maybe even more permanent, home.


End file.
